Chapter 25

Sirinna's body jerked once as she was jolted awake.

She whimpered, her body curling as if a wave of real pain had flooded over her. The phantom sensation vanished a moment later. Her body relaxed, and she let out a quavering sigh.

Sirinna sat up in bed and raised a shaky hand to her forehead. Her heart still hammered, and her body still trembled with fear. Her eyes darted in the dim light of pre-dawn, as if she expected the man from her dream to be in the room with her.

It made no sense to her. Why would she be frightened of any man that might be in the Manor? No one would treat her as cruel as...

As...

Sirinna shook her head and let out an exasperated sigh. She felt like she almost knew what was going on in these dreams. As she became more alert, the dream slowly made less sense.

That was not her. It couldn't be. She was always ready and eager to provide for another's pleasure. No one had to force it from her. She would never be unreceptive. And no man would have reason to punish her so brutally. Even Master Roquan would never be that forceful in his punishments.

She finally made a connection. She recalled the time she had overheard Rennis speaking about Sirinna, how she might have been abused. If such a thing had happened, it existed only on the memories that were mercifully removed by the Draught.

Sirinna shook her head. No, it couldn't be that. She must have been mistaken. She was not supposed to have remembered what was said anyway. A good slave never did. A good slave let those around her have their secrets. She did not recall a single thing that others have said around her, so why was this memory so persistent?

Sirinna let out a long sigh, her hands pressed to her temples. She closed her eyes, then quickly opened them again, afraid that the imagery from the dream might replay once more.

Sirinna looked towards Amanda's chamber, where the girl continued to sleep soundly. Perhaps she should bring this up with Amanda. She might understand what was going on. Amanda could reassure her that these were not really Sirinna's own memories, but something else entirely. Amanda was so much smarter than Sirinna. She would know the answer.

Sirinna was suddenly cognizant of her own intellectual limitation. Now she wished that Vanlo had given her that potion. Then she would not have to bother Amanda at all.

Roquan emerged from his quarters just as the first faint rays of sunrise stretched across the Manor. He strolled to the edge of the gardens, where a man waited for him. "You wished to see me, Lanno?" asked the Overlord.

Lanno shifted his feet. "Um, yes, my Lord. I, uh, have something I need to talk to you about."

"Yes?"

"This ruse that you're doing to get Freya to leave her Manor. Do you have any idea what will happen with Evella, her Healer?"

"Ah, yes, her," Roquan said. There was a hint of disdain in his voice that Lanno tried to ignore. "I have no idea. Why should I be concerned?"

"My Lord, I knew Evella back at the Guild Hall. What she did for Freya is not something she would normally do. I think Freya forced her into it."

After a moment's pause, Roquan nodded. "Very well. I will take you at your word. I still believe she exercised poor judgment, but I will no longer think of her as being a direct accomplice. Is that all you wish of me?"

"No. Um, I was hoping there was some way we could ... well, that we could get her away from Freya."

"I do not see how we could. The only way to do so would be to Farview her and tell her of the plot, which would only expose the ruse for what it is."

Lanno nodded. "I understand that. But surely there's something we can do?"

"If there is, I do not see it. I am sorry, Lanno, but her fate is in Freya's hands. It is unlikely she will let the girl out of her sight considering what she knows of Freya's illicit actions."

Lanno looked crestfallen. "And there's no way we can get Freya to come here?"

Roquan tilted his head. "I beg your pardon?"

"Well, Freya has to leave her Manor since she thinks she's going to be overrun by the Emperor's legions. She has to go somewhere. Could you offer her... ?"

"I will do nothing of the kind, and it is unlikely she would accept in any case."

"But then you could keep her here. You could keep an eye on her."

Roquan raised an eyebrow. "You mean imprison her here?"

"Well, why not? I mean, come on, look what she's doing. It's criminal! We can't let her loose on..."

"Master Lanno, I am sorry," said Roquan. "As much as I would like to hold her to her crimes, it is not for me to judge. She must be held accountable to the Overlords as a whole. It must be done before a formal Conclave. It is truly a moot point, however, as Freya would never accept sanctuary here. She would suspect duplicity from the start."

Lanno wanted to rail against the Overlord for his shortsightedness, but realized that he would likely sound unreasonable to Roquan's ears.

"I am sorry," Roquan repeated in a more contrite voice.

Lanno nodded solemnly. "I understand."

"It is my hope that Freya will face the Overlords soon. That would be the most auspicious time to break Freya's hold over Evella."

"Yes, thank you. Sorry to have wasted your time, Overlord. Good day."

"Good day," Roquan said to the already retreating back and slumped shoulders of the young Healer.

Amanda put down the half-eaten fruit and stared at Sirinna. "I thought you told me you weren't having those dreams anymore."

Sirinna looked embarrassed. She shifted her leg under her. "Well, I don't have them that often, love, I just..."

"You shouldn't be having them at all!"

"Amanda, it's all right. I just wondered if you could tell me what it means. I ... I don't understand these things as well as you do."

There was a definite hint of regret in Sirinna's voice, but Amanda was panicked enough that she did not notice. She was not sure how to respond. She did not want to confirm that these were actual memories from Sirinna's past. She did not want them to be. The implications sickened her.

"These aren't real, are they?" Sirinna asked nervously into Amanda's silence.

"No, of course not," Amanda replied quickly. "Why would they be? Sex is always enjoyable for you, right?"

Sirinna nodded and slowly smiled. "Yes, of course it is. You should know that, of all people."

A hint of a smile played across Amanda's lips as well, but it was largely forced. "I think you're just having bad dreams, like people sometimes do."

"But I've never had them before now. Before recently, I mean."

"Well ... you're ... you're under a lot of stress."

Sirinna tilted her head. "I am?"

Amanda hated herself for lying. She was taking advantage of her lover's more limited intelligence, and it twisted her stomach with guilt. "Yes. We all are. Just with everything that's going on now."

"You know far more about that than I do, Amanda. I know only what you tell me, and you haven't really spoken much about it lately."

"There's not a lot to tell," Amanda lied again. "Not really. I didn't want to bore you with just the same old stuff."

"You're never a bore, love. And ... I like to try to understand things. I know you want me to understand more, so I've been trying." She paused. "This civil war, it's still going on, right? Wasn't Lord Duric going to do something to the Emperor? Replace him? That's it, isn't it? He wants to have someone else to be Emperor."

Amanda was stunned. "You remember that? You understand that?"

"Well, I understand it's important. The Emperor is not doing his job. He's doing things that are wrong. Like when he tried to take me, or how he ignores the ... the, um ... something that tells him the rules. He did something against those rules. So that got people upset with him. So they want someone different."

Amanda was speechless.

Sometimes Amanda would forget that Sirinna had a limited understanding of the world and gave her more information than she could handle, as anxious as Amanda sometimes was to have someone to talk to about current events. Apparently, however, some of what she had said had stuck. This went a step further. Sirinna had actually pulled together the bits of information into something coherent.

But what was more astonishing than Sirinna's power of association was the fact that she had not couched her statements as things that Roquan wanted. Until now, Sirinna could only voice things in terms of how it fit into her own little world view, thus her only yardstick was how it pleased or did not please Roquan.

"Did I get that wrong?" Sirinna asked in the wake of Amanda's silence.

"Uh ... no ... no, Sirinna, that's right. That's pretty much what's going on," said Amanda in a hollow voice.

"Is there something wrong, love?"

"Sirinna, I need you to tell me honestly. Have you been trying to remember? I mean, trying to remember your past, before you had the Draught?"

Sirinna hesitated. "Well ... yes, I a little."

"Well, stop it!"

Sirinna looked surprised. "I'm sorry?"

"Stop it. Don't do it. Don't try to remember, it's not really important."

"But you seemed to think that it was. I just..."

Amanda shook her head. "No, I was wrong, and I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't be trying to change you."

"Change me?"

"Yes, change you into something you're not. Just like you don't do that to me. I mean, you trained me and all that, but you never tried to stop me from thinking on my own, or to stop wanting something more than being a slave."

Sirinna reached across the serving platter and took Amanda's hand. "Of course I don't. You have to be who you are, Amanda. Being a slave is important, and it's what you are. But nothing says you can't do anything else. I just never had a Trainee that wanted such things."

Amanda slowly smiled and her eyes blurred with tears. She pulled Sirinna into an embrace, upsetting the platter and spilling some of the contents on the furs. "I'm sorry, Sirinna," Amanda said softly.

"Sorry for what, love?"

"Just ... just for trying to force my thinking on you. For making decisions for you. That wasn't right."

Sirinna hugged Amanda tightly for a few more moments, then eased out of it. She smiled at her lover. "It's okay. But do you really want me to stop trying to remember?"

Amanda wiped her eyes. "Yes, please. You were right. You really don't need those memories. They're not important." She glanced down as Sirinna began to retrieve items that had fallen from the platter. "Oops. Sorry. Now the fruit is going to have hairs on it."

Sirinna smiled. "It's all right, I can get us some more. All right, love, I won't try to remember then. But you're sure those dreams are not my memories?"

Amanda shook her head. "They're not your memories. Not in the least. I think your mind just played a sort of trick on you. You remembered the bit you thought you overheard about being abused, and combined it with wanting to remember, so your mind invented this."

Sirinna nodded slowly. She did not fully understand it, but it made some sense to her. It was certainly preferable to believing that such things could have happened to her.

Amanda actually thought her explanation sounded plausible. She just had to hope that Sirinna would not make a connection that would cause the logic to collapse.

Sirinna finished collecting the remains of breakfast. "Do you wish me to get us some more, love?"

Amanda shook her head. She did not have an appetite anymore. "I've had enough. I have to get over to Master Doran and attend to him this morning."

Sirinna smiled. "Have you been doing well by him?"

"Yes, he seems to like me, and he's doing much better."

"Very good. Having other Overlords look on you favorably is always good."

Amanda smiled faintly and nodded. She rose from the bed. "I'll see you at midday, Mistress."

Sirinna smiled and nodded. Amanda returned the smile and headed out.

Roquan picked up his goblet and swirled the wine around within it, a gesture that was a bit uncharacteristic. He peered into it as if he could see something in the eddies.

"Having second thoughts?"

Roquan looked up and across the small table. Rennis gave him a lopsided smile, his goblet held high. "Second thoughts about what, Rennis? About Amanda? About the Conclave? About this war? Which dead horse shall we continue to abuse?"

Rennis raised an eyebrow. "I was referring only to sharing a drink with me this early in the morning."

Roquan looked taken aback, then silently took a sip of his wine before setting the goblet down. "My apologies," he muttered.

"You're too much on edge, Roquan. You always did have a problem with that."

"I believe I have good reason to be 'on edge, ' as you put it."

Rennis shrugged and took another drink. "I'm not saying that you shouldn't be concerned about what's going on. I just mean you can't let it get to you. Like I almost did with Sirinna."

Roquan appeared to relax somewhat. "So you have come to terms with that?"

"Yes. Really, I can't imagine her being in a better place. She has you and Amanda looking out for her, and you have Vanlo. I would likely be too overprotective if I tried to take her back."

"You assume I would even sell her back to you."

Rennis fixed a level gaze at his friend. "You would if we both thought it was best for her."

Roquan paused, then slowly nodded. "I would. But you would have to take Amanda as well."

Rennis smirked. "Sure, why not? I need some excitement in my life."

"I could do with a little less. Will you be returning to your Manor soon?"

Rennis leaned back in his seat. "Yes. I don't think there is anything more to be done here that can't be done over Farview."

"I will keep you appraised of the situation with Freya. I am hoping she will not delay in making her exit from her Manor."

"If she does. If she doesn't see through the ruse. If she doesn't try to contact the Emperor herself."

Roquan frowned. "I had not considered that possibility."

"Neither did I, until now. Long shot, but nothing is predictable anymore."

"Nevertheless, I should have considered it. I ... oh, hellfire, what now?"

Rennis peered over the top of his goblet questioningly.

Roquan stood. "I am being summoned to Farview. The merchant clan leader Uridon." He stepped away from the table and drew himself properly upright. "I accept the summons."

Uridon's haggard visage sparkled into view.

"Good day, Clan Leader," said Roquan. "What news have you?"

"Good day, Overlord," growled Uridon. "I have a message for you. A courier is on his way to your Manor with a parcel from the Mage Guild."

Rennis raised an eyebrow and set his goblet down. "I am expecting nothing from the Guild Hall, let alone anything that would require so quick a delivery time as to make use of a courier," said Roquan curtly.

"Be that as it may, Roquan, one is on his way to you."

"And just what is it he is delivering to me?"

"A Farviewing pearl bound to someone at the Guild."

"Oh for the love of the gods," Roquan muttered in irritation. "Uridon, I have already been duped once in recent times with a pearl that contained illicit magic upon it. I will not accept yet another attempt to..."

"Roquan, as far as I have been told, this pearl is clean," said Uridon. "It is nothing more than a Farviewing pearl."

"There is no one at the Guild Hall with whom I would wish to speak. I know of only one Mage personally, and he is the same one that assisted in the earlier subterfuge."

"The pearl is from a Mage named Uroddus Q'garra."

Roquan hesitated. He glanced back at Rennis, who shook his head. "Overlord Rennis is with me. He has never heard of a Mage by this name."

"I wish I had more information for you, Roquan," said Uridon. "I was suspicious as well, but once I saw that it was clean and that it was not from Q'yros, I have tried to expedite its arrival."

"It is a wasted effort."

Uridon sighed. "I was going to ask if you wished to power your Portal for the final leg of his journey, but I can see what the answer will be to that."

"Then I have no need to answer it," said Roquan tightly. "I will accept this courier and his parcel on your word, Clan Leader. But whatever the Mage Guild has to say, it can wait until I have dealt with all the other crises in which I am embroiled. But I thank you for the warning."

Uridon nodded. "Very well. I can't say that I'm not a bit suspicious of the Mages myself, but then again, all merchants have a bit of uneasiness with Magery. Good day to you, Roquan."

"Good day, Uridon."

Rennis waited until the clan leader's image had faded away. "So, no idea what this is about?"

Roquan shook his head. "None." He sat and swept up the goblet. "I have had little use for the Mage Guild since they refused to take sides in this war."

"They're supposed to be neutral. Just like the merchants are supposed to be."

"But the merchants under Uridon understood that sides must be taken. The Mages have failed to realize this. And if they are not part of the solution, they are part of the problem."

Rennis considered, then shrugged and finished off the rest of his wine. "In either case, perhaps I will stay a bit longer to see what the Guild has to say. They've been very quiet of late, and I'm curious to know what they've been up to."

"Likely nothing," said Roquan with disdain. "They appear to be more interested in platinum than ideals."

Lanno stood by one of the counters in the treatment room, sorting through some of the inventory of herbs and tinctures. He was not aware of another presence in the room until an herb bag was dropped before him. Lanno flinched and jerked his head.

"Feel free to inventory that," said Vanlo. "As it is not what I need."

"Uh, sure," Lanno said absently. He peeked inside the bag, then re-tied it and plopped it among the other herbs.

Vanlo reached across his vision, took the bag that Lanno had put away, and once more dropped it before him. Lanno gave the elder Healer a blank look.

"Try again, if you would."

Lanno blinked in confusion, then looked into the bag again. He was about to put it back in the same place when he stopped and took a closer look. "Oh."

"Ah, you realize the error, hmm?"

"Um, yes. This is Rallasan. I thought it was..." He paused and frowned. "Since when did you need Rallasan for your elixir?"

"I do not. But it is what you brought me earlier."

"No, I brought you Torrasan, like you ... oh."

Vanlo smiled gently. "Ah, you see the error now. Splendid."

Lanno sighed heavily. He put the herb where it was supposed to go and fetched another, which he handed to Vanlo. "Here, this is Torrasan," he said in irritation.

Vanlo accepted the bag. "Are you quite all right this morning, Lanno?"

Lanno was about to retort, but the genuine concern in Vanlo's voice made him pause. Finally he slapped his hand against the counter and turned more fully towards the elder Healer. "No, I'm not. Evella is stuck at Freya's Manor and the Overlord won't lift a finger to help her!"

"I had counseled against you going to his Lordship with this, I seem to recall."

"Yes, but since when do I listen to you?"

"Hmm, there is that. Hope springs eternal, however."

"Look, I know, I'm being stupid. Everyone thinks Evella is evil because of what she did for Freya, or that she should have stood up against her or something. She's just not that kind of girl in either case."

"I do not believe I ever expressed a negative opinion of her one way or the other, Lanno," said Vanlo. "I do wish she had exercised better judgment, but that is not a condemnation of her. I do hope she has an opportunity to get away from Overlord Freya. Certainly the Healers could use another that has studied the old art of chemistry."