Chapter 1

The lights were off and I sat on the couch in the dark living room and stared at the opposite wall and wondered how it could possibly have happened to me. I had always thought of myself as a man. Truth be told, and I admit to some ego here, I would have considered myself a 'manly man.' As a middle linebacker I made All State in my junior and senior years in high school. As a wrestler I was undefeated in my weight class three years running. I engaged in and was good at manly pursuits like hunting, fishing, rafting, bowling, golf and I was one hell of a good poker player.

Not having the money for college I joined the Army right out of high school to learn a trade and take advantage of the Army's educational opportunities and at the end of my three year enlistment I returned home with knowledge of computers, a Bronze Star and two Purple Hearts. So yes, all in all I did consider myself a man. At least I did until a five foot one inch one hundred and five pound woman reduced my six foot two inch two hundred and ten pound self to ashes.

I met Gail Sue three weeks after getting home from the Army. I spent the first two weeks looking for a part time job that would allow me to take afternoon and evening classes at the college and doing all of the things necessary to get admitted and sign up for classes.

Those things taken care of I went looking for an apartment that would be close to work and to school. I found an apartment complex that was in the perfect location for me and when I walked into the leasing office I saw the most beautiful girl in the world sitting behind the desk. The name plate on the desk said that her name was Gail Sue Marshall. Long red hair that fell below her shoulders framed the face of an angel. Her voice, low and throaty, curled my toes when she said:

"May I help you?"

I told her I was looking for an apartment and asked if they had any vacancies. She told me that they did and what was available and what the monthly rates were and then she explained the ins and outs of the lease agreement. She told me that I would need to put up the first and last months rent and a security deposit. When I didn't flinch at any of the numbers she asked me if I would like to see the units that were available and when I said yes she stood up from behind her desk and reached for a ring of keys hanging on a hook behind her. The rest of her went perfectly with the angelic face and the red hair. I glanced quickly at her left hand and noticed that she wasn't wearing any rings.

We certainly made an odd looking couple as we walked through the apartment complex. My 6'2" body towered over her 5'1" and she had to tilt her head back to look up and talk to me. The first one bedroom she looked at was too small for me and I told her that unless she had larger one bedroom units we should start looking at two bedroom units.

I picked out a nice one overlooking the pool and she asked me if I was going to have a roommate. I told her that I wasn't planning on it and then I asked her why she'd asked. She said that it just seemed odd that a single guy would take on the expense of a two bedroom. I told her that I was a student at college and I was going to use the second bedroom as a home office or den. I told her that I would probably entertain occasionally and I didn't want to give up space in the living room, dining room and kitchen area for a desk, computer and tables to hold printer, flat bed scanner, books and whatever else.

She told me that she took night classes at the college and asked me what my major was and we got to discussing school and schedules as we walked back to the office so I could sign the lease agreement. As I left the office I told her that I would see her around and she said:

"I certainly hope so."

At that my ears perked up and I wondered if she was just being polite or would maybe welcome my attentions.

The next week was a busy one for me as I ran around buying furniture and all the other things I needed to set up the apartment. I was in Wal-Mart buying a set of pots and pans when a voice behind me said:

"How's the move in coming?"

I turned and saw Gail Sue standing there. "Kind of slow" I said. "I've never been on my own before so I've no idea of all that I really need. I'm forever finding something that I just have to have and back down here I come. It is too bad that Wally World does not give frequent flyer miles. I could have had a trip to Europe by now."

"Maybe I can help. Got time for a cup of coffee?"

I said that I did and after I had checked out we went next door to the Starbucks. When we sat down she took a pad and pen out of her hand bag and started writing on it. After a couple of minutes she slid the pad across the table to me and told me that it was the bare minimum that I should have to start with. I looked at the list and then took out my pen and crossed out all the things I already had and then I tore the sheet off the pad and put it in my pocket as I said:

"I can see that it is back to Wal-Mart for me."

"Do you know what to do with those pots and pans you bought today?"

"Pretty much. My mom taught all of us kids how to cook and then since she and dad both worked the three of us kids had to take turns doing the meals during the week and mom did the weekends."

"What is your specialty?"

"My specialty?"

"Sure. Everyone who cooks has something that they think is really good and they make it more often than anything else they do."

"I guess it would be my meat loaf."

"When do I get to try it?"

No way was I going to let an opening like that go by so I asked her if she were free that night.

I served a nice Merlot with the meatloaf, baked potato and French style green beans and when dinner was over we sat there, sipped the wine and got to know each other better. She was an only child and her parents were divorced. Following the divorce her father moved to California and her only contact with him was a phone call on her birthday and a Christmas card with a check in it. Her mother remarried and moved to Atlanta and they talked on the phone twice a week. She couldn't afford to go to school full time and work part time so she worked full time and went to school part time. She liked her job and one of the reasons was that she got an employee discount on her one bedroom apartment.

I told her about growing up on a farm with an older sister and a younger brother and how my mom raised the three of us after my father was killed in an auto accident. I told her my goal was a degree in Electrical Engineering and she told me she was after a degree in Interior Design. When it was time for her to go I asked her if she would like to try my Linguini Alfredo she said she would love to.

"How about Friday at seven?"

"It's a date."

Friday night was a repeat of Tuesday in that after we ate we sat, sipped wine and talked. I enjoyed her company very much. She was intelligent, had a great sense of humor and it was a joy just to sit and look at her.

On Monday and Wednesday we both had an evening class that ran from seven until eight-thirty so we met after class at a local pub for a drink and the third time we did that I asked her for a "real date."

"A real date?"

"Yeah, you know, dinner and then a movie or maybe drinks and dancing."

"Definitely drinks and dancing. When?"

"How about this Saturday?"

"What time?"

"Will six work for you?"

She was a dream to dance with and we spent a lot of time out on the dance floor. We had been there about two hours and were out on the dance floor moving together to a fairly slow number. I can still remember it - "Nights in White Satin" - and Gail reached up and pulled my head down and kissed me. I was so surprised that it was a second or so before I woke up and kissed her back. She broke the kiss and tucked in close to me and after the song ended we went back to our booth where instead of sitting across from me she slid in beside me and held my hand while we kissed again.

After that night we were a couple,. We dated all through my freshman year and into the middle of my sophomore year. After we had been dating for about four months she asked me why I had not made a move on her of a sexual nature. We had kissed a lot and some of our necking sessions had been pretty heated.

"But you have never tried to put your hands on my breasts or run a hand up my leg or do anything that a girl expects a guy to try."

"It wouldn't be fair of me to do any of that."

"How would it not be fair?"

"It would get you worked up to no end. I promised my mother I would go to my wedding bed a virgin."

"You are twenty-two and still a virgin?"

"Yes I am."

"Oh wow. I don't believe it. A twenty-two year old girl maybe, but not a guy."

"It hasn't been easy. Back in high school I almost succumbed a couple of times. That's how I know about getting worked up and why I'm avoiding doing it with you."

Gail had looked at me for several seconds before saying, "Are you going to expect your bride to be a virgin also?"

I chuckled and then said, "Not unless she promised my mother she would be. No honey, it would be nice, but it would not be a requirement."

I thought I saw relief in her eyes and then she said, "You have never mentioned it, but do we have a future?"

"I hope so."

"Then why haven't you asked me to marry you?"

"I won't get married until I get college out of the way and that is a long time to ask a girl to wait around. I figured that if I asked you and you said yes it would lock you in and I didn't want to do that to you. My thought was that if we were still a couple when my degree was in sight it would mean that we would be good for the long haul."

"The long haul?"

"Yes honey, the long haul. To me marriage is forever.

"So what you are saying is that you think between now and when you graduate I'm going to go and find another guy?"

"What I am saying is that I'm three and a half years away from graduation and I want you to be free to make sure that you are sure of what you want."

"In other words I'm free to date others to make sure that the one I really want is you."

"That pretty much sums it up."

"Guys can be so dense sometimes. Can we go looking for a ring tomorrow?"

We found one she liked the next day and I went to my knees and proposed, she said yes and I slipped the ring on her finger.

A week later she called me on the phone and told me that her mother had been in a bad accident and she had to fly to Atlanta. She told me she didn't know how long she would be gone, but that she would call me as soon as she got there and found out more of what was going on. She called me the next day and told me that it would be a while before she would be able to come back. Both her mother and her stepfather were hurt pretty badly and she was going to have to stay with them until they were back on their feet. She was gone almost eight months. We talked two or three times a week and when the term ended in June I told her I would take a week off of work and fly to Atlanta to visit, but she talked me out of it. She said it would be a waste of money since she couldn't get away to spend any time with me. We talked on the phone weekly and her visit to Atlanta seemed to stretch out longer and longer. There were some rehab issues is what she told me.