Chapter 1

"Oh my god, doctor, I ... he..." Jane broke down, sobbing into the phone.

"There, there, Jane," her psychiatrist said smoothly, "take a moment to collect yourself."

Jane was a relatively new patient for Dr. Susan Palmer. She had come in complaining of depression and lack of energy just two months ago. Unfortunately, even after a half dozen sessions, they had made no real progress. But now here she was calling her doctor out of the blue.

Jane took a minute to settle down. "I was ... I was on my husband's computer just now ... you know he almost never leaves it on ... I had to borrow his stapler ... and then I thought I'd just check my E-mail rather than start up my own computer, you know? But then I must have hit the wrong button ... because ... Oh damn!" Jane broke into fresh sobs.

"What, Jane?" Dr. Susan prompted.

"WifeysWorld!" Jane wailed.

"What's that?" Immediately Dr. Susan opened up her own web browser and googled 'wifeys world'.

"It's porn! It's porn of this ... this ... woman!" Jane spat out the word, "and she's doing all of these slutty, disgusting, things for her husband..."

Meanwhile, Dr. Susan had found the site and had opened the homepage. 'The web's most well-endowed, orally-obsessed housewife, ' she read. Hmmmm, very, very interesting, she thought to herself.

"But all men look at porn," Dr. Susan said, reasonably. "It's perfectly healthy."

"But she's a housewife!" Jane practically screamed. "He shouldn't need her!! He's got me! It's so unfair!"

"Okay Jane, let's put those specifics aside for now. I'm going to ask you some questions, and I want for you to answer them as honestly as possible. Can you do that for me?"

Jane blew her nose. "Yes..." she sniffled.

"Very good. Now question number one: How long has it been since you and Ted have had sex?"

Dr. Susan heard a quick intake of air on the other end of the line. In their sessions, Jane had always refused to answer this question, saying that it wasn't relevant.

"Uh... 7 months, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Okay, I know! It was 7 months ago, when we were on vacation."

"And how long has it been since you had an orgasm?"

"I don't need to answer that."

"JANE!" Dr. Susan said, with a very firm voice. Sometimes, psychiatrists need to use tough love, she knew. "You must trust me to help you get better. Now answer the question!"

"Fine. Two, three ... ah..."

"Yes?"

"Years. Okay fine. It's been years. I can't remember the last time I orgasmed."