Chapter 19: I Love You

Frank drove aimlessly around in his truck for hours before finally pulling over to the side of the road. He sat alone in the dark cursing himself and pounding his fists against the steering wheel of his truck in frustration. He had idolized Coach Wiley Bills from the very first moment he had met him, until now. Tears of anger stung Frank's eyes. Coach Bills had violated and raped his sister and he knew it. It was the only explanation that made any sense, even though all these years everyone had blamed James Hillam for Angel's pregnancy, James was innocent.

Frank tightened his jaw as he thought about how he had defended Coach Bills over the years. Everyone felt Coach Bills had pushed Frank a bit too hard when he was playing high school football and preparing himself for a career as a professional football player. Frank had become seriously injured near the end of his senior year, yet the coach allowed him to keep playing when he should have encouraged him otherwise. As a result, Frank's injured himself worse and after his second set of injuries he could never play football again. Coach Bills had been relentless about winning and he would have rather risked Frank's health, than lose, but Frank had always overlooked that, blaming no one but himself. Football had been Frank's reason for living and when his dreams of playing professional football had died he had turned to alcohol and drugs and eventually lost the woman he loved.

Frank remembered his sister Angel as a teenager in her brand new cheer leader uniform. She had been full of enthusiasm and spunk back then, not like she was now. Now she was nervous, beaten down, and empty. She was a shell of her former self. Her youthful confidence was gone. A knot began to form in the pit of Frank's stomach as his rage began to build. He was disappointed in himself for not figuring things out sooner and he felt he had failed his sister.

He grit his teeth when he remembered his recent lunch with Coach Bills and how he had been stupid enough to tell him about Angel's recent past as a whore. He couldn't help but wonder if Coach Bills had a sick perversion in which he delighted knowing how much he had destroyed Angel's life. Coach Bills had not only destroyed Angel's life, but all of their lives.

Frank couldn't stand it any longer. He started up the engine of his truck and drove to Red's Barn. Once inside he made his way quickly over to the bar and sat down. Images of Riley and Mia flickered through his mind. How could he be so stupid? Why couldn't he have seen this coming? He wanted to puke. "Pour me a double shot of whiskey Red," Frank said throwing his money down on the bar, "Makers Mark please." "Frank," Red said hesitantly, "Are you sure?" Red knew Frank was a recovered alcoholic and he had great admiration for Frank and didn't want to see Frank destroy himself again like he had a few years ago. "Isn't my money any good?" Frank frowned. Red poured Frank a double shot of Makers Mark, and Frank grabbed it up and gulped the entire shot down in one swallow. "Another one just like that," Frank said breathing a heavy sigh as he slammed down his empty shot on the bar. Red poured another double shot of whiskey for Frank. It was a damn shame.

Claudia realized when Frank didn't show up after awhile that he wasn't coming back anytime soon and she telephoned Frank's ex-wife Amanda and asked if she could come over and pick up Colton. Amanda had been divorced from Frank for awhile now, but she still missed being at the Pirelli house for Sunday dinner and it had been ages since she had attended Mass.

When Amanda knocked on the front door, it was Claudia who answered. Colton saw her as soon as the door opened and immediately rushed to greet her, "Mom!" he squealed as he happily threw his arms around her neck.

"Sorry Frank isn't around to bring him home," Claudia apologized and then she hugged Amanda, "It's so good to see you again, thanks for coming all the way over."

"I don't mind at all," Amanda smiled as she hugged Claudia, "It's been way too long Ma," Amanda had never stopped calling Claudia "Ma" or Martin "Pop" even though she and Frank were divorced. As she hugged Claudia she could tell something was bothering her. "Is there something wrong?" She asked.

Claudia shook her head, "No, nothing to worry about," she attempted to brush it off.

"Mandy!" Rori called from inside the house, "Come in here!" and she rushed to greet her former sister-in-law with open arms.

Amanda and Rori had always been close. They embraced and that's when Amanda spotted Angel sitting at the table next to Dr. Parker. "Oh my God!"

Angel immediately recognized Amanda from high school. Amanda had been in the grade between Frank and Angel, and had also been a cheer leader at St. Christopher's along with Angel. Amanda beamed, "You're back."

Angel nodded and despite her somber mood she stood up to greet Amanda with a hug, "It's good to see you again Mandy." Amanda was thrilled to see Angel, especially inside the Pirelli house because she knew Angel had been disowned. She was beside herself, "I'm so happy you are OK," and she gave Angel a squeeze. Angel had not enjoyed this type of reception from anyone since she arrived in town and it was very refreshing. Her eyes fill with tears, "My brother definitely has good taste in women," Angel sniffed. She and Amanda had always gotten along in school and it was nice that Amanda wasn't condemning her like everyone else had. "Frank was so unhappy when you left," Amanda said warmly, "I bet he is beside himself with joy now that you are back." "Yeah," Angel said vaguely, "Except I don't think he's too happy tonight," she said almost under her breath. Amanda crinkled up her forehead, "What do you mean? Why not? What's going on?" Angel shrugged, unsure of what to say.

"We're just a little worried about him," Rori intervened, "You know how he gets. He rushed out of here awhile ago in a huff and we haven't heard from him since." Amanda knew Frank could be hot tempered, but she also knew he hadn't been very impulsive since he stopped drinking. "Why would he do that?" Rori locked eyes with Amanda and glanced over at Mia, "I'll tell you later," she said softly, signaling to Amanda that she couldn't talk about it with Mia there. Amanda took the hint. "Well, that's Frank for you," Amanda said with a smile, "He can be quite the character sometimes," and she wished that her heart didn't ache so much every time she thought of him or saw him. She looked down at her son and ruffled his hair, "Go get your stuff Colt, we need to get going."

Colton wiped the cake off his mouth with his arm and rushed to gather his belongings.

Rori leaned over and whispered to Amanda, "I'll call you later and explain." Amanda nodded and despite her best efforts tried not to look at Jordan Parker, but it was impossible, so finally she acknowledged him. "Hi Doc."

Jordan swallowed, "Hi Mandy," he smiled warmly. It was awkward between them because Frank had caught Jordan and Amanda together in a motel room and had been livid with Jordan ever since. Even though Frank and Amanda were divorced at the time, it had still ruined his and Frank's friendship.

Amanda then acknowledged Martin, Doug, Mia, and Rori's two boys as she waited for Colton to gather his possessions. Claudia offered her some cake, which she refused. "See you all later," Amanda called as she led Colton out the door.

Jordan realized he hadn't witnessed this much chaos in ages. He had been quiet and withdrawn all evening, attempting to absorb everything that was going on and thinking about the startling truth Rori had unearthed about Coach Bills. Angel clung to him and he held her close in an attempt to offer support and comfort.

They had all just finished eating their chocolate cake when Amanda arrived. The adults were pretending everything was normal for the sake of the children, even though it was becoming increasingly difficult. Angel had smoked cigarette after cigarette and part of her wanted to run away from all the drama, but she managed to stay put with the help of Jordan.

"Go upstairs now Mia," Martin said when Amanda was gone.

Mia turned and glared at her grandpa defiantly, "No!"

"What did you say?" Martin asked sternly.

Angel got a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She quickly stood up and rushed over to her daughter, taking her in her arms, "It's OK Mia," she assured her in a quiet voice. When Mia hugged her mother she could smell the odor of her mother's cigarettes and perfume blended together. It was a scent she had never smelled before, and there was something about it that smelled good to her. Her eyes welled up with tears, "I don't want to go upstairs," Mia protested.

"Shh," Angel said quietly and she pressed Mia's head to her chest with affection, "Some things happened tonight before you came home from bowling and we just need time to talk about them as adults. I promise you'll find out all about them when the time is right."

Mia clung to her mother for support as the tears continued falling from her eyes. "I want to know, now."

Angel held her close, "I know you do sweetie," Angel swallowed, "You can't know yet, but I love you Mia and it's going to be OK."

Martin sighed as he watched the two of them together. All of this emotion was taking a toll on him and he was growing weary and impatient.

Rori took the opportunity while Angel and Mia were hugging to send Doug and her two sons home for the evening, "I'll be home soon and explain everything," she whispered to Doug, who was still ignorant because he had been attempting to entertain the children all afternoon and evening. He looked at his wife and sighed. "OK Ror," and he gave her a peck on the cheek.

"You don't have to stay Rori," Martin said, but he was happy she was there since she was the only one who could seem to function.

"I'll get a ride home with Jordan and Angel," Rori assured her husband and she looked over at Jordan for confirmation who quickly nodded in agreement.

Doug gathered up the boys and left the house, looking back over his shoulder at Angel and Mia as he left. He couldn't help thinking that seeing them together like that was a sight for sore eyes.

"OK Mia, upstairs," Martin said in a stern voice.

"No," Mia said again, tightening her grip on Angel.

Angel worried what her father would do if Mia kept defying him. She pried Mia away from her and cupped her daughter's face in her hands, looking into her eyes and pressing her forehead against Mia's, "Tell you what Mia," Angel said softly, "Tomorrow night I'll come over, if it's OK with Popoff, and I'll take you out to dinner and we can talk then, OK?" Angel looked at Martin for permission.

Martin nodded, "You heard her Mia, now upstairs."

"This isn't fair Popoff," Mia protested, but she knew it was useless. She broke away from her mother and stormed up the stairs. She knew she would be threatened with the belt again if she continued to delay and it made her angry.

Martin raised his eyebrows as he listened to her stomp up the stairs, "I got news for her, life isn't fair," he frowned. He looked over at his wife Claudia, "Will you go upstairs and make sure she doesn't eavesdrop?" Claudia was concerned about Mia and welcomed the opportunity to go upstairs and be with her. Martin looked at Rori, Angel, and Jordan, since the four of them were the only ones left sitting around the old dining room table. "How will you ever find a way to tell her about Coach Bills?" Rori asked. "I don't know," Martin sighed turning toward Angel, "Angelica,"

Angel shrank back and Jordan squeezed her hand.

"Is Bills really Mia's father?" Martin looked at Angel as if he could see right through her.

Angel began to shake and tremble, "Yes Papa," she managed.

"Is there any doubt?" Martin pressed.

"No Papa," Angel said, "He..." and she broke down in tears.

Jordan held her, "It's been a very long day," Jordan said quietly.

"I need more time to think about all of this," Martin said through clenched teeth, "If the truth comes out, and Mia hears it from someone besides us, it won't be good. That rat bastard..."

Jordan leaned back in his chair, "I know I am an outsider here, but I feel Mia is a great kid and she can handle knowing the truth."

Angel was beginning to realize the ramifications of everyone knowing her secret and she needed another smoke. She stood up and went outside and this time Jordan stayed behind.

"I'm glad we finally know what happened," Rori said, "I can't believe we didn't figure it out sooner. It was right there in front of our faces the entire time."

"Angel didn't want us to know," Martin said, "And I can see why."

"If you need someone to help tell Mia the truth, I would be happy to help," Jordan offered.

"No," Martin said, "She needs to hear it from me," and then he looked out the window at his daughter, "Or maybe her mother," he said absently.

"I doubt Angel is strong enough to tell her," Jordan observed, "Plus she hardly knows Mia," and he tightened his jaw as he thought of how Angel kept breaking down every time she attempted to talk about it.

They sat together in silence for awhile. None of them were certain what Frank was doing and if he had already told half the town.

"No one is going to do anything about Bills until we think this through," Martin finally said and then he stood and paced back and forth in agitation, "Let's talk about it tomorrow," he finally said and he brushed past all of them and went in his den and closed the door. Martin was struggling with his feelings of anger, wanting to strangle Coach Bills on one hand and his daughter on the other for not telling him. He felt as if he had been the one who was raped. He couldn't believe what his daughter had been through. He poured himself a glass of scotch to help calm his nerves.

When Jordan and Angel arrived home after their long emotional day, she stopped outside before going in to smoke another cigarette. Jordan frowned as he watched her puff away on her cigarette, and then he finally he reached over and lightly removed the cigarette from her lips and threw it to the ground, stubbing it out with his boot. "Let's go inside," He said, since it was very cold. He then proceeded to pick Angel up and carry her inside the house where it was warm. He carried her down the hall and placed her gently on the bed, "Are you OK?" he asked.

She looked up at him tiredly, "I'm OK."

Jordan lay down on the bed next to her and kissed her tenderly, brushing away the strands of hair that hung over her swollen red rimmed eyes. He couldn't find the words to tell her what was in his heart and mind. He had an unusual fondness for the people of Argus Falls and the surrounding communities because of his role as their doctor and he was sickened to learn what had happened to Angel at the hands of Wiley Bills.

Angel snuggled up next to him and he held her close, encircling her with his arms, "I'm so very sorry about what happened to you," he breathed quietly.