Chapter 37

The next morning started off slowly. We enjoyed a leisurely breakfast. I’m quickly coming to appreciate the benefits of having a live-in housekeeper and cook. But I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be to find someone who’ll be comfortable working under the conditions presented by our new lifestyle, this almost polygamous extended family life we are so eagerly embracing.

Andrea is scheduled for testing at the college after breakfast. Before she left I received a call from Heather asking me if I’d mind coming in and picking up the paperwork on the sale of my company to J.A.M. so I can have my attorneys look it over.

My response was, “I’ll come in and take a look at the documents. But I trust you people. I trust Mo. I see no reason to draw this out and involve teams of attorneys. When you’re ready to complete the deal let me know. I’ll be happy to sign.”

Heather was quiet for a moment. Then she said, “That’s so refreshing. I’m touched. Mo is ready to complete the deal whenever you are. Let me know when you want to do this and I’ll set it up.”

I said, “I’m free this morning. Andrea is going to be in town getting tested to find out how soft her brain is.”

I got an elbow in the ribs for that remark.

Heather asked me to hold on for a moment. She came back on a few seconds later and asked, “Is ten o’clock alright with you?”

“That’s fine. I’ll come in around nine-thirty and take a quick look at the documents. I’ll make sure you spelled my name right. But as I said, I trust you people and I’m not worried about the content of the agreement.”

Andrea got ready and went in to take the tests the school requires of her before they allow her to matriculate. We agreed to meet for lunch if she’s free by then. She’s going to call me and let me know.

I got dressed and Jan loaned me her car to drive over to J.A.M. at nine-thirty. Heather put me in the office which I’ve been informed is going to be mine when I start work. I sat at the desk with a three-inch-thick folder.

Most of it was legal and technical jargon. I was reserving nothing of the assets for myself. I checked to make certain Lori is going to remain in charge at the plant. As it turns out, not only is she named manager but her pay will be doubled and she’ll receive annual bonuses! She’s worth every penny of it.

The engineer responsible for the patents J.A.M. is interested in is being reimbursed as we agreed. I double checked to see that they had removed the stock option from the deal. It’s all right there in black and white. All the provisions we discussed. Paper clipped to the cover of the folder is a check for one hundred million dollars.

I never need to work again. And yet I’m eagerly looking forward to working here with these people.

I took the folder back up the corridor to Heather’s office and handed it to her. She smiled and said, “That didn’t take long.”

I shrugged and said, “I just wanted to make sure my people were taken care of. But as I said, I trust you.”

She stood up and picked up the folder. She looked me in the eye and said, “Good. Because you can. Mo is ready if you are.”

I nodded and we went to a nearby conference room. Mo is inside along with a dyspeptic looking lone attorney who probably drew up the contract. I’m struck by how strange it is that there’s only one attorney in the room for a deal this large and complex. I like what that says about Mo.

Lori and the engineer who is about to receive a large check for his work on the processes which resulted in the patents are also here. All of the Senior and Junior VPs are here, too.

Everyone stood up when we entered. Lori rushed over and hugged me. She put her hands on my cheeks and said, “All these people are wonderful. But I’m going to miss you, Dean.”

Neil came over and shook my hand. He said, “I can’t thank you enough, Dean. When Heather called me this morning and gave me the news ... I still don’t know what to say. You’re a decent man. Thank you.”

I slapped him on the shoulder and said, “If you start crying the deal is off!”

He grinned and replied, “The tears are going to come when I get home and tell my wife what you’ve done.”

The three Senior VPs I’m meeting for the first time all welcomed me to the company and shook my hand. The other two nodded and smiled. Gregg took Neil aside and they talked engineering stuff like a couple of super geeks for a while. It looks like they’ve already established a good working relationship.

The attorney asked me if I read the contract. I told him I looked it over and I’m satisfied.

He seemed a little put out that I’m not having a team of my own attorneys look it over. He actually seems reluctant to let me sign the deal. I chuckled and said, “Mo, there’s something wrong when I trust you more than your own attorney does.”

Mo laughed and said, “He can’t help it. He’s an attorney. They don’t trust anyone. They’re missing that gene.”

The attorney was not amused. I half expected him to pull a handful of antacids out of his pocket and gobble them down. I couldn’t help wondering if he wears that same sour expression when he isn’t at work.

We sat down and the attorney went through the agreement pointing out all the places requiring our signatures or initials. There were a hell of a lot of them. When we finally finished he handed the check to Mo. Mo signed it and handed it to me. I thanked him and said, “It doesn’t look like I’ll need two weeks. I bought a house. I have a decorator. I hear he does pretty good work. I may need a day to get Andrea enrolled. But except for that I’m ready. When do you want me to start?”

He told me to come in Monday. Then he asked Heather to escort me to personnel to sign my employment papers and get an ID. It’s official. I’m no longer self-employed. As I was leaving, Mo called after me, “Dinner at my place tonight.”

I nodded and went off with Heather to sign my name a few dozen more times. She left me with a woman in personnel and I thanked her for her help. She shook my hand and said, “Welcome to the company. You’re going to love working here. We all do.”

I smiled and said, “I know. I already feel like some of these people are the best friends I’ve ever had.”

She nodded and said, “Some of them are. See you Monday.”

It felt kind of strange to be signing all those employment papers when I have that huge check in my pocket. But I went through everything with the extremely thorough young woman who was very helpful except that she absolutely refused to let me turn down the company car.

I posed for a picture for my ID card and that concluded our business. She graciously offered to escort me to the front door because I’ve gotten all turned around and don’t know the way out.

I drove straight to my financial manager’s office. He was in the reception area talking to his receptionist when I entered. Actually, I’m being generous. It sounded very much like he was flirting with her. He looked up and said, “I don’t have your check yet, Mr. Steadman. To be honest I’m still reviewing your accounts. This isn’t like a bank account where you can just withdraw funds. Certainly not in amounts that large. I’m trying to find the most economical way of doing this.”

I wasn’t impressed with his handling of the matter. I was tempted to take my money elsewhere. But I decided that would be too much of a hassle. So instead, with an obvious look of disapproval on my face I said, “Never mind. Just leave everything the way it is.”

I turned to leave but before I could he asked, “What about the deposit you were going to make?”

I held the check I just received up so that he could see it and replied, “Never mind that, too. I’ll find somewhere else to invest a hundred million dollars. I’m not impressed with the way you’ve responded to my needs.”

I felt an enormous amount of satisfaction from the look on his face as I turned and left.

I went to my bank and discovered just how difficult it is to deposit a check for one hundred million dollars. You’d be surprised. It would almost have been easier to deposit that same amount in pennies.

I ended up leaving there nearly as dissatisfied as I was when I left my financial manager’s office. They promised to call me when the funds are available. I notified them I’m staying at a local hotel until our new house is ready and then I went out to the car. I took out my phone to call the agent at Riverside Estates to tell him what the banker told me. I had a couple of missed calls. I’d forgotten I turned the ringer off when I was reviewing and signing the contract.

I checked my messages. Andrea called to tell me that she won’t be able to make lunch. They came up with more tests they want her to take.

Instead of calling I drove to the office at the subdivision and explained that the check to cover my down payment has been deposited but that he’ll have to wait until it clears.

He didn’t seem concerned. He informed me that work on the house should be completed in three weeks if not sooner. I thanked him and drove to Jan’s house.

I rang the bell. Dani let me in and said, “Andrea isn’t back yet. The usual suspects are out back.”

I’m not surprised to see Dani naked. I’m more surprised that after just a short time with these people I took it in stride. That isn’t to say I’m blasé about it. She has a very sexy body and my body likes her body, a lot. But I’m no longer embarrassed by all the naked females I run into here.

On my way through the house to the patio I ran into Mr. Grant, one of the Senior VPs from J.A.M. He and Mouse were just coming downstairs. He smiled and said hello and goodbye.

Then Mouse, totally at ease with the fact that she’s just coming down from having sex with Mr. Grant, took my arm and smiled as we walked out to the back deck.

Jan and a woman I haven’t seen before are making love to each other on a cushion in a quiet corner near the fence. Chaz, Helen, Carol and Kat are sitting at the large table in the shade of the awning where everyone always seems to gather.

In answer to their questions I told them I received a message from Andrea, or Andi as everyone has started calling her. She finished the tests they scheduled for her and they asked her to take a few more. She didn’t know what tests or why but judging from the tone of her voice she’s nervous about it.

While I was telling them what little I know of Andrea’s day, Jan and her guest came over to join us. I was introduced to Laura Newman. Her husband is Bryan Newman, another of the Senior VPs.

She’s already dressed. She can’t stay but she joined us at the table for a few minutes. She told me she’s very disappointed. She has heard a lot about Andi and has been looking forward to meeting her.

I’m not sure who started calling her by a boy’s name. I think I only heard it for the first time yesterday. And I’m not sure how I feel about it. Andrea thinks it’s kind of cute. For most of her life her only nicknames were bitch or cunt. When I asked her about it she said she has never been that fond of her name. She said it sounds much too sophisticated for her, too pretentious. She likes having a nickname given to her by her friends.

I guess I’ll adjust. It would probably be easier for me if they chose something that sounded more like a girl’s name.

I told everyone our house is scheduled to be completed in three weeks. Jan said she’ll let the decorator, Mike Morris, know. She suggested that if we were to go through the house with him and let him get a feel for our tastes in furniture he could have all the furniture on hand when the house is finished and could probably finish in a few days. He won’t have to have his people paint or wallpaper since we bought the house early enough in construction to make our choices known to the contractor.

That made sense. I also told them I’m starting work next Monday. I sighed loudly and said, “I’m almost sorry I took the job. I like being the only rooster in the henhouse.”

Mouse laughed and said, “We don’t doubt that. But if you didn’t work at J.A.M. you wouldn’t have a key to the henhouse.”

Laura left, though I got the impression she really didn’t want to. After she went inside I asked, “She didn’t leave because of me did she?”

Jan laughed good naturedly and replied, “You aren’t that important yet!”

I laughed, taking it in the spirit it was intended. She added, “No. Laura fills her days with a couple of Boards she’s on. She has a meeting in half an hour.”

We had a late lunch of BLTs and then sat around and gossiped most of the afternoon. I asked if they objected to my presence. I could understand if they do. I don’t want to intrude and I’ve been spending a lot of time here lately.

Jan got up and sat in my lap. She put her arm around my neck and said, “My girlfriends and I love each other. But we get all of the female companionship we can stand. It’s nice having a man around so we have someone to drive crazy. If you really want to see us happy, come by when the pool man is here.”

Jan is a hugger. I noticed that about her right from the beginning. Huggers usually make me uncomfortable. But not Jan. You can’t help but want to hug her right back. She’s just so damned adorable!

I sat with the ladies and occasionally took part in their banter but I’m preoccupied. I’m becoming increasingly concerned about Andrea. I don’t understand what the additional testing is all about and I’m worried about her driving in city traffic, especially as it’s starting to get into rush hour. She isn’t that comfortable behind the wheel yet and she’s still driving on a counterfeit license.

Andrea finally returned a few minutes after four. She looks exhausted. She also looks very upset.

I got up and took her in my arms. She threw her arms around me and loudly exclaimed, “SON OF A BITCH!”

I led her back to my seat and pulled her into my lap.

Helen got up and said, “There’s a girl who needs a glass of my special iced tea. Don’t say a word until I get back. I want to hear what happened.”

Dani asked if she ate anything today.

She shook her head but said, “No. But I’m not hungry now. Thanks.”

Dani went to the kitchen with Helen to help out. They were back in five minutes with a large pitcher of Long Island iced tea and a tray full of glasses. Dani made a sandwich for Andi and told her she had to eat it or else.

We all had a few sips of our drinks. Then Jan exclaimed, “Come on, Andi! The suspense is killing us!”

Andi (I give up. I guess her name is Andi now) sighed. She seems embarrassed. I get the impression she’s uncomfortable talking about what happened to her today. After a long pause she finally said, “There were about a dozen of us being tested. I don’t know why the others were there. We never had a chance to talk. We took a battery of tests and at first I was relieved because they seemed so easy. But then I started getting nervous. They were just too easy. I started to worry about whether I was doing something wrong or I was taking the wrong tests.

“They gave us six hours to take the tests. I finished in just over an hour. I held up my hand and told them I was finished. You would have thought I was tearing off my clothes and screaming obscenities from their expressions.

“The female proctor got up and came to my desk. She looked through my answer sheets for a few seconds and then took them to the front of the room. She went over them with the male proctor and he left the room. He came back a few minutes later with the answers. He went over my answers for ten or fifteen minutes and scored the tests I took. They whispered to each other for a few minutes and then I had to go to an office with the woman and take off all of my clothes. She looked in my ears. She went through my purse and searched my clothing. Then she let me get dressed again.

“She apologized. Then she explained that no one has ever taken the test so quickly before. And no one has ever gotten every answer correct before. She took me back to the testing room and the man talked to me in the hallway. He asked me if I would take a couple more tests.

“I asked him if I did something wrong. I was scared shitless. He finally smiled and said, ‘On the contrary! You’ve done everything right!’”

Brad, Gregg, and Mo came in quietly while she was talking. They nodded to us but didn’t speak. They pulled up chairs and sat quietly to listen.

Andi continued, “We went to another office and I spent most of the next five hours taking one test after another. He was grading them as fast as I could take them. When I was finally finished he made a few phone calls from an adjoining office. While we waited for the people he called to arrive he explained that I have the highest IQ he has ever encountered. I tested at two hundred and fifteen. I don’t know anything about IQ scores or what that means. Apparently I’m smarter than I look.

“The people he called finally arrived. I don’t know who they all were. They were heads of departments and deans and counselors. I sat there while the proctor showed everyone my test results. Everyone looked stunned. It was scary as hell.

“They talked quietly for a few minutes and then the dean turned to me and said, ‘Young lady, while I would dearly love to have you in this school, allowing you to matriculate here would be doing you a terrible disservice. You belong in a technical school like M.I.T. You belong in a school that can challenge you and prepare you.’”

Her impression of the dean was pretty amusing.

“I almost screamed ‘FUCK!!’ right in his face. It sounded like he was trying to get rid of me! But I forced myself not to cry and I made myself calm down. I took a few deep breaths and explained that what I need is an education. I’m not sure they believed me when I told them I only have a fifth-grade education. I told them I just want a good liberal arts education. I want to fill in all the gaps. I don’t want to be a scientist or a doctor. I just want to know the things everyone else knows!”