Epilogue

The groom and best man stood, waiting at the end of aisle, dressed identically. They weren't wearing the traditional tuxedos, though. Instead, the casual observer might have assumed they were actors in a gangster movie from the thirties. They wore the pinstriped suits, with wide lapelled jackets, of that time period. But they must have been gentlemen gangsters, because they were wearing top hats instead of fedoras.

Even though the chapel was in the middle of a bustling city, it was relatively quiet in the cool interior. It didn't stay that way once the ceremony actually started, though. It seemed somewhat odd that the signal that started it was not organ music. Instead, it was the whirring motor sounds of an electric garage door opener.

A 1964 Cadillac convertible, painted so pink that you'd expect to see a real life Barbie in it, nosed into the chapel and inched down the wide main aisle. The driver was singing "Rock A Hula Baby" at the top of his lungs, in a very credible imitation of The King's long vanished voice.

He could have been any man, riding along, singing a song, but for three somewhat jarring things.

First, he not only sounded like The King, but he looked like Elvis too, in his white jump suit, covered in rhinestones and embroidery, with the signature high collar.

A native of Las Vegas normally wouldn't have given him a second look, to be honest. There were a lot of Elvis impersonators in Sin City. They would have looked twice at this one, though, because he had a little boy, wearing a top hat, standing on his lap, "driving" the car down the aisle. For some reason, this little boy felt compelled to yell "TOOT TOOT!" as he delivered his mother to her groom. This little boy might have been mistaken for Elvis' son, because he was also wearing a rhinestone studded Elvis outfit.

The locals WOULD have looked twice at the bride, standing on the floor of the passenger side of the convertible. She was wearing a white buckskin shirt that dipped low between her breasts and wrapped around her sides but left her back bare. A complex array of thin leather straps kept it on her, but didn't obscure the large tattoo on her back of a very naked Mother Nature. It was sleeveless, and left bare the fiery tattoo on her right shoulder as well. Below that, her hips were encased in a red pleated miniskirt which barely covered the tops of black fishnet thigh high stockings. Her top hat matched that of the ones worn by the groom, best man and "driver," except that hers was bright red and covered with crushed velvet. Blood red Converse high tops could be seen on her feet as she stepped out of the caddy, holding a posy bouquet containing three red roses. She tugged gently at her miniskirt and waited for Elvis to unburden himself and escort her to her groom.

Ambrose hopped out of the car on the passenger side, landing on both feet with a thump and yelled, "YAY!" He held a teddy bear in his arms, also dressed as Elvis. Someone had fashioned a top hat for it as well.

Elvis formally offered his elbow to Lulu, who smiled at him and took it, walking beside him the last few feet it took to get to the rest of the wedding party. She thanked him and turned to hand her bouquet to Jessica, who was dressed in an outfit similar to the bride's, but in reversed colors. Her top was red, her miniskirt was white, and her dark legs set off the white of her fishnet stockings. Her top hat was black, like the men's, but was covered in crushed velvet like Lulu's. She took the bouquet and kissed her friend on the cheek.

The wedding was taking place in the Doo Wop Diner, a unique replica of a diner from the 1950s. A Wurlitzer juke box whirred to life, playing soft background music as Elvis gave Lulu's hand to Kris and took his place to officiate their wedding, which was being beamed out to the world live on the internet.

As bizarre as the visuals were, the ceremony itself was remarkably traditional. Elvis took the rings and described them as symbols of the love shared between Lulu and Kris, an unbroken circle made of precious metal that called to mind the precious nature of that love.

Their vows were simple and unique to their relationship. The bride went first.

"I promise to love you always, even when I'm mad at you, and spank you when you need it."

Kris grinned and took his turn.

"And I promise to love you always, even when you're mad at me, and spank you when you want it."

Elvis pronounced them married and began singing "Rags To Riches" while the couple kissed. They kissed for the entire song.

The best man and maid of honor decided to kiss too. Ambrose covered his eyes.

Twelve poses later, and with VHS video of their wedding in hand, Elvis delivered his signature "Thank you verruh much," and kissed the bride himself. He tried for just a little tongue, but got a stiff finger in his ribs instead. He'd just have to be satisfied with the $375.00 they had paid for the "Teddy Bear Wedding Package," the extra $150.00 for the use of the caddy, and another $130.00 for a single tier cake that would serve twenty.

"What now?" asked Mitch, leaning back in the limo that had delivered them to the wedding chapel and was taking them back to the hotel. Jessica was still wiping tears from her eyes. Mitch licked frosting from his finger, where he'd dug it into the cake he was carrying on his lap.

"I can't believe I'm married," said Lulu, an almost tremor in her voice.

"I have my hooks in you now, missy!" said Kris triumphantly. He made a claw of his hand and tried to put a leer on his face.

"I LIKE weddings!" said Ambrose, jumping up and down. Jessica reached out and snagged him, hugging him and kissing his cheeks.

"Me too!" she said, just as excitedly.

"Are you going to get married too?" asked Ambrose, squirming. "Can I drive?"

"Not today," laughed Jess.

"You could marry Mitch!" squealed Ambrose. He got still and cupped his hands around his mouth, putting them up to Jessica's ear. "He's a policeman!" he whispered, loudly enough for everyone in the back of the limo to hear.

"He IS?!" Jessica sounded shocked. "What should I do?"

"You have to be reeeeeally good," said Ambrose sagely. "Then he won't rest you."

"Ooooo," moaned Jess. "What happens when they rest you?"

"You have to take a NAP!" groaned the little boy, rolling his eyes.

"I'm going to have Mitch rest YOU!" said Lulu, reaching out to tickle him. "You need a nap."

"No!" said Ambrose. "I'm all wide awake! I'm hungry, too!"

"That's what's next," said Mitch. "Dinner!"

As hard as Ambrose tried to stay alert, the day's activities got to him during supper. He leaned against Jessica, who put her arm around him.

"Want to have a sleepover in our room tonight?" she asked.

"What's a sleepover?" he asked, looking up at her.

"That's where you spend the night in our room. I'll read to you."

"I can read," said the boy somewhat defensively.

"I'll let you stay up late," she bribed.

"OK!" he said, with a resurgence of energy. He turned to his mother. "Will you be OK if I'm not there?"

Lulu smiled. "I'll be OK," she said.

"I've never made love to a married woman," panted Kris, lunging hard into Lulu. "I kind of like this."

"I've never made love with an old married geezer either," said Lulu, humping her loins up at him. "You're not doing too bad. Do you need to take a break? I wouldn't want you to have a heart attack or something."

He stopped suddenly and started rubbing.

"I'm not stopping until you've had ten orgasms," he growled.

"Make me pregnant," she whispered, grinning.

"That won't work this time," he warned. He grinned as he felt her pussy muscles flutter around his cock. She didn't say anything, but bit her lip and squeezed her eyes closed.

"That's one," he said.

In the two-room suite next door, reserved for the best man and maid of honor, the babysitting was taken seriously. Games had been packed for this very purpose, but Ambrose fell asleep halfway through Chutes and Ladders. Mitch picked him up and put him to bed. When he came back, Jessica was standing hipshot, in her naughty nurse outfit.

"Did somebody call nine-one-one?" she asked.

Mitch clutched his chest.

"I'm having pains," he said. "I need an exam."

"Take off all your clothes and sit down there." She pointed at the bed.

As he disrobed, she turned to her suitcase and pulled out a stethoscope. She turned around to find him lying down on the bed, his erection straining up in the air.

"Oh my," she said. "You have some swelling issues, I see."

"Can you help me?" he moaned.

"We'll see," she said.

She made him spread his legs and bend his knees. She hefted his testicles and applied the stethoscope to them.

"That's cold!" he complained.

She opened her mouth and breathed out on his balls, instead of the stethoscope, and then put it back.

"Hmmmmm," she hummed.

"Will I live?" he asked, grinning.

"There are lots of little voices in there, all yelling, 'Let me out! Let me out!'" she murmured. "I'm afraid you have a case of lackanookie."

"Oh no," he moaned. "Please help me."

"I have to take your temperature first," she said, tossing the stethoscope aside. She lowered her face toward his stiff shaft. "I can take it orally..." She opened her mouth and sucked in half of his prick. He moaned. She pulled off. "Or I can take it rectally."

Mitch watched in something like horror as she stuck her index finger in her mouth to get it wet.

"No!" he whined.

"Be brave," she said, grinning.

His unbelieving eyes watched as she moved her hand under his balls. He felt the tip of her fingernail tickle his tightly closed sphincter. He didn't believe she'd do it.

She did.

His yelp as her finger invaded him turned to a groan as her mouth sucked him in again. The combination of sensations was like nothing he'd ever felt before. Part of him wanted to wiggle his way loose and berate her for her perversion. Another part of him decided to make him cum instead. He was suddenly spraying in her mouth, and it was like no orgasm he'd ever had in his life.