Chapter 1

Oh, God, I still get butterfly flutters inside just looking at her. Stunning, Cynthia walked in with a large man and joined a group at a nearby booth. He was big, but not beefy or obese. When Cynthia walked, everyone listened — with their eyes. We exchanged nods and then she gave me this beaming smile. The flutterers in my belly were now flapping madly. A campus queen — caught up in the swirl of dances and sorority events, but she was not quite a fit. Tall, shapely, smooth, wise, and bright as hell.

Tonight, she dressed to kill. Short tight black skirt, patterned silk blouse with full sleeves, cleavage, and her long brown hair wrapped her face in an ideal border. Her black three-inch sandals provided a sculptor's pedestal for her legs. I'm sure the runway model clothing designers would have thought her top heavy in that blouse, but she looked just right for me. Sat next to me in Geology lab before I went to Afghanistan — and she is still here, I thought. As my main sex fantasy object, she got me through many cold nights in the mountains, if you get my drift — doing elbow exercises and yearning for her.

It was Thursday, before spring break, as we partied at Louie's. Louie (his real name) served heavy cheap food — it kept us sober longer. The noisy crowd interfered with the band trying to play to everyone. Four or five sat in our booth, depending, but I didn't hear much of the conversation. I danced with one of the girls in our booth a few times, but I was still lost in my thoughts about how Cynthia had wrecked my life.

Since I had known her, she had elevated my tastes in women. I'd had important girl friends after I met her, but none of them quite met the "Cynthia Standard." No one equaled her charm, or her looks, and she was sharp, witty, and had an enthusiasm for life. I managed my share of hookups lasting a night or a few, but all of these invidious comparisons I made with other women diminished my chances for a serious relationship, of which I had only one.

All of that, and I had never had even a Cynthia date. Coffee many times after lab, but never a real date. We enjoyed the conversation and talked at length about many issues not related to Geology. We shared some musical tastes, liked film and the theater, and enjoyed the stimulation of the campus. Since I took pleasure in her company and her presence, I berated myself for never inviting her out. At least, if she'd refused, I would feel better. Now, I was older and I was determined to rectify my prior mistakes. I heard the waitress ask, "You okay? You look like you might have had a little too much."

"No. Not yet. I was thinking about somebody."

"You seemed to be in space. If you're okay, do you want another beer?"

"Yeah. That'd be good." I couldn't get my eyes off Cynthia and I think she might have caught me staring a couple of times. I'm not even sure when the waitress brought the beer. Even in combat, I don't think I was ever so unnerved.

Cynthia danced with the guys in her booth and seemed to pay particular attention to the one next to her. I suppose he was her date, but I didn't know him. The other guy, Bill Crawford, was someone I had known from a class and we'd talked and played cards now and then. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, although I saw Cynthia looking troubled a couple of times. My sharp memories of her in class and at the coffee bar paled beside the real person here tonight. Although I had faced tough situations in the military, I was not prepared to be this nervous.

Sometime later, I saw her return to her booth chatting with the other woman — I guessed coming together from the ladies room, and they sat alone. Her hair looked better and she had freshened her face. In my daydreams, I started out kissing her full pouty mouth and things got better and better. What's the game plan? Drinks give courage to the timid. No man immediately claimed her. Now's the time to move in. I quickly asked her to dance. She smiled and looked directly in my eyes. "I'd love to, Bradford. Where have you been?"

Charm school 101.

"In Afghanistan doing Boy Scout duty."

"My God, it's been more than a year. I wondered why I didn't see you after Geology."

"Well, Pete and I went on active duty for about fourteen months. I've been back only this term.

The band played slow dancing tunes. She had to remember you to wonder about you. OK, you've rehearsed this mission. Do you have the guts? I looked down and said, "Cynthia, you look gorgeous again tonight. Forgive my staring. I had the same problem in Geology and I thought of you many cold nights in the mountains."

Her smile seemed genuine. "Thought of me? Thank you, a girl likes to hear that. Geology made us work. I think being at your lab table helped get my A, and listening to you and Pete talk about the Navy kept me on edge. I have never known a hired killer before."

She did listen! Do it now.

Our eyes were locked on each other and I was about to sink right into them. I had to try it. So, keeping our eyes engaged, I moved my mouth slowly to hers and kissed her full, pouty red mouth. She put her hand on the back of my neck and held it for several seconds; she appeared dazed as she pulled back. Then, raised her eyebrow, grinned and put her head on my shoulder.

Did she really kiss back?

At the end of the first dance, I kept her hand. "Let's see what's playing next. Okay?" Say something nice. As we danced the third piece, I whispered, "Cynthia, I wanted to kiss you the first day I saw you in class. I hope you weren't offended."

She interlaced our fingers and squeezed, tossed her long brown hair, and looked at me warmly. "Not offended, Bradford, just delightfully shocked. Took you a while to get to it, though."

What did she say?

We continued dancing close and I thought I felt her hand rub up and down my back. At the end of the song, she looked at me with her head cocked. "I have to be getting back now. Blair will wonder."

I could swear that I saw a tear as she moved away and I returned her to her table.

Much later, as her party left, she walked by my booth and melted me with another smile as her eyes engaged mine like an infrared missile on a heat source. I could barely watch her well-formed ass twitch all the way out. I felt elated that she responded to the kiss and stayed close afterwards. Now, I was in deep trouble. My desire for her had just been squared by her last smile. I didn't know whether to stay and dance a few more times or go home and mope.

I stayed for another beer and danced with another potential, but I was too focused on Cynthia to enjoy it much. I excused myself and left for home. When I walked in, I saw the answering machine flashing. I didn't often give out my cell number so when people wanted me they could leave messages. Bill Crawford left an urgent message. He had been at Cynthia's table.

I'm in a bind here, Bradford, because of Blair, but Cynthia and I go back to third grade. She wants you to call her, 541-4515, repeat 541-4515. Please, protect me on this. Scout's Honor? I had to call you because she asked me, but Blair would never understand.

Everyone teased me about being an Eagle Scout until I became a SEAL. That's why she called me a 'hired killer.'

Cynthia

When I saw Bradford sitting in that booth, I felt uncomfortable and nervous. I was sitting with Blair, my husband of eight months, and feeling guilty. I did everything I knew how to get Bradford to take me out except ask him and he didn't. He showed interest and we had long personal conversations over coffee after class. My discomfort was caused simply by the effect that seeing him had on me. Other than a farewell hug at the end of the term, he'd never touched me and I always wanted him to.

I noticed that he looked at me several times and each time I caught him, it gave me a minor thrill. Actually, it made me feel like I was in middle school smiling at a boy across the room. I was under control until he asked me to dance. I didn't think my husband would get jealous over my dancing with a classmate that I hadn't seen for many months. When he took my hand to lead me to the floor, I felt a sense of joy that I had missed for such a long time. My marriage wasn't working for me, so I cherished Bradford's touch more than I should.

As we danced, I couldn't keep my eyes away from his, as the energy seemed to flow in both directions. Suddenly his face moved closer to me and I realized that he was going to kiss me. I barely had time to get my mouth open. While the kiss lingered, I put my hand around his neck and pulled him to me. This was not going to be a one-way kiss. When he pulled away, he made some kind of apology hoping that he hadn't offended me. I had to make a quick response to let him know that I welcomed the kiss, even if it took him years to get around to it. I floated through the rest of the dance. Savoring the intimacy we shared, I danced closer than before as I felt the thrill of warm moisture.

He returned me to the booth after I told him that my date might wonder. I did not tell him that I was married. Yes, your "date" would wonder — a lot. My God, I hoped Blair hadn't seen the kiss. Later, Blair went off to talk to some of his friends and left Bill Crawford and me sitting alone for just a few minutes. I'd known Crawford almost all my life. "Bill, would you call Bradford and tell him to call me? He was in my geology class and has been away in Afghanistan. I'd like to catch up with him." I grasped his hand and asked, "Just between us?"

He replied with a chuckle, "We've known each other far too long to start telling secrets." He squeezed my hand back and smiled. "I take it you enjoyed the dance — and the kiss."

I said tersely, "I've only wanted him to do that since the first day I met him. Now, the bastard kisses me after I'm married. Life would have been different if he'd only taken the hint in geology."

"My silence has one condition. I want to hear the juicy details of the — uhmm — conversation."

"You breathe a word and I'll tell your mother on you. Even as old as you are, you wouldn't want her to know the nasty particulars about your party at the cabin when they were out of town."

"My lips are sealed, just as yours should be until you work things out with Blair."

Crawford was right, of course. However, in my heart, I knew that, given the chance, I would ignore his advice.

Bradford

Next morning, I counted the minutes until ten and my hand shook visibly as I punched in her number. I almost gasped when she picked up. "Cynthia? Bradford, and I..."

She sounded happy. "Bradford. You kissed me sweetly on the dance floor and then just abandoned me," in her best Scarlett O'Hara drawl.

"You had a date."

She sounded happy. "You're being too literal. That was yesterday."

I finally mumbled, "Today?"

"I need an hour," she replied.

"I will come for you in an hour."

"Not here. I have a silver Lexus and I will park in the West Mall by the theaters. Park beside me."

"I'm in a blue Ford pickup."

What is going on with her? She has always been aloof. What the hell? Hurry up. I had barely an hour to get presentable. I had to shave with my still shaking hands. OK, Boy Scout, better get this room shipshape, too.

I found her car easily in the parking lot and pulled in beside her. She quickly climbed up into the cab. "Take me away." Another stunning smile. She listened to the stereo. "That's Norah Jones." She looked out the rear window enough times that she could have just pulled a bank job. She finally must have convinced herself that the bad guys weren't following and I saw her shoulders relax.

As I drove to an obscure space at Boomer Lake, she started, "God, I almost got caught last night. Crawford saved my ass. He saw what you did and blocked Blair's view."

"Sorry. No, I'm not sorry. I loved every second of it." I unsnapped her seatbelt. "Can you sit over here?"

She moved effortlessly and held our second kiss much longer than the first. I whispered, "I really wanted that. You invaded my dreams all night."

She seemed almost giddy or anxious. Her voice didn't have the normal smooth inflections. "No one ever shocked me so pleasantly on the first dance. I certainly didn't expect that. I was bewildered. You danced through my mind, too."

"I had no idea that you would meet me. How long will I have you?"

She chattered, almost breathlessly. "I know. I am always involved. I did drop a hint or two in Geology and sat next to you on purpose, but I don't know what I would have done if you had come on to me, but I wanted you to. Every time we had those long conversations, I felt like I knew you. I guess I should have invited you to something, but I didn't think I should. I have to be back at four." After her nervous chatter, she took a deep breath.

I turned her shoulders so that she faced me. "How late we learn what's important. I thought we sat alphabetical. Oh, well. I don't want to miss a minute of you now."

She smiled and opened her wet red lips again. As our tongues explored, I held her tightly. Some girls like that. She touched my face and moved her hand through my short hair and around my ears, giving me shivers. She pulled me closer with surprisingly strong arms. She pulled her head away.

"Bradford, I don't know what I'm doing here, but I like it. This is so unlike my normal self."

"I like both of you. You're here because we're catching up."

"That's a good reason." She put her mouth back where it belonged and we tongue-wrestled as we clutched.

She pulled back again and still seemed slightly uncomfortable. I guess she had an issue, but I would wait for her to tell me if she chose. All the time she kept her hands on my face and neck in intimate caresses. She smiled, and said, "Hi, again. I'm glad you're back from the war. I didn't even know enough to worry about you."

"I didn't say anything since summer was beginning and I had no idea how long I would be gone. The government keeps changing its mind about how long the tours are." I decided to follow her lead and run my fingers over her face and neck mirroring what she was doing to me. I had learned that often women would do to you what they want done to them. She nuzzled her face into my hand and parted her lips slightly.

I resumed intimate kissing and muttering for at least a half-hour; I sensed her breathing becoming shallower and faster. The windows fogged. My fingers dared stroke a nipple through her blouse. She approved, "Ummmm."

That was right. I'm sure she could feel my advanced state of excitement poking her in the side. Her hips were moving slightly. "Ummm," again.

So far, she likes everything. Go for the skin. I unbuttoned her blouse, moved the bra, and pinched the bare nipple. I nibbled her ear and whispered, "Can we go to my house and look at some fossils?"

She looked at the clock. "Get serious, Bradford. Not today. My time is too tight. Besides that, a lady just can't go to your place on the first date," she teased, almost blushing in her Scarlett voice.

I continued on her nipple as our tongues explored. I knew she was getting there when her back stiffened. Then, a loud "Uhhhhh, uhhhhh, God, uhhhh," and hugged me tightly.

"Just divine. Bradford, you can never know how good that feels."

I pinched her nipple. "I know. I don't have nice ones like you do. Again?"

"Mmmmm."

She came three or four times in that position. I wanted her savagely. Finally, she whispered, "I have to stop," then buttoned her blouse, and moved close to me.

In my advanced state of raw desire, I whined, "You really have to go now?"

"I must." She reached for my zipper. "May I?"

I nodded with my mouth agape. She struggled getting my erection out through my jeans and briefs, which caused only moderate pain. Her hands teased me as she moved them around. She squeezed the head and rotated her hand around lightly, then with more pressure. Perfect. She knew how to create powerful tension. No standard pumping up and down hurriedly; just teasing sensual touches. She licked her finger and rubbed it gently on my hot spot. She put her tongue in my mouth and kept the kiss. She knew that I couldn't last. Leaning back, she smiled at her triumph as I grabbed paper towels from the door pocket to catch the spurts from my massive orgasm.

She wiped her hands and carefully cleaned me before putting me away. "I couldn't leave you like that, Bradford. You restored my hope today." This time, Scarlett was not in her voice. Then, grinning Scarlett teased me with double entendre. "Why didn't you come with me here when we were in Geology?"

"You always had a man."

"Didn't bother you last night."

Even I finally got the message. Back at the mall I kissed her until she pushed me away and opened the door. "Will you call me, Cynthia?" She looked troubled, shook her head, and then slipped in her car and drove away.

What do I do now? It hasn't been twenty-four hours since I pulled that stunt on the dance floor. What kind of situation is she in? Do I keep my phone on all the time? What if I miss her call? Calm down. You're not in charge here. I had no inkling about what to do next.

After doing my email and some lousy work on a paper, I went to Louie's to hang out. A while became midnight. I danced a few times, but I didn't find what I wanted. I felt miserable. I could feel her hands on me and taste her luscious mouth. Happiness was not at home either. I couldn't concentrate on the computer game and lost badly. Stories on the Internet bored me. I went to bed. Bliss was not there, either, but I got myself off by seeing and feeling her naked breast and remembering her hands during the Friday matinee. I no longer had to imagine her every move. As I pondered our lake encounter, I believed that she would exceed the 'Cynthia Standard.' I wanted her badly, right now more than ever. We didn't even take the time to have our normal conversation. I missed that, too.

Although I slept fitfully, the phone brought me out. "Charles Bradford, are you alone?"

"Morning, Cynthia."

"I was pondering yesterday."

"I haven't thought about anything else."

She breathed heavily. "I'm glad, but it frightens me."

"I will come for you, or you can come here for breakfast."

"I was hoping for that. I can't go public with you right now. Give me an hour. I, uh, mapped your house from the University directory."