Chapter 5: Meeting Charlie

I hadn't made any plans for my birthday, but Dad and Mom surprised me that morning with a very unexpected gift, a car. It was small, a four-cylinder two-door Chevy, but it was mine. Dad said it was my reward for pulling down good grades in spite of the turmoil at school. He also warned me not to go anywhere by myself, especially away from the public eye.

My relationship with Tammy had grown very close; we were almost like sisters. We both felt that our "One True Love" was waiting out there somewhere, but we became pillow-pals, sleeping in each other's arms and enjoying uninhibited sex at every opportunity.

Early in June, I slept over at her house, just the two of us, and she gave me an introduction to oral sex. I didn't need too much coaching — I did enjoy what I was doing — and with her coaxing and directing me with her hands, I gave her a few orgasms. I have to say she didn't taste that much different from me, either. I think what I enjoyed the most was the skin-to-skin cuddling and touching afterward.

I found a job at a small shop in the mall, The Prairie Peddler, where I worked from three in the afternoon till close three days a week. Dad took a part-time job with Davis Brothers Demolition in Chicago, which meant he was gone a few days at a time. I spent more time at home when he was gone, both to help Mom and keep her company; I didn't know of too many kids whose mothers were their best friends.

Early in July, Christine dropped by my house and invited Tammy and me out for the night. I'd been out for an evening of dancing before, with Tammy alone or with members of the club, and Christine had promised it'd be a lot of fun.

I knew there would be alcohol available, because every kid in school had an older brother or sister who bought a six-pack of beer or a case of wine coolers for them. It was how they learned to drink responsibly. There isn't much to do in the evening hours here in Bismarck if you don't go to church suppers or the Bingo parlor. There is no skating rink, no teen club, and no place to just hang out and talk or play video games. There is the mall, but it closes at nine.

My mother trusted me enough to provide a little wine when I was at home, and Brenda did the same for Tammy at her house, so the booze wasn't an issue, but our safety was. After several cautions about being alone, I received permission to go.

The three of us started out at Pheasant Run, a large sports bar and restaurant on Main Street. It was a Wednesday and the crowd was thinner than normal, but I imagined I saw several same-sex couples chatting or playing pool. Most had come directly from work, so almost everyone was dressed nicely. We weren't drinking alcohol, so as long as we stayed out of the bar area we were not asked for ID.

After an hour or so, we walked down a few blocks and entered Sulli's Place, a known gay and lesbian bar. There was no cover charge at the door — no band was playing that night — and we managed to slip into the back room without being noticed. Christine ordered beers when the waitress came by, and Tammy and I stood to dance.

The crowd was mostly women and quiet, dancing or softly talking at their tables. There were a few couches in the dimly lit room, and I noticed a few couples in the first stages of seduction — a soft touch or a brushing of lips, but nothing really overt.

My stomach tightened up a little at the thought of kissing Tammy here; to her this was normal, but I was nervous. In spite of my anxiety, when Tammy raised my chin with her finger and planted a soft, gentle kiss on my lips, I returned it with ease.

When Christine returned with our second beers of the night, she had someone following her.

"Tammy, Hannah, this is Charlotte Sullivan, my cousin. Her friends call her Charli."

Charli was a vision in black, dressed in an ankle length skirt and a short jacket. Her filmy blouse was also black, and I couldn't see any evidence of a bra. Her smile lit up the dark space like moonlight on a deserted beach, and I was numb.

I stared as she sat down at our table and talked with Christine about old times. Right here in front of me was the woman I'd been looking for. She was tall, slender without being skinny, and possessed of an inner calm and confidence I'd never witnessed before. She had short, dark brown hair, eyes of liquid chocolate, full lips on a wide mouth — lightly glossed in pale pink — and a dazzling smile. I could only nod when she asked me to dance.

I trembled when she put her arms around me on the dance floor; I was so afraid of making a mistake that wouldn't be forgiven. Thankfully, the song was slow and she led me beautifully, otherwise I think I would've stumbled. When it was over, she took my hand and walked to the jukebox in the corner.

She glanced at the songs available and said, "Why are you so nervous?"

"My first time," I managed.

She chuckled, a deep throaty laugh. "Your first time here, or the first time dancing with a woman?"

"Here," I choked out.

She put her arm around my waist, dropped a few quarters into my hand and said, "Relax and pick something nice to dance to. I like holding you close."

Without thinking, I chose Roberta Flack's The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face. It was an old song but one I'd listened to many times, thinking of such a moment.

We sat out the two songs that preceded it, but when it started to play Charli pulled me up and wrapped me in her arms. My doubts raged in my mind; my thoughts were running so fast that none were coherent. Was she just being nice, or did frumpy me have a chance at love? I carried a few extra pounds on my frame from eating well; did she like pudgy girls? Did she have a lover already? Where does she live?

Like I said, the thoughts and images were frantic and unconnected, until she held me at arm's length and said, "Relax ... you're making me nervous."

I tried to blank my mind and concentrate on dancing and the feel of her body next to mine. I'd been right, she hadn't worn a bra, and the slight movement of her breasts against mine as we danced tightened my nipples. Her scent — female musk with an overlay of something apple-like — assaulted my nose as we shuffled slowly around the floor. I was conscious of her hands on my hips, just above my bottom, and her breath on my hair. I tingled inside and my clit thrummed with excitement. I knew my panties were damp.

The song ended and she leaned down to kiss my cheek. I turned my head just enough to catch the corner of her mouth and held her tightly against me for a few seconds.

She stepped away, still holding my arms, and looked me in the eye. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "I am now."

She giggled, took my hand and walked us back to the table.

Tammy and I danced the next one, and Christine and Charli sat at the table with their heads together. Were they discussing my strange behavior, perhaps, or shared memories of their childhood?

Even Tammy could tell I was shaking, and she asked, "What's gotten into you?"

I sighed and said, "Charli."

I got home just after midnight, and Mom was waiting up for me, dressed in her nightgown, drinking tea.

"How'd it go?" she asked.

I leaned against the door, exhausted from containing my emotions, and said, "I'm in LOVE!"

I gave Mom a replay of the evening, complete with my thoughts and doubts.

At the end, she asked, "How does she feel about you?"

"I have no idea," I replied.

The next night I called Christine at home and talked to her. After beating around the bush for several minutes, I asked about Charli. Christine said Charli lived in Fargo but was thinking of moving to Bismarck, and she was in the middle of a nasty divorce.

"Divorce?" I asked. "She was dancing with us last night! Please don't tell me she likes guys!"

Christine's voice lowered and she said, "She's here right now, staying with me for the weekend. Why don't you ask her yourself?"

"Don't hand her the phone!" I cried. "I'll die of embarrassment!"

"After last night, I think she knows you like her," Christine drawled.

"Yeah, maybe," I said, "but I don't know if she likes me... that way, I mean."