I can no longer keep the secret, and furthermore I don’t see any need to.

Since I was six years old, Roseanna was my neighbor. Our two families shared a duplex; Roseanna’s family rented from us.

When I was young, Roseanna’s mother, Estelle, used to babysit for me. In practice, this meant that I stayed frequently in their house, and Roseanna was my playmate.

Often I would just spend the night there when I was a child and my parents had been out late. Even then, I think I was in love with Roseanna.

When I was 10, there was a falling out between our families. I was no longer allowed to stay over at Roseanna’s place. Of course no one could stop us from playing together during the day.

I couldn’t figure out exactly what it was that caused the animosity. I suspected my dad and Estelle might have had an affair, because they were a little bit weird with each other after that.

My mother even wanted Roseanna’s family to move out, but my dad said that would be unfair. As long as they could pay the rent, they shouldn’t be thrown out of their home. My parents divorced and dad moved away a couple of years later.

My mother used to make nasty little comments about Roseanna and her mother. She tried to discourage me from playing with Roseanna, and I pretended to spend less time with her.

The reality was quite different.

There was a little door in my room that led to a loft over the veranda that ran the length of our two houses. Mine was nailed shut, but the one in Roseanna’s room opened. I pried the little door open to my room, so that Roseanna could sneak over to our house to watch TV with me in my room in the evening.

We were only 11 years old then, and we were completely innocent. But we would lie together in my little bed until late at night, and sometimes we would both fall asleep there.

When we were both 12, Roseanna’s father died. After that, she used to sleep with me most nights. We weren’t so young anymore that we didn’t know that it was naughty for boys and girls to sleep together. The thing was, Roseanna just couldn’t sleep in her own bed without having recurring nightmares. In my young arms, she could sleep fitfully.

This was not sexual. Not in the sense of having intercourse, in any case. Roseanna needed love, comfort, reassurance. Even though we were still children, we very well what we were doing, as well as what we weren’t doing. While we kept our clothes on, I wouldn’t say we were innocent; just that we were platonic. We knew no one would understand.

We talked, studied, watched movies, told each other our secrets and dreams. We were friends, best friends.

Our relationship became more and more secret. Although we attended the same school, Roseanna was Hispanic, and I a gringo. There was a racial divide in our town, and somehow, without saying much about it, Roseanna and I pretended to barely know each other during the day. Our parents seemed to be happy that we apparently were ignoring each other. Little did they know that their little girl and their little boy were secretly sharing a bed each night.

As the years passed, Roseanna’s breasts, and my penis, grew, our innocent affection gradually changed.

And yet, there was no sex, not in the sense of penetration or orgasm anyway. Just touch; affection, love.

Girls mature earlier than boys; Roseanna grew taller than me, and she had breasts before my voice broke.

“Isn’t that uncomfortable?” she asked, indicating the lump in my pants.

“Yeah, there isn’t much I can do about it though, it’s ok.”

“Maybe you should sleep naked.” She suggested.

I hesitated; I didn’t know why I was afraid; this was what every boy wanted. Anyway, at 15 years old, I stripped off and showed my erection to my girlfriend.

She stared at it and grinned, beckoning my closer. She took in in her hand, and I think we were both surprised.

“Oh wow.” She whispered as she squeezed in in her fist, “It’s so nice.”

I sat in bed propped up by pillows as she sat cross legged (still dressed) between my raised knees and played with it. “Does it feel good when I hold it?” she asked excitedly, her eyes bright.

“It’s the greatest feeling I’ve ever known.” I told her. “I’m not joking, it really is.”

“Do you think I should put it in my mouth?” she asked.

“Do you want to?” I answered hopefully.

“No, not really.” She said, “It’s just, my friends say that’s what girls are supposed to do.”

“Don’t, unless it’s what you want.” I said gallantly.

For the next several weeks, I lay in bed with her naked while she held my stiff cock in her hand until we slept.

“I know when you’re asleep because it gets small, REALLY small.” She told me with a laugh.

Roseanna was popular in school. She was queen of the Hispanic girls, always with a crowd around her, hanging on her every word.

I was the opposite; just a very average spotty introverted teenager who no one noticed, lurking in the corners as big good looking loud dumb guys strutted past like proud cocks in a farmyard, unaware that they’re actually useless.

The kids seemed to self-organize into opposing gangs. Even the girls. I didn’t get it at all; what was it even about? Why were we supposed to hate each other? I was pushed to the side (literally). No one was interested in my views, I wasn’t even on a school sport team.

In the sanctity of the bed we shared though, I was king.

Roseanna was fascinated with my penis, and I had my first orgasm in her hands.

We had been kissing and petting for a while before going to sleep each night, while Roseanna played with my “Willie”. She used to wind me up each night with this semi innocent play, and inevitably, one night she got me just a little bit too wound.

It scared the hell out of us both.

“You never jerked off?” she asked, “I thought all boys jerked off.”

“That was the first time for me.” I told her. “I feel better now, like it really needed to get out.”

Roseanna started to enjoy jerking me off, and she did it for me almost every night. It wasn’t her wonderful hands on my cock that I loved though; it was looking into her beautiful face while she did it. Seeing the way she enjoyed my pleasure. The love we shared.

When we were 15 I think, was the first time we had full, penetrative sex.

Roseanna and I were lying in bed, kissing. Roseanna had my cock out, and was fondling it, as she liked to do. I was caressing her crotch through her panties. I was naked; she was in her underwear, her new young breasts swelling her bra.

I sat up, and slowly removed her panties. She stared at me wide-eyed, but said nothing, did nothing to stop me. I put a forefinger to the inside of each of her knees, and she spread her legs wide at my touch. Keeping eye contact with her, I slowly lowered my face to her tender furry young groin. I reached out to her with my tongue, and made contact with her salty wet clit.

I remember being surprised at the taste. I didn’t particularly like it the first time, but I loved the way she jumped when I licked her there.

We always kept the TV on when we were together in my room, to mask the sound of our talking. That evening, for the first time, it masked the sound of more than talking.

Slowly at first, I tongued Roseanna’s slightly hairy groin. She gasped and grabbed my head in her hands.

“No Luke, NO!” she laughed, holding me right where she wanted me, between her long thin luscious thighs, until I brought her to her first orgasm.

We held each other tight, both naked for the first time.

“You’re hard again.” She noted as we fell asleep.

Not long after that, Roseanna licked my cock for the first time, and I thought I would die from the sheer pleasure. I begged her to put it in her mouth, and she did.

She squeezed my cock when I came, like she always did when she jerked me off, to keep from making a mess.

“Maybe I should, um, eat it.” She suggested.

“Yes, yes please.” I begged her, and she put it into her mouth again and relaxed her thumb to let it loose.

“Oh god, oh god!” I grunted as the 15 year old beauty sucked my teenage dick, “That’s so good, so good!”

“Really?” she asked, sitting up.

“Really.” I said, and kissed her, not realizing that she hadn’t swallowed. She pushed my semen into my own mouth and I had to swallow it, which was ok.

It became our thing; we were making love then, kissing and stroking every night, fondling and going down on each other, I fingered and licked her to orgasm and then she’d blow me; I’d hold out for as long as I could, then come in her mouth, and she’d hold it there for a short time, then take my face in her hands and kiss me, pushing it into my mouth.

I came to like it. I associated the taste of my semen with our lovemaking I guess.

Meanwhile, the social fabric in the high school was getting even worse; even the sports teams self-segregated, with the football team all gringos, the baseball all Hispanic. Basketball was still mixed at least. The authorities seemed completely oblivious; we were a middle class suburb, we didn’t have junkies on the streets, homeless camps, or race riots. Yet.

Gringos did not date Hispanics. Especially the super-hot girls, like Roseanna.

Roseanna was fascinated by my increasing cock size. She liked to measure it, she even started keeping a log of my log.