Chapter 12

Time went on and on and my mind was falling deeper and deeper in confusion. I was living in a continuous state of distress, always alert to jump to your call, but most of the time just working like a zombie. I tried to keep myself busy as much as I could, reacting like an automata to my work, trying to avoid thinking. I felt so strange.

I used to return home and sat on the table to draw for hours, until I got exhausted to the point of fall asleep as soon as I touched the bed. But I awaked many times in the middle of the night, half-dreaming about you and me ... I couldn't understand what I was doing with myself. I was totally enslaved, but voluntarily. You didn't threat me, but I couldn't go away, nor did I want to. I was falling in an increasing humiliation, becoming a prostitute for free. And I didn't like it. I really just wanted to please you, and I didn't mind if that meant to be abused by you or by anyone you told me to.

I thought many times that I was crazy and I planned to pack my things and get away, coming back to my parents home in Boston, may be shut me in a madhouse. But then I found me waiting anxious for the pager to beep. And whenever more than three or four days passed without you calling me, I began to be hopeless.

Such times it was a relief to hear the beep. I ran trough the city to any place, any hour, to submit to your desires. Most times you just waited for me at some bar and you limited yourself to fuck me in a nearby alley, discarding me as soon as you were satisfied, dirty and cum-spotted. And after that I could at least sleep better.

Generally, it was worst when you really had more time to spend. Several times you came to my home with one or two friends (many times I suspected that you had just known them, may be in a bar or so, may be picked them in the streets). You used to invade my home and the beer and whiskey that you had ordered me to always keep, while you made me suck your cocks and fucked me. Your favorite plan seemed to be to get two guys and seat to watch how I sucked one while the other one fucked my asshole.

Indeed, you normally encouraged them to skip my cunt right away and fuck my asshole. And they loved it. A slut for free that let them fuck her butt as hard as they wanted.

And then, from time to time, you disappeared for a week or more. And my anxiety began breaking my nerves. I never know if you had got tired, if you were ill, just busy. I didn't know anything. Nor I dared to ask you when you appeared again. Indeed, I was practically limiting to answer you if you told me something, and even you were talking less to me, limiting yourself to use me as a plastic doll. But I didn't cared. I preferred to be treated like that than to not knowing about you.

One day my pager beeped and the message instructed me to totally fill me fridge with beer, and wait at home that night, well dressed. I realized that you were coming with many people, and I tried to take calm and prepare myself for a long night. But I was happy to know that I would see you at least, after a few days missing you.

I went home early and I bought several packs of beer, more than the fridge capacity indeed, to have some backup. And then I dressed "well". I knew what do you meant with that. I picked black silk stockings with a garter belt, high heel shoes, a black leather miniskirt, a tight bra that pumped my little breast up, and a short blouse. I fixed up my hairs, made up myself with enough cosmetics, and picked a couple or big earrings that I knew you liked. Watching myself in the mirror, I saw how I was deteriorating. I used to look better in that sluttish outfit, but now I was looking more like an old hooker. I got very depressed, and I just hoped that you still liked me.

But when they knocked at the door and I opened, I couldn't find you. Instead, there was a group of young men coming in. Big kids, handsome; but almost teenagers. The first one greeted me saying that he was your nephew and that as he and his baseball team at the college had won a local championship, you had sent them with me to have a party.

I let them in, and they do, quite warily. I invited them to take seat, and server beer. They was looking at me with interest, but most of them seemed to be as shy as me, so they were almost quite, smiling at me and waiting without knowing very well what they have to do.

Then the phone rang. It was you, telling me, "Listen to me. They are really good boys, and they need some wild action, so I wanted you to show them how a real dirty cocksucker you are, alright? I want you to let them fill you with their cum everywhere they want, and even more: as they are gentlemen and don't treat with whores like you, you'll have to encourage them to go wild and do nasty things with you. I want my nephew and his friends to be really pleased. Have you understood?"

"I did", I answered. And you hung up. I closed my eyes and too a deep breath.

Then I returned to the center of the room and kneel between your nephew's legs, struggling to unzip his jeans, and I told them, "Come on, boys ... Let's have some fun".