Chapter 28: A New Beginning

Course 8 / Day 56: Course Progress Meeting

Participant Notes: Fifty

Jo: Fifty will complete her first course with us today. We can expect that she will need some level of ongoing support following her return to normality especially after her experiences with the rendition. Please direct any support request calls from Fifty personally to me or Charlotte for at least the coming 8 weeks.

Jenny's Recollections:

It's the end of final day of the course.

There are sorrowful goodbyes at the Centre. Jo, Corinne, Ylena, Jonathan, Charlotte and, best of all, Gerry are all there to see us off. But, just before I leave, there is one thing that reminds me that maybe things aren't over.

As we're standing in the hall waiting to be taken back to London, Jo goes to the small table that stands on one side and opens the drawer. She takes out a small pistol shaped handpiece and points it at each of our arms in turn. "There," she says, "that's checked all of you out on the system for now at any rate. It will stop the alarms going off when your tags can't be sensed any more. Oh, and can we have our collars, wrist and ankle cuffs back, please?"

It feels very strange not to have them on, but I wonder if it they can be removed from our mind quite so easily? And what's even stranger for me at least, is to be wearing clothes again, even though it's just jeans, flip-flops and a tee-shirt!

As the tag reader beeps when it senses my chip I'm reminded that, whatever else, I'll still carry quite a few mementos of Inward Bound. It will be quite a challenge adapting to everyday life again, especially since I'm going to have to relive it all in my mind; while writing it up and preparing the research proposals, whatever Angela says. I will have to tell the faculty at Inward Bound just what I've been up to. I wonder if I we will be able to go on with this after all that has happened?

We're just about to leave when Charlotte emerges from the house with a flat, square, red, leather-covered box. She waves to Judy to come forward and calls for our attention. "I think you all know that Judy has been on her second experience here," she says. "Well, her real life Master has asked if we can make sure that he can keep track of her after she leaves here." Charlotte opens the box. Inside is a slightly heavier version of the collars we've been wearing at Inward Bound. She takes it out and clips it closed around Judy's neck with a rather final sounding "clunk".

"If any of your Masters or Mistresses are interested," Charlotte goes on, "it works by reporting where it is using a Global Positioning System. It can be programmed to report its position every hour or more often, provided you plug the collar in for a re-charge on a regular basis. Or it can be set it up so that your Master or Mistress sends a text message to the collar and it will respond with where it is. Now you need never be worried about getting lost again. I think Judy's Master was worried that she might wander off." Judy doesn't look entirely pleased with this development but she doesn't say anything. She puts her hands up to feel the collar as it sits in place around her neck. "There's no catch that you'll find," Charlotte says. She holds out a silver ring. "The collar has a magnetic lock. Your master will have this ring. He will be able to unlock it should he wish." Judy drops her hands to her sides and nods submissively. Charlotte smiles. "There," she says. "now you are all ready to go."

A few moments later, I'm sitting in the same vehicle that brought me to the Inward Bound Centre with the same four other girls that were with me on the day we arrived here almost two months ago. But, this time, they are being a bit more severe with us — as a last fling we have been given discipline hoods to wear on the trip back. Well, I guess that's progress. We were all chatting away together as we waited in the entrance hall but now we're all quiet - we cannot be anything else! However, I suspect each of the others, like me, is lost in thoughts of what has been and what has yet to be.

George drives us back towards London. Eventually, we stop. Charlotte has made the return trip with us and strips off our hoods. We've stopped on the Embankment, opposite the London Eye. It's time to get off and finally go our separate ways. She embraces us individually.

"Well, are you glad you came?"

"Yes, Mm..." Charlotte stops me with a finger against my lips.

"It's Charlotte now, not Mistress - now that we are back on earth," she says.

I laugh — we all laugh — and at last head off back to our everyday lives. Well, except Judy, maybe.

In true Inward Bound fashion, I have been given an envelope with an Underground ticket which will take me to Marylebone and a rail ticket to get me back home. At least, this time they've also given me some cash to get something to eat on the way back. Mind you, I have lost absolutely all my spare fat and I'm not for putting it back in a hurry.

So, at last I am back, unlocking my front door. I feel strangely flat, lonely, aimless. Going into my own home at last, there are the familiar smells of home, but an odd, empty aura too.

The message light on my answer phone is blinking. I had told people that I would be away so I wasn't really expecting much. Four calls. They all turn out to be from Angela.

"Jenny, call me as soon as you're back. You've no idea how anxious I've been about you and how keen I've been to hear about your research." BEEP "Hi, Jenny. It's the Prof. Really keen to talk to you. Call me." BEEP "Jenny, I'm guessing you should be back soon. I really need to get to work on a paragraph for our Department's submission in the RAE. I've done something, but you'll need to review it. Plus, I guess that you'll want to do a British Association presentation too. Call as soon as you can." BEEP "Jenny. Sorry, but this is really urgent. Now I've got some Americans that want to talk to me about this. Call when you can."

I listen to Angela's voice warily. Her insistence, her sense of urgency, contrasts sharply with the curious flatness that I feel. She hasn't once said anything that might show any sign of interest in how I feel. Then, I think about the dates and times. These messages are all two weeks ago. What was Angela thinking of? She knew I was supposed to be away for eight weeks. She suggested eight weeks, but she's calling me after six weeks ... Did she contact Inward Bound and ask for me back to work on the RAE submission? And then there is the sinister reference to 'The Americans'. That must have been the Agency. She hasn't called since. Ha! I guess she's had something else to think about. A wide smile breaks out across my face. I'm sure I can rely on Connie! In fact I have never felt happier about Connie than I do now.

The phone rings. Against my better judgement I pick it up. It's Angela.

"Jenny, thank goodness, you're back. We really have to talk. As soon as possible. Are you coming up to the university tomorrow?"

I listen to Angela without saying anything. She still doesn't stop to ask how I am and if she feels any remorse or even questions her actions after her encounter with Connie and the Agency, whoever they were, it doesn't show. I don't really have a chance to speak as Angela crashes on and actually I don't want to.

"So, how soon do you think you can get back to work on the RAE? I've done something, but you'll need to review it and I want to make sure that you've got a good structure for the presentation I mentioned too."

I don't say anything. I just drop the handset back onto the cradle and hang up. The phone rings again. I don't answer it. I know it will just be Angela and I don't want to listen to any more.

One of the things that Inward Bound offered to organise was to keep an eye on the place while I was away. The keys have been left on the kitchen table with a note, an envelope addressed to me - and a bag containing a pair of linen trousers, a white sleeveless top and a pair of sandals. I smile. The note reads, "Welcome back, Jenny. You'll find things a bit strange for a while. If you need to talk to anyone give me a call. You know where to reach me. Love. Jo. XXX"

'A bit strange' is something of an understatement. It's a nice thought but right now I don't want to talk to anybody, I just want to think.

A shower is always a good start. I head upstairs and strip off. I feel more comfortable naked these days. It is bliss to stand under the stream of hot water knowing that no one is watching me. The water feels good on my skin and tingles on my bare scalp. Even after all the time at Inward Bound that still seems strange, but only occasionally, now.

Once out of the shower, as I run the towel over my arms, I remember the RFID chip. The scar has virtually gone now; you wouldn't know it was there. Unless you had one of those readers. I suddenly have a horror of setting off alarms as I go through supermarket checkout. Surely that can't happen, I think. Perhaps I'll call Jo and ask her.

I look over my shoulder at my back in the bathroom mirror. My tattoo might not be finished but I still think it's magnificent. I wouldn't have thought I would like something so large but it's so dramatic, so — well — beautiful. I hope Joe thinks so too.

I sprawl on the bed and flick on the television. I haven't seen any in two months and I can't say I've missed it. I thumb through channels aimlessly, then click it off and toss the remote aside. I stretch out on the bed and suddenly I'm really tired. In moments I'm asleep.

I wake up. Really awake. Really rested. It's still dark. I grope for the bedside clock and press the button. It's only half past two in the morning, but I am awake. I haven't felt like this since the last time I flew transatlantic. It must have taken me three or four days in Denver before I got around to waking up at the right time. Only this time I haven't crossed any oceans, leastways not in the usual way.

I go to make myself some tea, padding downstairs, still naked. The message light on the answer phone is blinking. Two messages. I must have been sleeping soundly, I hadn't even heard the phone ring.

The first one is Angela. "Jenny, I'm so sorry if I caught you at a bad time when I called before. I do want us to get together soon. I'm really keen to find out how you got on, so why don't you pop around to my study tomorrow first thing." I can think of a hundred reasons why not and not one reason why I should. She still hasn't mentioned her encounter with "The Agency". I wonder if she ever will. I press the delete button.

The second one is Joe. "Hi Honey, just to let you know that I'll be back into Heathrow around seven thirty. Guess you're out enjoying yourself. Hope you haven't been too lonely. I've missed you. See you tomorrow." I press the replay button and listen to it again and again.

The kettle boils, I pour water onto a tea bag — green herb tea seems like the best in the middle of the night — and take the cup through to the lounge. I curl up on the couch. I think back to my last few days with Gerry and I know just what I've got to do. I want Joe to have as good a home-coming as he possibly can have. I drink my tea and think through everything I need to do. It's going to be a busy day.

I also remember the envelope, which is still waiting for me on the kitchen table. Inside is a letter and an "I might have known" smile breaks our across my face as I read:

"Dear Jenny.

Now you are back in your home environment, I'm sure you will want to keep the lessons you learned fresh so here is some home work for you: