Chapter 17: The Tattooing Incident

Course 8 / Day 15: Course Progress Meeting

Participant Notes: Fifty

Jo: At yesterday's review we agreed that Fifty was ready for her next experience. Charlotte has agreed to mentor her through this with Jonathan providing the technical input. We have scheduled Fifty's tattooing for today, assuming she consents as we anticipate. It worked well for those on the last course, and like them, we expect this will help Fifty to confront issues of trust and the need to surrender to her new slave identity. She has given outline consent and Charlotte will begin by asking Fifty to provide a confirmation.

Jenny's Recollections:

I am in my cell. The shutter is up so it's open to the corridor through the bars. Charlotte comes.

She looks cool, calm; the epitome of Scandinavian elegance. She is dressed in a polo shirt, cut-off cargo pants and polished black thick soled leather loafers. There's the heavy, sweet, fine, aura of Santa Maria Novella; the same scent she was wearing when we first met.

She unlocks the door with a swipe card, comes in and sits on my bed. She motions me to sit and I kneel at her feet.

She slips her feet out of her shoes, to draw them up onto the mattress, but instinctively (now) I lean forward and begin to kiss her feet.

They are beautiful feet; lightly tanned, no calluses, nails carefully trimmed, a toe ring on one foot and an ankle bracelet on the opposite ankle. They smell warm with the scent of leather, from her shoes.

Suddenly, I raise my head and smile broadly. I am rushing back to the normal in control, analytical, me. "You know, Charlotte, I never dreamed..."

She cuts me off. "SHHHH, little one." She lays one hand on my head. "Shhhh. Stay where you were. Where you were..."

And I'm back as a slave once again, but with tears in my eyes now. Charlotte pushes my head gently down and I resume: kissing licking, rubbing my lips against her feet.

"Now, that's good Fifty. Doesn't that seem good to you?"

And it does seem good. Appropriate. Safe. Correct. I'm always happy here, caring for my Mistresses. It's funny. I have no problem with this; crouching at the feet of Charlotte, or Jo. Some of the other girls find this aspect of their slavery the hardest. They can cope with the bondage or the beatings, but they find it had to submit at this intensely personal level. Sue collected ten demerits yesterday for being slow to massage Charlotte's feet when ordered. Anna earned punishment for defying Ylena over something similar. For me, though, these services are the fulfilment of everything else:, the reason for the bondage and the beatings, the reward for the household duties, the honour of slavery. And then, I think, "Why can't I do this for Joe?"

Charlotte interrupts my thoughts. "Well done, little one. Well done. Now..."

It takes a moment to realise that she is trying to attract my attention. "Yes, Mistress?"

"Fifty: we would like you to take a souvenir home with you."

"But, surely it's not time for me to go home?"

"No, but some souvenirs need time and occasionally some need special consent."

"From me?"

"Mmmmm, even from you. You know we do nothing that you have not consented to."

She's right, of course.

"For your souvenir, we would like you to be tattooed. Would you like that?"

My first reaction is, I'm not sure. Actually, it's something I had never thought of. Of course, I had noticed other girls with various tattoos, some very attractive, some a bit tacky, and there are the tattoos that Judith and Anna have, but I never thought of having one myself...

"Er, I well, well I mean I never thought of it ... I mean it might depend on what, on where ... erm what did you have in mind?"

"Of course, Fifty, we come back to the 'trust' question now. Would you trust us to do the best by you?"

I think about it for a moment. Actually, I do trust them. Even so, it's a big step. I think back to the tattoos that I saw on Judith and Anna. "Yes, Mistress. I do," I say but I need some reassurance. "Would it be something like the ones that Judith and Anna wear?"

Charlotte understands my worries. "Fifty, we know that your consent has to be informed. I will tell you this. Whatever we do would be hidden under your normal clothes. Nothing in the design would be obscene or offensive in any way. It will be done by a professional tattoo artist who would be proud to point to his work afterwards."

What she says reassures me. I can see that she's waiting for my answer, The look on her face is at once understanding of my dilemma, accepting of the sense of my concerns and disappointment that I am not more ready to demonstrate my trust.

"I'm sorry, it's just not something I ever really thought of."

"No, but we have thought of it for you. Will you trust us?"

"Yes Charlotte — sorry - Mistress."

Charlotte leans forward and strokes my scalp. "Good," she says. "Don't worry it will be all right. I'll send Jonathan to see you. Now you were... ?"

I smile and lean forward again to kiss lick and rub my lips against her feet. In spite of the uncertainty, the tingle of apprehension, here I feel safe and right.

After Charlotte has gone, I have another visitor. Jonathan. I saw him on my last visit to see Celia.

He smiles broadly. "Hi, Fifty. I have come to talk about your tattoo. Stand up."

I stand.

"Turn around ... and again ... slowly. No stand up straight. Raise your arms. Now bend over. Hmmmmm. OK, let's do that again, and I'll photograph you."

I repeat the routine accompanied by clicks from Jonathan's digi-cam.

"OK, thank you, Fifty. I will work up a design on these and I will come for you later."

"Sir," I ask, "what will it look like and where will it be?"

Jonathan smiles. "To be absolutely honest, I haven't decided yet. The very best and most artistic tattoos tend to be bold and simple. They're often quite a bit larger than their owners originally had in mind." His eyes twinkle as he sees me bite my lip at this suggestion. "Although you have given your consent and you have agreed to leave the design up to us,. of course, I do remember you are a girl. Don't worry, Heavy Metal Biker or old fashioned Sailor imagery would not look right for you and cartoon characters are not appropriate for your personality either..."

Relief must have shown in my face, because he flashes a broad smile at me. "So I have to go and review possibilities. Positions and of course," he pauses, "size. Then, I will know just what to create that will be right for a slave like you."

I'm beginning to feel a knot of anxiety and anticipation somewhere between my tummy and my clit!

"I thought you used transfers from books and just tattooed over them?"

"That's the way it always used to be. It is still used a lot. It's called Flash. Sometimes Flash can look really good. But, that's not what we're going to do for you, Fifty. I like to develop individual designs for my clients - you can be a client on this occasion." He smiles again.

"How long will it take? Will it hurt?"

"Not compared to a session with Ylena!" he laughs and sees me blush. "Well, it will be uncomfortable in places. If I'm tattooing where the skin is thin, over bone, it can be worse and of course it can go on for a long time. Relatively small designs can be done in one session, but yours will probably take several sessions." He must see how nervous that makes me feel, is he planning to cover my entire body? He ignores my anxiety and carries on. "I might decide to see you at my studio after you are released, depending on the final design."

After my release ... I have had so much to think about that "release" and return to normal life seems a completely alien idea. But now there is this new idea that my 'experience" won't end with release ... that my time here will cast a shadow into the future. My hair will grow back, the pale marks from my cuffs and collar will fade, the scar from my implant will disappear, even my piercings could heal over but this will be visible always. Just how long will the shadow of Inward Bound actually be, I wonder? I am more than a bit concerned. I am actually feeling quite scared. When I started this I thought that the big problem was going to be coping with what ever they threw at me as part of the "experience". Then I thought that trying to be objective enough to come up with something that would relate to a research agenda would be a problem. (All right — that has been a problem, I know). And I thought about the problems that I was going to have with Angela when I got back. And Joe. What I haven't thought about, until now, was me and how all this was going to affect me And now that I do, I am scared.