Chapter 7

Day 31 Friday

Feeling depressed, Denise struggled to get out of bed. It was the beginning of her second month in the program and she didn't think she could continue. Although she had noticed over the past week that all of her clothes were too big, she didn't care that none of her clothes fit her anymore. The previous evening had been the most degrading of her life. There had been a lot of degrading evenings over the past month, but the previous evening had made them all pale in comparison.

It had all started when Dale had handed her an enema kit and told her to use it. After she had returned from the bathroom, he had taken her in the ass. It didn't matter that he had used lots of lube and had taken his time; Denise had been shattered by the experience. It had hurt more than anything she had ever experienced.

The pain wasn't physical; it had been emotional. She had taken the box from him knowing what he wanted to do to her. She had flushed out her colon knowing exactly what was going to happen next. She had positioned herself in the closet to allow him entry. She had cried silent tears as he prepared her asshole. A weak stream of vomit had risen to her mouth when he had entered her with his cock but she had swallowed it. He couldn't see what she was doing and she didn't say a word to stop him; not one single word.

After he had finished and left the room, she had curled into a small ball on the floor and cried. The sick thing was that she couldn't put the blame entirely on him. It had been sodomy and there was no greater sin in her mind. He had sodomized her and she had done nothing to stop him. There hadn't even been the smallest squeak of a protest or hint of how she really felt during the entire experience. She had been a willing participant.

A third person view of her ass sticking out from the curtain and him pounding his cock into her asshole flashed into her mind. Just thinking about it caused the bile to rise in her throat. She barely made it to the bathroom in time. After emptying her stomach, she collapsed with her head on the toilet rim.

Her voice echoed in the porcelain bowl as she said, "I'm a whore. I did that disgusting sex act without complaint. There isn't anything that he can request that I would stop."

Her entire body moved as she sobbed. She said, "I could have said no. I've said no to other things, but I didn't even try."

A lot of pretense in how she viewed herself was shattered with that single act. She had willingly engaged in a horrible sin. She had sold her soul to get rid of a couple of pounds. She said, "I'm nothing but a big fat disgusting whore."

It hurt to say it aloud, but she believed it with her entire soul. Susan had told her once that she was a whore trading sex to lose weight. She had agreed, but hadn't believed it. She said, "It's time to get ready to face another day."

Denise got up and stepped into the shower. Wanting to punish herself, she stood under the freezing cold water. She washed her body without trying to wash away her sin. She felt that her soul was irrevocably stained. Moving woodenly, she dried off and then trudged upstairs to make breakfast.

She cooked, she ate, and then she waited for Dale to make his demand of her. When he gestured to his lap, she crawled under the table and sucked him off. When he came, she swallowed and then cleaned off his cock. She crawled out from under the table and went to the basement to dress before heading to work. She didn't say a word.

Denise worked through the morning without break. Karen walked past her office several times noticing how Denise sat at her desk woodenly working. She knew that something was happening and that it was bad, but she didn't know what. The weight that Denise had dropped over the last month was definitely noticeable.

It was nearing lunch when Karen called Denise into her office. Denise went in and sat at the visitor's chair looking at Karen. Shaking her head, Karen said, "Denise, I need to know what is going on with you."

"Nothing is going on with me," Denise answered dully.

"I've been watching you work for two years. You've always been a good producer. Your manuals have been well written, clear, unambiguous, detailed, and easy to follow. Almost without exception, you've produced ten pages of copy a day.

"For the past month, your work has swung from mediocre to brilliant on almost a daily basis. There have been a couple of days that you didn't produce a single page. Then there've been days when you produced twenty-five pages. No one produces twenty-five pages of text in one day," Karen said watching Denise for her reaction.

"Okay," Denise said.

"I shouldn't really complain. You've managed to make all of your deadlines," Karen said.

"Okay," Denise said.

Karen didn't like how Denise was reacting to her comments. She said, "The problem is that you've been moody. There have been days when no one in the office wants to even talk to you because they think you are going to bite their heads off. Other days, people can't get you to say a word to them. I've got to know, is there some problem?"

"No problems," Denise said. She was never going to admit that she had learned that she was nothing but a big fat whore who had sold her soul to the devil.

Karen was convinced that Denise was in pretty bad shape. She had once had an employee who was bipolar that had exhibited the same kind of behavior. He had turned sullen and non- communicative with one word answers to questions that seemed to follow after an uncomfortable amount of time passed. Other days he had come into the office filled with energy and talked non-stop. He had to be hospitalized.

Karen clasped her hands on the desk and studied Denise trying to make sense out of what was going on with the young woman. There was the sudden weight loss. Usually that was a pretty good thing for someone Denise's size, but Denise acted like she didn't understand how it was happening. That usually meant there were physical problems. There were the sudden and unexplained mood swings. There was the inconsistent job performance. Those factors usually pointed to emotional problems. Now there was this sullen non-communicative behavior. That usually indicated mental problems. Knowing that she was overstepping her bounds, she said, "You might want to check with a doctor."

"No doctor," Denise said. She didn't need a doctor. She knew exactly what was wrong with her.

Karen said, "Well, keep it in mind."

"Is there anything else?" Denise asked.

"No," Karen answered.

Denise returned to her desk and worked until lunch time. She took her lunch break at her desk and went back to work as soon as she had finished eating. She had her checklist of work to do and went through it checking off one item at a time. It didn't take her long to complete the work. Sitting back, she stared at the computer screen. She was done with the user manual. She saved her work without feeling her typical end of job high.

The next week she would start working on the administrator's manual. She got out the list of things that had to be done to the existing version of the administrator's manual and broke the job up into daily increments. She finished early and left work two hours early.

Returning straight to the house, she stripped and waited for Dale and Susan to return home. She knew that she had hours alone in the house and nothing to do. She looked over at the television set thinking that she could watch television, but decided not to do that. Somehow she had gotten out of the habit of sitting around the house.

She wandered into Susan's room and stared at the computer. She sat down and moved the mouse. She noticed that there was a folder on the desktop labeled with her name. She opened the folder. There was a video file there. She clicked on it and watched as the time-lapse history of her was shown. It was a short video, less than five seconds but it showed her dropping at least eight pounds.

She noticed that another program was running on the computer, but minimized so that it wasn't immediately obvious. She knew exactly what the program was. Dale had her using it every night. She opened it and stared at the text. It was Susan's personal diary. Dismayed, she read the partial entry:

Last night Denise experienced anal sex for the first time. She didn't say anything, but I know that she's sick to her stomach. I guess she's made the transition from considering herself a whore to believing she's one. She has no idea what kinds of things she's going to be doing over the next few months. God, I remember when that happened to me. I walked around like a robot for a week. I didn't realize that it was the first step in the transition from being a fat woman to sexy woman. She's gone from being a fat woman to being a fat whore. Before long, she'll be more concerned about being a whore than about being fat. One day the fat woman will disappear for good. She has such a long way to go. I want to comfort her, but Dale says that she has to work through it all by herself, but he is satisfied with her progress. It is so hard to watch though. I cried myself to sleep last night after seeing how she looked after Dale had left the room.

Denise sat back and read the entry three times. She didn't know what to think about the comment about not knowing what kinds of things she was going to be doing. As far as she could tell, sodomy was the worst thing she could do. It also bothered her that Dale knew exactly what his actions were doing to her. She wondered if she was that predictable.

She minimized the diary and left the computer hoping that the screensaver would come on before Susan returned home. She didn't want her friend to know that she had been prying into her private business.

She wandered into Dale's study and looked over at the pictures on the wall. She was shocked to see that two pictures of her had joined the wall of photographs. With the introduction of her picture, there were now seventeen program women on the wall. She wished that he had included names, but realized that she wouldn't appreciate having her name associated with her pictures.

The columns of pictures were arranged from earliest to most recent with the former at the bottom of the column. All of the women were naked and in identical poses. It looked like they had all been posed using that same rig that she used when posing. It made it very easy to compare and contrast the physical builds of the women.

It felt strange to be studying pictures of naked women, but she couldn't help herself. Her curiosity was leading her to do things that she wouldn't ever have considered. She compared how she looked to some of the other women appearing on the wall. Most had started out thinner than her, but there were three that had been fatter. One had been much fatter. Of course, one of the fattest was Susan.

The differences of body styles were rather surprising. The length of legs ranged from short to very long. Breasts ranged from flabby to perky. Even the aureoles were of different sizes. She had never thought about those kinds of differences in the past. It seemed to her that she had some concept of beauty that was rooted in fashion magazines. These pictures were of real women with real bodies.

The pictures taken of the women at the end of their program were very attractive. It was hard to believe that all of those thin women had been so large at one point in their lives. She tried to imagine what it would be like to look like them. Locked in a fat woman mindset, she couldn't picture it. No matter how hard she tried; her image of herself kept warping into that of a fat woman.

She took the time to look at each woman. One of the first women who had gone through the program looked familiar. It took a minute for her to realize that she was the weatherperson on the evening news. She looked at the others with a lot more care realizing that she had seen a couple of them in the past. She just couldn't place the context.

Considering how long she had been in the room, she was embarrassed when she realized that there were pictures of Dale hanging on a different wall. There was a picture of him as a young man wearing a cowboy outfit. The kid next to him was wearing a pirate outfit. She smiled looking at the picture of innocent boys looking forward to Halloween. She found it hard to believe that one of those boys had grown up to be a pervert.

There was another picture of Dale that was probably taken in his late teens. He was there with two other girls, one older and one younger. She assumed that they were his sisters. She laughed at his picture and said, "What a geek."

She moved along the wall and looked at another item that had been hung on the wall. It was a newspaper clipping in which Dale was interviewed about a software firm that he was starting. She read a bit of the article and then realized that she had written some manuals for his company. He was actually a pretty wealthy man. That little fact surprised her and she wondered why he was working with the program.