Chapter 12

Day 119 Tuesday

Susan looked at the suitcases that contained her clothes. Despite having lived with Dale for sixteen months, she had not acquired any personal belongings other than new clothes. She went over to the computer on her desk and double-clicked the icon for the movie of her weight loss. She watched the fat woman transform into a beauty that men desired and women wanted to be. She said, "I can watch that video every day and never get tired of it."

"It is quite a change," Denise said watching the video. It was a remarkable transformation. It would be impossible to believe that it was the same woman from the before and after pictures. The fat slob had morphed into a beauty queen.

"Yes," Susan said with a private smile of satisfaction. It had been a very tough sixteen months and it was still hard to believe that it was over.

"You've taken the week off," Denise said more as a question than a statement.

"Yes, I've got to get the apartment fixed up. All of the furniture is scheduled to arrive today and tomorrow," Susan replied.

"How long are you going to live in the apartment?" Denise asked.

"I'm going to stay there while we search for a house. We have the money for a down payment, but there is no reason to rush it. I want the right house in the right neighborhood. That will take some time to find," Susan answered. They had almost making the mistake of putting some money down on the first house they could afford despite the fact that they didn't really like it. She and Chuck decided that they wouldn't look for a house until after they were married. There were enough things to do that adding to the burden would be a rather stupid thing to do.

"I think you would rather stay here until you found a house. Why move twice?"

"A slow but sure approach to a problem usually brings a better and longer lasting solution," Susan answered. She'd seen that with her weight loss. After years of attempting quick solutions, she had seen that they never worked. Sixteen months of balanced meals, exercise, and leading an active life had shown her that slow worked better.

"Still, it will be rather uncomfortable in that apartment," Denise argued. The fact was that she didn't want Susan to leave. The idea that Dale would be turning to her for sexual release four times a day was a nightmare come true.

"I can put up with that to achieve what I really want," Susan answered calmly.

Denise sighed and asked, "There's nothing I can say to convince you to stay?"

"No. I've finished the program," Susan said. She looked over at her friend and said, "Don't let it get you down. You've come a long way."

"Yeah. I can now deep throat him," Denise said in disgust. She had gone through hell learning how to suppress her gag reflex enough to swallow his cock down her throat. Now she could take a man's cock down her throat like a porn star. It wasn't something that she was all that proud of being able to do.

Smiling at the look of disgust on her friend's face, Susan said, "The man you marry will appreciate that more than you can possibly guess."

"The man I marry," Susan repeated dully. She still expected to end up an old maid.

Denise said, "By the time you are done with the program, you'll be able to make any fantasy that a man has come true. Deep throat, threesomes, dress-up, role playing, and anything else that his dirty little mind can imagine will all be within your power to give him. He's going to be a lucky man."

"What about me?" Denise asked.

Susan said, "You'll be very happy with the result. He'll move mountains for you."

"So you say," Denise said looking at her friend unconvinced.

"You still doubt everything," Susan said. She shook her head and said, "Skepticism and suspicion are healthy except when taken to an extreme. It is time for you to really look around and take stock of what you see."

It was not new advice. Susan told her the same thing almost daily, but Denise didn't accept the advice. In a way she felt that Susan had tricked her into joining the program. She admitted that her introduction to it was not the most favorable one, but it had worked. She said, "I'll see."

Susan looked at her friend thinking about how much further she had to go in the program. Once Denise accepted the fact that she was a sexual being and that being sexy had little to do with appearance, she wouldn't make much progress on the emotional and mental parts of the program. It was so easy to ignore that critical aspect of being a balanced person. After having been through the program, she had come to realize just how crippled most people were. The physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional parts of being a person could never be in balance until the sexual aspects were addressed. How could one be confident if the moment their clothes were removed they fell apart in shame? How could one be confident with a lover if the act of love was performed in ignorance? How could one focus on the real problems of life when inner sexual demons worked to distract you?

It had taken her almost a year to realize that Dale was trying to achieve balance of all of the inner forces that drove her. She had learned to tame hunger by satisfying the body's need for nutrition. She had learned to tame her sex drive by satisfying the body's need for sexual release. She had learned how to tame her wants by focusing on her needs. She had learned how to tame her greed by appreciating the little things around her. She was physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy for the first time in her life.

Pulling away from her thoughts, she went over to Denise and hugged her. She said, "I'm going to miss being around you so much. Promise me that you'll come over to visit occasionally?"

"I promise," Denise said.

"I better go now," Susan said.

Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought of Susan leaving. She wiped her eyes and said, "I can't believe I'm crying."

That was enough to start the waterworks as both women broke down into tears. It was a strange mix of emotions that flowed through the two women. Susan was looking forward to starting a new chapter in her life knowing that a particularly tough chapter had just come to an end. She was also concerned for her friend and felt as if she was abandoning her at a critical time in her life. Denise was sad to see her friend leave and worried about what she would find upon moving on with her life. She was also envious of what her friend was doing.

Thirty minutes later, Susan walked out the door carrying her suitcase. After getting into her car, she drove off to start her new life. Denise watched her go with a heavy heart. She went to her car and headed off to work knowing that she'd be late. Feeling a little depressed, Denise chose not to go directly to work. Driving around aimlessly, she came across a coffee shop and decided that she'd stop and get a cup of coffee.

The coffee shop was packed with men and women getting ready for a busy day of work, shopping or normal household errands. Despite the large line, not many people were staying there to drink their coffee. The place couldn't have handled a lot of people staying around drinking coffee since it only had six tables all of which were occupied by a single person sitting at them. Denise sighed as she got into line to order a coffee and hoped that a table would open up by the time she was done.

After getting her order, Denise looked around and saw that none of the tables were free. She didn't want to sit in her car and drink her coffee. She didn't want to drive off somewhere in the hopes of finding a place to enjoy it. Dismissing the tables with two or more people at them, she was left with a choice between an old woman, a guy with a bunch of papers spread in front of him, and an overweight woman. She decided to ask the overweight woman if she minded sharing the table. Going over to the table, Denise asked, "Mind if I join you?"

The overweight woman slowly looked up at her and took stock of the woman standing in front of her. She relaxed on seeing that she wasn't one of those blond soccer moms, thin business women, or young cheerleader types. She answered, "Go ahead."

Denise sat down at the table and took a sip of her coffee. She noticed that the woman had a paper plate with the remains of a slice of coffee cake on it. She had been tempted to get one, but had resisted without much effort. The hot cereal still sat heavy in her stomach. She said, "It is busy here this morning."

The woman had noticed Denise eyeing the plate that was in front of her. She said, "I've given up dieting."

"Why?" Denise asked.

The woman answered, "The only reason I dieted was because my soon-to-be ex-husband wanted a slender woman."

"Oh, sorry," Denise said wondering if she was going to get pulled into a long diatribe of the woman's troubles.

"The bastard took off with one of those fashion model types. The skinny bitch grabbed him at work and never let go," the woman said bitterly.

"Oh," Denise said.

The woman sighed and said, "Just wait until she gains a couple of extra pounds. He'll be gone after the next skinny bitch."

"I guess," Denise said trying not to get drawn into the discussion.

"Men are disgusting."

"Not all of them," Denise said. She would do anything to have a nice man in her life. The fact was that she was doing things now that disgusted her in the hope that she would lose enough weight to get a man.

"They are all disgusting. The only thing they think about is sex. They're always waving their cocks in front of your face expecting you to fall back in bed overcome with desire," the fat woman said. She snorted and said, "Like that is ever going to happen."

"I know what you mean," Denise said thinking about Dale and his constant demands for sex. She wondered if he was all that exceptional. Maybe every man wanted sex four or five times a day.

"That bastard wasn't satisfied with once a week. I gave him two kids, what more did he want?" the woman asked.

"I guess he wanted sex," Denise answered.

"You ever just look at a man's penis?" the woman asked leaning forward and dropping her voice on the last word.

"Not really," Denise answered. She had seen Dale's cock up close and personal, but she had never really just examined it. She did her best to keep her eyes closed. Of course, with Dale throwing a towel over her head she tended not to see much anyway.

"It is a pretty disgusting thing. Looks kind of like a piece of rancid sausage atop a wrinkled half filled coin purse," the fat woman said. She shook her head in disgust. She added, "Every time that bastard waved his penis in front of me I wanted to barf. It is hard to believe that God would actually create something so ugly. Of course, God created the wart hog, so there's no telling what God thinks it pretty."

"I suppose," Denise said hoping that she'd be able to get the visual image of rancid sausage out of her head before Dale presented her with his cock to suck. As much as she hated it now, she could only imagine how she would feel the next time.

"All men do is take. They don't give anything back," the fat woman said with a trace of anger in her voice.

"I guess," Denise said.

"Now that the rotten bastard is gone, I'm going to have to get a job," the fat woman said.

"Working isn't that bad," Denise said. She already worked for a living and didn't understand why working was that bad of a thing.

"You don't understand. I'll have to work and take care of the kids. That's the same as two full time jobs," the woman said shaking her head.

"He'll be giving you child support, won't he?" Denise asked.

"Honey, that won't cover shit," the fat woman said shaking her head. She said, "He's screwed me royally by running off with that skinny bitch."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Denise said.

"I better get off to my job interview. With that bastard running off with the skinny bitch, I've got to get a job," the woman said rising from the table.

"Good luck," Denise said.

"It is just a job at a burger place," the fat woman said. She turned to leave without picking up her trash.

Denise watched the overweight woman walk off. She moved with a slovenly shuffle that was lethargic. Shaking her head, Denise took another sip of coffee thinking about how the woman wouldn't be able to support herself with a job at a burger place. At least she had a job that paid well. The woman's words had re-enforced one idea that Denise had about men and that was that men were only interested in skinny women. She looked down at her body and wondered how much more weight she would have to lose before men looked at her. She had a feeling that it was going to be a lot.

She sat at the table silently considering her situation. Susan was gone and she was going to be alone in the house with Dale. She wondered if he was going to start playing new kinds of mind games with her now that she was without the support of her friend. Her mind created unrealistic scenarios including one with a hidden subbasement that was fixed up like some sort of torture dungeon where she would be trussed up and unable to resist the strange men that Dale brought over to have their way with her.

She shook her head when she realized just how ridiculous that idea was. Susan had told her that she'd had sex with four people since beginning the program: Dale, Donna, Denise, and Chuck. Her friend hadn't lied to her about any aspect of the program. There was not a subbasement filled with torture equipment and she knew it. She sighed and finished her cup of coffee thinking that it was well past time for her to get to work.

The day was filled with work on a software manual for an update of a product about to be released by Dale's company. The changes were relatively minor and she thought that he was paying too much money for such a minor change. It wasn't her place to negotiate the cost and schedule of jobs accepted by the company.

She did notice a few abnormal behaviors and documented them before sending them off to the engineers at the software company. It was normal procedure for her to do that when things didn't seem to function correctly. More often than not it was because she hadn't understood the proper procedure and the engineers would send back a note that explained how that particular functionality was supposed to be done. She would add the corrected procedure to the manual and include a warning of what would happen if the incorrect procedure was followed. The result was a better and more complete document.