Chapter 27: The Abduction of Helen

With the web site launch done, I had some time to devote to the Questor's project. I know I shouldn't really go on operations but it's hard to resist the adrenalin rush and besides, Freddie and Harry both seemed happy that I was getting involved. "Just as long as there are no vodka bottles around," said Harry with a smirk. Plus, of course, Hannani had been keen for me to handle things personally and the customer is always right.

I've always liked the Ashmolean Museum. Not a lot of people go to visit it. It's in Oxford and most people go to visit the colleges but the Ashmolean is like a jewel box. It's extraordinary really — one building with the whole of mankind's history on display. Plus it was founded by a man who basically stole the original collection from the man who set up the first ever public museum in Britain. The handy thing is that they are always ready to open it up after hours for corporate hospitality events. They were really cooperative when I asked if I could hire the Egyptian Gallery to impress a few clients and perfectly happy for me to organise my own caterers; just as long as I didn't break anything, they'd said with a smile.

I was sitting in the Morse Bar of the Randolph Hotel opposite the museum, looking out across Beaumont Street when I saw the cab pull up. Three women got out — Helen Stanhope and two others that I took to be two of the Questors. I was pleased, she was on time and obviously doing as she had been told. There was no sign that she'd brought any help but the snatch crew would be looking out for that. I saw two other women walking up Beaumont Street, waving to her. That made the full set as far as I was concerned. I watched as they went up the steps into the courtyard and towards the museum entrance. I left them for a few minutes to get settled and followed them in.

I found them as I expected in the Egyptian Gallery. The women had all taken off their coats and were standing, drinks in hand, admiring the exhibits. They were being served by two waitresses, both dressed in the usual black dresses with white aprons and caps. One held a tray of drinks, the other, Tricia, a tray of canapés. I was beginning to enjoy it when Tricia turned up on a job. She certainly looked good in the uniform.

Helen scowled as I entered first of all, but then managed an insincere smile. "Well, hello," she said, sourly. "We were beginning to wonder if you were going to come."

I gave Helen an equally insincere embrace of greeting. "Goodness, I wouldn't have missed this Helen," I said. "It's so good of you to arrange it. And these are the Questors. Wonderful. Ladies, it's a great pleasure to meet you and in such appropriate surroundings too."

That bit at least was honest. The extent to which the computer game characters resembled their originals (or vice versa) was remarkable. I'd spent some time playing the game — purely as part of the project, you understand — and the four Questors in the game were only slightly exaggerated versions of the real things. There was Anya Tanith, archaeologist and fortune hunter, bush shirt tied off under her tits and khaki shorts that looked like they had been spray painted on; beside her was Dr. Elspeth Train, the linguist and scholar in her trademark dark tweed jacket, tight black skirt and half-moon, gold rimmed spectacles. Between these two and Helen were the black jump-suit clad Aniko Tomaka — the all-action heroine - and Caressa Santango, the fiery, Latin, intuitive one of the four, in a scarlet dress that was cut every bit as low as those she wore in the game. For what it was worth, I reckoned that all four of these ladies had been surgically enhanced so that their attributes provided the desired look when animated. They didn't say anything, they just smiled. I wondered what Helen had told them about our meeting.

Helen wheeled out a suitcase. "I brought the clothes you asked for," she said with an air of distaste. "One costume for each of the characters."

"Thank you," I said, "a wonderful souvenir."

"A gift for a pervert, if you ask me," she hissed under her breath. I smiled. Still Helen had certainly delivered her side of the bargain. It was just a shame that I wasn't really going to be able to do the same or at least, not in the way that Helen imagined.

"Would you like some wine, Sir," the waitress with the drinks tray said to me.

"I'd rather have a scotch if you can manage it," I answered giving the girl the signal to start. I looked up at the CCTV camera that covered the gallery. The techies would have it on divert by now.

"Of course, Sir," she said putting down her tray of drinks. Tricia did the same with her canapés. The first waitress reached behind a statue of Ahkenaten and pulled out a pistol, a second later she had her arm around Helen's throat and the gun pointing at her temple. As she did so, Tricia grabbed an Ouzi from inside a canopic chest and was pointing it at the other four. "Nice and calm, ladies, please," she said politely. "Just remember there aren't any cheats for extra lives in this game."

Helen was looking furious and was about to speak when her captor jerked her arm more tightly about her throat and jammed the barrel of the gun harder against her head. "Not interested, sister," she said. "Lots of quiet is what is needed. You others," she barked at the four Questors staring on in disbelief. "Grab a napkin each, from the table there and push it into your mouth as far as it will go. Then put your hands up way over your heads and get over facing that wall. Get on with it! Are you waiting for me to press CTRL-SHIFT-Get The Fuck Over By The Wall or something?"

I watched as the four girls did as they were told. Tricia and her Ouzi went over, She made sure each got a good prod in the ribs from the gun just to reinforce the situation and then frisked each of them in turn, removing Anya's bowie knife, and Aniko's throwing knives - one of the benefits of the games was that we knew what to look for.

"OK, ladies, turn around but keep your hands up please." The four of them turned around each with a wad of white napkin spilling from their well stuffed mouths. I walked along the line strapping the napkins in place with a couple of strips of tape for each. I took a napkin for Helen and gave her the same treatment. "Very good," Helen's waitress said. "Now round again and hands behind your back, please." The waitresses had brought plenty of rope with them so it was easy for me to get their wrists tied and then to put a turn or two between their elbows and around their chest. Helen was dealt with in the same way as the others.

"Thanks a lot girls," I said to the waitresses. "You can clear away now and make sure they're all bagged up. We haven't got time to strip them now and I don't want those costumes messed up on the journey. Here, take this case too." I pushed across the suitcase that Helen had brought. The four Questors and Helen were hustled away at gunpoint, out through the kitchens and into the catering van that the waitresses had come in. Helen's waitress came back to pick up the glasses, the plates and the remains of the food and drink. I knew they'd be out and on their way to the Prep Centre in minutes.

I went to find the museum's curator to let him know that my hospitality event was over. He seemed happy. "Just as long as you didn't break anything," he said with a grin.

"No, no," I replied, "though of course we did steal a few priceless items."

He laughed in response. "I'll enjoy watching that on the replays," he said nodding to the security monitors. "Well," he said, "I hope your clients enjoyed themselves."

"Oh, yes," I answered, "they were quite taken with the place."

I passed the catering van as they reached Warwick on the M40 going north. I was back at the Prep Centre before they were.

I was waiting for them when the catering van backed up to the loading dock. When we opened the doors at the back of the van I was pleased to see that Tricia and her pal had done just as I asked.

The four Questors had been bagged in zip-up nylon bags that closed up to their necks. It was just as well for their outfits, a couple of trays of food from the buffet had tipped over during the trip and spread themselves around the back of the van.