Chapter 26

[Julia & Staff] Late December

As it turned out, Clark's experience would probably become the pattern for new male employees, although each situation tended to be unique. The reason was not just because he responded so well and became comfortable so quickly. It was also because the women were thrilled to be helping.

In a staff meeting, Julia addressed Clark's experience. "Although Clark thought it would kill him, the women consider the two times he got hard to be the highlights of their stay. I'm considering a new requirement for male employees: at least one erection for the women each week."

She kept an absolutely straight face as she watched the shock and consternation on most of the male faces. She waited until Ryan was about to speak before breaking into laughter. That actually left the men more puzzled than relieved.

"I've had a nice talk with Clark. I admitted that I pushed him beyond what any of you had to deal with - that he was an experiment. He forgave me, I think," Julia chuckled. "I asked him how bad it really was when it happened. His answer was interesting.

"He said his first reaction was guilt. That's right. He felt that it was wrong for anyone but Muriel to see him aroused. But we all know what happened afterwards. The woman that he was massaging at the time was stalled. She was not making any progress, and remember, we had discussed just sending her home with a refund.

"When he got hard right in front of her face, she just started talking. When the massage was done, she pulled him to the pool and never stopped talking. Clark found out things that I had been digging for since she arrived. Since then, there is no doubt that she considers him her therapist."

"Is there a problem? Is she falling in love with him?" Barbara asked.

"Probably. But remember, most of the women fall in love with most of you guys. I made it a point to have Muriel here with Clark a lot after that, and I instructed them to forget the PDA restrictions. The woman could not miss that Clark belonged to Muriel, but she still kept talking.

"The disturbing thing about Clark's experience is what it may say about our efforts to keep the nudity non-sexual. The reason I say disturbing is that there is no way we can use anything overtly sexual in our programs. We all know that when people are naked, sexual thoughts are inevitable. We just try to emphasize that those thoughts are no more than if the women wore bikinis or slinky dresses and the men wore Speedos or jockstraps.

"Nudity is sexual. Everything we have seen here convinces us of that. But life is sexual. When society tries to deny or ignore that fact, things go wrong. We use nudity to foster openness and honesty, not to emphasize sexuality. The sexuality is always there. We just do less to hide it.

"The other time Clark got hard, several women got to enjoy it. I talked to all of them and got two different kinds of answers. One answer was that seeing him hard made him seem powerful, even dominant. Their reaction was to be willing to do anything that he asked them. The other reaction was that letting them see something that they knew was so intimate for him made them feel more open and trustful with him. Most of the women admitted to both reactions.

"Of course, it goes without saying that everyone of them admitted to wanting to haul him off to bed. As we have talked before, after you guys do your naked time in the evenings, batteries get used up in a hurry.

"Ray Ralston is the first time we have purposely used arousal as part of a treatment program. For him, the purpose was twofold: to build his own confidence, and establish a new perception of him in his wife. There is a lot we can learn from Ray's case.

"I have to tell you, Muriel, that you have a real prize in Clark. I pushed him farther than I probably should have. He took it, shrugged off the embarrassment of the hardons, and made every resident fall in love with him. The way he treated them would have done it, even without all of his muscles and the hardons. Are you sure he's committed to staying with teaching?"

[Erica] Late December

Brett's constant naked presence had a strong effect on Erica. At first, she was aghast that anyone could actually stand that kind of exposure. Little by little, though, she began projecting herself into his situation. The thought was both terrifying and arousing. Probably because of the unending criticism of her body from her family, she longed to have people look at her and not react in disgust. Maybe even show interest? Approval? The night when her beloved cousin Troy watched her masturbate naked would forever be a wonderful turning point in her life.

She and Troy had never approached that level of intimacy again. She did not seem to need it more than that once, and he was very cautious not to appear as anything more than her loving cousin.

Because of the credible initial risk of suicide, Erica's room had been carefully prepared. There was a camera hidden in the bathroom. That was because most female suicides were by pills or slashed wrists, and wrists were usually done in the bathtub.

There was a motion sensor that sounded an alarm in Muriel's room. She had insisted that she was more than willing to be wakened to be sure Erica was truly as recovered as she now seemed to be. Coming up on a month, the precautions did seem unnecessary. On the other hand, Muriel did not mind being wakened once or twice a week to see the girl pee or get a drink of water.

During the holiday week between Christmas and New Years, Muriel was awakened by the alarm for the first time in quite a while. She had always become alert quite easily, so she sat up to watch the monitor and turned up the sound speaker.

As usual, Erica peed. When she left the bathroom, though, it did not sound like she got back into bed. There was no real cause for alarm, but Muriel was curious and got up to look out in the main area. Now without her sleepwear, the girl was just walking out of her room.

For over a half hour, Muriel watched as Erica strolled around. Sometimes, she just touched familiar objects. Sometimes she sat quietly for a few minutes. Sometimes she did little dances and pirouettes. Several times she hefted her breasts and a few times she pulled vigorously on her nipples.

Every five minutes or so, she returned to one of the full-length mirrors in the exercise area. There, she looked at herself from every angle. Turned sideways, she would suck in her tummy as hard as she could, then slap it in frustration. Also sideways, she would sort of pat her pubic thatch, testing how far it stuck out. Chuckling to herself, Muriel predicted an imminent pussy shave. She just wondered how short - or bare - Erica would go. After all, naked with Missy on her first day, she had seen Missy's pubes barely growing back in.

When she went back to bed, Muriel saw that it was 3:40.

"I think this fits with my profile," Julia said when Muriel told her about Erica's little escapade. "Do you think she has done it before and you just didn't catch it?"

"It could have happened. I was always just doing the bathroom precautions."

"Oh, I wasn't criticizing. There was no way we could have anticipated this. Are you willing to monitor her for a while longer?"

"Of course. It's hard to imagine what she's going through."

"I have an idea," Julia said. "I know Missy showed Erica her pictures from the Tee. I'll have Missy suggest that Mark do a set for Erica. If she wants them, I'll just make sure she doesn't have contact with anyone else over there."

"I could get a set of those?" Erica asked incredulously.

"I've got pull," Missy said, preening comically. "I'm sure I could set it up."

"Wow! I'd like that."

"I'll make a call," Missy said. "Oh, Mark takes all the pictures."

"M ... M ... Mark? But he's a guy, and..."

"He's Lindsey's guy, even," Missy said with a laugh, "and your headlights say you can't wait to have him take naked pictures of you."

"Miii-syyyyy!"

"Did you chicken out?" Missy teased as she and Erica came back to Lindsey's from Erica's picture session.

"What do you mean?"

"Your bush. It's a lot shorter, but didn't you start out to shave it all off for the pictures." Erica's blush almost burned Missy as they hugged and giggled.

"Of course, I framed my pictures and hung them on the wall so I could track my progress. Too bad you can't do that," Missy said. "Wait! Maybe you could do it! We'll hang them so they can only be seen once you're inside the room. None the guys would come into your room unless you invited them, would they? And you'd never invite them, would you?"

Missy wondered why she hadn't thought of it before. She made Erica wait and ran and called Mark to get several frames. Having an even better idea, she asked Mark to bring them over and help Erica hang the pictures. He was incredulous at what she was suggesting until she explained Julia's theories about the girl.

After a quick circuit of all of the guys to warn them not to be curious, Missy got Leah and Muriel and Naomi all crammed into Erica's room to help frame and hang the pictures. Erica's combination of embarrassment and excitement was both comical and poignant.

Mark suggested the pictures be hung in her bathroom, and that eased her anxiety a lot.

"Now, the only guy who will see them will be Brett when he cleans your toilet," Missy teased. Everyone roared until they saw how really nervous Erica was. "Hey, Girlfriend, if this is going to keep you awake, or anything, let's just forget it." The pictures stayed.

"Troy, I know this is an extreme request, but I think we are on the right track with Erica," Julia said.

"Dr. Waxman, don't even think about it. Of course I'll do it. Suit and tie, huh?"

Three nights after the pictures were hung, Muriel was awakened by the alarm again. When she saw Erica go out into the main area, she made a call.

Ten minutes later, a surprisingly well-groomed Troy, resplendent in suit, tie, and the works, walked in and called her name. Nobody thought that she would flee, and she did not. She stared at the small boom box he carried as he walked toward her. When he reached her, he set down the player, bowed over her hand, and asked her to dance. When she nodded, unable to speak, he started the music, very softly, kicked off his shoes, and took her in his arms.

Over the next forty-five minutes, he showed that dramatic ability ran in the family. They danced, he escorted her elegantly to a table and seated her. He put grapes and berries and chocolates into her mouth, and he poured her non-alchoholic champagne. At the end, he escorted her to her room and kissed the backs of her hands.

She stood in her door and watched as he turned to leave. Suddenly, she dashed after him and dragged him back to her room. There, she took him into the bathroom to show him the pictures.

Muriel and Julia both came into Erica's room a little before her usual waking time. Waking her gently, Julia said "I hope you aren't angry that we have been monitoring you. You were considered suicidal, you know."

"After last night, how could I be angry? What made you think of that?"

"I guess you enjoyed it," Julia teased.

"I'm still not sure it wasn't a dream. Um, I've gotta pee. Wait."

"Are you starting to analyze yourself a little?" Julia asked.

"Well, I guess I'm an exhibitionist," Erica giggled.

"It's not that simple," Julia corrected. "You've just had so much disapproval of your body that you crave approval. Couple that with never acknowledging your sexuality before, and it's not surprising that you want to show your body."

"How did Troy get here so fast?"

"He has slept here for three nights, waiting for a chance." That brought on tears,

"Erica, I want you to tell me if you are falling in love with Troy. That would cause just too many problems," Julia cautioned.

"Oh, no. Don't worry. I always think of Troy as more of my daddy than my father is. He's always done the nice things that I thought daddies should do." That threatened tears from the two women.

"I think the best thing for you, Erica, is if you spent all of your time here naked," Julia said. "The problem is, that would weaken the impact on Brett, and he's a tough enough case, anyway. I have an idea, though.

"Why don't you just strip whenever you're in your room. Our guys here are awfully nice. Muriel can arrange for them to come to your room. You can study together, watch TV, show them your pictures, just talk, or whatever you want to do."

"While I'm naked?"

"Of course. That's what you want, isn't it?" Erica did the wordless mouth movements and her face color cycled rapidly through the spectrum.

"Why don't we start with Missy and Ted tonite. Then maybe Leah and Cy the next night. Does that sound good to you?"

[Phyllis] Late December

Phyllis Hayes was just about to call out to the three women who were sharing a table at the shopping center food court. They were all long-time friends from church, although two of them no longer attended since Reverend Matthews had suddenly left. Over a third of the former congregation had drifted away, and Phyllis no longer felt such righteous anger at the departed as she had at first.

From sneering at her daughter Leah's naivete for believing the scandalous tales about the Reverend, Phyllis had reached a state of troubling uncertainty. She still put up a good front of indignation whenever someone suggested that Matthews might really have impregnated his own young daughter.

Instead of announcing herself and joining the women, Phyllis approached from behind a pillar and sat with one of the large trash receptacles between herself and them. With the scant crowd, she could hear their conversation quite clearly.

" ... can't be anyone left who doesn't believe he's guilty, can there?" one of the departed women asked.

The woman who still attended answered "Well, I certainly know that he did it, but there are a few hold outs. You know, Phyllis was always such a skeptic and so suspicious about everything, but as far as I can tell, she still thinks Matthews is a saint."

"That's why we left, Ellen," one of the departed said. "We realized that a lot of people worshipped Matthews almost more than God. That's not right. How come you're still there if you know the truth?"

"It was a tough decision. Please don't think I'm criticizing you, but we have so much of our lives invested in that church. I can understand why you left for your kids."

"Yes, after both young Matthews and Leah Hayes went to that place, all of the kids at the school started asking questions. I don't think we treated our three that badly, but it was a wake up call, I'll tell you."

"Has anyone seen or talked to young William?"

"Oh, our son sees him at school all the time. He only answers to 'Cy', now. He won't say anything about who his real father is. He says there are legal restrictions on him. He does verify all of the stories about what an abusive tyrant the Reverend was at home."

"That's what's so hard to understand," one of the departed said. "There doesn't seem to be any real question that Matthews was a ... a ... well, I dare not use the most descriptive word. And I hear that all of the elders were given a complete packet of all the evidence, including DNA testing."

"You know what I think: I think Phyllis just refuses to admit the truth because it would lump her in with Matthews."

"How do you mean that? She would never commit incest or adultery."

"I mean the way she treated her children. My kids see Leah at school and they say she looks totally different. They say she is happy, stylishly dressed, and looks beautiful. Phyllis always had her looking so shapeless and plain. But you know what, the girl won't say anything bad about her parents to the other kids. It's hard to be around Phyllis, though, because she's so bitter about everything."

"And Leah and young William are a couple!"

"So you think Phyllis is just in denial?"

"It's hard to believe something and try to live your whole life by it, then find out it's all wrong."

"But our faith is not all wrong! It's one man who was wrong! I guess that's what we all have to learn. It's not about a man."

"I do feel bad for Phyllis. She was just doing things the way she was brought up. I just don't know how I would cope if I drove one of my kids away."

"That's two kids, you know. Word is that their son lied about his age to get into the army."

"Well, as soon as I heard about the whole mess, I yanked my kids out of that church school. I hear they had to close it just after the first of the year."

By this time, Phyllis had cycled through every known emotion. At first, she had been angry that the women were gossiping about her. Then, she had been stunned at their complete acceptance of the unbelievable accusations against the Reverend. When they had talked about Leah and her son, tears sprang unbidden to her eyes. Suddenly terrified that the other women might notice her, she eased out of her chair and moved away in a most undignified crouch.

"Why didn't you tell me the accusations about Matthews were true?" Phyllis demanded as soon as Norman came home from work. Since returning from the mall, she had not been able to sit still or eat anything. The three women had cracked the shell of certainty in which she lived, and she was completely disoriented.

Norman had had a very bad day. In fact, Norman had had a very bad year. He had known about the Matthews' home life, and he had wanted to leave the church long before Matthews fled. When he had received the evidence packet about Cy, he never once doubted it. Unfortunately, he did not have the nerve to even suggest leaving to his wife. He had been staying on as an elder even though his heart was not in it.

Another thing he had not had the nerve to do was to go and see Leah. He had always thought that they were not treating her right, but that was Phyllis's doing, and she would take no suggestions or criticism about it.

For years, he had endured the taunts of 'hen-pecked' and 'pussy-whipped' from his more ribald colleagues at work. Often they were lumped together with 'holy roller', 'Bible thumper', and other religious epithets, so he felt righteous about enduring them as the inevitable persecution of true believers.

Now, Phyllis was berating him for not convincing her. When had he ever been able to convince her of anything? It was probably more frustration than courage, but he did something totally out of character - he talked back.

"When could I ever convince you of anything? I even brought the evidence packet home, but you just yelled at me for the whole evening and refused to look at it. Don't you dare ask me why I didn't tell you! Nobody tells Phyllis Hayes anything!"

Her husband's unbelievable impertinence was just what Phyllis needed to cure the uncertainty and upset of what she had overheard at the mall. The question of the Reverend's guilt or innocence was pushed to the back as she dealt with the more immediate threat of a domestic uprising.

When the tirade began, Norman did something else out of character. Instead of reacting with shame and alarm as he always had before, he first showed weariness and resignation. Soon, his expression changed to indifference and he turned his back on his screeching wife and went to change clothes.

He was quite sure, with the level of Phyllis's anger, that she would attack him physically before long, and he would almost welcome it. Of course, he would never retaliate in kind, but it would give him something to hold over her. Well, maybe she would just manage to justify blows or scratches like she did every other transgression of her own.

There was no physical attack. What she overheard at the mall had impacted her so much that questions about Matthews eventually overrode Norman's impertinence. She fell into her old passionate defense of the great man.

While walking away from her, Norman suddenly turned and shouted right in her face. "If you actually want to know the truth, why don't you talk to Naomi. I'll tell her to call you."

"You ... call me ... when will you see Naomi?" Phyllis demanded after her initial surprised stammering.

"Sunday, I am going to church where Leah and Naomi go. I'm handing in my resignation tomorrow, and it will be my last time through those doors," he stated emphatically.

Outright rebellion and leaving the church combined were more than even Phyllis could react to on that day. She staggered to a chair and sat staring at Norman in disbelief. When Lean had left, she could still console herself that she had firm control of her husband. Now, he was threatening actions that she had definitely not approved of. She had the very strong impression that he would actually do what he threatened. Her rigid, orderly, secure world was about to lose its last remaining foundation stone.

[Norman] Late December

Norman had to admit to himself that he was as rigid as his wife. Sitting at a table at Lindsey's with Leah and Cy and Naomi, enjoying a very good meal, his main feeling was one of unreality. It angered him to admit how lost he felt without Phyllis's ever-present control. Except at work, he was just not used to handling social or group situations by himself.

He had followed up on his threat to resign, and he had just come from Leah's church. Watching the way his daughter interacted with so many people had astonished him. She had never seemed gregarious before, but now, it seemed that half of the congregation knew her.

The way Leah and Cy were with each other also intrigued Norman. There was an ease, a naturalness that he just could not relate to. The number of casual, affectionate looks, gestures, and touches could probably be attributed to young love, but had he and Phyllis ever been like that? Of course, he had to wonder if they were having sex, but he could not muster the proper outrage at the thought.

As astonishing as anything was Naomi. She looked at least ten years younger. She and Cy and Leah shared hugs, held hands, and walked with their arms around each other. That was something the Reverend would never have tolerated.