Chapter 16

To perhaps alleviate some of the confusion of many, many names, here is a list of some that are mentioned, but were introduced in previous episodes of the Transformations series.

Dr. Julia Waxman, Psychiatrist, Director of Transformation

Frank Waxman, Julia's husband, General Manager of Transformations, former fashion exec, General Manager of Magnuson Foundation.

Gerald Magnuson, wealthy philanthropist, primary backer of Transformations.

Paul Ventri, CFO of Transformations and president of his own accounting firm.

Norma Ventri, wife of Paul.

Mark Ventri, son of Norma and Paul, on Tee staff, photo/video/Net specialist, engaged to Lindsey Hall.

Ryan Herwaldt, R.N., Medical Director of Transformations, president of startup medical equipment firm.

Carol Herwaldt, wife of Ryan, assistant to Food Service Manager.

Michelle, R.N. part-time support nurse.

Gretchen Berg, Food Service Manager.

Andy Berg, staff, also employee of Paul's firm.

Andi Berg, wife of Andy, staff member.

Trish, staff member, girlfriend of Terry Torvold.

Terry Torvold, star HS footballer, son of Shannon Torvold, original employee, now only on emergency call.

Shannon Torvold, original 'patient' of immersion therapy concept, before Transformations.

Yvonne Torres, nutritionist, supports Transformations.

Lindsey Hall, country singer in Jenny Ballard's troupe, engaged to Mark Ventri

Mary & Floyd Hall, Lindsey's parents, once sentenced to the Tee for sponsor attempted kidnapping of Lindsey to Rev. Schermer's retreat.

Sonja & Sarah Schermer, daughter of Rev. Frank Schermer, help bring him down after his attacks on Transformations. Members of Jenny Ballards troupe.

Jenny Ballard, long-time star country singer.

Hank Ballard, songwriter, 'adopted' Jenny when she was disowned by parents.

Margo Ballard, lyricist with husband Hank.

[Janice] Mid September

The Ralston's, Ted's parents, were a real problem at Lindsey's by Ted's second week in residence. To try to keep it as home-like as possible, there was a very open visitor policy. The assumption had been that because of bad blood between parent and child, parental visits would not be frequent. Janice Ralston, though, quite literally wanted to move in so she could properly take care of her baby, once she was convinced that he was not coming home.

What was worse was the way she treated everyone else there. Another girl had moved in, in addition to Connie, and one more boy. Janice was just plain hateful to the girls and tried to order all of the others around as if catering to Ted was the whole reason that Lindsey's was there.

Julia finally asked the Ralstons to meet with her. "In this meeting, I am the Director of Lindsey's Place, not a psychiatrist. Since you are not my patients, confidentiality requirements do not apply. I am going to start by asking you a shrink's question, though. Mrs. Ralston, what is a parent's primary task, regarding their offspring?"

"Wh ... why are you asking me that?" Janice complained.

Deciding that answering the question led too much toward a session atmosphere, she decide on a soliloquy. "A parent's primary responsibility is to turn out a successful, happy, well-adjusted adult. That means, as the child moves into adulthood, the main job of the parents becomes 'de-parenting'. That involves doing fewer and fewer of the parental things that were done when the offspring was still a child."

"But Ted is still a child!" Janice objected.

"Not true. He is part child and part adult. He can father children, now. Your job is to help the adult part of him increase properly as the child part inevitably shrinks. Ted believes that you are doing everything you can to keep him in child status - young child status, at that. Comparison with his contemporaries enforces that belief in him. The mildest term he uses is 'smothering'. The stronger terms include 'straitjacket' and 'prison'."

"Oh, no! He can't think that way about me!" Janice shrieked. "It's not right! That's not what I was doing!" She broke down in sobs.

"Mrs. Ralston, every relationship has two sides. Ted believes that is exactly what you were doing to him. That's what drove him to leave. Now, I am only going to tell you what I have discovered about Ted's feelings and the reasons he left. I will also tell you that caring, knowledgeable people who know your family agree completely."

There was another pause for more agonized wails from Janice. "For obvious reasons, I am not going to try to tell you how to fix this situation. I do think that you should seek a counsellor who can help you.

"What I must do, for the sake of Ted, who is now under my care, is impose some strict limits on how much time you can spend visiting Ted here. It is also for the sake of the other people at Lindsey's. When you are there, you treat the other residents very badly, especially the girls."

"But ... but he shouldn't be living there with girls! It's not right! They could ... they could..."

"One of them could take him away from you, couldn't they?" Julia finished. "Mrs. Ralston. That is exactly what will happen someday. You should be helping Ted toward that day. You should be helping him learn how to interact well with girls. Don't you want him to have a long, happy married life? Don't you want him to give you grandchildren?

"The way you act toward the girls, you are trying to teach Ted that they are evil and that he should have nothing to do with them. Are you trying to turn him into a homosexual?" That last blow was something Julia would never have said to a patient, but Janice had stirred up a lot of ill will. Having her as a major irritant was not a good way for Lindsey's to start.

Rather than showing any repentance at all, Janice let loose with a tirade at Julia and at the whole idea of Lindsey's. Watching the woman, Julia could see that she was teetering on the edge of rationality, and she made an on-the-spot decision.

"Mrs. Ralston! Mrs. Ralston!" Julia almost shouted, finally getting Janice to calm down. "I am offering you two choices. First, you can walk out of here right now, and I will see that you are not allowed into Lindsey's to see your son."

"You can't do that! It's not right!" Janice wailed, then once again, she went into a rage.

"Mrs. Ralston, the other choice is that you immediately undress, walk through that door, and check in to Transformations as a resident. That way, you can earn the right to see Ted again."

While Janice was in the midst of still another rage, Julia managed to ask Ray "Mr. Ralston, do I have your permission to sedate your wife and take her in there? I fear that commitment to a psyche ward may be the result if we don't do this."

Ray sat almost frozen, unable to believe what was happening to his family, and terrified at the screaming woman who looked like his wife. Finally, he gave a weak nod.

"Mr. Ralston, can you afford the cost of at least three months here for your wife?" Again there was the nod.

Within a couple of minutes, Ryan was in the office. He and Ray held Janice still while Julia gave her an injection that quieted her down in a few minutes. Julia made Ray undress her, and when Ryan led her into the women's section, she was passive.

[Ray] Mid September

With Janice gone, Julia and Ray just looked at each other for a minute, then Ray said "Dr. Waxman, I guess a lot of this is my fault. I have never liked the way Janice has dealt with Ted, but I ... well, Ted gets his personality from me. I'm very non-confrontational.

"I feel guilty that I am making Janice suffer for my own shortcomings, but right now, the issue is Ted." Ray went on. "I can afford the tuition, and I want to pay for Ted, also. How long do you think she should stay here?" Ray asked.

"Of course, I have not done a psychological workup on her, but my first guess is the three months I mentioned. I will tell you that I believe Ted should stay a few months after that. If Janice cannot adapt to him living away, then we would not have achieved the desired change."

Julia had decided that, if she was being thrown into the task of repairing the Ralston family, Ray needed work, too. "Ray, my sense is that there is an imbalance in the authority and control in your family. Is that a fair analysis."

Ray hung his head and nodded. "Whenever Janice leaves here, the changes in her and the experiences she has had may widen the gulf between the two of you. That is something we worry a lot about here.

"I am going to test your level of commitment toward reuniting and repairing your family. There is a bathroom just down the hall. I want you to go there and undress, and return here naked. Some other women will be here with me when you return and we will discuss the program I have worked out for you."

Seeing the absolute panic on Ray's face, Julia told him "Remember, Ray, to us, nudity is nothing remarkable. That probably will not help you a lot, but keep it in mind. As I said, this is partly a test of your seriousness. When Janice comes home, nudity will be normal and natural to her. If it is not for you, well, I think you can see how it could increase your problems. Now, are you serious enough to do this? There is a shower in the bathroom. Take your time and reduce the chance of an erection if you need to."

A main objective of her 'program' for Ray, that she was thinking up on the fly, would be to try to develop some more 'backbone' for him where his wife was concerned. If the parents' relationship was not more balanced when Janice returned, it would still not be a good place for Ted to live.

When Ray just sat there without saying anything, Julia gently told him "Ray, what Janice is about to go through will be pretty traumatic for her. As you said yourself, you bear quite a bit of the blame for Ted's flight. Do you want healing badly enough to share part of what Janice will have to do?"

He knew that his manhood was being challenged. Except when it came to Janice, he was not a timid or submissive individual. His career success proved that. Now, because he had never found the will to interact with his wife as an equal, he was going to have to endure some serious embarrassment. Well, he deserved it! At that point, anger overcame his fear, and he walked toward the bathroom.

In the shower, his precautionary masturbation was an all too familiar activity since Ted had left. Rather than Ted, Ray had become the target of most of his wife's anguish and anger, and sex between them was out of the question. His own emotional level was elevated over Ted's departure, just like Janice's. For him, it increased his need, rather than squelching it as seemed to have happened to her.

He brought himself off before soaping down, but when he came to washing his crotch, he found himself still far too stiff to want to face a group of women. He could not remember the last time he had done himself twice, but if there was ever a time..."

The ten yard walk from the bathroom to Julia's office seemed to take forever. He was just chiding himself for his bashfulness when Muriel came through a door that he had not noticed. That fact that he knew her from numerous visits to Lindsey's made the shock even greater. Her hand placed gently on his shoulder was meant for reassurance, but it missed its intent.

In Julia's office, Gretchen was waiting with Julia. She was the only other staff woman that Julia could get to join them on short notice. Her presence was appropriate, though.

"Ray, if you intend to make Janice a resident here, I want you to start your own personal remake, and I want you to start it immediately. I assume because of your professional position that you could arrange your daily schedule for a period of time so that you could spend about two hours here every midday. Is that correct?"

He tried to think about the question, rather than his exposure, and decided that he could indeed make those arrangements. "There could be some days where that won't work," he was able to say.

"Just let Muriel know ahead of time, and we'll try to make other arrangements. Weekends we will have to play by ear. I assume you are seldom anywhere that Janice is not aware of."

"Is it that obvious?" he asked shamefacedly.

"Yes, Ray, I'm afraid it is, but you will be working on that. When you arrive each day, you will undress immediately and spend your whole time here naked. Gretchen will make sure that you have a good lunch, and Muriel will be responsible for your workout program and other things that you will need to do. Tomorrow about 11:15?"

He nodded. Julia had him sign a few necessary forms, then told him that he could get dressed and leave.

Once again, the center section would find a unique use.

[Janice] Mid September

It was the first time that a resident had been brought into the Tee on an emergency basis, against their will. Julia was confident that her judgement of an imminent breakdown would hold up against any action. It was one of the times that she was thankful that everything that happened was secretly recorded. There had never been a need to use any of the recordings, and she hoped that there never would be. Still, their presence was comforting.

As he took Janice into the women's section, Julia had told Ryan to take her to the bed in the little in-house clinic. There had never been any drills or procedures for this type of situation, but the great sensitivity of all of the staff and residents was once again demonstrated.

Ryan just made a sweeping arm motion to the first woman who looked their way, then pointed toward the route he would take to the clinic. In hindsight, it might have been better to take Janice through the outside hallway, but hindsight is hindsight. Within moments, there was no one in sight between Ryan and the inside clinic entrance.

It was mid-evening, and Ryan was not sure if Julia wanted Janice out for the night. He would have to wait for her direction on that, as well as another injection, if needed. He knew that Janice would be quite passive for nearly the next two hours.

She was able to walk with his support, and she did look around. She did not seem at all curious about her surroundings, though, and she did not seem to realize that she was naked and leaning against a man other than her husband.

Julia's decision was to let Janice come fully awake and aware and deal with the shock and anger late that evening when it was be the least disruptive to the other residents. That also allowed Julia to get Norma and another staffer to be her naked 'buddies' right away.

It was after midnight when the predictable shock and anger from the awakened Janice had subsided, simply because of her physical exhaustion. Julia had waited until that time to even attempt to talk to her newest patient.

"Janice, listen to me very carefully. My objective, and the objective of everyone here at Transformations, is to get your family back together, with Ted living at home again, just as soon as possible. Do you believe that?"

"Then why did you take him away from me?"

"No, Janice, we did not take him away from you. We gave him a chance to leave and he took it. You drove him away, Janice."

"No! No! That's not right. I was just being the best mother I could!"

"Janice, Ted told you that he left because of you, didn't he?" When Janice refused to answer, Julia pressed. "Didn't he? Didn't he?" Janice finally had to nod.

"Now, Janice, you can survive here at Transformations, not changing your mind about anything, until we give up and throw you out. Right now, that is what you are thinking, isn't it?" A hard glare was the answer.

"I can guarantee you that if you do that, Ted will never again live at home with you." That brought a shriek from Janice.

"You are an intelligent woman, Janice. If you open your mind to the people here; if you honestly compare your relationship with Ted to other mothers and sons, you will see why he left you. You will see the changes in attitude and actions that you will have to make to bring him home."

"All of us here at Transformations want you to succeed, Janice. We don't want you to have to be here any longer than necessary. I need to tell you this, though, as a licensed psychiatrist. If you decide to leave here tonight, which is your right, I believe that you will end up in a psyche ward of a hospital within a week. If you go off again like you did in the office, Ray will have to call 911."

Mention of the psyche ward drove all of the belligerence from Janice's gaze. She looked sober and glum, and suddenly, very, very weary. Norma, with her wonderful instincts, laid Janice back on the clinic cot, covered her up, and shooed the others from the room.

[Ray] Mid September

Ray thought that he had gotten by the worst part when he had to walk into Julia's office naked. That opinion changed quickly when he arrived at the Tee the next day. Muriel let him in the main door, then told him to undress and leave his things in a locker.

Norma, whom he had not met the night before, was there to greet them, clothed for once. As she led him right to the exercise area, Muriel explained "This section is normally all nude, but we are making an exception for right now. Let's get you started on a workout sequence. When was the last time you did any weight work regularly?"

A little later, Muriel told him "For the treadmill, just use these generic shoes for today. You can bring you own tomorrow. You'd better use this." With that, she handed him a jock strap.

When Ray headed to his car to return to work, he felt warmth and tightness in places that had not been stressed for some time.

[Matthews Family] Mid September

For the next week and a half, life went along normally, if anything about the new lives of the Matthews family could be considered normal. Naomi chose working herself to exhaustion as the best way to cope with the many emotions warring in her mind.

A positive emotion was the immense relief at being out from under the control of her husband, whom she had come to view as a monster. A negative emotion was the persistent feeling that every time another person, particularly the boys and the men, looked at her naked body, she was committing a sin. An accompanying emotion, both positive and negative, was the feeling that she was spending time in that little sinful, naked hell as retribution for her silence in what was done to her daughter and to Carter Calloway.

A positive emotion was the assurance that her precious grandson, Cy, was free to realize what she considered his enormous potential. A negative emotion was the fear that the terrible secret that she and her daughter carried might someday become known and destroy what happiness the three of them had.

The psychological defense mechanism that had allowed Rachel to survive the multiple traumas of her fifteenth year insulated her from the emotional battles that troubled her mother. It was not that she was always happy, but she could use her detachment to keep out the pain of too much pondering, too much feeling.

Like the three-year-old that Cy had likened her to, Rachel followed her mother through the day exactly. Even though much younger, she ended up in the same exhausted state as Naomi.

Every three days or so there was another meeting with Cy, and that was really the focus of Rachel's existence. All of the people at the Tee, staff and residents, were very kind to her, instinctively sensing the kind of world that she lived in.

Rachel was very intelligent, and she was able to converse with people in a very normal fashion. The difference only showed in situations that in some way could stress her. Then, her special, protected world kept the intruding emotions out. That was how she handled the nudity. Essentially, she just acted as if she was not naked. Nothing was wrong, so nothing could cause her stress, fear, or guilt.

A consequence of Rachel's detachment about her nudity was that every male in the place fell in love with her. She was very attractive, and the natural serene way that she went about her life just made her irresistible. The other women were not offended by her obvious appeal to the men. They knew that they were not in any kind of competition, and they sensed the deep, underlying tragedy that must have caused Rachel's state of mind. Sympathy easily trumped jealousy.

For Cy, almost every day was a new experience. His days were full. He did not have to study nearly as much as at the church school, but he had been immediately enrolled in driving school. With the visits with his mother and grandmother, his evenings filled up.

No matter how full his time was, though, he sought out every possible minute to just talk with his new siblings. All of the kids had suffered from isolation to some extent, so Cy had no problem finding someone to hang out with. He and Leah shared the same faith and had the most commonality of experience, but he did not limit himself to her at all.

He found the other boys, and sometimes the girls, more than willing to enter into little competitions on all of the various equipment available to them. Connie also loved to compete. Feeling a little guilty about it, Cy found himself attracted to Connie's openness, her volatility, and even her penchant for profanity. He recognized that even if she had some of the same problems, she looked at life from a different angle than he did. It fascinated him.

Besides Rachel and Naomi, there was another constant in Cy's life. Having revealed his thoughts about his parentage, he was impatient for answers. About every two days, he called Marty to find out if anything was happening.

Although she would have liked to do so sooner, Julia finally sat down with Cy in her office at the Tee on Thursday evening. In a move that did not surprise her from what she had heard and observed, Cy made the opening comments. "Dr. Waxman, I really appreciate the chance to see Mom and Grandma, and I know that going to church means a lot to them. I am guessing that you have bent the rules for them."

"Yes, I have," Julia agreed, then asked a question. "Is going to church not important to you?"

"Oh, yes. But no one has to break any rules for me to get there."

"If the women were not allowed to leave here, would you still go?"

"Yes, I would."

"If Leah wasn't going, either, would you still go?"

"As long as I could find someone to drive me."

"Cy, I know that you asked for some legal advice. Are you getting the help you wanted?"

"I like Ms. Granville - Marty. I think she is trying to do what I asked for, but I have not heard whether she has had any success. It's only been a few days."

"Cy, anything you tell me is just as confidential as what you tell your lawyer. Could I ask what you needed Marty's help with?"

Cy looked at her in silence for several moments, then gave a slight nod and began telling Julia about what he had learned and what his suspicions were.

"Cy, let's talk about your reaction to the answers you might get back. First of all, what will you feel, what will you do if Marty cannot get a sample from Mr. Calloway?"

Without a pause, Cy answered. "Somehow, some way, I will get a sample. Even if it is not a legal one, it will give me the answer I need."

"OK, I will pretend I did not hear about your determination to break the law," Julia said with a small smile. "Now, what if test results show that Mr. Calloway is your biological father?"

"Dr., I don't want to sound arrogant, but I don't see any way that could be true. All of the little clues I have tell me that he is not."

"I see. So the tests are just a formality in your mind?"

"For as anxious as I am for the results, I guess I sounded too confident," Cy said with a grin.