Chapter 14

The next day Paula spent all morning with Bobby. She was distracted, because, as she had masturbated the night before, all she could think about was that Bobby had seen her naked, right there in that room. He had put her in the same bed she was lying in. He’d said he thought about ... things. Had he stood, staring at her naked body? Had he wanted to touch her? had he touched her? Maybe just a little?

She kept thinking about that as she mudded the corners in the room they were working on. He had her do the corners because he said she was better at it than he was. When they were done she asked what was next.

“Nothing,” he said. “We’re out of money. I had the sheetrock mud, so we could do that, but paint and the rest of the electrical and plumbing will have to wait.”

“That’s too bad,” said Paula. “This is going to be a neat place to live.”

“Maybe not,” he said. “My sisters will be living out here with me, you know.”

“You love them,” she said. “I can see that. You guys get along a lot better than my sister and I do.” She blinked. “Did.” That made her think about what had caused the split. “Bobby, can I ask you a question?”

“Uh huh.”

“New Year’s Eve. You said you thought about me ... when I was naked.”

“Not really,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“You were passed out, you smelled bad, and I was upset,” he said. “It’s kind of hard to be horny when those are the circumstances.”

“Oh.” He had burst her bubble. She’d been pretending that he’d stood over her, wanting her, but just been too much of a gentleman to take advantage of her. Her dejection must have been communicated in her voice, because he spoke.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he said. “You’re a beautiful young woman. I noticed that. If it had been under different circumstances, you might have been in real trouble.”

She felt better immediately. Something, she couldn’t tell what, urged her to say more.

“There was a point where I almost wished you had raped me.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” he said.

“I wasn’t joking,” she said, looking at him.

“You want to explain that?” he asked.

“It’s just that I’m scared to death of sex. If you’d done that while I was unconscious, it would be over, and I wouldn’t have to be afraid anymore.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I think I ever heard,” he said.

“Why?” she asked, taken aback only a little at being called ‘stupid’.

“Because the real joy of sex is experiencing it. And whatever makes you afraid of it won’t go away just because it happened while you were passed out.”

“I like the first part,” she said. “You know, the flirting, like when we danced.” She frowned. “It’s just that going all the way part that makes me scared.”

“I think you’ll be fine when you meet the right guy,” said Bobby. “Things like being scared have a way of taking care of themselves, when you’re really excited.”

“That’s easy for a guy to say,” she said. “All you have to do is shove it in.”

“You’re just full of stupid remarks today,” said Bobby. He grinned to take the sting out of it. “Making love to a woman is hard work. You have to pay attention to her and make sure she gets to where she needs to go, before you take care of yourself. It’s all about making her happy. Then, when you know she’s happy, it’s okay to be happy about it yourself.”

“I don’t think other men are like that,” said Paula. “Every time I’ve gotten close, the guy was saying he was dying and begging. It never sounded much like he cared how I felt. One of them even lied to me. I told him I was scared, and he said it wouldn’t hurt. I know it hurts. Every girl I ever talked to about it said it hurt the first time.”

“How many girls have you talked to about that?” asked Bobby.

“I don’t know ... four or five maybe. It doesn’t exactly come up in casual conversation, you know.”

“It doesn’t have to hurt,” said Bobby. “At least in my experience, you can make it hurt as little as possible.”

“How many girls have you ... done it with?” she asked.

“You don’t want to know,” he said.

“Yes I do.”

“No, you don’t,” he said firmly.

“What are you ... some kind of stud?” She laughed.

He only smiled. “Trust me, with the right guy, you’ll have a good time. Why are you in a hurry anyway?”

“I’m not in a hurry,” she said. “It’s just that when you don’t do that with a guy, he loses interest.”

“That’s not true either,” said Bobby. “I have a friend. She’s one of my best friends and we’ve never done it.”

“But she’s not your girlfriend,” said Paula.

“I guess not,” said Bobby. He frowned then.

“Do you want to do it with her?” asked Paula.

“Yes.” His answer was immediate. “But it wouldn’t work. She got hurt, really bad, and she’s not ready for that. I get the feeling she’s not interested in me that way anyway.”

“You should ask her,” said Paula.

“That’s silly,” he said, smiling.

“No it’s not!”

“What am I supposed to say?” asked Bobby. “Hey, Connie, I’ve got the hots for you and I want to boff you all day long. How ‘bout it?”

Paula laughed. “No ... not like that, of course. But a girl knows what she wants to do ... and not do. Men just never ask.”

“How about you?” he asked, on impulse. “What would you do ... and not do ... with me?”

Paula’s eyes opened wide. She felt blood suffuse her cheeks.

“You already know I like to rub up against you when we dance,” she said, evasively.

“Come on,” he taunted. “You’re the one who suggested this. Is that all you want to do with me?”

She was quiet for several heartbeats and he thought he might have pushed her too far.

“Maybe not.” Her voice was not very loud. She watched him, suddenly fearful again. She wasn’t sure what was making her fearful, but it clamped down on her stomach.

“Interesting,” he said. “You know you didn’t actually answer the question.”

She blinked. He went on.

“Isn’t it interesting that you told me what to do, but it turned out you couldn’t do it yourself? I think you just proved me right. I don’t think asking a woman what she wants is going to work.”

“I just wasn’t ready!” she yelped. “It’s not fair to just spring that on a girl when you hardly know her.”

“I’ve spent as much or more time with you than I spent with the first couple of women I made love to,” he said. He thought back to Tilly, and Martha, and even Sherry. All of those relationships had blossomed in less than a day or two.

“This is weird,” she said.

“It was your idea,” he reminded her.

“Okay, okay, give me a minute.”

He did and she immediately wished he’d kept talking. She looked at him. He was handsome. She’d been very pleased when she first saw him. He was older by years than any other man she’d spent time with. That had attracted her too. She’d felt more grown up, in the arms of an older man. Then she’d ruined it by getting drunk. She wondered if he would have made a move on her if she hadn’t gotten wasted.

“Are you attracted to me?” she asked suddenly.

“I’d have to say yes,” he answered. “When you’re not drunk,” he added.

“If I hadn’t gotten drunk that night ... would you have tried something with me?”

“Hard to say,” he mused. “You got me going with the way you danced with me. I thought you were very forward. I was worried something might happen.”

“Worried?”

“Being your date was a favor for a friend of a friend,” he said. “That’s not exactly the right situation to try getting a girl naked in.”

“You did get me naked,” she said.

“That was different,” he countered. “I wasn’t going to ruin our sheets by leaving your stinky clothes on.”

“Did you look at me?”

“Of course.”

She went silent for another dozen heartbeats.

“If I was dating you, I’d want to kiss you. I wouldn’t mind if you touched me ... a little.”

Bobby snorted. “And I’m supposed to figure out how little to touch you?”

“I’d let you know.”

“I thought the whole purpose of all this was so that we’d both know what was going to happen and not happen,” he pointed out.

“Okay, you can’t fuck me!” she snapped. “There!”

“I could live with that,” he said calmly.

“You could?” She was shocked.

“For a while anyway,” he said. “I’m pretty sure you’d change your mind, once we got to know each other better.”

“Why?” she asked.

“I’ve done this before,” he said.

“Were they virgins?”

“Some of them. Maybe half.”

“It sounds like you’ve done this a lot!” she said breathlessly.

“I told you not to ask,” he reminded her.

“But you would be willing to kiss me and touch me, and that’s all?”

“Of course,” he said. “If that’s all you needed, that’s all I’d do.”

“But what about ... your needs? Some of those guys tried to tell me they were in pain.”

“I know how to masturbate,” he said calmly.