Chapter 13

The hostility Mirriam felt towards Paula, who had brought so much trouble and danger to her family, seeped away as she listened to the painful pleading of the girl on the phone. It was clear that Millie was saying hurtful things. Mirriam heard the yelled “slut” clear across the kitchen. And, of course, the girl’s protestations of virtue.

Mirriam thanked her lucky stars that Bobby had taken care of the girl, instead of taking advantage. She felt bad almost instantly at thinking Bobby would consider taking advantage. She had argued with herself about her own relationship with her son. She knew she was weak ... that she couldn’t resist him. She knew that he pressed her sometimes. But he wasn’t taking advantage of her. She admitted that to herself. And she knew he hadn’t taken advantage of the twins. They spent too many nights in his bed for her to believe they ever regretted being there. They thought they were so clever and quiet, waiting for their mother to go to bed to join Bobby. Sometimes she wanted to laugh at them. But they were so full of love for Bobby, and their babies, she couldn’t look at what had happened there as anything but a joyful experience for them all.

Just like all of Joe’s babies had turned out to be a joyful experience for her. It had been hard, sometimes. But she wouldn’t change a minute of it, if she had the chance to do so.

The girl was crying when she slammed the phone down. Mirriam couldn’t just let her be in pain alone like that.

She went to hold the crying young woman.

It was only minutes before the phone had rung again. It was Will Bradford and he asked for Bobby. Mirriam went back to the kitchen to be with Paula after she called for Bobby to come to the phone.

“What’s up?” asked Bobby.

“Christy just took Erica to the hospital,” said Will. “She’s in labor.”

“Well, she’s been wanting to get this over with,” said Bobby. “Is she okay?”

“She’s asking for you,” said Will. “Except she also said for me to tell you not to come to the hospital.” He sounded exasperated.

“Any idea what that really means?” asked Bobby.

“It means she wants you there, but she’s worried that if you show up it will start rumors about who the father of her baby is.”

“What do you think I should do?” asked Bobby. It had been a weird day already. What was a little more weirdness?

“I think you and I and Tilly and Jake should all go see her at the same time,” said Will. “Then people will just think it’s the folks who were associated with the musical seeing the director. I could probably get some kids to go see her too, but I don’t know if they’ll let them in.”

“Let’s not get the kids involved,” said Bobby. “I like your idea about Jake and Tilly. Have you talked to them?”

“They’re already on the way by now, if what Tilly said happens.”

“I’ll pick you up in half an hour,” said Bobby.

“I’ll be ready.”

Paula wasn’t stupid. She had listened to her mother. She did remember all the warnings. But, once out from under the dominating thumb of her parents, she also found out that there were all kinds of opportunities in the world to have fun and be joyful. It was fun to be with men who doted on you ... spent money on you ... wanted you. It was fun to flirt and kiss and rub up against them. And, when she started feeling those emotions that might get her in trouble, she could put on the brakes. That part wasn’t fun, but she could do it.

It had never occurred to her that men might be different. She just naturally assumed they could stop too. Wasn’t that what had happened last night? She couldn’t remember any of it, but she knew she had been naked in front of a man. Completely naked! That had never happened before. She was a good girl. She’d always been a good girl. And the man who could have done anything he wanted to her had stopped. Her mother was wrong! She had gotten through last night safely, with her virginity intact!

Now, though, her sister had called her a slut. Her mother would agree. She knew that. And Millie would tell her mother everything. She would detail all of Paula’s transgressions and then carefully explain everything she had done to try to correct the errant sister.

It was knowing that she would never be able to go home again that broke her heart. It was those sobs that were wracking her body when loving arms went around her and she was pulled into a comforting embrace.

Supper only heightened the comfort for Paula. The twins, once they saw their mother accept someone, just naturally joined in. Bobby was still gone, so she didn’t have to face him. He’d been investigated and it was really all her fault. At least that’s the way she thought of it. But they all treated her as if she were welcome, and their relaxed attitude seeped into her and let her relax too.

Paula had never really been around babies for more than half an hour at a time, or so. Perhaps because Paula was their age, the twins assumed she wouldn’t mind if they fed their babies at the table. It did give her pause, for a few seconds, when Matilda pulled up her shirt as if to display one breast for some unknown reason. The baby that eagerly sucked at her nipple, though, explained it instantly. Paula looked at Mirriam, who was looking at her as if she were evaluating something. When Paula went back to eating, though, her hostess said nothing. Betty soon followed suit and there were two noisy babies at the table. What astonished Paula was how sensual the wet sucking sounds and tiny gulps sounded. She wondered if they did that when Bobby was around and could see them.

Then, after supper, there was the gentle hum of various activities going on. She joined the twins, who sat in front of the TV, with the sound turned down low, burping the babies and then changing diapers. She was astonished at how loving and gentle the women were with the tiny wriggling things ... how they cooed at them and played with their feet. She heard the clink of dishes in the kitchen. It was so calm in this house, not tense like she remembered her own home to have been.

She thought about that. What had made her own home tense? Was it the constant lectures about the dangers of life? Was it that she didn’t remember any soft talking? She remembered how whenever the TV had been on, there had been no talking allowed. Especially during Perry Mason. Even if she had a question about homework, her mother would wave her hand, without breaking eye contact with the television, and go, “SHHHH!”

Paula realized she had been napping when her head jerked up. Mirriam was reading a book, curled up in a chair. Betty was still there, playing a stand up and sit down game with Veronica. Paula got up.

“I think I’ll go to bed,” she said.

“Good night,” said Mirriam, looking up from her book. “I hope you sleep well.”

In bed, Paula thought about how her life had changed. In less than twenty-four hours, she had lost her family and struck out on her own. She still had one semester of college to complete. She had no idea what she’d do then. She knew she was supposed to get a job, but it hadn’t seemed that urgent until now. Now, she knew she wouldn’t be welcome at home. She had become the black sheep of her family. Now, she really needed a job after school. What would it be like? She decided it wouldn’t be much different than being at school. She’d go to work instead of to classes. She already did her own laundry and shopping and cooking. Maybe she would meet the man she could let herself loose with.

As she drifted off to sleep, she wondered what falling in love would be like.

Erica gave a final convulsive push and felt the pain, stretching and pressure just vanish. She sank back with a gasp, panting and looked up at Will. He had been allowed in the delivery room as her closest family member, and had held her hand while she went through all the things she’d learned in the Lamaze classes she’d taken. She hadn’t taken a coach with her to the classes. She’d been convinced she didn’t need one.

Now, though, she looked at Will with adoring eyes. He’d been such a rock, asking her what she was supposed to be doing, making her concentrate when her own frazzled thoughts threatened to make it all come undone. She’d done it all without drugs and felt prouder, at this moment, then she’d ever felt in her life.

“Eleven fifty-two!” said an excited nurse.

“Just made it,” said the grinning doctor. “Congratulations on having the first baby born on New Year’s Day in Granger in I don’t know how long.” The singularly identifiable noise of a crying baby filled the room.

“Is she all right?” asked Erica anxiously, forgetting Will and everything else. “Where is she?”

“The baby is fine,” said the doctor. “Though there is one tiny problem.”

“What?” asked Erica, trying to sit up.

“She has something between her legs that girls aren’t supposed to have,” said the doctor, grinning. “You’ve had a fine, healthy baby boy.”

“A boy?” Erica’s voice quavered. “She can’t be a boy.”

“Well, like most men, this one already isn’t listening to his mother,” said the doctor, taking a bundle from a nurse and setting it gently on Erica’s breasts. “Now, you take a look at him, but I need you to push a little more, so we can get rid of that pesky placenta, okay?”

Erica unwrapped her baby, and stared into a face that that was round and pale under a pile of still wet black hair. Her fingers went to a hand and lifted it. She stared in awe at the perfectly formed tiny fingers. She placed one fingertip in the palm of that miniature hand and those fingers gripped her with surprising strength. The face twisted and the mouth opened. A noise came out that sounded like nothing she had ever heard in her life. It was a yearning noise.

“Push now, please,” ordered the doctor.

She did, not thinking about it, while she uncovered the rest of the baby.

“Well, look at that,” said Will.

She stared at the tiny penis that stuck straight out from the baby’s groin. Her fingers went to feel it, because she still couldn’t believe she’d had a boy. She’d known it was a girl... felt it was a girl. She hadn’t even looked at any boy’s names. She’d already chosen the name. Rowena Patricia was what she had planned on naming her daughter.

Her son’s arms moved convulsively and his mouth opened again, making more noise.