I was sitting at the casino bar in one of the bigger clubs on the strip. Like usual, minding my own business. When out of the blue, this little dude, Japanese I'd say, walks right up, bows his head and says, "Scuse prease ... Engrish not so good for Kendo."

Now I can't help but wander what the hell this guy is up to, but what the hey, no reason to be rude, "You're doin' fine pal, what's on your mind?"

"Uh ... Kendo berry much rike to talk for you. Prease say what name you own?" he managed.

A little awkward on the syntax, but I got the drift; "Mike ... and you are ... Kendo?" I said slowly pointing at my chest then his.

It was stupid, I know, why is it that when you speak to someone who uses English as a second language, your voice gets very slow and louder?

Kendo either didn't mind or was grateful that I was going slowly, I couldn't tell which but he was smiling, "Would rike ask question to Mike."

"Go ahead buddy, shoot." I urged.

"Uh ... Kendo rike to know if wha happen in Begas, stay in Begas?"

"Well ... I guess so. I never gave it too much thought," I said, wondering myself it that was true.

Kendo smiled again, "Ah ... berry good, berry, berry good," he nodded, "Kendo rike to ask Mike for berry big favor. Kendo ask Mike to sreep on wife."

I almost choked on the beer I had in my mouth, "Excuse me ... did you just ask me to fu ... err, sleep with your wife?"

"Ah yes ... Kendo exprain. Wife no sreep with other man before Kendo. Wife think Kendo not so good for fucking. Kendo ruv wife berry much, wish wife to be berry happy."

"But ... why me?" I snorted.

"Ah..." he nodded, "Wife choose Mike, wife hope Mike has berry, berry big penis. Wife say Kendo penis no good. Not so good to make wife berry happy," he grinned.

I guess the world wasn't as big as I thought. Somehow I always figured that women from other parts of the globe would be different, it seems that the grass always looks greener no matter where you live.

"Kendo, I'm not saying I will and I'm not saying I won't, but I have to know how you feel about all this. Are you one of those guys that gets his rocks off watching another man fuck his wife?

"Where are you gonna be when I'm balls deep in your wife, over in the corner jackin' off?" I expressed my concern.

"Ah ... no Mike, Kendo not watch. Kendo onry want wife be happy. Kendo wait in casino," he didn't smile this time.

I still didn't feel right about any of this. I mean shit this guy is practically begging me to fuck his wife, who I haven't seen yet I might add, and what's he gonna do when she gets some real dick. He probably end up committing hara-kari or what ever. Man, I know I could just walk away but she'd probably just make the poor little guy recruit some other dumb shmuck. I really felt sorry for Kendo so maybe I could help him out.

"So where is this slu ... err, I mean your wife?" I asked. No harm in taking a look, right?

Kendo swung his right arm and pointed toward a tiny Asian doll parked and idling over by a bank of slot machines. Holy samoli, what a fucking babe, I almost fell off my barstool. Now I was sure I had to be the one to help out my new best friend.

Let me say something here. I'm not the type of guy that has a fetish for any sort of girl. You know, some guys dig black chicks with big asses, while others go for the super model look. Hell, it all doesn't mean squat to me but I know beauty when I see it. And brother, this babe was a freaking knock out.

While I tried to clean the drool off my chin, Kendo retrieved his little lotus flower, "Kendo berry happy for Mike to know Ishi," they both bowed their heads.

I stood out of respect, "Nice to meet you Ishi."

Kendo said something to her in Japanese and she giggled and delicately covered her mouth with her hand.

Kendo put Ishi's hand in mine, "Mike prease to sreep on wife."

He handed me the swipe card to their room. What the motherfuck, was I gonna turn down the chance to test drive a Ferrari? What if I wrapped this little beauty around a telephone pole? I hoped like hell Kendo had good insurance.

On the way up in the elevator, I still wasn't quite clear on how the hell I was gonna work this. Maybe I could just talk to her and explain how this might be bad for her marriage. Ah shit, that isn't gonna happen, It quickly dawned on me that I didn't speak a word of Japanese. What we have here ... is failure ... to communicate.

Once in the room, Ishi led me to a chair and indicated with her hands that I should sit. She quickly brought me a drink, then hurried off to the bathroom. I sat and tried to come up with my next move.

A few seconds later it came to me. I had to fuck her and I had to fuck her really bad. No, you fuckwad, I mean I had to be such a bad lay that no matter how pathetic Kendo was, compared to me, he would seem like a porn stud.

There were two obvious problems with my plan. First, I had no idea just how inept my buddy Ken was. Second, I've never purposely tried to not satisfy my partner in bed. Could I pull it off, especially with the way Ishi excited me? One thing was for certain, I was determined to try.

Ishi came to me like a goddess wrapped in silk. Her jet-black hair was draped over her shoulders and she moved as if she was floating on air. "Mike, you are either a saint or an idiot, maybe both," I told myself as she kneeled before me to removed my shoes. I'd known Kendo for all of about twenty minutes now and I was beginning to despise him now for putting me through his version of Japanese sex torture.