Chapter 1

"I've graded your final exams and most of you are to be congratulated, ' Ms. Moran announced."If you've passed my class then statistics show you've most likely passed all the rest of your classes and will be graduating next week and going on to great things, no doubt, and never have to see me again."

Kyle's stomach sank. She had said most. He knew if anyone hadn't passed, it would be him.

"But three of you apparently want to spend more quality time with me," she said with an evil smirk. "If your score is circled in red, you'll need to meet with me after school today so we can develop a strategy to get you out of here before you're eligible for social security."

Three. Well at least he wouldn't be alone with the bitch. Hell, maybe Kyle would luck out and at least one of them would be a hot chick. It'd be ironic if summer school with Moran got him laid. At least Kyle was pretty sure it was ironic. He was failing English too, so it was hard to be sure.

Kyle slouched through his last class after receiving his failed exam from the scowling teacher and then slumped to his locker, dreading the after school meeting. He was so depressed that he nearly failed to notice the tiny, naked man in a top hat sitting on the shelf of his locker reading his copy of Playslut.

When Kyle did notice the imp, however, he was understandably startled.

"Holy fuck!" he exclaimed.

The little man looked up from his reading.

"Oh, there you are!" he exclaimed in a voice like the squashing of fat insects. "I was beginning to think they gave me wrong directions."

He stood and Kyle couldn't help but notice that the thing had no genitals. It cleared its throat and spoke with formality:

"Mr. Kyle Philips, I have been authorized by His Infernal Majesty, Lucifer Morningstar, Lord of Hell and Master of Magics, to present to you The Magical Wishbone."

The imp raised his hat and removed a small bone from it. It would have fit in the palm of Kyle's hand, but it was as long than the imp's forearm.

"Should you accept this offer, you, Kyle Philips, will have magical power over the minds and bodies of all the children of Adam, to mold and shape them as you will. You may wield the Wishbone for as long as you maintain it in your possession."

And then he started speaking much more rapidly:

"The Wishbone shall remain the property of Hades Incorporated and shall be returned upon demand to any authorized representative of said corporation. Hades Incorporated makes no warrantee, express or implied, on the consequences of wishes made using The Wishbone. Side effects of using The Wishbone may include exaggerated libido, rapid degeneration of morality, and loss of one's immortal soul. If use of The Wishbone causes an erection lasting more than 4 hours, the user should seek the attention of a naughty nurse or other kinky medical professional."

"Huh?" Kyle asked.

"Sorry, kid," he said. "In my profession I tend to work with a lot of lawyers. The jargon tends to rub off on you after a while. Anyway, you want the Wishbone or what?"

"What is it?" he asked.

The imp sighed impatiently.

"Satan's severed pinky bone. You hold it and make wishes about people and they come true. Just people. Doesn't work on inanimate objects, plants, animals, angels, demons or any such thing what don't fall under the category of 'Children of Adam' like I said. There are profound theological-type reasons for this that I'm sure you wouldn't be the least bit interested in. Look kid, just take the thing in your sweaty little hand and wish for those four skanks to come back and show you their tits.