Chapter 20

FEBRUARY

BRUSSELS / THE ARDENNES,

MAGDA, ELENA, ANITA OBSERVED

Magda put the phone down feeling frustrated. Where was he when she wanted him to need her? She shook her head and laughed at herself. Who was she trying to kid? This wasn't a love affair, and the need wasn't equal. On the other hand, she thought, it was more than just an arrangement. She counted on her fingers. From the end of August to the middle of February; call it five months, and she'd been in his bed exactly ... exactly nine times. That wasn't very much, really, but she couldn't believe the change in herself: she was taking control of meetings, putting her point of view, arguing her corner, feeling confident. She was beginning to be noticed. The deputy head of the German delegation had asked her out to dinner, and she'd accepted, surprising him by taking charge afterwards, brushing his advances aside gracefully, and then saying goodnight politely and leaving. Word had spread and now she was successful, mysterious and unattainable, and highly sought after: everything the skinny little small town girl had ever dreamed of; she was honest enough with herself to know that she'd leaned on him while she did it, and to acknowledge that he'd never pointed that out.

The office door opened and Elena came in. She threw her briefcase on her desk and sat down. Magda looked at her.

'You can't always get you want, ' she sang mockingly. Elena's head whipped up and she stared at the younger girl, who looked straight back at her. Finally she nodded wryly.

'Not this weekend anyway.' Magda shrugged.

'Neither can I. Elena, I need to say something unwelcome.' Elena looked suspicious.

'What's the problem?' Magda crossed her fingers.

'Us. You're pissed because he's somewhere else, and you were wondering if he'd made plans with me; I was wondering the same about you, we're both wondering about Anita, and unless I'm mistaken, that blonde receptionist at the hotel was pissed with him and with me too. There's a word for that and it's called jealousy. Now then, as friends, what are we going to do about it, and as the boss, how are you going to prevent it affecting the team? Are we going to blame him for having his own life? He doesn't do anything without thinking, and if he's pushed off somewhere without saying anything it's deliberate.' She stopped and sat back, gazing calmly at her boss. Elena's eyes half-closed as she thought it through.

'Well, fuck you for being clever.' She sounded annoyed. 'I should have picked up on this. It's been getting worse recently, hasn't it?' Magda said nothing, but her eyes agreed. Elena was about to continue when the door crashed open and Anita stamped in. When she saw the other two she blushed deep red.

'Sorry. I didn't realize there was anyone still here. I thought you were... '

'Off with Luke and you were being neglected, ' interrupted Magda. 'We're talking about that.' Anita blushed again.

'How did you know... ?'

'Working week's over, kids, ' said Elena decisively. 'I'm inviting you for a TGIF drink, in the first decent bar we come to. Come on.'

They found a bar and commandeered a secluded table but by common consent they didn't raise the subject that was at the front of everyone's mind until the first drink had arrived, and the realization that it really was the weekend was trickling through them. Anita put her glass down and sighed.

'That's better. I actually went to the pension to find him. And that big blonde girl on the desk told me that he'd left, and that he'd said he was going away for the weekend. So I asked if he said where he was going, and she shook her head and said that he'd hired a car and had a bag with him. She looked sort of bottled up and angry, and I immediately thought that he was taking one of you away, and that's why I was banging about when I got back to the office. I'm sorry... ' Magda raised a hand.

'It's no good beating ourselves over the head. If he's gone off with a car and a bag, then he's meeting someone, and the only person I can think of is the Austrian girl, the one I told you about, who tore that Bruno to pieces for me. (Author's note: for details of this incident see Vol. 2, Ch. 02b: A little gentle castration) And it's either to get away from us, because we're getting too complicated, or to spend time with her, because he's really fond of her. It's probably a bit of both.' She sat back and drained the rest of her rum and coke. 'I want another one of these, please.' Elena signaled the waitress.

'As long as you don't get tipsy. So one way or another he's avoiding us, and if we're honest with ourselves, we can't blame him. We've been pushing him too much and it's up to us to sort something out. One thing's definite: I don't want to lose him. We're beginning to punch way above our weight in this town, and that's mostly because your English has improved so much, thanks to him. He's worth every exorbitant cent we're paying him. So how do we sort things out?'

'I'm not going to put up with a rota, ' said Anita. 'I had enough of that at school. Elena, you're the boss. Make an executive decision that doesn't involve rotas.' Elena shook her head.

'Easy to say. Let's be honest: we're all a little bit in love with him, but we're not stupid, none of us and we don't think we've got a future with him: he's not the type, and we wouldn't be here if we weren't ambitious bitches. If you had to choose between him and your career, what would you decide?' She looked challengingly at the other two and waited. Neither of the younger girls replied. Then Magda stirred.

'Point taken. We've got to stop using him as our default setting. I think I'm going to start dating. I quite fancied that German guy I had dinner with; in fact walking away at the end of the evening was difficult. So I'm going to take the blinkers off. Part of his attraction is that he doesn't make any demands. If we say, "sorry, busy tonight", he smiles and gives us a kiss and goes off to do his own thing, so we really shouldn't expect him to be on hand whenever we need ... whatever. I'm confident enough to handle other guys without needing to be in his shadow any more, and if I screw up, he'll help. I trust him completely to do that. I don't want to cut him off completely though. There's something about him... ' She stopped, embarrassed. Anita looked worried.

'I've always had a boyfriend, so I've never dated or anything like that. I'd worry about feeling like a slut, and, and ... I've never met anyone who makes me feel the way he does. I could hardly bear to have Goran touch me at Christmas, and I felt so mean.' Elena waved to the waitress for another round.

'I don't think we should sleep around, but making proper lives for ourselves is a good idea. After all, if he was just another English teacher, we'd be doing that anyway.' She was quiet for a minute. 'I'm not giving him up either, but I'm going to try and put him in perspective. And another thing: something changed over Christmas. That's why we're here. When he was totally focused there was nothing to fight about, but now... '

'You're right.' Magda's voice was quiet. 'There's someone at the front of his mind, and it isn't any of us.'

The three women sat quietly, staring into their drinks, feeling the bittersweet regret of necessary loss.

LUKE AND ULI : LUKE'S VOICE

'The Ardennes?' I protested feebly. 'We'll freeze to death and get lost twice a day. Why not somewhere civilized?'

'No cellphone cover, no distractions, and if it's cold we'll just have to snuggle.' Uli reached over and put a hand on my thigh. 'It's not exactly the third world, you know. Straight down the motorway and I'll tell you which exit. I was looking at maps and guides on the plane.' I was concentrating on the road but I risked a glance at her out of the corner of my eye. She was wearing an old sweatshirt and a pair of jeans and looked as stunning as ever. When she'd come out of the arrival gate at the airport my heart had done flip-flops in my chest. It wasn't a feeling that I recognized.

'You've let your hair grow.' She ran her hand through her bright golden tresses and looked pleased.

'Do you like it? I'm doing some of my own modeling for the Spring Show, and the designs need the longer look. I've still got a ton of work to do, but I'm glad I'm here. I needed a weekend away from everything. It's been a long time since it was just us.' She sounded pensive, and I felt a flutter of apprehension. Women are wonderful, and I love them, but every so often they want to haul everything out and inspect it. Still, better her than anyone else, I thought, and then realized with a start what I was implying. I pretended to concentrate on driving again. She was fiddling with the radio and when she'd found a station she could tolerate she leaned back.

'Tell me what's been happening. I know about Christmas already. I've spent hours on the phone to Trudi and Inge and they insisted on giving me all the details. It sounded so much fun. I ended up feeling quite jealous. What about the job?'

'If I start telling you about that we'll miss our exit.' I sighed. 'Well, Christmas was ... it was fun, but I ended up wanting more than fun. I think Trudi and Inge noticed that, so they probably didn't have as nice a time as they should have. As for this lot here, they seem to need me more than they did. Fun is fine, wanting is fine, lust is fine, loving a little bit is fine, but needing makes me nervous. Them needing me makes me nervous, is what I really mean, I suppose, so I sent a message in a bottle to you, begging for help. Are you nervous that I need you?' She patted my thigh more firmly.

'Certainly not. That's what love-buddies are for. It sounds as though there might be some sensitive spots under your Mr. Cool packaging, though. It'd be better if we talked about it when I can soothe your sensitive spots if I need to.'

'Sounds like a plan. What about you? I feel guilty about not being more in touch, and that's bugging me too. Maybe I'm not functioning too well at the moment.'

'What about me?' Her voice was thoughtful again. 'I've got my sensitive spots too. Trudi told you I'm having an affair with one of my supervisors, didn't she?' I nodded, wondering what was coming next. 'He's a really nice man, ' she said, 'I mean, he annoys me sometimes, because he's a bit obvious about showing me off, and telling people who my father is, but I've told him I'm not just arm-candy and he's working on that. He's a good teacher, and a very talented designer, and he's respected by everyone, and the sex is good, and we laugh a lot, but when I told him I was going away for the weekend he couldn't understand and was really upset. The sad thing is that I don't feel as bad as I ought to about hurting him.' She lapsed into silence and I didn't reply. There were a lot of things not being said. I drove and tried to decide what I wasn't saying. After another sixty kilometers she nudged me.

'Next exit: I'll give you directions.' By now it was fully dark, and I slowed as she peered at the map. After only one wrong turn she gave a crow of triumph. 'Who says women can't navigate? There it is, look!' Sure enough, there was a sign saying 'Hotel'. I didn't have time to count the number of stars.

'Uli, this place looks like the royal palace of Ruritania. I wasn't thinking quite so far upmarket.'

'This one's on me. The book says it's really comfortable, and that they're friendly and welcoming, and ideal for quiet luxury. It sounds perfect.'

'They won't be quite so friendly and welcoming with a couple of scruffy layabouts spoiling their décor. We'll probably have to rent a tie to get in, or promise never to leave the room in daylight, or... ' She reached over and ruffled my hair.

'You're so sweet when you get nervous. I live in a shared flat, you know, and do my own cooking and everything. But with you I can splash out without feeling self-conscious, because you don't care much about money.' I pulled up outside the huge double doors of what was really quite a respectable castle.

'Money's like style: not important until you haven't got any. OK, but I'm leaving you to do the arguing. I'll just be a bit of rough that you've picked up for the weekend.' She giggled.

'And you can look shifty, as if you're casing the joint for valuable ornaments. Come on.' I followed her, lugging the bags. Why do women need so much luggage?

'Even our cases are inadequate, ' I muttered, and she giggled again. We pushed through the doors and trekked across a couple of acres of polished floor to the reception desk. A stuffy-looking character peered down his nose at us and Uli went into action. To my complete lack of surprise we were expected, along with her platinum credit card, and ten minutes we were being shown into a suite that was larger than some flats I've lived in. The bell-hop put our bags down and left, and she jumped at me.

'I've been waiting for this for ever. I started planning the moment I got your e-mail. Let's get our clothes off and into the Jacuzzi and say hello properly and then have something to eat. I'm hungry for everything.' As she spoke she was pulling her sweatshirt over her head. Underneath she was wearing a simple white bra. Throwing the sweatshirt on the bed she began to undo her jeans.

'Come on, you, I don't want to do this by myself.' I began to take off my own clothes, hurrying to catch up with her. I was still hauling my chinos down my legs when she pulled her panties off, then darted forward and held them to my nose.

'See what you do to me. Breathe in.' The crotch of the panties was damp and I inhaled her scent with a shiver of recognition. She dropped them to the floor and bent to pull my boxers down, then straightened up and melted into my arms. The long warm length of her pressed against me as she wrapped her arms round my neck and pushed her face into my shoulder. Her voice was muffled when she spoke.

'I promised myself I wasn't going to say this yet, but I can't help it. I've missed you so much and I've been trying so hard not to, but it's no good. I think I'm a Lukeoholic. And when I read that bit in your e-mail about between the ears as well as the legs I started to cry, and I remembered Spain. It's exactly how I've been feeling.' I squeezed her hard and tried to ignore the flash of panic that ran through me.

'I've been missing you too. Let's get clean.' I scooped her up and staggered into the bathroom, then stopped dead. 'Jesus, Uli, it's like the engine room of the Enterprise. Where do we start?' She wriggled out of my arms.

'I bet you can't program a video player either. Let an expert have a look.' I watched as she squatted over the huge sunken Jacuzzi and examined the taps. She balanced easily, her slim body twisting gracefully as she tested the controls. She was paler than I remembered, and although her increasing maturity had added a fraction to the curves of breast and hip, her waist was as slender and supple as ever. I could just see the soft outer surface of her breast and a hint of darker pink between her legs, and my stomach fluttered with anticipation. Suddenly there was a coughing roar, and water began to spurt into the tub. She straightened up looking pleased with herself.

There's temperature control and everything. What do you want to smell of?'

'Excited girl would be nice, ' I said, and she came into my arms again.

'That's a given, but we don't want to empty the dining room when we go down.'

'We could eat here: that'd save getting dressed.' She shook her head.

'You know this isn't just a sexfest. Look at me and say it ain't so.' I tried, but my eyes fell away and I grinned sheepishly.

'I hate it when you're right.' She kissed me lightly, but the contact deepened and lengthened as our bodies engaged. She purred and forced her hips forward against mine.

'You made me grow up, ' she murmured, 'and I bless you for it every single day. But underneath I'm still a brat. I want to get horizontal and taste you.' She pulled at my neck and we lowered ourselves onto the soft mat that lay in front of the tub. She reached out and turned off the water, then ran her tongue over my cockshaft and round my balls.

'Some sweat, and a whiff of piss, but nothing to complain about.' She dipped a hand into the tub and scooped warm water over my glans, massaging it gently as it swelled in her hand, then nuzzled the tip and stretched out next to me. 'That's better. I love feeling it grow. Just lie back and enjoy.'

'No way sweetheart. Together or not at all. Get yourself over here.' Her mouth enveloped me as she swung round and raised her thigh before lowering her crotch to my face. Her scent was stronger than usual, and my head swam as I caught the mixture of musk and sweat that emanated from her. My cock jerked in her mouth and she gave a muffled chuckle. The delicate folds of her labia were glistening with the dew of anticipation, and I reached out tentatively with my tongue, lapping at the warm petals as they unfurled for me, reacting to my gentle intrusion. The rhythm of her mouth on my shaft faltered and she purred again before settling back to her task. I pulled her closer to me and separated her pussy lips with my thumbs. Her clit was peeping out of its cave and I flicked my tongue tip over it, eliciting a gasp. My cock began to vibrate and I knew that she'd started the wordless, almost inaudible humming that I remembered so well. I continued laving and nibbling at her, unwilling to hurry matters or break the spell that she'd cast over us, letting her dictate the tempo, concentrating on the young body that I knew so well. I closed my lips over the nub of her clit and focused on her sensations. It was if a warm, powerful engine was running inside her, and my cock swelled as I imagined her moving into a higher gear. Her breathing became audible and I suckled harder at her clit before slowly sliding two fingers into her now sodden pussy. Time slowed and accelerated simultaneously.

There's a point at which sex morphs into sex plus, and another point, a little further on, where it turns into something else that I've never really understood. Uli and I didn't reach that third plateau then, but we came close to it. I thrust involuntarily into her, striving to bury myself completely in her mouth, and she moved back, prolonging the teasing, and most unfairly forcing herself harder against me. All my senses were overwhelmed by the immediacy of our union, and I felt the familiar lurch as my center of gravity dropped to my balls and they contracted and rode up to the base of my shaft. Uli felt the change and the cadence of her movements changed, becoming slower and stronger, as she pulled herself in my wake. I moved my head back slightly.

'You're tailgating, girl.' My cock throbbed as she giggled round it, then her dripping crotch was glued to my mouth again. I stabbed my tongue hard against the tip of her clit and twisted my fingers inside her, stroking against her G spot, and thrilled to the feel of her muscles beginning to contract and spasm. My balls tightened again and her mouth slowed, then quickened as my seed erupted into her. Her own climax gripped her and she pulled her mouth from my shaft and cried out softly, her hands digging hard into my buttocks as I fountained over her face and hair. I felt my senses spinning, and from nowhere, and completely unexpectedly, a feeling of coming home swept over me.

The timeless moment passed and our muscles slackened in the afterglow of orgasm. Uli took me in her mouth again and held my cock gently as it softened, and I lapped gently at the fresh juices that she had released. Our breathing slowed, and then reluctantly, she rolled off me.

'So sweet.' Her eyes were wet and I sat up and slipped my arms round her. I was beginning to get an idea of what I hadn't been saying.

'Perhaps it's a good thing we're going down to dinner after all. Let's have another stab at getting clean.' She kissed me, her face still smeared with cum and sweat, then sniffed.

'Better than sitting here wishing we could stay like this forever. This bath seems to add essence of whatever to the water and I think I programmed roses, so you'll just have to put up with that.' She rolled over and disappeared with a splash, and I followed her. We found each other and rose to the surface together.

'Uli, this is a young swimming pool. I need somewhere to relax.' She snorted and hauled me over to a submerged ledge, cunningly formed to take two submerged bodies. We lay comfortably, warm water bubbling round us, and stared at each other.

'That was kind of intense, ' I said softly, rubbing her calf with the sole of my foot. 'A bit more than just "long time no see".' She nodded but didn't answer, and closed her eyes.

'It fills me so full I can hardly speak, ' she said finally, 'and talking about it is going to feel a bit like swearing in church.' I knew what she meant.

'Is it any help to know that I feel the same?' I asked hesitantly. 'It's not really cool Luke here. Something's happened to him.' She slithered sideways and hooked one leg over mine.

'New territory for both us. It's a good job we're an unbeatable combination, or heaven knows what might happen.' Her eyes were sparkling again and I felt my own mood lightening. She was right, dammit. Who better than us to cope with almost anything? I leaned back further and put my arms behind my head.

'Wash me, woman, ' I said loftily, 'and take special care with the parts of me that you soiled.' She gasped and pushed me off the ledge, then launched herself onto me and tried to hold me under. After some difficulty I reached air again.

'And another thing while I think of it, ' I spluttered. 'It's not just on your head that the hair's been growing. You've given yourself a sweet little landing strip. Is that for the fashion show too?' To my surprise she blushed.

'It was by request. I thought about getting rid of it, but then I decided that you could cope with it and he might have trouble wondering why it had gone. Do you mind?' I checked myself for minding, and found that I really didn't.

'When did I ever tell you to do anything? Your body, your choice.' She nodded, and her shoulders relaxed imperceptibly. I felt as if I'd passed some kind of test.

'Let's get properly clean and then dry, ' she said, 'and then I've got a surprise for you, but you can't look while I unpack it.'

'What the hell is this?' I asked as I took my hands away from my eyes. Lying on the bed was a navy blue suit. Next to it was a shirt and tie. On the floor beneath them was a pair of gleaming loafers. On the other side of the bed an evening dress was displayed. Uli beamed proudly.

'You were right about the tie rule, but that's only in the dining room in the evenings. So we made these.'

'We?' She looked smug.

'My flatmate and I. I'm a brilliant designer and she's so good with scissors and a sewing machine it's untrue. They're actually models that we're going to use in the show, so making them up to fit wasn't a problem.'

'How did you know my size?' She snorted exasperatedly.

'I know every measurement you've got. Don't laugh like that, I'm serious. You're the one who told me I've got a talent for this sort of thing. Put it on, please. I want to see.'

'I've never owned a made-to-measure suit, ' I said, wonderingly. 'What's it made of?'

'A silk and linen mix, ' said Uli, 'and the shirt's your exact size, and it's silk too, and will you please hurry up. Our table's in forty minutes and I've got to do my hair.'

'Yes, ma'am, straight away, ma'am.' I climbed into the clothes and eased the loafers onto my feet. Uli had slipped behind me, still unselfconsciously naked, and was twitching and adjusting things. She looked up delightedly.

'Just right, even the fall of the pants. You can only wear these shoes though. If you want a different pair you've got to take me with you. The heel height is important.' She straightened up and my heart did that unfamiliar flip-flop again.

'Come on woman, 'I said. 'I'll thank you properly when I'm not speechless. Let me see you in the dress.' She looked mischievous.

'No. Go down to the bar and show off your suit, and I'll join you there. I want everyone to see my entrance, and I want you to watch them, and then I want to see their faces when I kiss you.' Women can be so innocently cruel. I did as I was told.

For a Friday night in February in the middle of nowhere, the joint was rocking. The bar was three-quarters full of people who all looked as if they could buy and sell me with their spare change. I don't usually give a fuck about that sort of thing: I deal with it by not hanging out with people who might be tempted to buy and sell me, but here we were, and I was damned if I was going to let Uli down. As I approached the bar I caught sight of my reflection in the mirrored back wall and nearly choked. I looked rich too. Better than that: I looked confident and rich. I realized that the suit fit me perfectly and the snowy silk of the shirt emphasized the remains of my Christmas tan. I leaned on the bar and peeked at myself again, trying not to appear obvious. To be absolutely and honestly truthful I was slicker than gooseshit.

A waitress materialized in front of me. The rich get good service

'Can I take your order, sir?' Time to celebrate, I decided.

'Brandy and Tia Maria over ice, please, and I'll have it at a table.' I found an empty half-booth and relaxed. My drink came and I sipped contentedly.

The crowd appeared to be evenly divided between youngish and older, and there were slightly more women than men. I seemed to be the only unaccompanied person, and I noticed a couple of the younger women glancing at me casually. I was looking back at one of them when her head turned to the door and a comical expression of jealousy appeared on her face. At the same moment I became aware that other heads were swiveling and conversation had stopped. I half-turned to see what was happening.

What was happening was Uli. Her dress was a deep burgundy, setting off her bright hair and creamy skin to perfection. She had paused in the doorway, and the swathe of glowing silk, expertly cut and fitted to her slender form, enveloped her almost completely. She saw me, and her face lit up and she began to move towards me. As she floated across the floor, the promise of imminent, daring exposure was plain to everyone, but somehow the effect remained one of modesty and restraint. The men at the bar were desperately waiting for a revealing fall of the fabric: hell, I knew what was under the dress, and I was getting excited too. Bad luck, guys, she's too good for that, and what's more, she's mine. The women's faces all wore identical expressions of envy. I felt like a king and gestured to the waitress, pointing to my glass.

She reached the booth and slid in next to me, leaning towards me and giving me a deep, open-mouthed kiss. I could almost hear the sigh of disappointment from the men in the room, and hoped that the two women who'd been checking me out were feeling cheated too. We broke the kiss and the waitress materialized with two fresh drinks.

'Unbelievable, ' I said sincerely. 'Absolutely all your own work?' She smiled.

'The design and the major cutting. Lottie did the fine tuning and the sewing. We're talking about setting up something when we graduate.'

You'll make more money than your father, ' I said fervently. 'Jesus, girl, every jaw in the room hit the floor when you walked in.' She beamed happily.

'I know. Isn't it fun?' Her face changed. 'Luke, there's a girl I was at school with over there, with two guys. Look, the one in blue.' I followed her eyes. It was one of the women who'd been eyeing me. She said something to her companions and moved towards us.

'Ulrike? Ulrike Fischer? I hardly recognized you. What are you doing here?' Uli got to her feet and they exchanged kisses of greeting. I stood too, and Uli introduced us.

'Luke, this is Myrta Schröder: we were at the academy together. Myrta, this is Luke Lancer. We're just here for a quiet weekend. Are you on holiday?' The girl pouted.

'With my fiancé and his parents.' She looked at me. 'What do you do, Mr. Lancer?' There was curiosity in her voice. Uli jumped in, her eyes sparkling with wickedness.

'Luke spends most of his time in Brussels, but every so often I drag him away. I'm lucky enough to be his lover of choice.' I choked on my drink.

'The luck is all mine, ' I said gallantly. An imp of mischief whispered in my ear, and I continued. 'Austrian women are terribly demanding, but they're very clean and the most sensual in Europe: well worth the effort, in my opinion.' I turned to Uli. 'I need to keep my strength up, sweetheart. Shall we go in to dinner?' Her turn to choke. Myrta had turned red, and began to excuse herself. I finished my drink and offered my arm to Uli. In the corridor she let out the breath she'd been holding and punched my arm.

'You're so bad. She'll tell the world what you said. Everyone will be talking about us now.'

'Good. It's about time we went public. You were the one who said the words "lover of choice", bless you.' Her eyes went soft and I hurried on. 'Come on, girl, I'm starving. Have you organized the meal? You seem to have arranged everything else.'