Chapter 2: Atomic Tangerine and Bittersweet Memories

Leia didn't head back to class right away, but instead went to the ladies room. She didn't know if she was going to the diner or not. She didn't want to look at these people and confess the things that she had done. Sure, they seemed to understand, but would they be as understanding if they knew it all? If they knew the whole story about how she almost drove one person to suicide, or betrayed her best friend's trust?

She had never thought she would be capable of anything as cruel as what she did to Brian Dobman, and the fact that he was cruel to her first didn't seem like a good enough reason. Not anymore.

Leia remembered it clearly.

It was late afternoon and she was leaving the party store a couple of blocks from her house. She had just opened her bottle of Snapple when she noticed Brian standing in the parking lot. They weren't friends and he ran with a different crowd, so it took a moment to place him, but he seemed to recognize her right away. He looked around the parking lot and then walked up to her.

"Hi Leia, lookin' really good!" he slurred.

"Thanks." She wondered if he was being on the level since she was just wearing an old pair of jeans and a white T-shirt, but the look in his eyes seemed real enough. She supposed she should be flattered, but there was something a little too cold and cocky about him. "Brian, right?"

He leaned a little closer and she noticed he had beer on his breath. "That's right. I was wondering if you would like to hook up sometime, ya know, do somethin' together."

Subtle, real subtle, and I am so not interested, she thought. Still, she did not really want to piss him off. "Yeah, well, who knows? Maybe."

"Fact, why don't you roll with me now? Parents aren't home — we could have a couple beers, see that happens." He ran a finger lightly down her arm. She shivered and took a step back.

"Tonight, well, it isn't the best, you know? Hey, why the sudden interest? You never really speak to me at school?"

"Yeah, well, different crowds and all, but I have noticed you. Come on, we could have fun."

Leia started to get the picture. "So, when you saw me, you looked around to see who might be watching? Why? And if you noticed me before, why have you never even nodded to me before? Afraid of what your friends would say?"

Brian started to look defensive. "Yeah, like you would be introducing me to the brothers? C'mon, what's the big deal?"

Leia burst out laughing. "The 'brothers'? I grew up in the same neighborhood you did and went to the same schools! What 'brothers' do you see?" She looked around, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She laughed again at how stupid it all was. "Um, no, I don't think I will be rolling with you now ... or ever!"

She started to walk away and only got a few feet before she heard Brian call out after her:

"Fuckin' bitch!"

She whipped around. "What did you say?"

He walked toward her. "I said you are a fuckin' stuck-up bitch. So tell me sumthin' - do you and Jessica Christensen dyke out together? That why you don't want to hang out? 'Cause your girlfriend would be all jealous and shit? Come to think of it, you always struck me a little like you were that way! You the guy or the girl?"

She sensed this was getting dangerous for both of them. She hoped it was just her imagination that the colors around her had gotten more vivid. She felt the hair on her arms start to rise. "Look, let's just leave this alone. We are both upset. No big deal right? We aren't feeling each other, it happens." She tried to give a casual shrug.

"Shit, what did I expect? Fucking you would be like fucking some sort of animal, anyhow! My dick not big enough for you after all the black dicks you've taken? Or maybe I was right in the beginning, and you don't like dick at all." He sneered, looking grotesque as hate changed his features.