Chapter 5

Dr Orwell listened to me as I revealed my pregnancy. He wasn't all that surprised as he said, "I'm sure it wasn't easy for you. What happened after you told David about the pregnancy?"

I looked at Dr Orwell and said to him, "I didn't tell him. I had finally worked up the courage to tell him. However, I wanted to do it in a special way for him. You need to understand that I loved him very much. Yes he hurt me, but he also was my protector and he did take care of me. He never judged me even after the Noah incident."

Dr. Orwell looked at me saying, "True. However, you also admitted David had a temper and that you were afraid of him with his temper. From what you've explained so far Rachel, he was a scary man. If he was that scary, why would you want to tell him?"

I looked at Dr. Orwell and said, "Whatever David Vale was, I still loved him and I had hoped I would make him happy. I really wanted to do that. In all honesty, I had made the decision to tell him because I had hoped that my having a baby and him becoming a parent would encourage him to be a better person."

Dr. Orwell smiled at me and said, "I do understand what you are saying and I see that you did love him. However, you admitted yourself that he and you had talked. He never wanted children after the example as a parent he saw in his father."

I began to become upset. This man who is supposed to be my doctor was badgering me for answers but wasn't listening to me. I finally said to him, "You don't understand a fucking thing doctor. You were not there."

Dr. Orwell nodded and said, "Then Rachel help me to understand about it. Make me see what I'm missing. I want to help you but I need to understand what was going through your head then. Explain it to me please."

I then took a deep breath and continued with my story...

I had finally made up my mind to tell David. I was hoping beyond all hope that David loved me enough to accept the baby I was carrying despite the fact that he didn't want to be a father. I reasoned it because he had told me many times he loved me and if he loved me surely to God he could accept a child created out of our love for each other.

However, I needed a way to tell him. A special way that he would see that having a baby that we created was and could be a good thing. I knew that if I could find the right way, I could do it.

During the day I had made the decision to tell him, I had been on the streets most of the morning and for a good part of the afternoon and although I took in a few johns and had netted a small sum of money. It was not even close to what I could take in. However, it was also a time where Christmas had just ended and not many had the money for my services. However, I did have enough to purchase a gift for David. Surely if it was for him, he wouldn't be mad at me for doing it would he? I reasoned that he wouldn't so I set out spending the rest of the day finding David a gift to break my announcement of our upcoming parenthood. I then went to a specialty store that sold baby stuff from toys to diapers and all sorts of other related inpending parenthood items.

As I looked around, there it was. The perfect gift. A little silver plaque which had engraving on it etched in gold saying, "#1 Daddy". I took out the money I had made from on the streets and then paid half of it to the store clerk and then was given a card to go with it. I then left the store and then went to the park and sat down on a park bench and began to write out the card. As I wrote on the card, I also realized it was David's birthday soon and I felt even more happier, I was sure the announcement of a baby would be the perfect baby gift to make his birthday even more special I ignored all the warning that were rumblings of fear in the pit of my stomach. I wrote in the card, "Master, I know I'm not always a good lilone and I don't make life easy for you but I do love you and I am so proud to be yours... I'm also sorry for taking money which was for us but needed to get you something special to show you I love you and am yours always... love your Rachel."

I smiled as I finished filling out the card and then decided to head back home and tell David. It wouldn't be easy but the gift and him knowing I loved him would be enough I was sure. When I arrived home, David was in a foul mood. In fact he looked at me saying, "Where the fuck were you? You have been gone all day"

I looked at him very frightened but said to him as calmly as I could, "I was doing as you asked. I was working."

He looked at me and then said, "Good! Where's the money?" I then took out the money and offered it to him and he looked at it. He then got very angry and said, "Where the fuck is the rest of it?"

I knew this was probably the wrong time to give him the gift. I knew there was plenty of time to give it to him later. I lied to him and said, "Master, things were not good today. It was very slow. That's all I could get today."

He looked at me and then with no warning he then took and slapped me hard. As soon as I felt the first slap, it was then I realized I was in trouble and I then began to hold my hands up to protect myself which only angered him. I then felt his fist smash into my stomach and then smash into my face. I couldn't help it as I fell to the ground and as soon as I hit the ground his feet kicked at me and I felt him kick me over and over and as I began to speak, I then felt his foot kick me in the throat and then I tried to speak but found I couldn't. I finally blacked out.

As I awoke, I could here sobbing and I realized it was David. I tried to speak but had no voice. I then tried to get up but couldn't even move. I heard David say over and over again, "Oh my God! What have I done? I have become just like my father. I killed Rachel."

As I still tried to speak, his back was to me and no matter how I tried to say, "Master, I'm ok. You haven't killed me. I'm alive. I'm ok. Just please help me." However, I couldn't get the words out. I realized his kick had damaged my vocal chords somehow.

He then said, "I have to get out of here. I'm so sorry you died Rachel. God forgive me but I need to get out of here." He then stood up and then looked around one last time then left me there.