Chapter 1

As a little girl, I grew up knowing that I was loved by my father. No matter what was going on my father was always there for me and the fact that he loved me was very evident from the time I was born. My mother on the other hand was a different person. She would spend hours on end trying to make herself look good and even when she looked her best, she was still never happy. She was not only never happy with herself, she was never happy with me and no matter how hard I tried, there was absolutely no way of making her happy.

Our relationship grew worse, the older I got and it was then I was to discover exactly how my mother truly felt about me as time went by. As the years past and I entered my teen years, I saw and felt many changes in my body. I was growing breasts as well as pubic hair and then of course there was something I was going through that my mother always referred to as "the curse." My period.

As my body began to change, my mother's anger and constant criticism only grew worse and of course, I then began to see jealousy. The jealousy that occurred whenever my father paid attention to me. The fact was, my father always had time for me and always made sure he listened as well as kissed away and dried my tears so to me, my relationship was my father was nothing more than perfect. However, it was one day I learned that my mother saw my father and our relationship as hideous after overhearing an argument that I wished to God I had never heard.

It was late one night when I woke up and heard an argument between the two of them and the voices were loud enough where I couldn't help but hear that they were talking about me.

My mother yelled at my father, " My God! You do nothing but dote on Rachel. She is 15 years old and all you do is focus on her. Why the hell do you not ever pay attention to me like you do her?"

My father who for the most part was a soft spoken man and very rarely had a bad word to say about anyone yelled right back saying, " For God sakes Deborah!! She is our daughter! You make it sound like I have a thing for her. I pay attention to her because you are so fucking vain, you spend more time in the fucking mirror than you do with our daughter."

My mother screamed back at my father saying, "Oh! If she's our daughter why the hell do you always undress her with your eyes?? Are you some sort of fucking pervert??"

My father's temper finally blew as he said, "You are a sick fucking woman. I don't look at my daughter that way. She is my flesh and blood and I spend so much time with her because you never do. You do nothing but criticize her. Tell me Deborah when our daughter had her period four years ago, who talked to her about being a young woman and explained to her the important changes that she would undergo? I did!! Where the hell were you? You didn't want anything to do with her and really haven't since the day she was born. In fact, you have treated her like a disease since her birth. So if there is anyone that has a problem with her its you and I'm at the point where I am ready to pack up Rachel and leave you!"

My mother laughed at him and said "You spineless little man. You haven't got the balls. What do you think you are going to do pack Rachel up and then take her to parts unknown and then have all the alone time you want and may be stick your puny little cock in her because you can't get any from me?"

It was then I heard a slap which echoed through the house and my mother's scream and I knew that my father had more than his fill as he said, " You know Deborah. You are fucking sick! The fact is Deborah I don't need or want to come to you. Fucking you would be like shoving my cock in a freezer and then ejaculating icicles because you are nothing but a cold hearted bitch! Rachel deserves far better for a mother. In fact, its about time that I left you and took Rachel with me."

My mothers voice shaky through tears and pain from the slap my father had given her said "You can't take her. I won't let you because she is not your daughter!"

My father didn't say anything for the longest time and when he finally did he said " You lying little cunt. That's bullshit! She is my daughter. How could you say something so cruel?"

My mother after getting over the initial shock of my father's slap allowed her voice to become strong again and yelled at him saying "It's not a lie at all, Paul. All of what I'm saying is true. You weren't man enough to create anything in me and all it took was one night with a stranger and then Rachel was created."

As I listened, I was shocked. My father was not my father? My mother had been with another man other than my father and I was the result? I couldn't believe all that I was hearing. At that moment, my world had been turned totally upside down by what I had heard. I couldn't believe my father wasn't my father.

I remained quiet and continued to listen despite my pain and shock of all I overheard. I needed to stay to hear if there was anything else I needed to know. My father then said to her, "Look Deborah, I want to know the truth. Is Rachel not my daughter or are you playing some sort of sick game?"

My mother looked into my father's eyes and said. "Does it really matter? All I have to do is tell a lawyer or a judge she's not yours and there is no way in hell you will be able to take Rachel from me!"

My father shot back saying, "I'm afraid that it's not that easy. I could demand a paternity test and there is nothing you could do to stop me. The truth would come out and then it would prove I am the father."

My mother laughed and said, "Go ahead. You want to explain to Rachel why she has to go for a blood test when she is not sick? Do you really want to put her through that?"

My father looked at her with eyes as cold as ice and said, "You cold hearted bitch! You don't give a fuck about Rachel at all. It's all about you and your needs. Why don't you just tell me is Rachel my daughter and if she isn't, who is Rachel's father?"

My mother looked at him with the same cold stare he had given her and said, "For your information, the father of Rachel is a man I had a one night stand with. I actually thought he was exciting until he took me to some club which was basically no more than some sort of kinky sex club known which practically had people having sex in front of us. I didn't care much for the club but I must admit, he was one hell of a lover. If you must know, his name is Lester Biggs."

I sat and listened. She actually said my father's name. Lester Biggs. I had no idea who he was but I actually believed my mother when she told my father the name of my real father. Lester Biggs. I repeated that name to myself over and over again. As I did, the truth was sinking in and the realization that Paul Sands was not my father finally jolted me to reality.

My father, Paul then asked a question, "Does this Lester Biggs know he has a child?" My mother looked at him and then lowered her head, "No! I didn't feel the need to tell him as I was thinking of getting rid of her anyway. Unfortunately, I waited too long to get an abortion and then of course there was you. I had hoped that if you had her to pay attention to, you would leave me alone. I was right. You now are so focused on her that you don't even look at me."

My father, Paul got mad and slapped her again and said, "You are a sick fucking bitch! You really kept Rachel because you hoped I would want her sexually? What the hell kind of fucking monster does that to her own flesh and blood? Well guess what? It didn't work! She may not be my daughter by blood but I think of her as mine because I do love Rachel very much as my daughter and as for why I pay so much attention to her, because you don't pay any attention to her except to criticize her. You don't even realize what an incredible young woman your daughter becoming because you are so fucking vain that all you care about is how you look and how your daughter only makes you old. You do no more than treat your daughter like a disease."