Chapter 10: The Same is Different

Fighting Hawk entered his fifteenth year in the reading lodge. He had applied himself almost exclusively now that he didn't have to teach the boys. He only hunted once or twice a week, and all other times he was in the reading lodge. He was surprised when Little Mule came into the lodge. Gray Eagle had never allowed anyone into the lodge. It was even stricter than the Spirit Lodge. He looked at her and asked how she got in. She said that Water Lilly had sent her in to bring the food, and she held the tray she was carrying. He nodded and pointed to the ground; at his feet. She looked around and said that he should have a table and chair. It would make it easier to study. He stared at her and asked if she could read. She blushed and nodded her head. She said that her father let her go to school when he couldn't do anything else with her. Fighting Hawk laughed.

She looked strangely at him and asked him how it was that he could read, and not speak English. Tom looked at her and spoke in English, "Who said that I couldn't speak English?" She stared at him as it became clear that there were many things that she still didn't know about him. She sat down on the ground with a thump, and spilled his lunch. He laughed at the shock on her face.

"You knew every word that I said to you that night that you raped me." Tom looked at her and nodded his head. "All those months you knew what I was saying, but you pretended that you didn't unless I said it in Cheyenne. You made a fool out of me, just to have your fun." She looked mad, and Tom smiled at her, "No, it was not to have fun with you. If I had allowed you to speak English you would never have learned the Cheyenne language, and you would probably still have a rope around your neck. To be accepted, you have to be able to speak Cheyenne."

She thought about it for a while, and Tom saw her anger cool. She begrudgingly accepted the reason, but her curiosity was getting the best of her. "How did a Cheyenne warrior learn to read and speck English so well?" He looked at her again, and closed the book that he was reading. He sat forward and took the tray of food that she had brought, and placed it on his lap. As he ate he said," Since you will not let me read, I might as well take a break and tell you what you want to know. Yes, I am now a Cheyenne warrior, but I was not always one. I was captured from a wagon train just like you. As a matter of fact I was taken about one year before you were. In that time I learned the Cheyenne language, learned to be a Cheyenne warrior and Gray Eagle took me as his son in front of the village. I led the attack on the wagon train because I was the Cheyenne warrior that Gray Eagle appointed to lead the warriors. I was appointed to lead them because it was my plan used to take the wagon train. Now I am starting my third year as a Cheyenne warrior. When I am in here I only speak English, and when I am out there I only speak Cheyenne." Tom looked at her and waited for her to speak.

With her mouth hanging open she stuttered as she spoke, "I always thought that you were born here, and that all of these things you learned from birth. Now you tell me that you have only been here for two years. In a year you became the most powerful Cheyenne warrior in the whole Cheyenne nation. In two years you have become the greatest Cheyenne warrior to ever live. I have heard the rumors, and I know that at your word, every Cheyenne warrior would follow you to wipe out every white man in the Cheyenne territory. You could have anything that you want." She stared at him in astonishment.

He looked at her as he shook his head. "This is what I want. And killing all of the white men is not the answer. It would just bring more white men, until there was nothing left of the Cheyenne people. What we want is to keep the people safe, not get them destroyed. We can't do that by fighting. We can kill so many white men that their dead bodies would fill every valley in the mountains, and there would still be more coming to fight. There aren't enough Cheyenne, so we have to use what we have to slow them down. There were no wagon trains this past year, and hopefully there will be none for a long time, but they will come again. We are just trying to survive." He could see that she was confused. He stood and took her hand in his. "Remember, outside this lodge there is only Cheyenne." He then led her to their lodge. He spoke to Moon Flower and she packed provisions as he prepared horses.

Fighting Hawk led her out to the horse and helped her to climb up. He then jumped onto his own horse and led them from the village. She was not used to a horse and it took a long time before they could increase the speed. It took them more than a week to get to the plains. During that time Fighting Hawk explained the life of the Cheyenne; their need for honor, and love of nature. He explained that the Cheyenne people lived by hunting what they needed, careful to only take what they needed to live. When they reached the plains it was easy to follow the vultures in the sky. He showed her the buffalo slaughtered where they stood, and since it was a recent kill she got to see and smell the rotting carcasses stripped of their hides. She vomited at the sight and smell, and her anger flared.

He explained how the white man hunted the buffalo for his hides, and the Cheyenne people would soon starve if they could not think of something to feed them. He explained that there were only so many deer, antelope, beaver and fox in the forest. Without the buffalo they were doomed. They did not attack wagon trains for fun, or for gain, but just to survive. The greed of the white man was killing them all, and since they couldn't stop it, they had to slow it down.

She looked into his eyes and nodded her understanding. She said, "I never thought about why you did the things that you did, only that I was a captive. Now I see why you do them, and I understand what the Cheyenne people were saying now about stopping the white man, before it was too late. I never knew what they were doing, and I never would have thought about it as bad, without seeing this. They should all be killed and driven back to their own lands."

Fighting Hawk smiled at her and said, "You remember what I told you? There are too many to kill all of them, and they would just keep coming. So we try to slow them and hope to find an answer before it is too late for us." She looked at him, and he could see the frustration in her face. He held her as she cried and pounded her fist against his chest.

As they rode back toward the mountains, he looked at her and said, "If you want to return to the white world I will get you clothes and take you to the fort. You can say that you escaped from the Indians and they will take you in." She looked at him with a hard look on her face. She had fire in her words as she spoke, "When you brought me out here I might have said yes. But now that I know what type of people they are, why would I want to go back to them? I will not lose you. The only way that will happen is if you kill me yourself, because I will fight anybody else to my last breath." Fighting Hawk nodded his understanding, but said, "I don't want you to feel like a captive. You have had the chance to leave and you have chosen your life. From now on, you must live that life that you have chosen." She nodded her understanding, and they started the long ride back to the village.

When they reached the top of the first peak Fighting Hawk looked back over the plains. He saw something in the distance and decided to get a better look. They sat and waited until Fighting Hawk could make out the movement of a wagon train. He hung his head as he told her what it was. She still had fire in her voice when she said that they should kill them all, before they could get into the mountains. Fighting Hawk shook his head and said that it was not that easy, not if they wanted to avoid the army killing every Indian that they could find. She nodded and they mounted up again. They rode hard for the village.

When Fighting Hawk returned to the village, he told Gray Eagle of the wagon train moving toward the mountains. It was earlier than they expected, and Gray Eagle sent scouts out to keep watch on their progress. Fighting Hawk told Gray Eagle of another plan that had come to him during the winter. Gray Eagle listened with a smile as Fighting Hawk told of a new deception, and how it had to be staged to make it all work. The village heard Gray Eagle laughing as they talked.

The lodge was quiet when Fighting Hawk returned that evening. Moon Flower shrugged at his look, and he settled himself into his blankets. Little Mule left the lodge. Morning Star, Midnight Star and Bright Dove came and settled themselves across from him. Bright Dove spoke, but in English. "We know that you understand English, and we didn't want Moon Flower to understand what we said to you. Sarah told us about the things that you showed her, and told her. We never understood any of those things, or even why we were taken. We have grown to love our lives here, and the Cheyenne people. We are happy to be here and we don't want to leave. We understand that you do what you have to do to protect all of us, and we are proud of you for caring so much for the Cheyenne people." Each stood and leaned down to kiss Fighting Hawk, then to kiss Moon Flower as they left the lodge. Moon Flower looked at Fighting Hawk; he shrugged and said, "They now know of the buffalo and the danger of the Cheyenne people. In some small way they all feel a little bit responsible, and maybe a little bit ashamed." Moon Flower snorted and stood up. She marched out of the lodge and in short order there was four young women running though the lodge flaps, screeching and laughing. Moon Flower followed them with a stick and waved it over her head. They all were laughing so hard that they couldn't stand.