Chapter 1

"The problem, Maggie, is that I never thought you would do something like that in the first place. So in my mind now is the thought that if you could do that you could just as easily do something else even worse. You planted doubt in my mind, Maggie, and once doubt takes root it never goes away."

"Rob, what can I do, what can I say, to convince you that what you believe happened with Tim did not happen? Okay, even if you refuse to believe me, please, please, take me back!"

Then Maggie told me about some radio advice counselor who said that conflict can be resolved by an agreement. That, if it is broken, the betrayer will sacrifice something deeply important to her or him. The husband, she said, agreed that the antique yacht he had lovingly restored and utterly cherished would be his wife's property if he violated the agreement, and she told him if the yacht became hers under those terms she would take it somewhere safe and have it burned to rubble.

"Years later," Maggie said, "the yacht remained her husband's property, and she knew he would never violate their agreement. I will make such an agreement with you, if you want me to!"

Maggie's words, in a quavering voice, and her tears, convinced me that I should at least consider changing my mind.

"Give me a week, then," I said, "and I will let you know."

All this time, we had just talked, and yes I saw her tears. But we did not touch. When I said, "Give me a week" she gave me one of her beautiful smiles, put her arms around me, and kissed me, so very gently, on my cheek.

My God, did I ever respond! Had I been undressed, every inch would have been erect, ready to begin moments so intense that even my best times with Alicia, Debbie, and a few others would been far exceeded!!

But I pulled away, trying my best to conceal my arousal, and coldly told her, "I will let you know."

It was quite a week. More than once, I recalled the words I had been told after the lie detector test had been administered: "According to all indications, Mrs Bartlett has been completely truthful in all of her answers." And I replayed Maggie's words in my mind time and again. "I have never been unfaithful to you. I have never been unfaithful to you. I have never been unfaithful to you."

Still, there was Alicia, my Nubian Princess. I could feel myself bestirring just thinking her name! And Debbie—"friends with privileges"—could anything be better? Maybe I could not entirely trust Alicia, but Debbie seemed a lock. I knew that Sam was unhappy with Jerome's threesome with Alicia, and I knew what I saw that night made me return the engagement ring to the jeweler! But then, Alicia never told me "I have had sex only with you!!!!" Maggie did tell me just that!!

Debbie told me, much later, that she had sensed something was happening, but she kept her thoughts to herself.

I have never been someone to talk out problems with others, especially my mother, who knew she should say nothing about Maggie. My wet dreams, during adolescent years, happened frequently, and I seldom recalled the dream, just felt the stickiness. Maggie, of course, but later the others and especially Alicia and Debbie, made them unnecessary.