Chapter 18

I took Nancy into the living room wondering all the way there what I could say. I sat down in a big armchair and pulled her into my lap. I held her to me and just stroked her back. I realized I hadn't been paying enough attention to the emotional strain the women were under. I thought I'd given them reassurance yesterday with the extra time I'd spent on our good morning routine.

"Nancy we've got a little problem."

I didn't get any further. She just moaned and shook like her heart was breaking. She sat in my lap and bawled. I felt like I had just let my best friend down. As I thought about it I realized I had. Nancy and I had never been really close before the sickness but I'd never been really close to anybody since my mother and father. Truthfully I hadn't been unusually close to them. I loved them of course and I knew they loved me, but both of them had to work since I got old enough to start school. Mom stayed at home with me until I started the first grade, but she had gone back to work after that.

I wasn't a latch key kid. I wasn't latched. We lived out in the country and when the school bus let me off I just played until Mom got home. If the weather was good I played outside, if it was bad I played inside. We lived out in the country and though there were a couple of boys my age that weren't too far away, I didn't visit them and they didn't visit me. I didn't like either one of them and I don't think they liked me either. I entertained myself and it suited me fine. I didn't know any different. I was a real loaner I guess. It wasn't that I didn't like people. I just wasn't accustomed to being around them very much.

After high school I got a partial scholarship at UT. I worked every spare minute while I was there so I didn't really make any friends then either. I was hired by the startup straight out of school and was in my little cubicle working three days after my last class was finished. Anyone who ever worked for that type of startup knows I didn't have any time for making friends then. After that I was rich.

I just didn't have anyone that I would call a friend. Never had. I met Nancy in the Spoke the first time I went there. She was my waitress. That was about two and a half years ago and I'd seen her there off and on ever since. We had even gone a few places together. It was mostly my doing that we never ended up anywhere together that was convenient for fucking. I could get pussy anytime and I actually started feeling like Nancy was different and I just liked to spend time with her. I would have been afraid to fuck Nancy before. She was more valuable to me for companionship. That was there and then - now we were here and Nancy was crying and I felt like it was my fault.

"Please Nancy. Please calm down. Please try to stop crying. It's not much of a problem. It's just kind of a misunderstanding."

Nancy was able to stop blubbering and she looked into my eyes. Then she just boohooed again and went back to crying. I looked up for a second and saw Karen looking at me with a questioning look. I blew her a kiss and shook my head letting her know I didn't think she could help. She turned around and headed back for the kitchen. Nancy quieted a little then and I was hoping the worst was over. I kept my mouth shut though and just held her and stroked her hair and her back.

"I'm sorry Jack. I didn't mean to tease you. I love you Jack. It's just so hard for me to understand it though. I only ever loved my mama before. My daddy left us when I was only two and I only ever really just had mama to love me and I loved her. I had friends in school and later boyfriends and all. Later, after I moved to Austin and started working I even lived with a couple of different guys. I never loved them though. I knew they were just passing thru even if they didn't. I guess I just don't know how to be in love Jack, but I am. I know that at least."

"I'm in the same shape you are Nancy. You might not believe me, but you're the closest friend I ever had. I mean before the sickness. That little time we knew each other before all this crap was my closest friendship. I'm in love with you now and with all the others. I know it sounds crazy but it's how I feel. I love you all."

I paused a minute and just hugged her tighter. I didn't want her to say anything I just wanted to catch my breath. She understood this somehow and just sat quietly.

"We just had a tiny misunderstanding this morning. You and I did. I think we've all had a misunderstanding since we came together. I'm going to try and tell you how I feel so you can help me help all the others understand. Most men would say I was crazy for telling you this, but I'm not most men.

"You don't have to stop and lay down just because I have a hardon. None of you do. I love you all. I want to, and plan to, have a lot of sex with you and make love to you a lot. That doesn't mean we have to stop and drop every time I get it up. I'm not bragging, but if that were the case we wouldn't get anything else done. Hell until we get a permanent place to live we can't be doing it even every time we both want to.

"It's not like it was, Nancy. Before the sickness men teased and then women teased and there was usually a big song and dance between two people while they both decided whether they really wanted the other. Then they fiddled around some more to try and figure out whether the other one wanted them. We, you and I, and the others, need to be able to tease and do all those other things without anyone thinking they have to do it just because I want to. I know any or all of you will give me some. I just want to be able to be sure the one I'm hitting on really wants to if she says she does. I'd just hate it if I thought you or any of the others ever did it thinking it was required. It would really make me feel bad. Even if you just needed to do something else right then and would probably want a peter ride later on," I said.

"Damn Jack. I think I'm beginning to see why you kept whining about not expecting us to give it to you for payment. Shit Jack, I believe you really do have feelings that don't originate below your waist," she said, and was smiling though her eyes were still red and puffy.

"See. I was just trying to tease you back a little this morning and I just didn't know how or when to stop. I knew you needed to cook and I really need to do some other things today too. I just want you to know that you can tell me no, or not now, and I won't be mad or hurt about it. I'm not keeping any scorecard of who does and who doesn't. I'm not marking down who will and who won't. If you don't want to, or don't have time to, just tell me no. You don't have to explain. I understand no. I expect to do my best to protect and provide for all of you. You can also expect me to try to get into your panties, I promise. That doesn't mean you have to let me in every time I knock. Ok?"

"It's more complicated than that though isn't it Jack?" she asked me, point blank.

"You know it is Nancy, but we can't get it all sorted out right now. I don't even know exactly what it all is. I can tell you I really am in love with all of you. I'm going to do my best to feed, provide for, and protect all of you. I'll need all your help, advice, and ideas. I don't demand anything in return. If I ever feel like any or all of you are taking advantage of me, or anyone else, I'll speak up. Think we can get along using that for a guide for a while?"

"I think that will work for a start Jack. I guess I should go back and try to salvage some breakfast for the others."

"You're right, but I think you and I should go out together in front of everyone and let me give you your good morning kiss though. It will be a signal that everything is still alright."

"I might have known you still wanted to get your hands on my naked ass, even after all this."

"I could always just take you over to that chair and spank your pretty little naked ass. They would probably feel ok with that too," I said, but she knew I was teasing

"Goddam Jack. I thought you didn't want to get me started. Cut that out. That's up there with pissing on my list and we already decided we didn't have time this morning."

"Guess you'll have to suffer a good kissing and grouping then, all for the morale of the troops you understand."

"Fucker."

Nancy and I went out into the open area between the hall entrance and the kitchen and living room. We came together and did a real good morning kiss and grope and I enjoyed her ass with my hands. When we broke the kiss and Nancy turned to head back toward her interrupted cooking I lifted the hem of her T-shirt and gave her a light but loud sounding slap on her cute ass. She blushed a little and scooted on toward the kitchen. I just opened my arms wide and yelled next. Everyone, including Nancy, laughed. The others came for their good morning kisses and fondling - except Janet who was still asleep.

I asked Karen if anyone had checked on Janet. She and Diane had and they said she was fine but still resting. I went to Nancy and asked her if she could fix Janet a tray. I told her I wanted to serve her breakfast in bed. Nancy giggled and fixed a little tray. The others thought it was funny too and they started in on how sweet I was. Nancy told them to hush because I already had a swelled head and they were making it worse. Finally they all settled down to eat their breakfast and I carried the tray to Janet.

She was still asleep when I took it into the room but I jostled the mattress a little and it woke her. She looked at me sleepily and when she saw what I'd done she gave me a smile that made it worthwhile. I set the tray down on a dresser and pulled Janet closer to the edge of the bed but still left room for the tray and me. I propped her up with several pillows and got the tray. I sat on the bed and handed her a glass of juice. I had gone outside and cut a flower off a bush while Nancy was fixing the tray. Nancy had put it in a bud vase on the tray. Janet noticed it and smiled some more. I didn't have the slightest idea what kind it was. I know what a rose is and I know a magnolia when I see it. The rest are flowers to me.

She was starting to tell me how sweet I was when I cut her off with a bite of her pancakes. She realized then I intended to feed her and I saw her eyes tear up. I wanted to tell her I'd already had plenty of that this morning, but I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to explain. I just told her that nothing was too good for my beautiful special Janet and I could tell from her smile and the look on her face I had hit another one right out of the park.

When I'd finished feeding her I kissed and licked the sticky syrup off her lips and then stood up and asked if madam desired anything else before she resumed her nap. She laughed and said no and that she guessed she should go on and get up. I suggested she take a little more rest and promised I would have one of the other servants wake her in an hour or two. She laughed again but agreed.