Chapter 13

It was a thrill to kiss someone new that I loved. Even through the fog of sleep, I recognized the full, wide lips of Helen as she kissed me. My hand reflexively encircled her back, and when her tongue slipped past my lips, I made no protest. She seemed to want to taste my entire mouth, running her tongue across mine, then into every hidden spot.

After a great deal of time, she pulled back, her slightly dreamy gaze complimenting her features. She was still nude, as were the other women in bed with me. However, Kaila and Charlotte were still asleep, and at some point during the night, Charlotte had moved to the other side of the bed to fully embrace Kaila.

"I wish this wasn't our last day." Helen sighed, looking over me at the other two women.

"Is it that day already?" I questioned, thinking over the days. It had been five nights in this bed. This was day six. It took another moment for me to remember that Kaila was working a gig the day after the next, and that we had planned on returning home on day six.

"Aw crap, it is." I groaned.

"I want to tell you something... before they wake up." Helen dropped her voice to a whisper. I noticed that it was still fairly dark, with the light of false dawn filtering in.

I leaned closer, and her mouth came close to my ear. She breathed the words softly, and both their content and delivery sent chills through me.

"I thought about it last night... If I am... I want to have our baby." Her cheek rubbed against mine in a loving gesture. It was intimate and sweet. The thought caused a lump to form in my throat, which I chocked down with a raw swallow.

"I... If you want to." I nodded, my hand still pressed against her back. As she nuzzled me, she took hold of my free hand and pressed it against the bottom of her ribs. She slid it down, over her belly button, until my hand pressed into her lower stomach, right above where I knew her womb lay.

I gently stroked her skin, imagining our child inside her, the final result of the love we now shared. Her fingers held my hand against her, and she smiled as I touched her there.

"I want to. You're the only... male... I ever even considered... mating with." She seemed a bit hesitant about the words she used.

"You mean you've never even considered having a baby?" I asked, a bit puzzled and trying to figure out exactly what she was trying to say.

"Charlotte and I have talked about it, but we always thought she would be the one to... get the uh, turkey baster treatment."

I smiled at the image that formed in my head of Helen and Charlotte in Puritan dress at a thanksgiving dinner.

"And honestly, the idea of some guy whacking off in a cup for us, seemed a little creepy." She continued, stroking my hand against her. It was a very close feeling, like we were sharing more than just the warmth of my hand and her belly.

"I don't want to be creepy. If you are pregnant, I want to be there for you." I affirmed with an earnest gaze. I had meant what I had said in passion the night before.

"The odds... the odds are pretty good I am." Helen bit her lip gently, and then continued. "Charlotte and I have been on the same schedule for a while. If she's ovulating, chances are pretty good that I either just did, or am about to." Helen's face took on a look of resignation.

"And with the amount of times I... uh... that we..." I tried to think of a tactful way to put it.

"That you shot your sperm in my pussy?" Helen was her usual blunt self, and managed to make herself even more attractive as a result. "Yeah, I got myself pretty well thoroughly fucked.

"Who's getting fucked now?" Kaila spoke up, rolling free of her and Charlotte's full body embrace.

"Nobody babe, go back to sleep." I reassured her, completely fruitlessly, since she immediately sat up. Kaila bore that lovely goofy expression that women sometimes have after a particularly good session of lovemaking. It was nice to be able to look over her nude form, at least the top portion, with her generous breasts and lovely hair streaming down over them.

"Are you two sharing secrets?" Kaila giggled, leaning over so that her body pressed into Helen's back and her face was close to ours.

I was about to speak, when suddenly Charlotte stood up. Totally naked, she walked to the door with a blank expression on her face. Before any of us could even register what she was doing, she was out of the room, and the door slammed shut behind her.

"Oh shit." Helen mumbled, pushing herself to the side. Kaila fell back onto her hands, and looked at the door, a confused look on her face.

"What just happened?" Kaila asked, scooting to the side of the bed and standing up. I couldn't help but look at my wife's lovely ass as she did so. A momentary thought that I was now in a room with two women, who might be carrying my children inside them, ran through my head.

"Something's wrong." Helen advised us, giving me a gentle push, indicating I should get out of bed.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, rising unsteadily to my feet. Clothes were scattered about the room, and I grabbed at the first piece of underwear I could, before realizing it was Kaila's. I continued to listen as I searched for my own shorts.

"It's a woman thing, hon.," Kaila explained, pulling a shirt over her head. She looked good, clad in a shirt that I recognized as Helen's "Seaworld" shirt.

"Mind if I use these?" Helen asked from right behind me, holding up a pair of my boxers. I shook my head, finding another pair rapidly, and yanking them over me. I also noted that this morning my customary wood was not quite as rigid as it had been the last few days.

Helen, Kaila, and I quickly finished getting dressed in scraps of clothing that lay on the floor. When we all had finished, we headed towards the door.

"Wait." Helen stopped me as I began to open the door. She quickly placed a quick kiss on both my lips and Kaila's. "I realized last night that I love you both." She breathed as her lips came free of my wife's.

"Why me?" Kaila asked, her eyes sparkling. "I mean, I barely..."

"For sharing him with me. I know he loves you, and well, the fact that you let him be with me..." Helen spoke rapidly, seeming to want to get this out before we left the room. Kaila and Helen looked at each other. It was a look I knew well. They were having a special, heartfelt "moment." Loath as I was to end it, I was still worried about other things.

"Maybe we should talk to Charlotte." I suggested, opening the door. We filed out of the room, the atmosphere thick with nervous anticipation, replacing the feel of love that had previously been present.

In the main room of the cabin we discovered Charlotte, dressed in the same emerald green shirt she had worn the first day, as well as the same pair of pants. She was looking out over the porch, her back to us.

"Charlie?" Kaila asked, stepping into the room ahead of the rest of us.

"I want to go home." Charlotte said, not turning around, and with a flat emotionless voice. Her accent was totally gone, and it was positively unnerving.

"What's the matter baby?" Helen asked, her voice concerned. She glanced at me before looking back at her girlfriend. "Is it the thing with me and Brent?"

"No. I want to go home." Charlotte repeated, that same out of place tone in her voice. It was almost a monotone, devoid of all vestiges of emotion.

"They're taking us home today, baby..." Helen moved behind Charlotte, laying a hand on her shoulder. Charlotte didn't even react, maintaining her gaze out the window.

I stood there, feeling out of place, almost like a total outsider. Charlotte's behavior seemed so very wrong, so bizarre, especially after that passionate kiss that she had shared with me the previous night.

"Charlotte? Why are you crying?" Helen asked, looking at her girlfriend. From my vantage point, I couldn't see Charlotte's face, but the look on Helen's drove home the reality of her words. Charlotte was crying, and trying, very successfully, not to show it.

There was a brief time when no one spoke. Kaila also moved next to Charlotte, placing a comforting hand on her arm. The affection that Kaila and Helen were showing was overwhelming, even from across the room I could feel it radiating outward.

"... not again..." The words from Charlotte's mouth were very soft, and I felt the urge to ask her to speak up. I bit my tongue, hard, knowing that she needed to be able to take her time.

Helen's hand stroked up and down along Charlotte's shoulders. There was a brief shudder along Charlotte's back, and then with a sob, she fell into Helen's arms, her body racked by gasps and sobs. She didn't speak, merely letting out a deep and total sadness. Helen gestured to Kaila, who reached out her hands to pat Charlotte gently on the back. It was a gently, affectionate pat that seemed to steady Charlotte somewhat.

Charlotte's shudders slackened, and her breath came back to her, as she hugged Helen. She lowered her head, inhaling through a deep, tear-dampened sniffle, and then stood upright, turning to face me.

"It is him." Charlotte said softly, looking right at me.

"What did I do?" I asked, sure that I had unknowingly done something horrible. "I'm sorry, whatever I..."

"I can't fall in love with you." Charlotte pronounced, her features set behind her tear-streaked eyes.

"Baby, it's ok. I'm not mad if you do." Helen assured Charlotte, a look of wonder on her face. "I love him."

"And that's why we can't see them anymore." Charlotte stated, her voice trembling at the last words. Her accent was gone completely now, and I felt closer to Charlotte than ever before. We were seeing her at her most open, her most honest. Even though her words were heartbreaking, I felt more intimate with her than I ever had before.

"What? Charlie! I love you!" Kaila gasped out, her eyes wide and pleading.

"I can't love you either. It's... I can't trust how I feel." Charlotte looked at my wife, another tear sliding along her cheek.

"Oh no... Don't do this to us." Helen shook her head sadly.

"I CAN'T, Helen. You at least should understand why." Charlotte moved to the small table, sitting down at the seat across from the window. She looked out, her face illuminated in the pale morning light.

"No. I understand that you've been hurt before, but this is different." Helen's tone became sharp. There was an underlying tone of anger in her voice for some reason.

"How is it different?" Charlotte snapped, her head swiveling to stare directly at Helen. "I'm fucking infatuated. Again! With a GUY! Again! I'm off to get my heart impaled! Again!"

"Charlie, I don't know what's gone on in the past..." Kaila calmly began, before Charlotte cut her off.

"I was a slut. Ok? That what you want to hear? Miss Round Heels of Reno, Right here!" Charlotte's tone was very angry, and totally out of context. The words hung in the air for a time, their presence a poison to the love I still felt.

"I care about you, Charlotte." I said, trying to break the silence that infected the room.

"But you didn't say you love me." Charlotte observed, her eyes back on the window. "And in the past, I would've fell for that." Her tone was icy now, accusatory.

I looked at Kaila, whose eyes were on me, expectant. I glanced to Helen, who bore a similar expression. They wanted me to say it. The wanted me to assure Charlotte of the emotions we had all shared. The emotions I knew in my heart I felt, for all three of these wonderful women.

"I love you, Charlotte." I spoke confidently, knowing the words for the truth as I spoke them.

"You're just saying that, because it's what I want to hear." Charlotte rejected my words, but there was a slight twinge of uncertainty in her speech.

"No! He's not, and don't you dare be a bitch to the one man I actually like!" Helen rebuked her girlfriend.

"I... I'm sorry." Charlotte spoke quietly, a bit taken aback by her lover's harsh words.

"He means it." Kaila broke in, her voice more gentle. "I've been with him for years, and he doesn't throw that one around."

"I can't..." Charlotte repeated those same maddening words.

"Why, baby? If you don't trust yourself, just trust me." Helen spoke earnestly.

"Yeah right, trust the girl who just got her first taste of cock." Charlotte sniffled as she finished the comment, like she expected another rebuke.

"Why are you trying to hurt her?" Kaila asked calmly.

"I don't know." Charlotte admitted after a moment's thought. She turned to look back at me, and I could see that soft tears still fell from her eyes.

"What do you need to trust me?" I asked, trying to be there for her. Charlotte needed me to make the effort. She needed me to love her, I thought.

"I need... time." Charlotte inhaled, with a soft, wet sound. "I need to know this is real. I don't think I should see you for... for a while."

Her pronouncement caused a look of anguish to come over both Helen and Kaila's faces.

"How long?" Helen asked, "Like a couple days?"

"Moah like a yeah." Charlotte replied, her accent returning and a slight smile forming.

"No fucking way. That's just stupid." Kaila spoke up. "I am in love, and I'm not going to ruin it by playing games for a year."

"Ah'm not playin' games." Charlotte objected. "Ah need to know if this is real. Ah'm not jumpin inta bed with him."

"Nobody said you have to!" I pointed out.

"Six months?" Charlotte adjusted her timeline. "Ah think that if Ah feel the sayme way then..."

"And you're making it hard for me." Helen countered. "I really don't care if you don't want to see them, but I do, and I'm not going to have you sabotaging it."

"That's not fayah!" Charlotte complained. "If yew see them, y'all will stay in that "Ah'm in love" mode." She made quotation marks with her fingers as she spoke.

"I like it." Helen shot back. "It's a hell of a lot better than your, "I fucked a lot of assholes so I'll just reject the one guy I should give a chance to." She mimicked Charlotte's gestures, as she spoke rapidly. I was actually amazed that she got the sentence out in one breath.

"All raht. Ah'll make yew a deal." Charlotte said after fighting back a smile. "Two months."

"That's still too long." Helen responded.

"No, it's not." Charlotte stated with finality. "In two month's we'll all know."

"I know now!" Helen noted, but Charlotte continued over her.

"In two months, we'll know. And then we'll all git togetha an decide where we go from heah..."

The room grew silent as we all mulled over what Charlotte had proposed. It seemed long, far too long. I looked at both Helen and Kaila, seeing the pained expressions on their faces.

"I... can live with that, if it's what you want." I said sadly, my eyes on Helen with a regretful expression. Helen looked back at me, biting her lower lip gently, before she nodded in return.

"If it's what you need, baby, I guess, I mean... This already hurts." Helen agreed, her eyes watering slightly.

"She's right about one thing." Kaila said thoughtfully. "This is happening very fast. A little too fast. Maybe we do need some time to think things over."

"And I still think its crap." Helen argued, looking at her girlfriend angrily. "I may still love you, but I want it on the record that I consider this blackmail."

Things were subdued as we moved apart. The knowledge of our impending departure and the conditions had seemed to drain a great deal of the good feelings out of the room. We packed, a rather joyless affair. Despite the sun outside, there was a palpable chill.

Soon, I found myself ferrying bags out to the bus. There was no conversation, and I found myself looking with longing at Charlotte, at Helen, and even at Kaila. I found them returning the expression, but there was a faintly veiled sadness in their eyes. Even in Charlotte, although the look of pain seemed to grow stronger with every glance she shared.

I took a last look back at the cabin as I dropped Helen's backpack onto the floor of the van. It had all gone so well, why did it have to end this way? It wasn't fair. Not after everything we had gone through to come to grips with how we felt. Not after I had truly fallen in love. No, check that. Not after I had expanded my love to the state it should have always have been in.

I felt angry as I walked through the cabin, making certain that the lights were shut off, the oven was silent, and the fireplace was cold. It wasn't at Charlotte. Well, not completely. I was angry with myself for giving up. I was angry for allowing it to happen. I was angry for letting the greatest opportunity of my life slip away.

After I locked the door behind me, I turned, and looked at my little bus. Three beautiful, desirable women sat within, but I dreaded walking up to it. I wanted to make everything better, to wipe clean the events of this morning and to be once again in that wonderful feeling of completeness, expressed through that perfect kiss.

I spun the key in my fingers, walking around to the front of the bus. I sat heavily in the driver's seat, and looked over my shoulder. Helen and Charlotte sat next to each other on the rear seat, but there was none of the closeness I had seen before. I looked at the passenger seat, and saw a blank look on Kaila's face.

"I don't want to pretend this never happened." I said, as I started the bus, reversing so that we pointed away from the cabin.

"I've been thinking. Charlotte's right. Things have been happening too fast." Helen spoke; her eyes on the trees as we pulled away from the cabin, back towards the small road.

"You can't fix this, honey." Kaila laid her hand on mine, and the feeling of connection was suddenly there again.

"But I don't want to lose this." I said softly, looking into the mirror at Helen, to find her eyes staring right back at me. "I don't want to lose you, Helen."

"You haven't." Helen said, her voice steady. "I just don't want you to forget."

The small road ended, and we turned onto Highway One, heading up the coast. The ocean was a beautiful sight, with soft white foam splashing against the rocks.

"Charlie?" Kaila turned in her seat, looking back at Charlotte, who merely stared out the window. She made no response to my wife's question.

"I want you in my life. I never said you had to be with Brent. If you just want to be with me, that's ok too." Kaila seemed to be far away her thoughts leaking from her mouth. "I just feel like there's something there. Something that you're not telling us."

There was only the sound of the bus as we continued up the road. I kept feeling emotions run through me, like I was somehow connected to all of the women in the car. I felt regret, but also love. But over it all, a final blanket, I felt fear. A covering that seemed to draw the life out of all the other good emotions.

"I was in a threesome with a married couple once." Charlotte spoke, breaking her silence. "It was before I met Helen." Her voice was calm, unaccented, but there was an element of confession. "They both said they loved me. They both fucked me."

Charlotte grew quieter as she spoke, the confidence of her speech fading as she continued.

"Then they both got jealous. She thought I was fucking him too much, and he thought I was going to run off with her." Charlotte sighed. "They don't work. Somebody always gets hurt."

"What don't work?" Helen asked, her hand touching her lover on the shoulder reassuringly.

"Multiple relationships." Charlotte explained. "Somebody always gets jealous."

"I don't know." Kaila said, a small smile on her face. "I think we all felt something last night."

"Sure, they all start loving and sharing. It's when we all get pissed off because somebody's fucking somebody else when we'd rather be fucking them."

"That's easy enough to solve." Kaila grinned, looking back. "We just have to be adults and share."

"It's NOT that simple." Charlotte gawked, her features turning red with a bit of embarrassment.

"Well, you got your speech about why they don't work." Kaila replied, "So now I get to tell my love why she's better than that. You're right. They don't work for people who don't make them work."

Kaila seemed happier, a font of hope spilling from her lips as she continued.

"So, one night you want Helen all to yourself, and you get to her room and find her and Brent playing hide the salami. You have three options. One, get pissed off. Two, ask if you can cut in. Or three, recognize that you can't always have things totally your way."

"You make it sound like ahm bein a little kid." Charlotte said, glancing at Helen with a smile.

"No, just not thinking. You love Helen. You love me. And you know that Brent loves you." Kaila looked at me, let a small kiss cross her lips and then looked back.