Chapter 3

The next morning, a parade of people showed up at our cave. Every one of the people from the neighboring cave was there to see the new weapon and, hopefully, to see the smoke come from my head. The children were most interested in that!

There were 5 men, 4 women, and 4 children in the group. The oldest man in the bunch must have been over 30 years old and was their shaman. I wasn't quite sure why, but I felt an immediate dislike for him. He seemed a bit too sly and shifty for my taste.

I warned everybody about the smoke and lit a cigarette. The children's eyes bugged in awe and one of the visiting women fainted. Alice took care of her while Chief Big Foot demonstrated his skill with the atlatl for all the visitors to see. I kept up a steady string of cigarette smoking as I explained how the atlatl worked and showed them how to make one.

The adults were just as much in awe of my knife as they were of the smoke. I had to explain that the knife was a gift from the gods, and I had no idea how to make a duplicate. They were disappointed, but the atlatl was enough of a wonder to keep them happy.

I had Big Foot demonstrate how much more effective the spear was with a flint point attached and pointed out that, at least at the moment, I was the only source of suitable points. They were warned that the flint points broke easily, but they could always get replacements from me whenever they were needed.

The training session lasted the whole morning, right up until we took a break for lunch. Big Foot acted the part of the gracious host and ordered that the visitors be fed out of our larder, since we had plenty of meat (brag!). The women whipped up a delicious stew in short order, and we had an excellent lunch.

After the meal, the other group's shaman drew me aside and asked, "How do you do that trick with the smoke? It is very impressive, I would like to learn it for when I need to put pressure on my people."

I didn't like the man, but I decided that I may just be applying 20th century standards that weren't appropriate to the Stone Age. Anyway, I thought that I would extend professional courtesy and show him how it was done. "You must use one of these things called a cigarette to make the smoke. Hold one end between your lips like this. Hold a source of fire to the other end and draw air in through the cigarette. That will start it burning. Smoke will collect in your mouth as you draw the air through the cigarette. Once you have a mouth full, blow the smoke out past your lips.

"There are other tricks you can do with the smoke, once you learn how to do that first part well. But, remember, and this is all-important, don't let any smoke get into your lungs! Smoke in your lungs will make you cough and can make you so sick that you will wish that you were dead, so be careful. Here, I will show you."

I lit a cigarette and puffed a few times to show him how it was done. I suggested, "It is sometimes difficult to light a cigarette at first. Take this one that I have already lit. Remember, don't get any smoke in your lungs."

The shaman was so anxious to try the cigarette that he practically jerked it out of my hand. He put it between his lips and, despite my repeated warnings, drew in a mighty breath through the cigarette. Of course, he exploded in a fit of coughing as soon as the smoke hit his lungs. He dropped the cigarette into some dry grass; I was afraid that it would start a fire so I took the time to stomp it out.

He continued to cough, and there was nothing I could do about it. I knew that it wouldn't kill him, but I figured that he would pay more attention to my instructions, next time. His face turned red, and then turned blue as he ran out of air. He finally stopped coughing as he fainted, but his face was still blue.

I wanted to help him, but the only thing I could think of to do was to blow air into his mouth while pinching his nose closed. Everybody had run up at the first sign of trouble and were standing around us in a big circle. They were all sure that the other shaman was dead, but he began to stir as I blew air into his lungs.

I kept this up for nearly 10 minutes until his eyes fluttered open. He pushed me away, violently, and shouted, "You piece of shit! You tried to kill me!"

I had fallen onto my back, and I was lying there in surprise as he jumped up and pulled a long bone knife. He swiped at me with the knife, but I rolled out of the way. He drew back for another try when I heard him grunt. Suddenly, there was a spear point sticking out of his chest! Chief Big Foot had saved me by using his atlatl to kill the shaman before he could strike again!

I was afraid that this would mean war with our neighbors, and it would be my fault! But, no! The other chief turned to Big Foot and raised both his hands, palm out, in the sign of peace. "Thank you, Chief Big Foot! You have done my people a great service by killing that turd of a shaman. He has been terrorizing us for years, but I have not been able to do anything about it. He had arranged with evil spirits to kill and eat all of us if we did anything to resist or harm him."

Big Foot said, "I have never killed a shaman, before! I hope Doug can protect us from the evil spirits."

I said, "Chief Big Foot, thank you for saving my life. That's the first time anybody has tried to kill me, and I was so surprised that I didn't know what to do. Rest assured, the gods will reward you by protecting you and all our people from evil spirits."

The visiting chief, Long Nose, said, "You have a powerful shaman. We all saw him bring that evil man back to life. We need a shaman to protect us, too. May we join you? I will resign as chief and gladly call you Chief Big Foot."

"Welcome, Long Nose, to our fire. Under those conditions, we would be happy for you to join us. We have enough room in the cave for all of you, and more. With our new weapons and our shaman to guide us, we will surely have plenty of meat."

I said, "I, too, welcome you, Long Nose, and your people. I will do all in my power to protect you all from evil spirits. I guarantee that no evil spirit will eat you!"

Big Foot said, "Let's go get all your stuff from your former home this afternoon. Tonight can be your first night in your new home." Big Foot was now responsible for 42 people, 16 of whom were children. He detailed 4 men to stay behind as guards and 2 women to watch over the children. The rest of us were soon marching toward the other cave to gather up everything left behind this morning. I was sure Big Foot planned to use some travois to haul stuff back if it was necessary.

When we saw the condition of the people's personal effects, I was appalled! Everything was tattered and dirty, except for the food. Big Foot must have felt the same as I did. Big Foot asked, "Long Nose, why is your stuff in such a foul mess? I can't imagine anyone wanting to live like this."

"You are right. But we had no reason to do any better. Our shaman would take anything he wanted, and we couldn't stop him. We were afraid of the evil spirits that he said protected him. Anything decent he saw, the turd would take, so the only way to keep clothes on your back was not to have anything clean and in good repair. Not only that, he would take any one of the women whenever he felt horny, which was most every night."

Big Foot said, "Leave this junk! We'll give you what you need from our stores. Just bring the food and any thing of sentimental value. Don't worry about the rest."

These hunters must have been very good. There was plenty of meat and cured skins. There were also lots of tubers and greens; no wonder that the people were healthy, even though they dressed like the poorest of the poor. It didn't take half an hour for the people to gather up what they wanted, and we returned to our cave mostly unburdened.

As soon as we reached our cave, Big Foot sent the new people to root around in the storeroom and take what they wanted. There was considerable joy as the people discarded the "rags" they were wearing and changed into good quality clothes. While they were having fun getting dressed, Big Foot asked me to have some sort of welcoming ceremony for the new people, tonight. I immediately agreed.