Chapter 3

I was at a bit of a loose end after Rigmor had returned to Norway. I popped over there to see her a couple of times in the following months. We'd sneak away to her family's summer holiday home for a few hours and we spent a couple of nights in my hotel together.

But it was an expensive courtship and it was obvious that it couldn't last. I picked up hints that at least one of her old boyfriends was sniffing around when I wasn't there. So in the end, Rigmor and I decided that it would possibly be better if I let her get on with her life in Norway, whilst I tried to find myself another love interest in the UK.

It took me a little time to get back into the swing of things - you know, one-night-stands, etc. But once word got around amongst the women in the clubs that I was back on the market, I wouldn't say that I went short.

Every so often Cecilia would call me up at work and suggest that we meet for lunch. I would put her off as much as I could, but I couldn't be rude to the girl; often Rachael would come along with Cecilia as well. Looking back now, I have to wonder if Rachael knew something that I didn't.

That year I went home for Christmas alone. I was not the only one; Shirley and my eldest brother, Brian, had had a bust up some months before so he was feeling sorry for himself as well. The two of us spent the holidays commiserating with each other and getting pissed together.

Emily, when she called in at my parents' house, spent most of her time showing off her twins to everyone. Twins don't run in our family, so Graham's genes must have had something to do with it. Although he claimed there were no twins in his family either and for some reason Graham kept harping on the subject.

This was the second time I'd met Emily's husband and to be honest I couldn't say I took to the guy very much. He struck me as being a little pompous and full of himself. Christ, the guy had his head stuck so far up his own arse, he was lucky he didn't castrate himself when he shaved in the mornings.

When he did manage to collar me in conversation, he kept trying to ask about Emily's younger days, before he had met her. I think he thought he was trying to be subtle with his questions to both my brother and I, but actually he was about a subtle as Saddam Hussein had been when he marched his army into Kuwait. I couldn't figure out why he thought I could or would tell him anything that Emily hadn't already.

Although it was nice to see the folks, they kept talking about Rigmor too much for my liking and, what with Brian being down in the dumps so much over Shirley, I think it would have been a better holiday if I'd spent it elsewhere. Norway, for instance!

As it was so obvious that my brother, Brian, wasn't taking his break-up with Shirley very well, we arranged for him to spend a couple of weekends with me in the New Year. I figured I'd get him out on the town a bit, maybe pick up a bit of spare for him. He did come up to town on two weekends in January, but I wouldn't say he was the greatest company or that he seemed to be much cop at chatting up the women. Damn, the bugger was so hung up on Shirley.

I think it was just before Easter, I'd gone to a play in the West End with some friends of mine. We were sitting in the bar during the interval when someone sneaked up behind me and put her hands over my eyes.

"Guess who?" was the obvious question that she asked.

I didn't recognise the voice, so I decided to play safe. "Kate Moss," I replied.

"No!" the voice said.

"Raquel Zimmermann!" I tried.

"Nnooo!" the voice said, sounding just a little disappointed. "Come on, you can do better than that, Stewart."

"Oh, I know, it's that girl who needs to be put over my knee and have her lovely backside smacked for upsetting my brother so much." Her short sentence had been enough for me to recognise that it was Shirley's voice.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" she asked, the laughter showing in her tone then.

"I never make threats, Shirley. Ask anyone."

Shirley came around the chair and plonked herself on my lap and put her arms around my neck. Then turning to look at the two women present asked, "I'm not trespassing on anyone's territory here, am I?"

Both the girls in my party shook their heads to tell Shirley that I wasn't with them.

"Is there a girlfriend around who's likely to come after me and scratch my eyes out?"

"I don't think so," one of the girls said. "He's still sulking about Rigmor going home.

"That's handy," Shirley said. "I'm without a man this evening myself. Perhaps I can cheer him up a bit."

The next instant she was trying to perform a tonsillectomy on me. Not that I was objecting! Although the thought of Brian and what he would think if he could see us did cross my mind.

Shirley explained she'd come up to town for the weekend with some girlfriends from her work, I'm not sure which of our group invited them to join us later at the club; it wasn't me but someone did.

I think one of the guys I was with was quite taken with one of Shirley's group from the moment he laid eyes on her. It did blossom into a romance for a while, but I'm not sure how long it lasted because the guy wasn't a close friend of mine and Shirley and I never talked about that visit to town of hers in later times, for reasons that will become obvious later.

There must have been about ten of us by the time we got to the night-club after the show. There we joined up with some other friends and the evening took off big time. Shirley and I danced together a lot at the club that night; to be honest she was all over me and as she was the love of my brother's life, I did feel uncomfortable about it. But I consoled myself with the knowledge that their courtship was theoretically over.

When it was time for us all to go home, I found Shirley and her friends a taxi to take them back to their hotel. But Shirley wouldn't get in it.

"I'm coming home with you tonight; there's some things I need to talk to you about," she said loudly, and then leaned close to my ear. "Besides you promised to smack my bum for me!"

I looked into Shirley's determined eyes and thought to myself. "Fuck it," or rather fuck her. "She's a tasty looking chick, and she's not with Brian anymore. If she wants it, who am I to refuse?"

Okay I'd had a few, so I could claim that my judgement was impaired; but all's fair in love and war - all right, sex! Shirley climbed into my taxi with me and snuggled up beside me.

"Shirley, what was it you wanted to discuss that couldn't wait until the morning," I asked, still not admitting to myself what we were about to do together.

She lent forward and closed the driver's window so that it was less likely that he would hear what she said.

"Stew, Emily and Rigmor told me that you went down on women when you make love to them." She said in a halting and embarrassed sounding way.

"I have been known to on occasion." I replied. "It does depend on the woman somewhat and how well I know and trust her."

"Trust her not to talk about it?" she replied with a quizzical tone to her voice. "Well, both Rigmor and Emily told me about it."

"No, silly. It's a dangerous world out there; one should be choosy about who you go to bed with nowadays and take the right precautions."

"Oh, my, I never thought of that. I suppose that comes from not living in the big city and not being promiscuous."

"Shirley, you're in a taxi taking you to my flat where I assume you intended that I ravish you. Wouldn't you call that being promiscuous?" I asked.

"Oh, god, no, Stewart. Look, I don't do this sort of thing all the time. I've only ever slept with two men before. My boyfriend at school who took my virginity and that was a bloody disaster, I can promise you. After that one time with him, the only other man I've slept with is Brian."

Although she'd drunk a lot that evening, for some reason I was sure that Shirley was telling me the truth.

"So why are you in this taxi with me tonight?" I asked.

"Because I want to see if what Emily and Rigmor said is the truth. I want to know what it's like to have sex with you and what is it that they said was so great about you going down on them."

"Didn't Br..."

"No, he didn't. He was happy for me to blow him but he never offered to go down on me."

"Did you ask him to?"

"No, of course I didn't," Shirley said as the taxi pulled up at my block.

We didn't say much to each other on the way up to my flat, although we kissed, or I should say that Shirley snogged me all the way up in the lift. I did kiss her back but the talk of my brother had brought the old conscience back into play. Look, Shirley was a beautiful girl and she had no problems pushing all my right buttons, but thoughts of Brian kept going around in my mind.

"So why did you never ask Brian to go down on you? I assume he asked you to give him blowjobs," I asked her. To tell the truth, I think I was hoping to stir up Shirley's conscience a little thinking it would help mine win the battle. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

"I don't know. I think I'd always looked on it as dirty until Emily and Rigmor started raving about it. I'd heard girls talking about oral sex in the past, but... I don't know. No guys ever offered to do it to me and I didn't know how to ask Brian."

"Just a minute. You didn't break up with Brian just because he didn't go down on you, did you?"

What I can only describe as very guilty look came over Shirley's face.

"You want the truth?" she finally asked.

"Yes, I do Shirley. My brother's really cut up about you two breaking up."

"He's not the only one - life's been hell without him."

"Well, what the hell did you two break up for? Brian hasn't got the faintest idea of what he did wrong."

"God, Stewart, Brian didn't do anything wrong. It was more that he didn't do anything, really."

"And just what do you mean by that?"

There were a few seconds before Shirley answered. I felt she didn't really want to say what she was about to.

"Well, to be honest, it was the sex thing. We did the deed often enough." She paused again. "But with Brian it's a kind-of wham-bang-thank-you-ma'am thing. He left me hanging half the time!" she blurted out and then started to cry.

"Oh, shit! Did you talk to him about it?" I asked, taking her in my arms, just to comfort her.

"No, I've never been able to talk to men about sex," she mumbled through her tears.

"Well, you're talking about it to me."