Chapter 2

"His constitution is weak," Jacob heard a man's voice. The voice sounded like his surfing buddy Derek. Why was he talking about the government?

Jacob stretched but kept his eyes closed. He wasn't ready to wake up because he was still very tired after the strange night. He couldn't remember what he dreamt about but he knew it was weird. His bed was comfortable, but felt different. He rolled onto his side to see if he could return to slumber. The night was cool. He must have left the window open, so he instinctively reached for the blanket. He couldn't find it. He opened his eyes.

Oh, shit!

"Hello," cheerfully said Guinevere. "I see you are still not dead though you are trying very hard."

Jacob was dismayed as everything came back to him. He was still here! He hadn't smoked anything for months, so this had to be real. He was in a strange land in a strange time and worst of all the waves were twelve days away. He might as well be dead.

He sat up abruptly and looked around.

"Where am I?" he stammered. The room was made of stone and was amazing. Colorful banners and ornate shields decorated the walls.

Lancelot said, "You are in one of the guest rooms."

"So I am really here," he mumbled.

"You certainly are," said Guinevere. "We could not leave you knowing what you know."

"We will come to an agreement with you and your people on what you want," stated Lancelot firmly.

"Uh ... yeah ... okay," Jacob said only half hearing.

He grabbed his duffel bag. Since he was stuck here, he might as well see what came with him. He pulled out his cell phone, surf wax, suntan lotion, two water bottles, and several packets of cherry Kool-Aid drink mix. There wasn't anything useful with any of that. He searched the outside pockets of the bag and pulled out a forgotten lighter.

"Shit!" he grumbled. This was it? Whatever caused him to end up here couldn't have given him better things than this stuff? He mindlessly flicked the lighter and the flame briefly appeared.

"You are a wizard!" exclaimed Guinevere.

"That is how you knew about us!" said Lancelot.

"Wizard?" he questioned. What the hell were they talking about now?

She pointed at his hand.

"It's just a lighter." He flicked it again.

"You control fire," Lancelot said.

Jacob noted the change in attitude. It was almost reverent. This could be good. "Yeah, I'm a firestarter." He flicked the flame on again.

"So you are a wizard?"

"Oh, yeah, armor dude, especially on the waves."

Lancelot took Guinevere aside to talk privately.

Jacob pointlessly opened his cell phone. Some good this would be. The stupid screen was inexplicably locked and displayed some pointless "This Day in History". The day wasn't even about surfing. It was about a solar eclipse which meant the waves were probably bitchin' on that day, but it was long ago so he wasn't there. Who messed with his phone? It better not have been Ashley. Just because he let her feed him didn't give her the right to change the settings on his phone. There were a lot of mini-marts around the beach area. He could go to another one.

"You shall eat with the knights of the round table," announced Lancelot. "I shall let King Arthur know we have a visiting wizard."

King Arthur? Did he say King Arthur?

"So I shall eat with the king?" he asked incredulously.

"You shall sit by my side and I shall introduce you after the meal."

Jacob gulped. The king,

"I shall have some clothes sent to you," said Lancelot.

"Um ... before you go," Jacob said embarrassedly. "I have some ... well ... body functions to take care of."

"You cannot wait?" said Guinevere surprised.

"It's been a while."

"I see."

"Perhaps," said Lancelot, "if the king is pleased with you tonight, he may send you one of his girls."

"Oh, no, no, no!" said Jacob. He was with Suzee last night. That was taken care of. Suzee just lay there, but he got off in her. "I mean ... the regular functions."

"You have a chamber pot," said Lancelot and pointed at it.

"And a privacy screen," said Guinevere and pointed at that.

"Oh, right, right!" he said trying to act merry. "I am like so totally tired that I completely overlooked it."

"Perhaps a longer rest would do you good," the queen said.

"I am sure you are right."

Lancelot said, "I will return for you later."

After Jacob used the chamber pot, he walked out onto the balcony of his room. It overlooked a hilly, finely manicured lawn and garden. The castle must be very big if he was unable to see the exterior wall. Was there a moat? He wanted to explore, but he was afraid of getting into trouble.

He returned to the bed and slept. Maybe, just maybe, he would wake up out of this dream.

"You are not dressed?" questioned Lancelot when he returned.

Jacob lay on his side on the bed. He was bored, even though he was in the midst of new adventure. He didn't want it. He wanted to be at the beach.

"This is all I have to wear." Jacob pointed at his swim trunks.

"The wardrobe." Lancelot pointed at a tall piece of furniture. "Did they not bring clothes?" He opened the doors and pulled out clothes.

"They must have brought them while I slept," explained Jacob. He looked at the outfit. "You want me to wear that?" It was like so not him.

"It is for you."

"Okay. Whatever, dude."

"I will return shortly. Hurry."

Jacob cinched the pants with the rope belt. He looked at the shirt. It was too frilly. He noticed a plain shirt in the back of the dresser. He chose that instead.

"You are dining with the king," said Lancelot.

Jacob jumped at the sound of the knight's voice. How did he sneak in so quietly with those boots?

"So the other shirt?"

The knight nodded.

Jacob quick changed. He went to his duffel bag, palmed his lighter, and followed Lancelot downstairs.

Jacob was goggled eyed. The dining hall was incredible. The walls were covered in gold and silver. From the ceiling hung the finest linens and silks. He never went to a Medieval Times show, but it would have nothing on this. This was undoubtedly a room for a king. It was freakin' righteous!

"Sit here," Lancelot said, point at a chair at the table.

Jacob complied. His head constantly swiveled to take everything in. Lancelot sat on his right. A man much like Lancelot sat on his left. Jacob felt too squeezed sitting between the two big knights. The other knight was Sir Gareth.

Everybody rose. A firm hand under Jacob's shoulder from Sir Lancelot ensured he stood also. An older man with a magnificent crown entered and sat at the head of the table. Everybody sat.

The meal was sloppy. Jacob loved that he didn't have to worry about manners. It was just a bunch of guys being guys. Jacob was amazed. It would be a wonderful dream if not for the fact the surf was twelve days away and he was back in time.

"Where's the queen?" Jacob whispered. Guinevere was nowhere in sight.

"She is in her chambers," replied Lancelot.

"She's not hungry? Is she sick?"

"She is very well."

"But she's not here."

"She eats with her servants."

"I thought she would eat with the king, since she is the queen, you know."

"This is for the King and his noblemen. No woman comes here unless requested not even the queen."

"No woman?" Jacob replied with surprise.

"Sometimes women dance for our pleasure."

"Oh." That was a weird rule. Jacob always found dinner more entertaining in the company of women.

"Follow me," said Lancelot when dinner was winding down. He rose.

Jacob walked behind.

"Be very respectful," the knight whispered. "This is the king."

"Okay," Jacob whispered back.

Lancelot said, "Your majesty, may I present..." He suddenly stopped and looked at Jacob in confusion.

"I am Jacob, your majesty." He did a slight bow.

Lancelot was visibly relieved when Jacob quickly spoke up. It was embarrassing that he didn't know this foreigner's name.

The knight said, "He is a sea dweller discovered just outside the king's grounds. He is also a wizard."

King Arthur looked at Jacob. "You are a wizard?"

"Yes, sir. On the waves I am a master, but in other things I am a minor wizard. May I present a small demonstration?"

"You may."

"Observe," said Jacob. He held up the lighter. With a flick, it produced flame.

A hush came over the room as all looked.

"I am at your service," said Jacob with another bow. "I pledge my friendship."

"Impressive," said the king. "Together with Merlin, the kingdom will be even more formidable."

"Merlin?" questioned Jacob.

"Our wizard," said Arthur. "It will be good to have a second wizard. Merlin thinks too highly of himself as though he himself is the king." The men at the table nodded agreement. "You will bring balance."

Jacob worriedly looked at Lancelot. He wasn't too into meeting a real wizard.

"I will introduce you to Merlin tomorrow," the knight said with a hearty slap on the back. Jacob almost dropped the lighter. "Tonight you rest. Well done."

Jacob met many of the knights and he forgot about the worrisome meeting with Merlin.

Jacob lay alone in his room on the bed staring at the ceiling. What did he just get himself into with his lighter trick? Merlin was a real wizard. What would happen when it was discovered he couldn't do basic wizard-type stuff? He wanted to be far away from here, but there was no way to escape from the castle.

The door opened but he didn't hear it. When the bed jostled, he looked. A girl stood at the foot of the bed. She stared down at the floor. She was a brunette with long, flowing hair. She was a pretty thing.

"Hello," Jacob said brightly.

"Sir," she said without looking up.

"Do you need something?"

"Need?" she questioned. She dared to glance at him before looking back down.

"Did Lancelot send you?" Jacob tried again.