Chapter 12: Tuesday Morning - Foggy Mountain Breakdown

Rebbecca

I'm trying to get to my classroom, yet the hallway seems impossibly long. Hands are everywhere. Touching me. Squeezing my boobs and my ass. Pinching me. Poking my pussy and my nips. Stroking my clit, running in and out of me. There's a finger pushing on my asshole. It hurts and at the same time if feels good. DAMN!

It wouldn't stop! The hands. The fingers. Some of it feels really, really good. Some is painful and makes me want to scream, yet only sounds of pleasure and wanting more are coming out of me. My nipples are crinkled up so hard they ached. Every touch is sending bolts of pure energy to my core.

I'm right on the edge of a really, really, really big orgasm. Nobody will help me get there, and they are keeping my hands out to the sides, a hard cock in each. My core keeps getting hotter and hotter. Like a spring winding tighter and tighter seeking release. Fluids were leaking down my legs. My cunny is a lake.

"Damn it, I need relief NOW!" I moaned, but no one heard me.

There was a knock at my door.

"Becky, time to get up!" Mom shouted through the door. I heard her footsteps fade down the hall. The hands faded, the hall turned into my room. The memory of a twisted nipple and dry pokes at my vulva remained. Horny and confused, I opened my eyes.

I don't remember getting under the covers last night, but it feels nice. Damn. I was naked! The Program was real and I'm in it. I had a boyfriend! No, I had a mountain with wonderful caves. Yet, my house of cards was gone. And right now, I'm alone. Lonely. Horny. I'd never been horny before. Not like this. Was I turning into a slut? Would everyone know and make fun of me today?

As I got out of bed, I felt stiff and sore between my legs. I'd lost my hymen! A guy had driven me to some fantastic orgasms with his tongue and fingers. I had a boyfriend! And, I wasn't hiding anymore. No more house of cards. Where is my muse?

I reached for my robe. "How silly," I said to the painting on the easel. "I'll be back to finish you next week, sorry." My art. Oh, my art. Suffering because of the Program. Stupid Program. Then I saw my painting of Luis and I felt calm. My core heated more. "God, my Mountain, I'm sorry. I'm a slut. I'm scared." I told the painting, hoping he could hear me and wrap me into my cave.

As I opened my door, I felt naked. Exposed. Oh God, and this was just at home! As I walked to the bathroom door, I couldn't get the picture of the hallway in my dream out of my mind. I felt the hands touching me. I felt my body responding. Would Luis still want me?

"You okay, Bec?" Jason had just come out of the bathroom. He was dressed like I was but his hair was damp.

"No," I squeaked. I hugged him and started crying. "I can't do this..." He let me cry. His chest didn't feel like my Cave, but it helped. "I'm ... I'm ... I don't know what I am. Scared? Confused?"

"You're doing fine, Bec — all things considered." I hugged my thanks. "I ran into Luis this morning."

"When?"

He chuckled, "well, I didn't run into him, literally. We ran together for a couple of miles. Look, I'll get you to school and to Luis, okay?" His arms surrounded me and comforted me. I felt safe. I nodded into his chest. My eyes were drying, finally.

"Jase, am I doing the right thing?" Was I using Luis, and him using me? Did I have any control over my life? Had I ever? I thought I had, but...

"What thing?" His voice was gentle yet concerned.

"Falling for Luis." Am I? I think so. Or...

"What do you mean?"

"I feel like I'm using him to get through the Program."

"You and he need to work that out, Bec." He paused, "I don't think you are." He collected himself and held me at arm's length. "Take your shower, dress, eat, and I'll take you to school."

"I'd rather not dress and have to do the strip. I'd rather not go to school." I'd rather just go back to the way I was before school yesterday.

"If you don't go, it's another week." He paused. "Without a partner and without relief."

"I know. I still don't want to go." Breathe, Rebbecca, breathe. Just like Luis taught me.

"Take your shower. We can talk at breakfast."

"Thanks, Jase." I went into the bath. I tried to let the water wash my fear away. Fear. DAMN LUIS! Fear and stories. I liked my stories and my house of cards and hiding in plain sight and ... Pull yourself together, Becky!

This seemed so simple yesterday. Now, dressing was deciding which pair of shoes that went with being prodded all day. Prada would be perfect—don't have any. Maybe I should splurge on a pair for this week. I grabbed my bags and went down to breakfast wearing comfortable Dr. Scholl's flats. Mom was dressed just in an apron. Dad was in his usual three-piece business suit, but not hiding behind the paper. Jase was still nude.

"Good morning, Becky. I'd be dressed in the uniform of the week, but I have an early meeting. Forgive me?" My dad, asking me for forgiveness? Standing in the middle of the kitchen, I dropped my bags and started bawling. I didn't deserve their support. Not after the way I've treated them.

"I can't do this!" I wailed. Before my knees gave out, I was the center of three people huddling me, petting my hair, holding me up. Loving me. Another cave. They held me until I finally wound down to the occasional sniffle.

"Becky?" Mom got my attention. "We need to plan tonight. Okay?"

It was the right thing to say — a focus outside of my stories. "Okay, Mama." The group got me to the table. There was food and juice in front of me.

Before I could shrink into myself, she asked, "What did you have last night?"

"We started with, I think they called it antipasti, and..." I told about the rest of dinner while staring down at my food. 'Buck up, kiddo.' Oh, hi Muse. When did you come back? 'When you started this oh woe-is-me BS. That is not us!.' I felt her shudder right down to my core.

"Veal Santa Rosa?" Dad asked. Coming back to the moment, I nodded. "His mom is a chef?" I nodded again. "Helen, pull out all the stops. Luis's mom owns and is the chef at the best restaurant in town. We've been there before. Cuccina Rosa."

"Okay..." Mom really drew that one out—at least three syllables. "We have our work cut out for us. I can't out do her on the high end, so we should go with our family's best. Cozy, homey, good, and plentiful. That should appeal to a football player." My Mountain. Yes, that's how I'll get through the day. Focus on the mountains! I vigorously nodded my approval. Mom smiled.

"She told me she'd teach me how to make the veal." I was finally able to look up and engage.

"WHAT!?!" My father almost fell off his chair. "Do you know that's a more closely guarded secret than the nuclear launch codes?" His shrill voice made me flash to memories of my youth and being in deep trouble.

"Ah..." I was confused. What did I do wrong? I thought I had done well and that Carmella liked me. "She offered. Then Luis got upset..." My eyes started to mist. "Now you..." The mist turned to a river as my insides turned to mush and my brain went into overload. "I don't know what I did wrong!" I finally wailed.

My father gathered me in his arms. "Becky, I'm so sorry. I was shocked and reacted. I take clients there all the time and know how strongly Carmella protects that recipe. I'm actually very proud and honored she cares that much for you and trusts you ... You must have made a big impression. I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

Naked in school. Boyfriend. Parent's supporting me. Being called Becky again. Now ... Now, my father apologizing to me? Pride? Honor? I'm so lost right now and need a safe place to think. God, where is my Mountain and his Cave?

"Yes, Daddy, I do. Thank you." The words came out before I realized it. It felt good to hear myself say it. "I love you." That got me a smile and another hug.

"Mama, I really need to get to Luis. Yet, we still have dinner..." Want. Need. Which one should rule?

"Becky, you go. I'll plan a good meal and get things ready. I'll pick you up right after Art and we can get everything ready. Does that sound good?"

"Thank you, Mom." I gave her a big hug. I could really get accustomed to all this hugging. I whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too, Becky. Now git!" She turned me towards the door and gave my butt a little swat.

"Let's go, Bec. We can catch Luis coming out of the gym if we hurry." Jason, my hero of the hour. I was unaware of the drive. I was trying to sift through all that was happening to me. My father apologizing. And proud of me. My mother helping and asking if a plan was okay. Everyone being supportive. One minute feeling good, the next crying my eyes out. I know it's not about my period, that's a couple of weeks off. Thank goodness. The Program would really suck then. Did the Program suck? Or, was I really learning and growing and just didn't like changing? How am I going to look at this a year from now? Ten years? How am I going to get through today?

"Bec, we're here." Jason's words pulled me from my thoughts. I gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. I was out of the car headed from the gym before he turned off the engine.

Luis

"Well, good morning Becca." I'm sure my smile cracked something in my face. It felt bigger and wider than ever. A new sensation of warmth spread through me. Joy? Love? "What a wonderful surprise."

"I guess." She came into my arms and I hugged her to me. Breathe, kiddo. Breathe. Try to remember that women think differently. Way differently. Center! Hard to do with a beautiful naked girl in your arms whose breasts are pushed into your bare stomach.

"Is everything okay?" In through the nose, out through the mouth. Forget Junior. Yes you, Junior!

"No. No it's not." Her anger surprised me. Breathe!

"Tell me what's going on, please?" Stay calm. Is she going to dump me after less than a day?

"I left my old world behind. I'm scared that I'm using you. Just inventing another story as a way to survive this week. I don't know. I'm scared. I don't want to hurt you..." She started crying. I held her and let her wind down.