Chapter 7

"It has to be one or the other," Mandy was adamant.

"It could be both or neither, it could be a meaningless question."

It isn't anything until you measure it, Paul thought.

"Paul you are just trying to confuse me." Mandy and Paul had moved outside from the library. Their discussion had gotten too loud for the library.

"No I'm not. I am being serious. Von Neumann summed it up best; He said something like,"

"Science makes models (That is, mathematical constructs that with a few words of explanation allow you to predict what will happen). The sole justification is that the model works."

"Sometimes light can best be described as a wave and sometime light can best be described as a particle. That doesn't mean it is one or the other. It just means that the wave model works sometimes and the particle model works sometimes."

"It still doesn't make sense."

"It is weird. I'll grant you that."

"If you are teasing me I will never forgive you."

"I promise you, you'll never find out. I mean I'm not."

She laughed. "Just for that you need to go over acids and bases with me." She understood perfectly. She didn't want him to leave.

"You know that already. Would you rather have dinner instead?"

"OK."

"All I have is a motorcycle so wear blue jeans. Is 7 o'clock good for you?"

"Sure. Meet me in front of my dorm."

After dinner Paul showed Mandy his house. Arthur was gone. They made out on the couch. Girls do get frisky after a bike ride, Paul thought. He didn't try to do anything besides kissing her. He wanted to talk to her.

He should have heard of her. She was brilliant; a first class mind. Not quite in his league but only a handful were. She should have been a well know chemist. What had happened?

"Mandy", he said when he came up for air. "What are you going to do after you get your degree?"

"I'll probably get married and have children."

"You're not going to be a chemist?" Paul was shocked.

"I will, but I'll wait until my kids are grown."

"Mandy, that's a mistake. You are brilliant. You can achieve great things if you try."

"Having children is a "great" thing. That's what I want to do. If I don't have a career, it won't bother me. If I don't have a family, now that would bother me."

"I don't understand."

"Poor Paul," she said with a small sad smile. "You can understand the most difficult things but you can't see the obvious, can you?"

"I guess not."

She leaned back against the arm of the couch and pulled him to her. He's going to have a sad life, she thought.

Paul drove her to her dorm that evening. They met for breakfast the next morning.

"You are one of the very few people I can have a serious discussion with," Coming from Paul that was high praise.

Come on, we're going to be late to class." Paul took Mandy's hand as they walked from the cafeteria and stopped. Ava was right in front of him. He wanted to drop Mandy's hand but that would be too rude.

"Hi Ava, do you know Mandy Stills?" Mandy did notice that Paul introduced Ava first. If she had needed a sign of where she stood that would have been enough, but the look on Paul face told everything.

"Mandy, this is Ava Wells."

"Hello Ava."

"It is nice to meet you Mandy. Don't forget to call me Paul." Ava waved as she walked inside.

Mandy knew she wouldn't have Paul for long. She'd enjoy him while she could.

Paul didn't pay attention in Chemistry. He was embarrassed. Mandy was bright and beautiful girl. Why had he let her see how Ava affected him? Because you're an asshole, that's why.

Mandy acted as if nothing had happened but he was sure he had hurt her. Maybe he should stay away from her. It wasn't to be.

"Paul," she said after class, "would you take me riding this afternoon? I love the feel of the freedom I have on a motorcycle." Her request reminded him of Ann.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Let's go to Cedar Key. Do you know where it is?"

"No, I've never heard of it."

"You'll love it. Drive west on Highway 24 until we hit the Gulf of Mexico."

"OK. Do we need to bring anything?"

"I'll bring a beach towel."

Paul did love it. The beach and the waves were small compared to the Atlantic, but it was still pure white sand and clear blue water. They had stopped at a colored barbeque to buy pork sandwiches, potato chips, and sweet ice tea. Mandy held the bag with their dinner in it the last 10 miles of the trip. The rest of the time she had sat on the beach towel and wrapped her arms around Paul.

They ate in the cool of the late afternoon and talked about chemistry. Jacob Bronowski said that, "Great science is like great art. Once you understand it the world is never the same again."

James Burke used the same theme in his series, "The Day the Universe Changed."

Paul remembered the first time he saw an impressionist painting; the world looked different to him from that day on.

He also remembered the first time he understood what a mole was. It was so simple and so complex at the same time. A mole of carbon-12 atoms weighs 12 grams, so there are 6.02 x 10²³ atoms in a mole. That tells you so much about it with such a simple statement. Like the brush strokes of the floor in van Gogh's Bedroom at Arles, so simple and so very complex.

Mandy understood and saw the beauty in the physical sciences. She too heard nature calling to her saying "listen, this is important." Chemistry was not a class she had to take; it was a course she loved. What Paul couldn't understand is how she could turn her back on that call. Not many were called, to not answer was unthinkable.

"Paul, I'm sorry for you. You're not likely to understand until it is too late. I love science, but I love life. I mean to live life completely. To have all the good that it can give me. The love between a parent and a child is one of the most precious gifts of all."

They sat quietly and watched the sun set over the water. Earlier in the year, the sand flies and mosquitoes would have eaten them alive. Tonight they were safe. Mandy pulled Paul to her. She thought second base would be appropriate for tonight. If I can control myself, she thought. Our romance will be short.

She pulled him down on top of her and spread her legs so that he was between them. They kissed and kissed but he made no move towards her breasts.

Maybe a not so subtle hint would work. She pulled his T-shirt over his head and rubbed her hands over his chest. Luckily she didn't have to ask. He unbuttoned her shirt and reached around to unhook her bra. He kissed and nuzzled her breasts as he pulled her bra off. Her hand reached around his head and pulled him to her.

Without conscious thought her hips began to thrust against him. He responded by thrusting back. OK, maybe a little past second base, she thought. She quickly finished. It's been a long time and that was nice.

Paul started to unbuckle her pants. "Please don't," she said. "I'm sorry."

"It's OK. Either of us can say stop at any time. Not that I'm likely to say stop."

Mandy laughed. "Boy's are all alike," she said.

"Yes, in some ways."

"Or at least pretty much alike," she said as she rubbed him through his jeans.

"Mandy, unless you want to take this farther, maybe you should stop."

She was going to only let him get to second base but she hadn't decided how far she would get. When she made up her mind, she unbuckled his belt, loosened his pants, and pulled his member out. She began to stroke it as he caressed her breasts.

"Roll on your side away from me," she said. The bad thing about boys was they made a mess; the good thing was you could aim them somewhat. Most of it went on the beach and not the towel. Mandy pulled him into her lap, his head resting between her breasts; her hand still on him as he shrank. It had always seemed magical to her the way a boy would swell and shrink.

She resisted the urge to taste what was on her hand. No need to scare him now, she thought.

"Do you want me to return the favor?"

"No. Not tonight."

She kept her arms around him on the way back. He had warned her to keep her head out of the wind. Bugs stick to your teeth just like they do to the grill of a car. He needed a better helmet. He had goggles to protect his eyes but nothing for his mouth. He also needed a jacket it was cold.

Mandy slipped her hand into his shirt and rubbed his chest. It was exciting, he had no fat, and she could feel all the muscles.

Paul was remembering how her chest had felt. It was exciting, she was soft and firm in just the right places.

Paul went to the stadium that night. Was he leading her on? She knew he wanted Ava but she didn't seem to care. He decided that he needed to talk to her about it. He wasn't looking forward to it.

Why did he have this damn conscience?

He liked her and he liked being with her. The sex play was fun. They didn't have to go all the way. It was fun to be close to her; to watch her get turned on. He had only been concerned about himself the first time, this actually was more fun. They met for breakfast on Thursday.

"Mandy we need to talk." Dear God, did I actually say that?

"We still have this weekend, don't we?"

Paul was stunned. "I don't understand you."

"I know, but I do understand you. I told you I want all the good things I can get out of life. Spending a few more days with you will be a good thing. I'm not going to go all the way with you, but women like to be with men just as men like to be with women. I love you even though I know I can't have you. Isn't that romantic?" she laughed. "Where are we going this afternoon?"

They didn't go anywhere. It was raining; a hard Florida downpour. Running 100 feet in it was just like jumping in a pool. They found an empty classroom and Mandy helped Paul with his English homework. Then they talked about life. The rain stopped and the sun came out at 5:00. They ate in the cafeteria.

After dark they carried a tarp and a blanket outside of town to a field. I need saddlebags on my bike, Paul thought. Too bad they look so dorky. Paul held both the blanket and the tarp. He only dropped them once. In the field, the blanket went on top of the tarp; the tarp would keep them dry. Otherwise the wet ground would soak through the blanket in minutes.

Paul showed Mandy the major constellations. He tried to remember what had been known about individual stars in the 50s. He played it safe by only mentioning bright main sequence stars. Mandy loved it. With her marvelous memory, she learned the constellations quickly. She already knew the basics of a star's life.

They didn't even make out. They held hands and watched the Milky Way move across the sky.

Saturday Paul drove Mandy to Juniper Springs. It was more civilized than Ichetucknee; it had real restrooms and a snack stand. They waded through some of the smaller springs and fed the catfish in the main spring. It was cold. I wish the women were wearing thin bikinis, he thought. Nipples are so attractive.

They ate in Ocala and drove to his house. He grabbed a beer for each of them. Where does Arthur get the beer? He wouldn't divulge his source.

Paul sat down on the couch but Mandy pulled him into his room. She locked the door behind her. "Paul, promise me that we won't go all the way."

Paul almost laughed. He picked up his physics book, held it in his left hand, and raised his right hand. "Mandy. I solemnly promise on this Good Book, that my penis will stay out of your vagina."

"That's not the Bible."

"It is for me."

She kneeled in front of him. "Then drop your pants." There was no mess to clean up when she finished.

"Can I return the favor this time?"

"You better. If you don't, I'm going home now."