Chapter 20

Jane and Paul sat on the couch in the living room. Paul was laying length wise propped up by two pillows; Jane was leaning back against him, sitting between his legs. His arms wrapped around her supporting her breasts; her hands on his arms. They had dropped their shoes on the floor.

"What did you want to say?" she asked.

"I want to say some things, ask some things, and listen to what you have to say."

"Can I start by saying that I'm sorry?"

"Sure, and I've already forgiven you, but it's not just what you did, it is what you didn't do."

"Like what?"

"Like give me the benefit of doubt and ask me what I meant before picking up that poor guy."

"Paul, it hurt me so much to hear what you said and see you holding her hand."

"Does it bother you when I say that I love Alice? When I hug her or kiss her?"

"No, but that's different. Alice is a lesbian. She wouldn't want you even though she loves you."

"Would you say Lucy is a special person?"

"Yes. All the more reason to worry about her."

"No. All the more reason for me to keep her as a friend. More than half the world is female, why would I restrict myself to only having male friends?"

"But what you said in the interview sounded so terrible." Jane was close to crying.

"Only if you were already worried and I've given you no reason to worry, have I?"

"No."

"Jane, what about bringing Pete over?"

"What do you mean?"

"What did you hope to accomplish by bringing Pete over and saying that you were spending the night with him. Were you hoping we would fight over you?"

"No!"

"Did you want to go home with him or did you just want to hurt me?

"I don't know."

"Think about it."

She hesitated. "I wanted to hurt you."

"Because I had hurt you?"

"Yes."

"That won't work. If we do that, we won't stay together very long. We cannot afford to get even. We can't afford to keep score. When one of us has a bad day, the other has to be tolerant. If we answer Tit-for-Tat, we will divorce before the year is out. One of us will have to give in. Whether we like it or not, one of us is going to have to give in each time we disagree. But we can't keep track of it. It can't be someone's turn to give in. What are we going to do? We're both strong willed and we're used to being right. I hope we will set aside areas in which we acknowledge the other spouse is better equipped to handle. I respect you as a person, I respect your opinions."

"You need to be the calm one. I get very happy and I get very mad," Jane said. "If you get mad every time I do, we'll fight all the time. I'll try not to get mad so often, but I don't know how much I can change. My biggest concern is what are we going to do about children?"

"You still don't want children?"

"Paul, I want children. I don't want to be a baby making machine. I want a career."

"My biggest concern is your anger. I worry about controlling mine and I have to worry about yours. I'm not the person that made the world unfair. Don't take your frustrations out on me."

"What are we going to do tonight?"

"Jane, I love you. I'm going to ask you to spend the night and put this behind us. Not to forget it, but not to dwell on it. Learn what we can and move on."

"I need to wash my hair."

"I bought some shampoo," Paul replied. He couldn't see her face but he knew she was smiling.

"OK. Let's take a shower."

After their shower Jane sat cross-legged in bed with Paul's head in her lap. She pulled him up to suckle on her breast. It would be so nice to hold a baby like this, she thought. As he sucked on her breast it grew harder and harder as hormones were released that, if she were lactating, would start the let-down response. She relaxed and let the feeling wash over her. An orgasm soon followed.

"Mmmm, that was nice. Scoot up and put your head on the pillow," she said.

When he did, she climbed on top of him and guided his hardness into her. She rode him until he came, and then stayed on top of him. Soon asleep, she was rudely awakened when he shrank and slipped out of her.

Wednesday afternoon Paul and Jane were enjoying a walk around campus. "Dr. Brennan has asked me to do a lecture series for the Physics Department."

"That's an honor, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but it's also a potential problem."

"Why?"

Paul moved closer to her and spoke softly, "the first time around a president caught all kinds of Hell because he got a blow job from a White House intern."

"From a guy?"

"You're such a sexist," Paul laughed. "No, it was a girl and not even a very pretty girl. I didn't understand why he would pick her from all the available women; almost all women were available to him. Someone had to explain it to me. Look at a picture of JFK in a crowd. Most of the women have a look on their faces that says 'fuck me.' Clinton wasn't looking for a blow job. She just caught him at the right (or wrong) time and he gave in to his hind brain."

"The same thing could happen to me because I'm famous," he continued. "This lecture series will only make matters worse. Things have calmed down and this will start it up again."

"Maybe I could handle it. Maybe if I know you're mine it wouldn't bother me," she said.

"Even if you could handle it now, and you can't, if I got in the habit, how would I stop? How would you feel when you were fifty and I was bonking twenty year old co-eds?"

"What are you going to do?"

"Give the lectures and listen to you when you tell me how stupid I am."

"You are an idiot."

"Thanks baby."

The lecture series went well. Arthur, Alice, and Steve came to the first one; no more. They didn't have the math or science needed to understand what Paul was saying. Grad students and teachers came, some from other universities. Paul didn't bonk any co-eds except Jane.

Jane did witness the "Fuck me!" look on the faces of some co-eds and she didn't let Paul out of her sight. She had caught up in her classes and was in the library studying for finals. Paul was reading scientific journals and making a nuisance out of himself.

"Paul, will you go away and let me study. One of us is a serious student."

"I'm a serious student."

"Of what?"

"Of you."

Jane sighed. "Please?"

"OK. I'll do it if you'll go to Jamaica with me during Christmas break and score some ganja."

"What is ganja?"

"I'll explain when we get there. Is it a deal?"

"Yes, now go away."

"I am not smoking that." Paul and Jane were standing at the corner of Haight and Asbury in San Francisco. They had flown from Jamaica to Miami and then to San Francisco.

"Jane, it's like the nickel bribe. It's the principle of the thing, not the quantity that matters. We aren't going to smoke enough to get high, but I'm going to take a picture of you and you're going to take a picture of me. We'll even find some nice person, if there's a nice person awake at this time of night, to take a picture of the two of us. You will smoke and you will inhale. I don't want you to pull any Clinton crap and say that you smoked but you didn't inhale."

"Is this really worth it?"

"Trust me. In a few years it will be hilarious."

"You are so weird."

"I love you too. Just be happy I'm not making you drop acid. I should have ordered some, it isn't even illegal. We could have taken one tenth a threshold dose."

"Why would I drop an acid?"

"Let's drop the subject instead. Take a hit and smile."

"I cannot wait till 2016 and you don't know what will happen next."

Paul drove the Chevy to Palatka so he could pull a trailer with his bike. Jane took the Spyder to Lake Wales so she wouldn't have to borrow her parents' car and she could come to visit him. He knew that Jane was coming up sometime before Christmas, he just didn't know when. He rode his bike to Dog and Suds to see if anyone he knew was out tonight. They all look like babies, he thought.

Ann Griffin was at one of the tables. His first girlfriend. She isn't Griffin any more, he thought. What is her name? Her husband's name was Bill but that was all Paul could remember. Paul walked over to the table where Ann sat alone.

"Hi Ann, I hope you're doing well."

"Paul. It's good to see you. I hear that you're doing very well."

"I'm happy. My life is turning out better than I could have hoped for. How about you?"

Ann stood, it was obvious that she was pregnant. "I am very happy."

"Can I get a hug from you for old time's sake?"

"Sure."

"I'm so happy for you," Paul said as he hugged her. "You deserve a good life. How is Bill?"

"He is wonderful. He's getting food for me. I eat like a pig," She laughed.

"Can I hang around? I'd love to talk with the two of you."

Neither Paul nor Ann saw two people watching them - Jane from the car and Bill as he came back with the food.

"I saw your girlfriend on TV," Ann said as she sat down. "She's beautiful."

Paul sat on the other side of the table. "She's not my girlfriend. I caught Hell for that interview. They cut out the part in which I said Jane Cooper was my girlfriend."

"Oh my God! She must have been pissed."

"You have no idea."

"Bill, this is Paul. He's an old friend." Paul stood and offered his hand.

"Nice to see you again Bill, congratulations."

"Thanks."

Jane arrived at the same time.

"Jane," Paul said. "I would like you to meet Ann, an old friend of mine, and her husband Bill. Jane is going to have a baby."

"I wondered who was hugging my boyfriend." Paul was suddenly alert. Was Jane mad?