Chapter 12

Paul couldn't sleep, so he was sitting in the stadium. Something was bothering him. He was happy around Jane. He'd been happy around Ann and Mandy. He was unhappy when he was with Ava because she wasn't happy. The point is that his emotions were always tied to the person he was with. When he sat here by himself, most of the time he just... existed, no particular emotions. Did he have emotions of his own other than anger or did he suck emotions from people around him? It wasn't a pleasant thought. It was better than the last time around but not a healthy life. Suddenly he was very tired. He didn't bother to change clothes when he got to the house. He took off his shoes and fell asleep.

There are real advantages to dating girls in your classes, at least if you don't break up with them. You get credit for the time you spend in class with them. That gives you some extra time to bum along with your friends. And yes, girls have an internal timer that tells them if you are spending enough time with them. The actual time varies but all of them have a timer. Paul had taken Jane out to see a movie on Tuesday (and had a nice little make out session) so Thursday was spent goofing with Arthur, Anna, and beer. Steve came over with none other than Susan Smith.

"Well this is a blast from the past. How are you Susan? Pick a chair, any chair, Steve doesn't own any of them." Paul was happily buzzed.

Steve laughed, Susan didn't. "You've certainly changed Paul."

"I'll take that as a compliment. You're even lovelier than before."

"He's about halfway drunk. Pay him no mind," Arthur said.

"And you aren't," said Anna.

"Of course not, I'm just being a good host. Would either of you like a beer?" They both did.

"Where's Jane?" Steve asked.

"I was under the impression that this was a night for male bonding so I didn't invite her."

"You're going to be in trouble," Anna smirked as she said it.

"Only if she finds out."

"She will."

Crap, Paul thought. She'll tell Jane next time she sees the two of us together. She loves to watch me squirm. OK, no more age jokes.

Alice and Suzi walked in without knocking. "Good Lord, it's a Thursday night convention. We should do this every Thursday," Suzi said cheerfully.

"Grab a beer, you know where the fridge is. Alice, can I schedule a consultation with you sometime this weekend?"

"That depends on how much time you spend with Jane."

Paul looked at his watch. It was 8:30, What the Hell. He called Jane. "Jane, I didn't plan this but it seems there's a party at my house tonight. Would you like to come over?"

"Paul I'm in the middle of washing my hair."

Paul was silent. That line told him nothing.

"OK. Come pick me up."

When they got back, Paul introduced Jane to Susan, Alice, and Suzi. The couch and chairs were taken so they sat on the floor. Arthur told or made up a story about his brother. It made Alice laugh so hard she got the hiccups. The next 15 minutes were spent investigating cures for hiccups.

"Paul," Jane said. "Can I talk to you alone?"

"Of course, I've been trying to think of a way to get you into my bedroom."

"Close the door," she said after she had pulled him into the room. She was blushing because of the wolf whistle Anna had made.

"Now I have you where I want you," Paul said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Paul, we need to talk."

He felt his stomach drop. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. "What about?"

"You like Alice, don't you?"

"She's a good friend. I love her, but I love her like a sister, not like a girlfriend." You moron, don't tell your girlfriend that you love another girl.

"That isn't what I meant."

Am I just stupid? Could other men actually communicate with women? "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I've heard that Suzi Lawless is queer."

Time to bite the bullet. "So?"

"Alice probably is too."

"I say again, so?"

"You don't care?"

"It doesn't bother me. Does it bother you?"

"Yes. Queer women are not like queer men. Queer men are sissies. Queer women sometimes attack other women."

Paul couldn't help it. He started to laugh and couldn't stop. He had to grab her arm to keep her from leaving.

"Jane, I'm sorry I laughed, but if you knew Suzi and Alice, you would know that there is no chance that they would rape you. Most lesbians are not anymore dominating than straight women. Those that are, are no worse than men. You are safe with Alice and with Suzi. Alice is as good a friend to me as Steve or Arthur."

Jane was silent.

"Please don't tell anyone. They can be kicked out of school. What they do together doesn't hurt anyone. Can you live with it being a secret?"

"It's not a very good secret, but I can live with it. I don't want to be alone with them."

"OK," he smiled. "As long as we're in my bedroom is there anything you want to do?"

"Uh-uh. Let's go into the living room."

"That was a quickie." Anna was on a roll and Jane blushed.

The last five minutes had sobered Paul. He tried staying that way for the rest of the evening. There's no telling when a female will strike or which direction she will come from. I'd better stay sober when I'm with a girlfriend. So much for a night with the guys.

Jane rode back to her dorm with Paul. Are you going to ask me out or not? she thought.

"Do you want to go out tomorrow?" he asked.

Finally! "Sure, what do you want to do?"

"Why don't you let me cook dinner for you?"

"What are you going to cook?"

"I'm not sure."

"Let's change plans. Pick me up at 6:00, we'll go grocery shopping and then I'll fix you dinner. You have to clean the dishes."

"Sounds like a plan." I hate shopping.

Jane was thoughtful. She made enough lasagna to last Paul and Arthur a couple of days. She also made a salad and garlic bread. Garlic breath is OK as long as both of you have it. Too bad they couldn't get any wine.

Arthur would have to wait for his lasagna since he wasn't home. "I'm going to powder my nose," Jane said after dinner.

"OK. Do you want a beer?"

"Yes, please."

Paul opened two beers and sat on the couch. He handed a beer to Jane when she came back. She didn't sit down, instead she took his free hand and pulled. He stood like a good boy and she pulled him into the bedroom. "Please close the door." Like a good boy he did.

"I thought you didn't want to be in the bedroom."

"Not with all those people in the house."

Paul took her beer and placed it with his on the nightstand. He kissed her and lifted her onto the bed. He lay down beside her. "You have garlic breath."

She leaned across him giving him a perfect look at her cleavage and took a sip of beer. "Now I have beer breath." She kissed him. "Which do you prefer?"

"I like both of them." He looked at her chest.

"I meant my breath not my breasts," she smiled as she said it.

"That's what I meant too. I don't know why you would think anything else." He pretended innocence.

"Because you weren't looking at my mouth."

"Sorry. Sometimes my hind brain is in charge and sometimes my frontal lobes are in charge."

"I don't mind this time. You didn't think that reach across was an accident did you?"

Yes. He didn't answer. He kissed her. As lowered his lips to her neck he said, "I like your breath and your breasts." He placed a hand on her right breast. She wrapped her arms around him.

He reached behind her and unhooked her bra through her shirt. She stopped kissing him. "You're too good at that."

"I'm just a natural. It's a skill that came to me as a teenager." It was luck. He kissed her throat.

"You're still are a teenager."

He slid his hand under her bra. Now only her thin shirt was between his hand and her breast. "It's buttons that give me the most problem. Maybe you'll let me practice."

"Mmm. Maybe."

Paul was making better grades than Jane was and he didn't have to study much in science or mathematics. They were studying in the library. He needed to review old material but that was not nearly as hard as learning new material. Jane was frustrated. When she got frustrated, she got angry.

"What the Hell do you mean by VAT EG SHP?"

Several students looked up from their tables. If she ever calmed down, Paul was going to suggest they study at his house. There she could yell obscenities whenever she wanted.

"It's just a way I remember the partial derivatives. It helps sometimes with the problems. It's not the way Dr. Bond solves the problems but it works. Write VAT across the top, SHP across the bottom, and draw an arrow from P to V and S to T. Then put E on the left and G on the right. The partial of G with respect to T at constant P is S. Since you go against the direction of the arrow, S is negative. It's simple isn't it?" Paul was pleased with himself.

"Fuck you!"

"Jane, it's not my fault."

"Do not be so damn happy."

"Am I supposed to act like I don't understand? I didn't do anything to get this way. I was born like this just like you were born pretty. We should both accept that there are people in the world that are smarter than we are."

"There are people smarter than you?"

"Yes." Probably. "You're smarter than I am in languages." Surely you understand women better.

"Yes but we aren't French majors are we?" She put that on par with garbage cleaners. "We're physics majors."

"We're making too much noise. Let's study over at my house."

"You just want to play with my boobs."

"OK. I'll go study at home. You can insult me better if I'm not here. If you want to study quietly or if you want to go get dinner, please give me a call. I would like to see you after you calm down."

"Fuck you."

She really is competitive, he thought.

Once Paul got home, Arthur stopped him before he could go into his room. "Steve and Susan are in your room," he said, "and from the noises I don't think you should go in there right now."

"Shit! I'm going to start charging rent by the hour and each couple has to bring their own sheets." He left the house and rode his bike to a greasy spoon. The house was empty when he returned. He changed sheets, watched TV, cursed Steve and Susan, cursed Jane, and went to bed.

Jane didn't meet him for breakfast and wouldn't talk to him before class. She was still mad. How can she still be mad over what happened yesterday? After class he had to grab her arm to keep her from walking past him. "Jane, what's the matter?"

"You know damn good and well what the matter is!"

"You can't still be mad about the library, can you?"

"You bastard, you know it is not what happened at the library that I am mad about."

If this doesn't convince her that I am stupid then nothing will. "I have no idea what you're talking about."