Chapter 34

Woman, I know you understand
The little child inside the man,
Please remember my life is in your hands,
And, woman, hold me close to your heart,
However, distant don't keep us apart,
After all it is written in the stars...

(From "Woman,"

-- John Lennon.)

Patty Robinson was doing her best to burrow underneath the covers of her bed.

It was the weekend after all, and she couldn't understand why she kept waking up this early. She'd just be drifting off when the patter on the glass somehow changed in volume or pattern, and she'd find herself awake again, listening to the sounds resonating through her window.

The last awakening seemed even more permanent, as she huddled inside her cocoon of sheets and blankets, trying to block out all sight and sound. The knocking of the rain seemed really loud now...

She heard her bedroom door open, and realized it hadn't been the rain knocking this time.

"Patty?" her mother called softly.

"Moooom," she moaned sleepily, "I don't have school today... go away!"

"Honey, school isn't why you need to get up. It's something else."

She folded down the blankets to expose her head, red hair going in all directions.

"What?" she asked, looking bleary eyed at her mom.

"Look out the window, dear."

She stared at her blankly, before shaking her head and slowly rising to a sitting position.

"The window?" she asked.

"Yes. Get dressed. I'll go get some towels and dry clothes ready." With that, she turned and disappeared out the door.

'What the fuck?' Patty thought. She slid off the bed and went to the window that overlooked their back yard. She blinked at the morning light, looked outside, and gasped.

Her parents had never taken down the swing set that she'd played on growing up. It still got some use when they had visitors with young children. It was mainly still there because the back yard was huge, and no other needs had come up that needed the space it sat on.

Bobby Taylor was sitting in the rain on one of the swings, in jeans and a t-shirt. As she watched, he gave a desultory push with his foot, swinging himself slowly. She could see that his clothes were soaked through, clinging to him as he rocked back and forth, oblivious to the morning chill.

It was a good thing her mom had told her to get dressed, or she would have run out in her pajamas. She scrambled around to find jeans, a sweatshirt, and tennis shoes, and ran downstairs. Her mom met her in the kitchen, where there were sliding glass doors to the back yard. She lifted a large beach towel from the top of a tall stack, and handed it to her daughter. There were some clothes of her dad's in another pile on the kitchen table.

"There's hot chocolate over on the stove," her mom said. "Don't sit out there with him while you talk, dear. Drag him if you have to, but get him in here to dry off. I'll be down in the rec room if you need anything."

She turned to leave, but then stopped for a moment. "Patty... try to find out if his parents might be worried about where he is, and make him call them if they could be. We wouldn't want them to worry needlessly, like... other times... when he's been hurt."

Fully awake now, Patty looked at her mom and nodded. She agreed that Bobby had to be hurt somehow, to sit out there like that. And she certainly knew about the other times he had been hurt. Giving her daughter an encouraging smile, Mrs. Robertson disappeared down the hall.

Patty slid the glass door open and slowly walked to Bobby. He had been staring sightlessly at the ground, but looked up at the sound of her approach. He gave her a completely mirthless smile.

"I'd hug you, but I'd get you all wet," he said softly.

"Like I'd care?" she said with a warm smile. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Well... thanks, Patty. Can I come in?"

"Of course! There are some dry clothes and hot chocolate waiting for you."

Bobby grinned, and this time his smile just barely reached his eyes to lessen the dullness of his stare.

"Your mom, right?"

"Right," Patty replied with a grin. "Some things never change, you know?"

She saw some of the light in his eyes retreat again. He nodded somberly but didn't reply.

"Come on in," Patty said tenderly. "Let's get you dried off."

She held her hand down to him, which given the difference in their size was largely symbolic. He grasped her hand gratefully, and followed her inside.

After Bobby had stripped and finished toweling himself off, he'd changed into the jeans and sweat shirt from Patty's dad's closet. The sweatshirt fit fairly well, and it hung down far enough to conceal the fact that Bobby couldn't button the pants. His own clothes were now tumbling in the dryer.

He and Patty were sitting at the kitchen table, holding steaming mugs of hot chocolate with a few miniature marshmallows floating on top. Patty's mom had been providing them with hot chocolate since they were little, seemingly whenever the temperature outside was less than sixty degrees.

At Patty's insistence, Bobby had called home to let his parents know where he was, in case they needed to find him. He could hear in his mom's tone of voice that she could tell something was up. But she'd accepted his story of dropping into Patty's house to 'say hello' at face value.

The two long time friends were sitting in companionable silence. Every now and then Bobby would unconsciously let loose a long drawn out sigh. Patty ignored them, and waited for him to start talking about whatever was bothering him. He had mentioned a few days before that he and Sammy would be staying at the Simpson's overnight. So she had a least some idea of what could have caused him to wind up in her back yard.

"Patty... I know you'd tell me... if I was being stupid, right?"

Patty chuckled softly.

"You know you can always count on me for that," she replied with a smile. He smiled briefly in return and shook his head.

"Besides," continued Patty, "after all the help that you and Collette have given me and Morton lately, I'd say I owe you guys at least that much."

"Thanks," he said sincerely. "Anyway, Collette and I... well, I don't understand."

"Understand what?" Patty asked gently.

"She's telling me that she loves me. But she's also telling me... she's going to date other people when she goes to college. And I don't understand why she would do that."

Patty raised her eyebrows at him. "There had to be more to it than that," she observed. "Why don't you tell me about it from the beginning? You spent the night with her last night, right?"

"Yeah."

Patty listened attentively as Bobby recounted his morning conversation with Collette. She asked a few clarifying questions. She raised her eyebrows again, when she learned of Bobby's summer school plans. Eventually she felt she'd heard enough to get the general idea of the problem.

"So," she summarized, "she said she didn't want to date other people, but she wouldn't promise you she wouldn't date other people, and she didn't want you to promise you wouldn't date anyone else either?"

"Right. You see? I mean, how fucked up is that?" he asked plaintively. "How could she say she loves me, and then say that?"

Patty sighed slightly. Could she explain it to him? She had to try...

"Bobby... for her to say that, to me, it would mean... that she must love you... very, very much."

"What?" asked Bobby in disbelief. "How do you figure?"

She sighed again. "It means that she hopes you will stay together. But she's telling you, that if you decide you would be happier with someone else... she will step aside. She wants whatever is best for you, even if it means that she will lose you... even if losing you would hurt her very much."

"But then why would she not want me to try to get us back together in school, sooner?" he asked in exasperation. Patty smiled somewhat sadly at him.

"Bobby... it's a lot like what Morton said to me, when we had our big fight. I told him I was going to go see you. And he said, and I could see it was tearing his guts out to say it, that if I would be happier with you, happier than I would be with him... that he wanted me to stay with you."

"He said that?"

"Yes. And after I calmed down, I saw it for what it was. Like Collette said when I came to see you guys, she said Morton had fucked up, big time," she recalled with a smile. "But even though it would hurt him to see me leave him, he still wanted what was best for me."

Patty moved closer to Bobby and put her hands on his shoulders and looked him squarely in the eye.

"That's why I said that what Collette was saying to you... meant that she loves you, and will do what's best for you... even if you don't realize... yet... that it really is what's best for you."

He sat looking back at her, trying to come to grips with what she'd said.

"Why can't I decide for myself what's best for me?" he asked in frustration. "You did, right? You decided to take Morton back."

"Yes, I did," Patty agreed. "And you can do the same."

"What do you mean? She said she didn't want me to try to join her in college faster, and that she was going to date other people! How can I take her back when she left me?"

"Did she say she didn't want to be with you anymore?" Patty asked calmly.

Bobby squirmed under Patty's patient gaze. "Well, not exactly, but it's the same thing!"

"Bobby," she said as kindly as she could, "you're being stupid."

"I am not!"

"Yes, you are. She's telling you she'll stay with you, as long as you want her to."

"So am I!"

"No, you're not. You're telling her you'll only stay with her, if she agrees with your plans. You're telling her: 'it's my way or the highway.'"

"She said she won't promise she won't date other people!"

"And she told you why. Tell me again. What did she say?" she prompted him.

Bobby stewed in silence for a minute. Eventually he muttered reluctantly,

"She said if she promised me that, then she knew I wouldn't date anyone either. And that I'm too young to do that."

Patty smiled at him. "And you are, you know. You're too young. So is she, really. But she sees something in you that she hasn't found with anyone else before. So she's willing to give staying with the younger guy a shot."

She leaned forward and kissed Bobby on the forehead, then drew back and smiled at his anguished face.

"So... are you going to give her a shot? Even if it's not exactly the way you'd like to do it?"

He sighed yet again, shaking his head. "I hope she'll still want to. I... I said some pretty mean things when I was mad at her."

"Well, I've seen you beg for things before," Patty said teasingly. He snorted.

"I'll never understand women," he groused. Even as he said it, he immediately thought back with chagrin to Collette telling him:

"Bobby, you just have to accept the fact that there will always be things you don't know or understand about women... especially this woman."

"No freaking shit," he said, half to himself.

"What?" asked Patty with a grin.

"Oh, nothing," he replied.

He was thinking he needed to get his own clothes back on, and go back to the Simpson's home to do some serious groveling.

Just then, the doorbell rang. They could hear Patty's mom go to answer it.

Mrs. Robertson answered the door, and was startled to see Collette Simpson standing on the threshold, in a soaking wet t-shirt and jeans. It was obvious she hadn't taken the time to put a bra on this morning, as she kept her arms folded across her chest to cover the material clinging to her ample bosom.

"Why, hello, Collette!" she said, trying to sound cheerful amidst all the teenage angst that was swirling around her. "My goodness, you're soaked!" she exclaimed. "What happened to your car?"

Collette looked back at her with a surprised look on her face.

"You know, I didn't think of that," she replied in wonder.

"Let me get Patty," Mrs. Robertson said. "I'm sure she can find you something to throw on while your stuff dries."

"Mrs. Robertson," Collette replied softly, her eyes flicking around what she could see in the house, "uh, Bobby's parents said he was here. Is he... still around?" she asked hopefully.

The older woman gave Collette a sympathetic smile.

"He's still here, dear. Now, you go on up to Patty's room. I'll send her up to help you find something to wear."

In response to Collette's panicked expression, she leaned close and whispered, "Don't worry. I'll make sure he doesn't leave."

She smiled gratefully, and headed for the stairs.

Mrs. Robertson went back to the kitchen.

"Who was at the door, Mom?" asked Patty.

She smiled softly but didn't answer as she turned to the kitchen pantry.

"I'll just put some more hot chocolate on. Patty, could you go upstairs and help our new guest find some dry clothes?"

Bobby abruptly stood up. "Collette's here?" he asked urgently.

"Yes, she is," Mrs. Robertson replied, gesturing for him to sit back down, "but she's not ready to see you yet, Bobby. If anything, she looks even wetter than you did when you got here. Here, have some more hot chocolate," she said to him kindly, as Patty headed upstairs.

Patty's bedroom had its own bathroom, and she found Collette perched on the edge of the bathtub, her clothes and hair dripping into the tub and on to the surrounding floor tiles.

"Geez, Collette! Did something happen to your car?" she asked. When Collette just glared back at her, she added, "Never mind. There are some towels in that cupboard. I'll go find you some clothes."

That proved to be difficult, because of their difference in size. Eventually she found an old sweatshirt of Bobby's for her top half, and as a skirt with an elastic waist band for her bottom half.

When she returned to the bathroom she found Collette, naked, standing at her sink and large mirror, raiding Patty's cosmetics to camouflage her red eyes and emotional fatigue. Patty consciously made an effort to take her eyes off her former lover's body, and handed her the clothes.

Collette put them on and stood to look in the mirror. With the waist stretched around the larger girl, the skirt length only came down to just short of mid thigh, and given that she had no panties on underneath it...

"Patty, this makes me look like I want to get laid, not talk to him," Collette fretted.

"Well, we'll just wrap one of the beach towels around your waist. He knows you're drying off, so it won't seem weird or anything," replied Patty.

Collette shrugged, sighed, and said, "All right. I just hope he'll talk to me this time."

"I think he will," said Patty reassuringly. "I've been talking to him, and I think he'll listen to you."

"I hope you're right," Collette said. She looked pensively at Patty before continuing.

"You know... this is just about the first time that Bobby... well, has acted his age with me. Usually I don't even think about it. Mostly, he acts older than me. That's one of the reasons we get along so well. He knows he acts too serious a lot, and I know I don't act serious enough a lot. We balance each other out really well. It's fun. And we can be honest with each other and not get each other mad. But... not this time."

"From talking to Bobby," said Patty, "it sounded like some pretty heavy stuff you were talking about, Collette. Some guys wouldn't get that kind of stuff, like... ever."

"Yeah," sighed Collette. "And most guys don't have to deal with their girlfriend going off to college when they're a junior in high school." Collette looked discouraged. "I honestly don't know if trying to stay together is the right thing for him to do."

"Hey," Patty interjected, "stop worrying about his future so much. Don't be so afraid to go for what you want Collette. I think you may be trying so hard to do what's best for Bobby that he's getting the idea that you don't want to try very hard to stay together."

Collette looked at her in surprise. "You think so?" she asked in alarm. When Patty nodded soberly, she exclaimed, "Shit!"

"Yeah," agreed Patty.

Collette got a determined look on her face. "All right then. If you're sure he wants to talk to me... could we use your room to talk?"

"Sure, no problem. I'll go get him."

Collette moved to Patty and gave her a firm hug.

"Thanks, Patty. But I think I should go ask him to come up."

They headed for the stairs together, Collette nervously holding Patty's hand.

They found Bobby sitting at the kitchen table being quizzed by Patty's mom about the high school baseball team. He was telling her the team was still undefeated. They had already clinched the league championship, and in a few more weeks they would begin playing in the state championship tournament.

Mrs. Robertson winked at Collette, and Collette, in turn, gave her a grateful smile of thanks for her ensuring Bobby remained on the premises.

"Well, I think I've monopolized you long enough, Bobby," said Mrs. Robertson. "Good luck! We'll be rooting for you at the games."

"Thanks, Mrs. R.," Bobby said sincerely. But he was already turning away to look at Collette.

"Hi," he said softly.

"Hi," Collette said in return. They looked at each other without speaking, and both were pleased to see looks of cautious affection from the other.

"Come on," Collette said, holding out her hand, gesturing towards the stairs to the second floor.

Before going to Collette, he first went to Patty, and gave her a hug and a kiss on the top of her head.

"Thanks, Patty," he said simply.

Patty just smiled and nodded. Bobby then took Collette's hand, and they went up the stairs to Patty's room.

They were sitting on opposite ends of Patty's bed.

Collette was still working herself up to speak, when Bobby decided to grovel first.

"Collette, I'm really sorry for what I said before I left. Patty helped me think through some things. After talking to her, I realized how big an ass I'd been."

"It's all right," she replied with a sigh. "I guess you got to see how I go about losing boyfriends. I'm pretty good at it, too. I never mean for it to happen... but with every boyfriend I've been with, I eventually seem to have a spasm where I go from an affectionate girlfriend to bitch woman. After that, they're afraid 'bitch woman' is the real me, and its 'adios, Collette.'"

She smiled affectionately at him. "You're already staying around longer than most guys after a spasm. Anyway, I'm sorry for crapping all over your plans before I gave you a chance to talk about it."

Bobby moved to sit next to her, and they shared a brief kiss, and then a firm hug.

"Patty told me," Bobby began tentatively, "that you telling me you won't promise not to date other guys at college, means... that you really love me. You love me enough to step aside if I decide to date someone else."

Collette nodded sadly. "She's right. That's what I was trying to tell you," she said factually.

She began to be alarmed, as Bobby began to take on the expressionless mask that she knew marked a building anger inside.

"Collette," he said, as calmly as he could, "right now, the idea of you dating someone else... well, it makes me want to break things. I'm sorry, but you're my girlfriend, and... and I love you. I picture some college guy putting moves on you, and... well, I just can't stand it."

"Bobby... that's very sweet." She reached to his face, and affectionately touched him. She could almost feel the heat building inside him.

"But, Bobby," she said softly, looking directly in his eyes, "I need you to calm down. This isn't easy stuff to talk about. But we have to talk about it. Can you do that for me?"

He could feel, and she could see, his anger dissipating in response, making it easier for her to think about what she wanted to say.