Chapter 27

It was 10:00 p.m. on Saturday, before Barbara and Bobby finally got home from the wedding rehearsal dinner. Barbara went straight to bed. The expectant mother wanted to get plenty of rest over the last two nights leading up to the wedding on Monday.

Bobby spent some time watching TV and channel surfing. He felt restless, almost anxious for some reason. He eventually realized what was bothering him: he was worrying about Julie.

If nothing else, he needed to let her know he still wanted to be friends. The screaming ending to their last phone call felt horrible as a last memory.

He finally decided he should go find her house and see how she was doing. He knew she hated to have people see her home, but he didn't want her to hang up on him. He remembered where she lived from when they had dropped her off after the beach vacation.

It wasn't far, and he decided to walk it. He and Raul had repaired his bike after his accident, but he didn't ride it much any more. Too many bad memories came up when he used it.

By the time he arrived, it was 10:30. He could see there were lights on at one end of the trailer, while the rest, including the area by the door, was in darkness. He figured that Julie would be where the lights were, since she had told him that her mom drank herself to sleep almost every night.

He went to the lighted window, and hoping he wasn't doing something really stupid, knocked softly on the glass.

He heard some scrambling on the inside, and he stepped back from the glass so as to not appear threatening.

"Who's there?" said Julie in a threatening tone. "I've got a gun!" she added.

"Julie, it's me, Bobby," he called. He took another couple steps back from the window.

The corner of one of the curtains lifted up, and the top of Julie's face appeared at the window ledge, visible from the eyes up.

"Bobby... just go away, all right?" she said pleadingly.

"I just wanted to be sure you're okay, Julie," he replied. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"I'm sorry too, Bobby... But I can't be your girlfriend any more."

He felt, rather than heard, the sadness in her voice. "That's okay Julie. I'd still like to be friends, though. I still care about you. Okay?"

They stared silently at each other for a long time. Finally Julie said, "You want to come in? Just for a minute though, okay?"

"Sure."

She dropped the curtain, and Bobby went to the door, where the porch light came on over his head. He heard multiple locks and latches being released, and eventually the door came open to reveal Julie in jeans and a sweatshirt.

She closed the door behind him, and reversed the process to secure the door with all its hardware.

When she saw Bobby looking at all the locks, she shrugged. "I put more stuff on the door after my Dad's last visit. If nothing else it'll make sure I hear him, if he tries to break in while I'm asleep."

He followed her back to her room at the end of the trailer, where she sat on the bed, looking up at him. Neither of them seemed to know what to say.

Finally Julie said, "I'm sorry I can't be your girlfriend any more. I'm glad you still want to be friends, though."

Bobby smiled at her. "You can never have too many of those. I'm just starting to figure that out myself."

"Well, thanks," she said softly. She stared at her hands in her lap. "Bobby... I'm pretty fucked up. The only times I haven't felt fucked up lately, have been with you and Sammy. I'm really sorry for what I said on the phone. I understand about you guys... being together... that night at the cabin."

"Thanks," he replied.

There was another long silence. Then Bobby asked, "So have you finished your dress for the wedding?"

She smiled a little. "Yes, I finally did." She went to her closet and pulled it out, holding it in front of her. It was a beautiful dark shade of green on top, with a gradual transition to multiple shades of green on the bottom.

"That nice, Julie," he said sincerely. "You'll look beautiful in that."

"Thanks," she replied. "I'm really happy for your mom, and Sammy's dad. They're a great couple."

"Yeah, they are."

They sat in silence for a while. While neither felt uncomfortable with it, Bobby could tell that Julie was trying to work herself up to say something.

"What is it, Julie?" he asked gently.

"Bobby... part of my... being fucked up... is, you know, this," she said gesturing around herself, meaning the trailer and her mom.

"Yeah," he said sympathetically.

"But... there's something else."

"Okay," he said patiently.

She twisted her hands in her lap, trying to screw up her courage.

"I... I have a problem... a problem with coke," she finally said, her voice dying away to a whisper. "I use it... you know... just sometimes. When... things... when this place... gets to me."