Chapter 24: Jeff and Roberta

"What are we going to do?" asked Jeff.

"We should probably try to do at least one thing that doesn't involve sex, while we're here," said Roberta.

"That's not what I meant," said Jeff. "I mean what are we going to do two days from now?"

"Oh!" said Roberta. "About us, you mean."

"Yes, about us!" said Jeff. "I can't go back home and just pick up where I left off. I'd go insane."

"Tell me about Melanie," said Roberta.

"What?" Jeff's mouth dropped open. "I don't want to think about her right now!"

"Just tell me about her. Describe her like you were trying to get a friend of yours to take her out on a date."

"You don't have to wait two days to go nuts," sighed Jeff. "You already went there."

"Come on, Jeff. I have an idea. It's a crazy, insane idea, but ever since the group started all this outside-the-box thinking this idea keeps niggling at me."

"What idea?" asked Jeff.

"I don't want to tell you yet. Describe Melanie and then I'll tell you."

So Jeff did. He talked about how they met, and what she was like. Roberta wanted to know intimate details of what her body looked like, and what kinds of things she liked. She went on and on, asking him about the movies she liked, and didn't like, and what kinds of restaurants she liked, and the music she tuned into on the radio. Jeff was more and more mystified, but kept going. He tried to keep it positive, but eventually he described how spoiled she was, and how demanding she was, and how she overspent on the budget. He ended up, to his ultimate surprise, as classifying her as... shallow.

"Why she even married me is a mystery to me," said Jeff. "She knew I was going to be a teacher. You'd have thought she'd know teachers don't get paid squat. She should have married a millionaire. She'd make the perfect trophy wife."

Roberta stood there, a far away look in her eyes.

"It really is crazy," she said, "but it might actually work."

"What?!" said Jeff, his curiosity at a peak.

She looked at him. "Phillip is a go-getter. He wants to be a millionaire by the time he's thirty, and he's about three quarters of the way there... at least on paper. That's why he doesn't pay any attention to me. He's always working stocks, and glad-handing people, making deals, and going to big events, where people with money are. He used to take me with him. He said a wife can help motivate other people to trust him. But he stopped. Now his secretary goes with him. She's... blond... built... better looking than me. I think he's sleeping with her too."

"Eye candy," said Jeff, looking disgusted. "He's nuts. You're a fascinating woman, and I think you're beautiful."

"You're sweet," she said. "But I know I'm not beautiful in that way. I don't do well in big crowds either. I'm not... chatty. I don't flirt."

"So?" said Jeff. "I still don't get it. What does this have to do with Melanie?"

"You said her father's wealthy," said Roberta patiently. "And she's... eye candy."

Jeff's eyes opened wide as he suddenly got it. "You're kidding!" he gasped.

"No I'm not!" said Roberta. "What if we got them together? She'd be attracted to him. He's so charismatic he can get me to do anything he wants. I couldn't even think about leaving him, even when I got mad, because I couldn't imagine my life without him." She took Jeff's hand. "Until I met you." She squeezed his hand. "And, when he finds out her father has money, he'll be drawn to her too. He'll want to work a deal with her father. He has good ideas, and they work. He's just never had enough money to make a really big deal. He spends all his time working little deals."

"But he's going to be rich," said Jeff. "You said so yourself. All you have to do is wait a little longer and he'll have what he wants, and start paying attention to you again."

"No he won't," said Roberta. "He'll never have enough. Once he has a million, he'll think he needs five million. I know him, Jeff. He needs a trophy wife, not a woman like me."

"You'd give up a million dollars for me?" asked Jeff, his knees wobbly.

"I'm not giving up a million dollars," she said. "I'm getting a real husband, who loves me more than his money, and I'm getting a father for my babies." She leaned forward to kiss him. "That's priceless."

Jeff laughed. "We're talking wife-swapping, and I mean that in the most literal sense of the word. That's as outside the box as anything I ever heard in my life."

"So, you think this is worth talking about some more?" asked Roberta, hopefully.

"Your room or mine?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter," she said. "We'll end up in bed in either one."

"I like the way you think," said Jeff.

They went to his room. They did their talking in bed.