Chapter 1

Kayla thrashed around in her sleep, the nightmare overtaking her entire being. She was flailing, trying to resist someone. She kicked and struck out at the air as she incoherently mumbled words of fight and fright. The blaring of her alarm startled her awake, as she sat straight up in her bed, drenched in sweat. It took her a moment to get her bearings on herself, realizing that she was indeed in her bed, alone and safe, and not in that place in her nightmare-the nightmare which haunted her. She slammed her hand down on the alarm to silence it, and then put her head in her hands, giving herself a moment to compose herself before getting up to tackle the day.

The alarm read 5:30 a.m. Kayla had been waking at his hour for the past ten weeks for the Police Academy. She was almost half way through the 26 weeks of intensive, boot camp like training that was the Somerset County Academy, deemed to be the toughest in the state. It wasn't by choice that Kayla was at this academy, rather jurisdiction. Her body ached continuously since she'd begun. But, if she wanted to make it through the program, and be able to get on the streets and have a positive impact in the community, she had to struggle through the aches and pains.

Kayla rolled herself off her bed and shuffled into the shower, relishing in the feel of the hot water as it hit her shoulders. She placed her hands on the wall, leaning against it for support, and let the water run down her body. She reflected back on the nightmare and wondered why she was still having them after all this time. She'd been through therapist after therapist, and while she thought she had dealt with her feelings about her past as much as humanly possible, the nightmares still haunted her.

Shaking the cobwebs free, she turned off the shower and quickly got dressed so she would have time for a light breakfast before she left.

Dave was standing around bullshiting with some of the guys when she walked in. He'd had his eye on her since the first day of the Academy. Hell, all the guys probably did. In a cadet class of eighty-five, she was one of only five women, and by far, the best looking. She was on the smaller side, probably about 5'4", but she was solid looking, not one of these twig girls you could snap in half. She had also refused to cut her hair, so she lacked the androgynous look many female cadets had. The blonde, shoulder length curly mass hung down and framed her pixie face, as she had yet to throw it up in a ponytail. Kayla walked past Dave, briefly making eye contact, her blue eyes meeting his brown. He smiled, but she quickly looked down, her hair falling forward to cover her eyes.

His smile faded, and he furrowed his brow. He wondered why she looked away. She seemed confident in all their exercises, both physical and in the classroom. Was she just shy? Was she a lesbian? His thoughts were broken up as the Sergeants walked in and they their training for the day.

Every morning began with a five mile run. This was never a problem for Dave, as he played football in high school and was used to the grueling two a days that were inflicted upon players in the 100 degree heat. Many had passed out from heat exhaustion, and those at the academy were no exception. After the running came the pushups, pull ups, sit ups, and whatever other torture the instructors decided to throw at you that day. This was all inflicted before the 10 o'clock hour, when they switched you to an actual physical exercise or some sort. Yesterday had been rescue swimming. Today was to be self-defense grappling and throws.

The cadets were broken up into smaller groups of about twenty or so for the exercises, with two Sergeants assigned to each group. They would explain the practicum behind the exercises, demonstrate them, and then call upon cadets in pairs to execute them for the group. Three or four pairs had demonstrated their techniques when Sergeant Murphy called out the names "Mitchells" and "Donnelly". Kayla and Dave stepped forward. The Sergeant explained the throw and wanted Dave to be the attacker.

Great, Kayla thought, I'm never going to be able to throw this guy. Dave towered over her at about 6'1". While he wasn't overly muscular like some of the meathead gym rats at the academy, Dave was plenty solid. The Sergeant instructed them to begin and Dave grabbed her from behind. His right forearm came up to wrap around her throat, while his left arm wrapped around her body, crushing her arms and breasts underneath his clutches. Her fellow cadets cheered her on as she began to struggle, but she suddenly stopped.

She was transported back to the day in her nightmares, its feeling all too real and familiar. She saw the faces, felt the pain, and zoned out from the present. She paled, her eyes large and filled with fear. Kayla screamed and stilled again. After a few seconds, Sergeant Murphy instructed Dave to break the hold, but she never heard him. She was still in that place, that place she had tried so hard to forget. "Donnelly, Donnelly," the Sergeant called to her several times before she snapped back to the present, and realized what had just happened.

"Donnelly, what the hell was that?" The Sergeant demanded. Kayla filled with embarrassment, and turned away just as she began to cry, running from the gymnasium.

"Sir, may I?" Dave asked hiking his thumb back towards the doors Kayla had just burst through. The Sergeant just nodded, and Dave spun on his heel and jogged after her.

Dave began scouring the building for her, but had no luck. He checked the halls, classrooms, and cafeteria. He was about to give up his search when the door to the women's locker room caught his eye. He looked around the hall, didn't see anyone, and quietly made his way in.

He walked past the row of lockers towards the shower area, where he found her huddled on the floor. She was sobbing, and hadn't heard him come in. Dave slowly made his way towards her and called out to her when he was a few steps away. "Kayla?"

His voice startled her, and she looked up to see Dave slowly walking towards her, as if he was gingerly walking through a landmine, testing the ground. She pulled the front of her shirt over her face, in an attempt to soak up the tears. He squatted down in front of her, waiting for her to look up at him again.

When she didn't, he began to speak, "Kayla, I'm sorry. I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry," he said earnestly.

She sniffled and used her palms to wipe her eyes again before finally making eye contact with him. "It's okay Dave, it wasn't anything you did. It's just me. Maybe I'm not cut out for this."

"Well, I don't know what happened today, but you've been doing great. I wouldn't allow one setback to make you doubt yourself."

Setback she thought. He has no idea what a setback this was, and she was not about to start to tell him. "Dave, I just made a complete ass out of myself. I froze. As a cop, you can't do that."

"Yea you froze, but it happens. And, better it happens in here than out on the street, right? And, don't worry, you didn't make an ass out of yourself. Thompson farting during his sit-ups-that's making an ass out of yourself."

She couldn't help but giggle, remembering that say so many weeks ago.

"C'mon," he said extending his hands out to her to help pull her up from the floor. She took them, and he waited for her while she went and blew her nose and washed her face. They walked to the door of the locker room, and he held it open for her. She began to walk through it, and turned and stopped. Kayla looked up at him and said "Thank you."

Dave smiled, and looked down at her, pushing a stray strand of hair out of her face. "Anytime," he said brushing his knuckles along her left cheek.

Kayla suddenly felt a soft spot for this man, something she couldn't describe, something she had never felt before in the pit of her stomach. She smiled, and slowly turned away. He followed her back to the gym, enjoying the view.

Kayla was able to get back into the swing of things, and over the next several weeks, she and Dave were paired up during exercises several more times. She also started eating lunch with his little group, and the boys became her big brothers and protectors of sorts. If anyone tried to bust her balls or give her any shit, other than the Sergeants of course, they busted them down to size.