Chapter 6

It is every man's worst nightmare.

No man deserves this, I thought, standing there with my dick literally hanging out at half-mast. Sure, women always reserve the right to say no - no argument on that front - but there must be some sort of a guideline that says you should not say no once the man is undressed and reaching for protection. Even if that man is your father. Especially if that man is your father, I thought bitterly, because it is a big enough step just deciding to have an affair with your own daughter. For just a moment there, I even contemplated ignoring her wishes at this point - I could always say, "Father knows best," couldn't I?

I have no idea even now what were the emotions that I must have expressed on my face at that moment, although Nikki has always claimed that I looked like a thrashed puppy. Looking at the mirror was hardly my main concern at that moment, wouldn't you say so? There was equal parts irritation, frustration, anger and just the smallest hint of relief that we had not yet crossed that final line. The Supreme Court may say so, but oral sex is not really sex, right?

"I guess Mom did not tell you about this part, eh?" she said as she reached for the condom I still held in my hand and flicked it away. "She must have been the one to tell you about the flowers and the champagne and the way I wanted to be undressed by you for the first time, but she must have skipped the part about me wanting to feel you at your rawest inside me."

"Oh. So that's what you meant. Oh."

"What? Why're you looking at me like that? What did YOU think I was talking about?" And then her smile grew wider as she hit upon the truth. She was shaking her head and grinning at the same time as she said, "You thought I didn't want you anymore, didn't ya? Oh my God... Dad, get real, would you? There is no way on earth I would ever say no to you..."

"Yeah, I know," I said, trying to shrug and probably making it look as if I had a nervous tic I could not get rid of. "I mean, I didn't think you were saying no. Not that you can't or anything, you know, anytime you want to stop you just have to tell me..."

"Dad," she said, reaching for me, pulling me down on top of her. Our faces were just inches from each other when she said, "Dad. I. Have. No. Regrets. About. Us." She kissed me on my nose. "Unless you stop right now, in which case I might probably have to rape you."

"Funny," I said, trying to be funny. You know how I am. Should have kept my mouth shut. "I was thinking the same thing about you."

She raised one of her eyebrows. How did she manage to get it that high, I wondered, and those eyes... "You said I could say no anytime I wanted," she pointed out.

Thankfully, I was saved from making an even bigger fool of myself in front of her when she gave me another wet kiss on my lips. Rolling over on the bed, we ended up with her squatting on top of me, her knees on either side of my chest, our faces molten together. Her hair fell all around us in a gloriously erotic manner, as if shielding us from the rest of the world. Her beautiful face filled my vision. I doubt either of us would have cared even if a nuke had gone off next door. I do not think either of us even remembered that we had a neighbor next door itself.

When she withdrew her face, leaving both of us gulping in a big lungful of air, and straightened her spine, the tip of my cock - now at full mast, to use a cliché I had picked up earlier - brushed against her ass. It might not have been the first time that it had happened, although it was certainly the first time that I was aware it did. As good as it felt against her bare skin, as fantastic as I knew it would be to sink it in her and let go, it would not be a sensible choice. For a second, for just the smallest period of time, reason reasserted itself.

"Honey, maybe we should use some sort of protection," I suggested, albeit half-heartedly. There was something distinctly unattractive about the prospect of getting up and trying to get a rubber on me again. Well, not exactly 'again', but I suppose you get the picture.

"No," she stated in between kissing her way down my chest.

I tried to keep my composure despite the sensations she was arousing around my tummy. "You could get pregnant. Maybe I have AIDS."

She raised her head for just enough time for her to remark, "This isn't exactly the time for a rational discussion, Pop." She tickled my ribs, stopping at the end of the scar on my right side. She trailed a finger along its length, her expression suddenly serious, and a single tear made her way out of her eye and fell on me. It was so silent I could have probably heard it fall if I had paid it any attention. I was riveted by the look on my daughter. I knew she was thinking about that day when I had gotten myself shot. If I had to do it all over a hundred times again, and I know that sounds corny, I would do the same thing every single time.

And then she tweaked my nipple so hard I nearly threw her off.

I reciprocated on both her nipples, and she did scream "Daddy" so loud I was half-expecting the glass to shatter. I grinned like a sadist as I whipped her back on the back and rose above her, pinning her arms with mine. She raised her legs and wrapped them around my waist, leaving just enough room for my cock to slap against her pussy lips as it vibrated rigidly. I looked into her eyes for askance just before I slid slowly into her, and she nodded her permission and closed her eyes.

I have not yet come across a single word that can describe how it felt, that first sensation of actually being inside her, of becoming so intimate we were not two bodies anymore but one. A tongue feels its environment quite differently from a dick. Where I had tasted her earlier, I only felt her warmth now. Where I had found her slightly salty, slightly musky, I now found her wet and welcoming. I wanted to savor our first penetration for as long as possible - there was no denying that THIS was sex after all - and pressed against her hymen for a couple of seconds before it sunk into me that I was, undeniably, her first lover.

I had never expected to be. Even as I had accepted that her love for me had been there for some time, I had just assumed that somewhere along the line, she might have actually lost her virginity to a boyfriend. Jimmy, for instance. If being your daughter's lover sobers you, imagine that you are going to be her first lover as well. I was shaken to the core of my cynicism. Had she really been saving herself for me?

As if sensing my thoughts, Nikki opened her eyes. Yes, they seemed to say, and I hope I will not be one any longer.

The father in me stopped the lover in me from breaking into her. God, I ought to kill that guy - stopping me at the threshold of every pleasurable moment that we could share just because he was still so protective of his daughter. Since I could not do that short of committing suicide, I obliged him once again. For the last time, I told myself. After that, even a SWAT team would not stop me from doing what was so damn close and yet so damn far.

You must have probably noticed that I am talking about myself in the third person here. In my defense, try having a conversation with your inner self when you are having sex. You will know what I am talking about.

Anyway, let it suffice to say that I did pause. And I did tell her, "It's gonna hurt, baby."

She contorted her face into her first real expression of frustration. "Of course it's going to hurt," she retorted, placing her hands by her sides, palms facing down on the bed. "I am not a kid anymore." As if emphasizing her point, she pushed herself upwards, thrusting me all the way into her depths. She bit into her lips so tightly in order to suppress the scream that the skin broke and a tiny drop of blood fell on her chin. The very next moment, exhausted, she relaxed. I almost slid out of her as she fell back on the bed. Her legs, though, were still around my waist.

I started to fuck her leisurely, even though I was once again fighting the urge to cum inside her as soon as possible. We started to kiss each other wherever we could, as if in a race against time, and those kisses soon turned into nibbles and bites as the tension started to become unbearable within each of us.

To this day, I have no idea how I was able to hold it all in as long as I did. At the same time, I would like to say I delayed my release until she started to have her orgasm, but that would be a lie. I came first - I take no pride in that fact, but there it is - and it was perhaps the sensation of my jism hitting the walls of her pussy that finally pushed Nikki over the edge. I can take all night to list all the clichés I can use to appropriately address how I felt at that moment; suffice to say that it was something better than taking a piss after spending a day and a half inside a freezer.

I collapsed on top of her and rolled on to my back. She laid her head on my hand and we snuggled together for a long time just basking in that special afterglow that always follows a heartfelt session of sex. We let our bodies cool in the breeze that always seemed to flow through this room. After a while, she swung her right leg over me, once again letting my recuperating erection touch the hint of pubic hair that guarded her pussy. She was still moist with the evidence of our coupling, and I could not help but wonder if I had gotten her pregnant the first time itself. Sensibly, though, I kept my mouth shut.

"Dad," she spoke a few minutes later, her voice sounding dreamily intimate. "Is it always this good?"

I stroked the small of her back as I replied, "No. Sometimes, it's even better. Sometimes, it may not be this good."

"But it will always be good enough for you, right?" There was so much doubt in her voice it just melted my heart.

Tilting her chin up and towards me, I told her that it would always be too good for me. "And you will always be too good for me."

"Flatterer," she said, digging an elbow playfully into my ribs. "Honestly, Daddy, it was just about as good as my fantasy."

"Just as good?" I asked her, feigning incredulity. "It was far better than mine."

"You were stopping every once in a while. It was so goddamned frustrating to have to lead you along, you know... what do you mean, your fantasies? Have you been having fantasies about your little girl, Daddeeee?"

"Of course," I admitted. "In my fantasies, you usually have a nice young man on your arm who you introduce to me as your husband.'We got married yesterday, ' you tell me, 'because the baby is due any day now.'"

"That doesn't sound right. How can I have a baby if I got married just the day before - oh, never mind. I get it." She giggled, and ribbed me again. "So is that the only fantasy you've had about me?"

"That's the best one," I replied. "The really bad ones I'll tell you later."

"Come on," she said, affecting the pout that she knew I always gave in to. "You know mine."

"No, I don't," I pointed out. "Your mother knows. She was the one who read your diary, not me."

"I'll give it to you, then. Later. It's in my room somewhere."

"Your room's just down the corridor," I joked. As I said, I can crack a weak joke anywhere. "Not somewhere."

"Oh, you doofus!" She bit me on the nose. I yelped. She laughed. "Next time you make a joke like that, I'll bite you down there." And just to make her point, she gave my erection a squeeze. "So tell me, Daddy. What are your fantasies?"

I told her every single one.

Oh, you want to know too? Fuck off. I have told you everything else, and still you are not satisfied? Typical. Use your own imagination.

She was suitably impressed at my imagination, in any case, and would occasionally 'ooh' or 'aah' at a particularly intriguing suggestion. It pleased me quite greatly that not for one moment, not even for my most risqué fantasy, did she say anything in the negative.

"So how long have you been having these fantasies?" she asked me when I had finished. We were now on our sides, facing each other, and she still had her leg over my waist. It was getting increasingly difficult to ignore the rejuvenated prick - I am talking about my dick here - especially with the way she was rubbing her leg against mine.

I asked her what the time now was. With a quick glance at the clock, she answered that it was a quarter past nine now. "I'll have to reheat the lasagna again," she said, though she did not seem overly concerned about it. I shrugged - it had been a while since I had last shrugged - about the dinner as I did the math. "Five hours," I told her.

"What five hours?"

"It's been five hours since I started having these fantasies about you," I explained. "Actually, more like six. I was mildly interested in the idea on the way back from Dr. Chivago, but it was only when you kissed me that I let my imagination run wild."

"That's it?" she questioned me with the air of one who has been wronged. "So what you are saying is that I could be just a suggestion planted in your head by that shrink you saw?"

The idea was so ridiculous I would have laughed if it had not been for her expression. "I've had thoughts about you before that too," I said, trying to placate her. "I was rather hoping it would turn out that you weren't my daughter at all, and then I could fall in love without worrying about anything else. Oh, and you fall in love with me too. Of course, I've also fantasized about the two of us on your bed - no basis, no motivation, just plain sex, hot and sweaty."

I let that sink in before I continued, "The idea of somebody else causing me to think of you sexually is ridiculous because I've always found you more attractive - in that sense - than I thought it proper for a father, and so I never really accepted that I could feel that way. I would have these fantasies and then pretend, even to myself, that such thoughts never occurred to me. Sure, I started to feel more strongly about the two of us as a couple on my way back from the doc, but that was just because he had given enough indications for me to hope that you were not entirely freaked out by the idea."

"You didn't know that for certain," she said. "Yet."

I agreed with her. "Yet. When I caught you naked, I was more afraid of the possibility of me starting to have even more fantasies about you than anything else. I still had no real idea what was in your head. That," and I paused, searching for the right word, "enlightenment came when we kissed. I knew, at that moment, that you loved me in the same manner I was afraid of hoping for."

Somewhere in the room, my phone beeped as it received a text message.

When the silence seemed too long for either of us to have said nothing, I blew air into her ear. Why did I do that? I have no idea. I do thoughtless things sometimes.

She jerked her head away reflexively, and then whipped it around to give me a dazzling smile. "Just wait. I'll have my revenge. Only it won't be your ear I'll be blowing." My cock twitched at her words.