Chapter 26

I was very surprised that Belle knew so little about sex. Sure, she was completely uninhibited and open to anything I wanted to try, but her experience was limited to missionary sex with her husband, a very unsatisfying one time fling with George Howard, and some fumbling experimentation with her best girlfriend back in Mobile. Belle was the quintessential Victorian woman. She was very intelligent, well read and had impeccable finishing school manners. Unfortunately, like Molly and Liz, she didn’t know diddly about sex or her own body. I figured it was only right that I was educating these poor unfortunate women on what they were missing. I guess I’m just noble that way.

I’m not saying sex with Belle wasn’t good, because it was actually fantastic. It might have lacked technical skill, but there sure was a heap of emotions driving us. I think I finally figured out how deep those emotions were, when I let Belle be on top. She sat astride me with her hands on my chest, her china blue eyes boring into mine.

“I love you, Tyler McGuinn,” she whispered.

I almost bit my tongue off to keep from asking her to be wifey number five when she said that. I didn’t doubt she meant what she said even a little bit, because she was looking at me the way Rosalinda looked at Pedro Diaz. I managed to choke down the proposal that was on the tip of my tongue and asked her a question instead.

“I have feelings for you too, Belle, but isn’t this kind of sudden? We’ve only known each other a couple of weeks. Falling in love is easy. It’s staying in love that takes work. Do you think we are ready for that?”

Belle stopped her gentle movement above me and gave me a smile.

“I’m more than ready, Ty. I think everything that has happened in my life was all to prepare me for you. I knew within ten seconds of meeting you that we were meant to be together. Our relationship will be unconventional, but I’m going to make sure you are the happiest, best cared for man in Texas.”

She looked like an angel perched on me like that and the things she said made good sense to me. I knew what she was suggesting was for me to put my personal life in her hands. That was a big step for me, but considering how I’d managed to screw up when left to make my own relationship choices, it was not a foolish decision. I mean, how bad could it be when my honey was out recruiting other women to share with me?

We spent another hour making lazy love and talking. I shared my dream of owning a ranch with Belle and having a house full of children. She smiled and said it sounded like a great plan to her, but in the meantime, we still needed a place of our own out of sight from prying eyes. I mentioned the manager’s apartment at the El Paso hotel that would be part of my pay for running the gentlemen’s club. I told her we could check it out the next day.

Belle and I cleaned up and walked downstairs at a quarter of six that evening. The smells coming from the kitchen were heavenly and drew me like a magnet. When we arrived at the kitchen, Molly was just pulling a roast out of her wood fired oven, and Anna Lopez was carefully slicing a loaf of home made bread. Both women took a minute to kiss me on the cheek before they evicted me from the kitchen. Belle stayed to help, and I wandered into the parlor to visit with Clem and Joaquin.

Dinner tasted even better than it smelled and the conversation around the table was pretty damned good too. After the meal, the women shooed us men out of the dining room, so we went out and sat on the porch. Clem produced half a dozen big fat Cuban stogies and Joaquin had a bottle of Mexican brandy. With the two railroad conductors goading us, we fired up the cigars, sipped the brandy and did the male bonding thing. Clem and Joaquin were two of the good guys. They were both honest and hardworking. They were both also smart enough to know what lucky dogs they were, because Anna and Molly were about as fine a pair of women as they’d ever meet.

Anna came out to get us when the women finished in the kitchen, so we trouped after her into the parlor. When we walked into the formal room, Belle was sitting at Molly’s small piano, as the two women flipped through the pages of a dog-eared Columbian Harmony shape note hymnal.

“Oh, I love this one, Belle! Can you play it?”

Belle nodded, set the hymnal on the piano’s music stand and played the hymn’s intro. Hey! I knew that song, in my future time, Judy Collins had a big hit with it. The song was ‘Amazing Grace’ and Belle could play and sing the hell out of it. I made myself a mental note to make sure we had a piano at the El Paso Gentlemen’s Club for Belle. Belle had talent and I had a feeling, that with a little showmanship coaching from yours truly, she was going to be a major attraction.

I wasn’t the only one who enjoyed her playing and singing, as everyone applauded and complimented her when she finished. I know it sounds old fashioned and boring, but I enjoyed the hell out of standing around the piano as Belle played and we all sang along. We sang hymns of course, but Molly also had a couple of paperback, magazine size books of popular songs. I know it sounds corny, but we all had a good time as we harmonized our way through some favorites.

Belle and I excused ourselves at eight forty-five and hustled over to the Toro. We’d cleared it with Pen to come in at nine. I saw what I thought was a potential problem with Belle working at the Toro, especially after my speech to the dancers about not dating any of them because we worked together. I mentioned that to Belle, and she said she would only sing that night and talk to the other women to see if her being there would create a problem.

Belle did join our little show that night as she sang a couple of traditional songs and the three that I’d written for her. I had fixed up our act during our slack days this week, and had a nice solid hour of songs that were original to the Toro. I divided the act so that we all took turns singing, so that the women from other saloons had a chance to hear Belle, the Hombres and me, even if they only stayed for twenty minutes. The influx of women had worked itself out so that one crowd came in at ten and the other at ten-thirty. By now, the male population was aware that the Toro Cantina was the place to be between ten and eleven.

I had a surprise in store for everyone that night. I had been working in secret on an act that was so over the top, it was easily the most outrageous thing my big ham ass had ever done. Before I tell you about that, I have to fill you in on what inspired me. In my old life, I made at least one trip to Las Vegas every year between 1969 and 1977 to see Elvis Presley perform at the International Hotel. Yeah, I was a huge fan of the King of Rock and Roll, and my status as a minor celebrity when the rodeo was in town was my ticket to the show. I met Crazy Cora Leigh at one of those shows. She was an even bigger fan than I was.

So, my idea was a campy take off on Elvis, with a nod towards Walt Disney’s “Zorro” franchise. When old Tyler steals from the future, he thinks big. On Thursday night I opened the show by singing ‘Ring of Fire’, then hustled to my office to change into my costume. Man oh man, did I ever have a costume, thanks to my new friend Naomi Singleton and the haberdasher down in El Paso Del Norte.

First on was a new pair of tight black trousers with gold lightning bolts piped up the legs, second was a loose, black silk shirt and then a black silk mask just like Zorro’s. Around my neck I threw on a black opera cape with a gold colored silk lining. On top of my head, the coup de grace, was a black sombrero the size of a Conestoga wagon wheel, with gold lightning bolts to match my trousers. Before I put on the sombrero, I slicked my hair back with a glob of Doctor Denning’s Sassafras and Beeswax Pomade. In that get up, I made The Cisco Kid’s fancy outfits look drab.

When I was ready, I tapped on the door and told Pen to announce me. I had written a little self-effacing introduction for him to read. When the Hombres finished the song they were playing, they played a couple of flourishes and Pen, in his perfect diction introduced me.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the Cantina El Toro is proud to announce that we have managed to secure for a one night engagement, a man famous throughout Europe and the Americas. He has sung in every major opera house in the world before Kings, Queens and presidents. All the women want him, all the men want to be him! He is the mucho, macho caballero, the bandito de los besos de amor — yes, the kissing bandit of love — he is Romeo Romero.”

Not too shabby, eh? I came out of my office after he rolled my stage name off his lips. I was preceded by two of the dancers who were carrying baskets of roses. I made my way to the stage amid hoots, stomping and clapping from the women. I lifted my upper lip in a sexy sneer as Conchita and Muriel took off my cape. When the cape was ceremoniously folded, I picked up my guitar and put my fancy new black and gold strap over my shoulder.

I raised my arm and wind milled a chord on my guitar, gyrated my hips, curled my upper lip and started singing.

A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain’t satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and satisfy me

The Hombres looked at me as if I was insane, because this wasn’t the way we rehearsed the number, but they did a yeoman’s job keeping up. As soon as the women stopped screaming at the end of ‘A Little Less Conversation’, I said “Thank you, ah, thank you very much,” then launched into another Elvis classic.