Chapter 8

"Hey Benni, you gotta' move a little. Show me that you're still alive inside that thick skull of yours."

Benni's head shook every so slightly with the uncontrolled twitching of overly stressed neck muscles that don't stop. Dember reached over and lightly massaged the neck muscles, urging the tensed muscles to release their burden. Slowly, Benni's neck responded to the touch as his muscles let go. Benni opened his eyes.

"How are you doing, Benni?"

Benni whispered, "I feel so hollow."

"What happened today? Sit up and tell me."

Benni responded to the command to sit up, but found that no words came to mind. Instead, he rolled his neck a few times, trying to work the kinks out of the top of his spine. Three, four, five times he tried to speak and failed. Finally he managed to utter, "I was late for work this morning."

Dember looked confused. "Did you get fired?"

"Never made it in. Bad shit."

"Come on, Benni. Don't make me pry it out of you."

Benni took off his shirt and let Dember stare at the Skin Melt on his chest. Dember ran his finger gently over the healing wound from one end to the other.

"That must be quite a story," Dember said.

"This was only the beginning of the story, Dember. Would you run and fetch a bucket? I think I'm going to vomit."

Dember returned in an instant. On his knees, Benni retched, spitting out the thin contents of his stomach into the pail, experiencing again the metallic taste.

Dember glanced at the contents. "What did you eat that was purple?

"Antidote."

"Antidote?"

Benni said, "Yeah, that's near the end of my day. They sucked everything out of me and I feel empty inside."

"You mentioned that before," Dember said. "Take me through your day."

Benni began a recitation of his day starting with his protein paste breakfast. Caught up in the memories, his arms carved the air and his body twisted as he relived the attack and counterattack. Dember kept silent until Benni literally jumped through the encounter with the Enforcers.

"You killed two Enforcers with a Muscle Knit and a Skin Melt still cooling? Holy Fuck!"

Benni described his second flight and how he arrived at the enclave of Family Daoud. Suddenly he couldn't continue and he broke down crying, nearly howling with shame. His cries must have carried because Nagala, their patriarch, stepped through the curtain and kneeled next to Dember, facing Benni.

"Tell me what happened next, Benni. I'm your heart-friend, Benni; you can tell your heart-friend."

With a deep breath, Benni continued with his tale. He spoke to the ground, unable to look either of the men in the eye. If he had, he would have seen the two men blanch at his recitation.

Benni concluded his story. "I betrayed everyone and everything that I know." He tilted his head upward and leaned back until he banged his head against the unyielding wall. Even though his skull rang, Benni made no comment about the pain. He left his neck completely exposed mildly hoping someone would cut his windpipe and end his misery.

Dember grabbed him in a bear hug, careful not to squeeze too hard. He held Benni with his hand protecting the back of his head as Benni broke into a series of chest raking sobs.

Benni was forced to stop by the protesting pain of still healing muscles, leaving him open mouthed and gasping in pain.

"It's alright," Dember said trying to soothe him.

"I can't look anyone in the face," Benni said. "I can't go back to my job. I can't walk anywhere without expecting that an assassin is going to shove a knife in my kidneys."

"I disagree," Nagala finally broke his silence. "Qiang spoke the truth when he declared a fair trade. He will not reveal his sources and you shall not reveal yourself as a source. You live to fight another day, and having used you for a source, they can conduct their trade for another day."

Benni acted like he didn't want to hear the man's reasoning, half-heatedly trying to cover his ears. Dember continued to hold his friend as his Benni's body shook and sweated.

Nagala asked, "Are you upset because they poisoned you?"

"No."

"Are you upset because they tricked you and forced you?"

"Maybe," Benni said.

Nagala nodded at the mild confession. "Are you upset because you had to tell them everything that you know?"

"They violated me!"

"No, Benni, they didn't violate you. They outmaneuvered and defeated you before you ever had a chance to raise a defense."

Benni leaned back, breaking Dember's embrace. The look of confusion on his face was a dramatic change from the pained look of a moment ago. Dember joined his friend shoulder to shoulder leaning against the wall.

Nagala continued, "I suppose a bit of the blame lies with Doyan and me. We have honed your fighting skills, especially with the knife, but we stopped there. We thought you too young to understand the more subtle ways of conflict in the Temperdis. We haven't taught you the difference between adversaries and enemies. Like Khan down the corridor, Daoud is not our enemy and, sometimes, they are our allies. They do not wish to kill any of us or destroy our family; however, we are sometimes at cross purposes which makes them adversaries."

Benni took a deep breath and said, "They are powerful. They knew of me and they named my master. I've never named him to you, to Dember, to anyone. My master won't believe me. Daoud even sent a runner to inform him of my whereabouts in their enclave. My master may have already hired an assassin to rid himself of his compromised apprentice."

"For a smart guy, you aren't thinking so clearly," Dember said. "Qiang named your master before you ever mentioned his name. If Qiang knows his name, then your master knows that Qiang has penetrated his secret."

Nagala nodded in agreement, "Did you ever wonder why your master does not run his business from his family enclave?"

Benni's face morphed into a blank look as Nagala answered his own question, "He has too many outside contacts, too many runners, too many contracts, and too much exposure for a family to allow such a business within their home. When you finish your apprenticeship, you will not run your business out of this enclave either. Too dangerous. Too many people know his name and, now, your name."

"So, I've been acting like a pathetic, ignorant little child?" Benni said.

"No," Nagala said. "You have suffered your first serious defeat, a most unpleasant experience. But you are alive and for that Volentin is satisfied; Daoud has their information and they are satisfied. Welcome to the greater world of the Temperdis, Benni. You should feel small for you are facing the truth of your place within a much larger world. Now you are ready to learn how to face the true Temperdis. Tomorrow you will report to me after your evening meal for lessons unless your master demands you make up for the hours you have missed."

Nagala stood to stretch his legs. The curtain in the doorway fluttered as Shasa stepped through the doorway. "I heard that you..."

"Traitor!" Benni snarled as he leapt to his feet while drawing his knife. His world went suddenly askew as he crashed to the ground with his throwing arm pinned underneath his side. The crushing weight of his heart-friend yanked at the Skin Melt and Benni's snarl turned into a whimper of pain.

"You don't understand, Dember. She is a danger to you. There's no choice!" Benni tried to explain in the haze of adrenaline and pain.

Nagala knelt down in front of the pinioned young man and looked into his eyes. Reaching into his pocket, Nagala pulled out a stimstick and with a practiced ease tore the end of it off with two fingers on the same hand. With his free hand, the patriarch reached under Benni's chin, pinched his windpipe and held his jaw shut while he brought the stimstick to Benni's nose with the other. Nagala released his pinch and Benni snorted air into his oxygen-starved lungs. The contents of the stimstick went up his nose.

A calm flooded Benni's perceptions. The pain eased, even before Dember clambered off of his prone body. All of his limbs relaxed, splaying out in whatever directions they wanted to go. The world took on a warm yellow glow of peace and contentment. All of his worries went far, far away.