My wife, Angela, is a twin, not just any twin, an identical twin, her sister, Rachael. Also, not just any identical twin, but an ‘identical’, identical twin. The two of them are interchangeable, ninety-nine-point-nine percent. Angela introduced me to her when we were still dating, two years ago.

Like any man would, I did a double-take, all agog, not only are the two of them beautiful red-heads, but you cannot tell them apart. At least, at the time I couldn’t. I can now, Angela has a small birthmark below her right breast, and Rachael has a tattoo on her right hip, a naked girl, believe it or not, the same figure as on so many strip club neon signs. It’s only about six-inches, but still, it’s surprising to see such a tattoo on a young, beautiful woman. At least, it was until I got to know her.

Maybe I should explain one more thing, Angela is a year older than Rachael, a decade actually. Angela was born at eleven-fifty-seven PM on December 31, 1999, Rachael at twelve-fourteen AM on January 1, 2000. So, those seventeen minutes put them a decade apart. What are the odds?

Okay, back to the double-take, when I first met Rachael, I thought Angela was standing in front of a mirror, they were even dressed the same. Both the birthmark and tattoo were covered with clothes, and there are no other distinguishing features between the two. Well, now there is one other, Rachael’s beautiful, red hair is about eight inches down her back, and my wife’s just grazing her shoulders.

They’re both five-nine-and-a-half, Angela is a hundred-twenty-two pounds, Rachael two pounds heavier, the ‘fat’ twin, as Angela so succinctly puts it. I’ve seen both in swimsuits, you cannot tell which is thin and which is ‘fat’. At least, though, when either is wearing her bikini, either the birthmark or the tattoo are visible so you can tell which is which. Like I said, dressed, they are indistinguishable, even to a trained, i.e. spouse or parent’s eye. Except for the hair, that is. The two even sound exactly alike. If you close your eyes, you cannot, under any circumstances, tell which is talking, not even ‘trained’ ears.

The girls do have separate and distinct personalities. Rachael is naturally outgoing and ... I won’t say ‘slutty’, but she doesn’t mind showing off her feminine charms, of which she is rightfully proud. She also apparently uses her toilet paper roll as a guide as to when to change boyfriends. Since Angela and I married, I have no idea how many boyfriends Rachael has had, but it’s a significant number. I wouldn’t say that she has slept with every boyfriend, but only because we suspect there may have been one or two that she didn’t keep long enough, although ‘long enough’ seems to be one night. I don’t know, maybe she had diarrhea or something and went through the toilet paper roll too quickly.

The long and short of it is that Rachael no doubt doesn’t have enough fingers and toes to count her lovers. Angela, on the other hand, had one boyfriend before me that she actually slept with, albeit they dated for two full school years in college. She never explained much about their relationship, even why they split after so long. I’ve come to just thank my lucky stars that they did.