Chapter 29

I was dying to ask a thousand questions of my Mother, Father, and anyone else that could explain what was happening, but Elizabeth's well being came first. I handed the babies off to Cindi and Jessica again, much to their delight, and sat on the couch next to the prostrate Elizabeth, pulling her head on my lap. I held her, whispering to her and stroking her hair until her eyes opened again.

She smiled happily as she lay there, her head in my lap, living her dream of being a loving wife in her husband's arms. Then, she remembered how she got there and panicked.

"Patrick! I ... I can't be a mother ... not now! I have to leave. I'm supposed to be dead. If I stay here to raise these two, they'll know and they'll kill my friend. I can't stay," she whispered. Her face turned white and she hid her head in my lap as she realized what she was saying.

"I'm doing it again. I swore it would be different if I ever had another chance, and here I am doing the same thing again," she muttered to herself, her voice breaking into sobs.

"Doing what again, dear?" I asked gently.

"Deserting my babies again. I did it to Amy and Cindi, left them without a mother, and now I'm talking about doing it to these two also. Is there ... no way to break this cycle?"

"We all do what we have to do, Elizabeth," I counseled. My platitudes sounded hollow even to me.

"I ... could stay here. Maybe they wouldn't kill my friend. Maybe being with my babies is more important. Maybe I should just let whatever happens, happen."

Blue fire flashed in Cindi's eyes.

"You do that and I'll never talk to you again, Mom," she declared. We all looked at her in surprise.

"Cindi?" Elizabeth whispered.

"Mom, your friend's life depends on you. He or she has no one else. If you change your behavior, they will die. These little girls will not die if you're not around. There are plenty of us to mother them. They'll be spoiled rotten in a week. We'll make sure they never forget you and know you're their mother. You can visit when you can. It'll work out. You'll never forgive yourself if you let your friend die."

Elizabeth looked at me, and I nodded. We all knew what was carefully not spoken aloud; Elizabeth's friend was a man, and was the love of her life. No one knew who it was; it was likely to be someone none of us had ever met. The Cornazan race was a tight knit community; if no one knew who this man was (and we were just assuming it was a man!), then they were a complete unknown. Since Elizabeth had no colors, it wasn't as important that she have relationships inside the race. It didn't matter; he was important to Elizabeth, and that was all that mattered.

"She's right, Mom. It's the right thing to do. It's not like last time. You know what you're doing this time," Amy added.

"Thanks ... I think," Elizabeth smiled weakly.

'You know what the solution to this is, don't you? We can solve several problems at once, ' Elizabeth said in my mind. I smiled, as I knew exactly what she was thinking. I had been thinking the same thing. Then I jumped in shock, almost knocking her off the couch. I stared at her closely, seeing what I would have seen before if I hadn't been so distracted.

"Elizabeth?" I said, my voice shaking. "Do you know what you just did?"

"Of course. I..." she turned even whiter and her eyes grew large as she realized what I had noticed.

"You talked in my mind. You can't do that! You've never been able to do that! And ... you have colors! There is a gray glow about you," I almost yelled.

"I gave up my colors for Megan. I don't want them! How can I have colors?" she stammered.

"Mom?" I asked.

"In a minute, Son. You and Elizabeth were about to do something very important. Finish it."

'I agree, ' I answered Elizabeth's original question in her mind.

I stood up and reclaimed the babies from Cindi and Jessica. I was afraid they would fight me for them, but they reluctantly gave them up. I held one in each arm and stopped in front of Lori.

Lori looked at me with huge, scared eyes filled with tears.

"Lori, do you have any children?" I asked gently.

She shook her head, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Why not? Didn't you want to have my baby?" I asked.

She nodded, still crying.

"Then why not?" I asked again.

"I ... I..." she sobbed as she couldn't continue.

"Lori can never have a baby," Lisa explained.

"Why not?" I asked again. I knew the answer, but someone special needed to hear this.

"She refused to go through the activation of reproduction cycle ceremony when she was fifteen years old," Lisa explained. Lori looked at the floor.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because ... I loved you, only you, and I refused to have sex with others. I wanted to be faithful to you," she said, crying softly.

"Oh, Lori!" Amy whispered softly. "I'm so sorry!"

"Do you ever regret that, honey," I asked, pulling the little girl to me. She hugged me fiercely.

"Never ... and every day," she whispered.

"What do you mean?" Amy asked. Good, it was working.

"I never regretted it, because I have remained faithful to Patrick every day of my life. I know it doesn't mean much to others, but it means the world to me. I have something that very few others have," she explained. She smiled at Amy and Megan, knowing they understood perfectly.

Then she whimpered pitifully.

"Oh God, I want to have his baby so bad. It's a pain that never goes away. I would give anything to be able to ... anything except what I didn't give originally. I would do it all again. I don't regret it ... I just regret the consequences."

She turned to Amy.

"Make sure you know what you want. I can't tell you what to do. But having his baby ... it is a wonderful thing. Make sure you can give that up before you take that step. It took me a lot of years to be completely happy with that decision ... a lot of sad years. It was right for me, but it was a very hard decision. It can never be undone. If you go through the ceremony, you can always be faithful to Patrick forever after that. He will understand. But if you choose not to go through the ceremony ... that can never be undone. I ... wish..."

Lori flew into Amy's arms and they hugged. Megan joined them. The others watched as the only three monogamous members of our race shared a closeness no one else could know. It was an exclusive, members-only club.

When they separated, I addressed Lori again.

"Lori, Elizabeth and I have a big problem. She can't stay here and raise these babies as their mother; if she does, a special friend dies. These babies need someone to be their mother in her absence. Can you think of someone that would want to do that?"

"Umm ... Cindi would. Or Amy. Heck, any of the girls would," she stammered.

"They would indeed. But they all have other things going on in their lives. Besides, they will be having babies of their own someday. I'm looking for someone who will love these babies as her own, and not forget about them when they have their own; someone they will be very special to, who will be their whole world. They need stability. Can you think of anyone?"

Lori looked at me with huge, excited, scared eyes.

"You mean ... like ... me?" she asked, her voice trembling.

I beamed a smile at her. "What a wonderful idea! Why didn't I think of that? Elizabeth, what do you think?"

Elizabeth nodded, smiling at my drama.

"But ... me? There are so many others that would be better, and I'm just a little girl, and I've never had a baby before, and I don't know how to take care of one, much less two, and everyone knows I'm crazy and suicidal and explosive, and besides, I'm just a little girl, and..." she tapered off into silence.

"You're not a little girl, Lori," I said softly. "All those other things would just make you a better mother. Besides, do you really think Amy isn't crazy?" I asked lightly.

"Hey!" Amy yelled, then stuck her tongue out at me.

"Please, Lori? These girls need a mommy, and I just can't think of anyone but you. Would you do it? For me? Please?" I asked.

"They're Patrick's babies. You've always wanted to have his baby," Lisa urged.

That turned out to be the deciding argument. Little Lori's face lit up in a smile the likes of which we had never seen on her face before. She giggled happily as she reached out and took the little girls in her arms. It was almost more than she could handle, but she managed, beaming all the while.

"Please understand, Lori ... they're still Elizabeth's babies. She will be their mother again when her problem is straightened out," I cautioned her.

"I know. But I can still help her with them then, right?" she asked hopefully.

"Of course. You will be ... like ... their nanny."

"Na-Na!" the babies gurgled as they snuggled against Lori, almost smothering her.

I saw the sad look on Cindi's face.

"She's a little girl, Cindi. She's going to need help. She can't handle them both by herself," I said quietly.

Cindi's face lit up as she understood my meaning.

"You mean I can help?" she whispered. I nodded.

Lori held out one of the babies to Cindi.

"You can hold this one," she said shyly, smiling sweetly. Cindi leapt to her side and took the proffered baby.

"She needs to be changed," Lori giggled after Cindi took the little girl. Cindi gave an experimental sniff.

"Poo-poo!" the baby giggled. "Poo-poo?" the other baby gurgled sadly. She scrunched her face up, grunted, then giggled happily. "Poo-poo! Me too!" she proclaimed proudly.

"Ewww! Daddy!" Cindi shrieked.

"We'll take care of them. We promise!" I quoted, reminding her of her promise. "This is part of taking care of them," I told her.

"You rat! I thought you were my friend!" Cindi moaned as she glared at Lori, but her eyes were sparkling with humor.

"I am. I didn't give Amy the chance to be the first one to change one of my babies!" Lori announced proudly. Everyone smiled at that. I thought Amy's smile had a tinge of relief in it. Lori winked at her when Cindi wasn't looking.

"Come on, Cindi, I'll show you how. You might as well come too, Lori. They both need changing now," Elizabeth said, and they left the room together, to bond as only a mother and daughters could.

They returned a few minutes later, Cindi and Lori holding the babies as if they had been doing it for years. They were all laughing as they walked in, the babies shrieking with happiness.

"Mom, can you please answer some questions now?" I asked respectfully. I had always been respectful to my Mom, but I realized now that there might be much more to her than we realized.

"Ask away, Son," she smiled.

"Why are there two babies? The hospital only told us about one when she died."

"That's because there was only one at the hospital," Mom 'explained'.

"Why?"

Mom looked at Elizabeth with concern.

"Elizabeth, are you sure you want to hear this? It involves some rather graphic and brutal discussions of your death. Are you up to hearing the gory details and reliving it again?"

"Thank you, but it's over. I'll be ok ... I think," she added in a whisper.

Megan and I snuggled closer to her on either side. She smiled gratefully.

"Elizabeth's body was pretty ... torn up when it was found. It would have been difficult to tell how many fetuses were there, especially at only two months old, but the truth is there was only one at that time. The people that tortured and mutilated her cut one of the babies out for some barbaric ritual they were going to perform."

We all gasped in horror. Elizabeth buried her face in my chest. I could feel her trembling.

"Then how are they here and alive now, and why are they a year old? They were only a couple months in the womb when they were killed?" I asked.

"As brutal as it may sound, their actions were the best thing that could have happened. My Mistress does not interfere often, and she doesn't allow me to interfere often either. One thing she is adamant about is protecting young, defenseless babies against horrific abuse, even after they are dead. We stepped in and she gathered the babies to herself. If you check the grave of the baby you knew about, you'll find it empty ... now. The babies' bodies were buried properly in my Mistress' 'special place for special people'."

"But they're here now, and alive. Why? Why one year old? They were only 2 months in the womb when they were killed," I asked again.

"They are a year old because that is how old they would have been had they lived, counting the time in the womb before they were born," Mom said.

"I notice you didn't answer the question of why they are here and alive now," I observed.

"I didn't hear any such question," Mom replied.

"Fine. Why are they alive? Why is Elizabeth alive? I asked for Cindi to be saved. What happened?"

"Son, do you remember all the lessons I taught you when you were young, about attention to detail and responsibility for your actions? Apparently not. You did not simply ask for Cindi to be saved. You removed the dampers from the gate, fired up the actuators and intensifiers to maximum, and opened the portal. You matched arguably one of the most powerful beings in the galaxy — you - with the strongest energy source known and let it fly with no instructions or restrictions other than 'fix it, make it better'! When the energy came through, you told it to heal Cindi, but you didn't specify exactly who Cindi was. That energy has been cooped up for a long time and loves to help. In the absence of specific instructions, it happily healed and brought back to life everyone it could find that deserved it and sounded like they fit your specifications. Maybe everyone, maybe everywhere, maybe every when. No one knows who is going to walk through that door next," Mom said.

I stared at her in disbelief.

"You have got to be kidding me!"

"Does Elizabeth and these two babies in front of you look like I'm kidding? I am not jesting in the least. Next time you decide to play cowboy and blast near infinite energy indiscriminately throughout the galaxy, you might want to consult with someone else first ... someone a little more ... unattached emotionally to the problem than you were."

I felt like I was being scolded.

"Mom ... I'm sorry ... I didn't know..."

"I know you didn't do it on purpose. Just remember this next time you decide to try something new ... Amy!" she laughed. Amy giggled. I blushed. Actually, I thought Mom was doing Amy an injustice calling me by her name. Amy was usually more responsible than this ... usually.

"Well, nothing to be done about it now. I guess we can't very well send them back now, can we?" Mom received a witheringly threatening look from all the girls. "I guess we'll just have to suffer through raising two seriously cute little girls," Mom said, sighing dramatically.

"It's not that bad, is it? They're not as obnoxious as Julie..." Melinda said, then stopped. "For heaven's sake, what now?" she asked, exasperated. We all laughed at her.

"Mom..." I started. Dad put his hand on my arm and stopped her.

"She's pulling your chain a little, Son. We've known for hundreds of years you were going to do that. We couldn't have stopped it if we wanted to, and you couldn't have avoided it if you tried. It's been one of the closest kept secrets; even Lisa and ... Julie ... didn't know. Some things are meant to be, and this is one of them."

"Spoilsport!" Mom said, glaring at Dad.

"What are the girls' names?" Elizabeth asked, eyes bright with excitement.

"Don't know. You never named them," Mom said.

"Of course not!" I said exasperated. "One died before it was born and we never knew the other one existed."

"Yeah ... I think that kinda sounds like the same thing as 'you never named them', doesn't it?" Katie asked.

"Oh sure, side with her. Women..."

" ... Can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em!" the girls chimed in together.

"Men ... can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em ... or ... can we?" Jessica asked. Sweet Jessica? I was doomed. She rubbed her hand softly high up on my thigh and smiled her sweetest smile at me.

It was a good thing I wasn't holding the babies or I probably would have dropped them. Megan and Amy rolled their eyes at me and laughed. Cindi giggled. Sarah gasped, blushed, and then looked away.

"Jessica!" she squawked.

"What shall we name them?" Elizabeth asked of no one in particular.

"Jenna and Kara," Lori responded immediately.

"Why Jenna and Kara?" I asked.

"It's their names," Lisa said simply.

"She's right. Two chambers just lit up in Utah and they have the names Jenna and Kara listed under them," Melinda verified. "Interesting; the chambers have two mothers listed for each baby ... Elizabeth and Lori."

Lori smiled weakly at me through tears of happiness.

'Thank you, Daddy!' she mouthed to me. I think she didn't trust herself to speak.

"Told you!" Mom whispered to Dad. He sighed and handed over a twenty-dollar bill.

"Why do I have colors now, and can read minds like the rest of the family?" Elizabeth asked. She didn't look happy about this new development.

"When you were in Utah, when you decided to let Megan keep your old colors, her old colors were deposited in your chamber in case you ever needed them. The energy, when bringing you back to life, reinstituted those colors and all the powers that go along with them into you, as it normally would. It didn't know any better; they were in your chamber. Is there a problem?" I assumed Mom was acting innocent; she had to know all about Elizabeth's desire not to have colors, didn't she?

"Never mind," Elizabeth muttered.

"There is something all of you need to know, before someone gets seriously hurt," Mom said.

We looked at her expectantly.

"All of you need to be on the lookout for signs of depression and distress with any of the females in the house."

"Why?" I asked

"There is a hormone that only exists for a few months before, and one month after each girl's fifteenth birthday. We discussed this before. It regulates their sexual desire, bringing them to a fever pitch so they are willing, able, and eager to have sex with everyone needed to activate their reproductive system. Unfortunately, that hormone cross links with the same system that regulates love and the concept of Life-mate," Mom explained.

"Uh-oh!" Victoria whispered. "That isn't good!"

"No, it's not. Be aware that anytime any of the girls even so much as thinks you don't love them, they will have an overwhelming desire to self-terminate. Watch for it; we don't want to lose any of these precious ones. Make sure they know you love them at all times, especially Megan and Amy."

"But Megan isn't fifteen," I protested.

"No, she's not, but the hormone is also airborne through the sweat glands, saliva, and ... other bodily fluids."

Amy giggled. Cindi blushed, Sarah looked confused, Jessica looked ... interested. "Also, Megan was a teenager in the last cycle, and it may be that hasn't completely worn off yet."

Wonderful! I had a whole house full of horny, suicidal, alien, teenage mutant ninja turtles! Oh wait, I was an alien too.

The girls played with the babies for quite awhile <The girls! Yeah, right! J.> afterwards, then we all drifted off to our rooms for the rest of the night. I had no problems convincing someone to watch over the babies while Amy and I finished our night together. No problems, except that it almost started a family fight. It was finally decided that Jessica and Cindi would continue to care for them that night, with the babies' 'mothers', Elizabeth and Lori in attendance. I figured by tomorrow there would be a set schedule somewhere as to who was to play mother when. It would probably be a schedule much like who slept with Patrick when, kept in the same place. I would never see it.

I pulled Amy aside before we retired to the room.

"Amy, I know this is supposed to be your night, but..."

"What is it, Patrick?"

"Well ... Megan has been acting strangely ever since we found out Elizabeth was alive again. I'm worried about her. Would you mind if I asked her to stay with us tonight? I want to find out what's going on with her, she seems so sad. I promise I'll make it up to you..." Amy put her finger on my lips, silencing me.

"Patrick ... Daddy ... of course it's all right. We're both your fiancés. She can join us any time. Let me take care of it."

Amy moved over to talk with Megan as I said goodnight to the babies.

"Da-da! Ni'-ni" they gurgled.

I kissed them on the tops of their heads and tickled their bellies. They giggled and squirmed.

"Da-da! Stop! No ti'kl!"

I watched Amy and Megan speaking on the other side of the room. Megan was crying and gesturing wildly. Amy hugged her, then took her hand and led her to our bedroom. Megan tried to break away, then followed reluctantly.

Amy and Megan were waiting in my bedroom. Megan was sobbing brokenheartedly as Amy held her, trying to comfort her. She stared at me with that 'look'.

"Megan, talk to me. What's wrong, dear?" I asked.

'Please don't yell at her, Daddy. She can't help it. It makes sense in her mind.' Amy warned me.

"Oh, Patrick, I love you so much! Being married to you is all I've ever wanted. I've come so close and now it's all gone forever! Please, just let me die," she whispered.

What? Die? No way!

'Julie! Protocol 59, NOW!' I shouted in my mind.

'Patrick, you know... '

'I don't give a damn! Activate it now! That's a direct order. They can shoot me for it later. DO IT! NOW!' I ordered.

'Yes, sir. Protocol 59 activated now, effective immediately. Let the record show that Protocol 59 was activated at this date and time by Julie Wilson, on her own authority, with full consequences of this action fully known and understood by the same Julie Wilson.'

'Julie ... no!'

'Sorry, sir, but I will not take the chance of you being found guilty for this. My journal has been transcribed and sealed. It cannot be changed.'

Julie's 'voice' changed to an official command.

'All self-termination programs are cancelled and off line immediately. Activation can only be achieved with input of Command Override Orders through the Administrative Authority Module with an administrative level password. This command is in force until further orders. Authorization code Alpha 2 alpha, out.'

I sighed and relaxed. Megan was safe. I had deliberately interfered with the most basic rights of Cornazans, the right to self-terminate. I, or Julie if she had her way, could be punished severely, including by death for that action, but Megan was safe. I quietly, secretly erased Julie's sealed and protected journal entry. I would not let her take responsibility for my actions. She would kill me if she ever knew I did that. She would kill me if she ever knew I could do that.

"Megan, what's wrong? Why do you say marrying me is gone forever? You're planning our wedding. What happened?"

She looked at me as if I was crazy. Well, I had to agree partially with that... someone was crazy, but I didn't think it was me!

"Elizabeth is back, and alive. She's your wife. You have two new baby daughters to raise together. You have Amy. There's no room there for me. I don't want to hang on and be a nuisance. Just let me go so you can be with Elizabeth again. I understand." She looked at me with big, sad eyes, a devastated look on her face.

"Oh, Megan, is that what you think? Patrick would never give you up. He loves you too much for that. He still loves you, still wants to marry you ... don't you?" Amy asked, hugging the crying woman. The look she gave me told me I damned well better!

I took Megan in my arms and kissed her.

"Megan Angela Wilson, will you marry me?" I asked quietly.

She stared at me, a stunned look on her face.

"But ... Elizabeth ... but ... yes, but ... I don't understand..."

"I know; you never have. Amy, would you please bring Elizabeth in here? Bring Eric also; I think someone needs her twin."

Amy ran out of the room. I held Megan close, whispering in her ear how much I loved her. She trembled and cried, looking at me as if I was still crazy. I was ... crazy for Megan Angela Wilson. Always had been, always would be. Now, I just had to convince her of it ... again. If she wasn't so desperately cute and sweet, I might begin to wonder if it was all worth it ... someday ... in about a thousand years. Wait! I had known her for more than a thousand years, and I hadn't started yet. Whatever.

Amy returned, leading a reluctant Elizabeth and Eric by the hand. I saw snoopy little eyes peering around the doorjamb. I didn't have to say anything; one look and the eyes were gone.

"Elizabeth, sit down, please. Eric, sit down and take Megan on your lap. Your crazy sister is being a silly little goose again," I said, grinning at her. It had the desired effect. Megan turned red.

"I am not!" she replied hotly. Eric pulled her down on his lap and nuzzled her neck, kissing it softly. She whimpered and that just made her madder.

"Stop it! I am not being silly! This isn't a joking matter; it's serious! At least it is to me ... I don't know about to other people!" She glared at me.

"What is?" Eric and Elizabeth asked together.

"It ... I ... just ... Oh God, I'm so scared! Look at her; she's gorgeous, sexy, his wife, the mother of his babies ... how can I compete with that?" Megan wailed.

"Of course I am; I always have been," Elizabeth answered, smiling at her own joke. I knew her well enough to know she wasn't joking, not completely. "Why is this being stated like it's some new revelation? What competition is she talking about? What's going on here?" Her eyes grew huge as it dawned on her. "Oh Lord ... she isn't serious, is she? She can't be thinking..."

I nodded.

"She is. Megan thinks that since you're alive again, that you and I are husband and wife again. She knows how jealous you've always been about me with her and she thinks there's no room anymore for her. She wants to cancel our wedding," I explained. Megan hadn't actually mentioned cancelling the wedding yet, but I figured that was coming next. I figured self-termination by necessity cancelled any weddings the person had pending.

"I've been away for awhile. She's supposed to be some kind of genius or something. Is she always this silly?" Elizabeth asked.

"I'm not being silly! This is serious, not some fucking joke!" Oops. Megan dropping the F-bomb meant someone was in imminent danger of being hurt. "She's your wife and she's back. If you were going to marry three people, you would've asked Cindi. There's no room for me now." Megan looked forlorn. "Please don't laugh at me. This is my whole life we're talking about. I'm so scared!"

Elizabeth cringed as she realized how upset Megan was. She knelt down in front of her, taking Megan's hands in hers. Eric held her from behind as she sat on his lap. I put my arm around her, and Amy snuggled up to her on the other side. The near-hysterical redhead was surrounded by those who loved her.

"Megan, dear, let me explain some things to you," Elizabeth said quietly. She waited until she had Megan's full attention.

"First of all, I am not married to Patrick. Legally, marriage ends when one of the partners dies. There is no provision for marriage to begin again after the dead partner is alive again because it never happens with humans.

"Second, I had Patrick for my husband for fourteen years, and I made him miserable the whole time." She raised her hand to stop my objection. "Ok, I made him miserable almost the whole time. Megan, you're his soul mate. He wanted you the whole time we were married." Again, she raised her hand. "He never realized it, and would've been horrified had he known it, but he did. He never would've done anything, because he was the height of human fidelity, except the one time at our bachelor party, but he thought about you all the time."

"You knew about that? I thought you were asleep," I said. The look on Megan's face said she thought so too. Elizabeth gave us a sad smile.

"Of course I knew; that's one of the reasons I feel so guilty about what I did to you two. I knew all along that you loved Megan and that she was much better for you than I was, but I selfishly kept you for myself, making you miserable all the time. I even interfered with you being friends with her. Then, after I assured myself I had cut you off completely from her, I left you all alone." She raised her hand again. "Making you miserable all the time," she repeated, daring me to argue with her.