"Counselor... , Do you have another Witness? You know so far you haven't proven your case."

Yes, your Honor, I do have one last witness. When you hear his testimony I'm sure everything will be clear."

"Then, call your next witness. Get him in here."

"Well, Judge... , there may be a slight problem."

"A problem... ? Well... , Will he testify or won't he?"

"As you know, Judge Fudge, we are trying to prove alienation of affection here. This man personally witnessed the two of them... well you know... doing it."

"Counselor, will the man testify-"

"He has to be made to testify, Judge. He's our only eye witness."

"Enough stalling, Counselor, call your next witness."

"Your Honor, The Witness says he won't testify. I had to have a friend pretend to place him under arrest to even get him to Court this morning."

"You pretended to arrest him? On what charge... ?"

"I told him he was being charged with drinking too much."

Oh, never mind; let's just get on with it! I'll explain all that to him once he gets on the Stand."

"The Court calls Roscoe Perkins to the stand."

"Mr. Perkins, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth—so help you God?"

"I do."

"State your full name for the record."

"You already know my name—it's Roscoe Perkins."

"Mr. Perkins, I understand you were told you had been arrested for a drinking problem."

"Whatever they said I done, Judge—I didn't do it!"

"But didn't they tell you that you had been brought here today for drinking."

"Great! Judge! Let's get started! I could really use a drink... no offence, your Honor, but this place is starting to give me the willies."

"There's no drinking allowed in my Courtroom; but I am going to dismiss the drinking charge."

"But Judge... , I ain't touched a drop in weeks! I didn't do anything-"

"Never mind, Mr. Jenkins. Before we let you go—I believe the Counselor has some questions for you."

"Mr. Jenkins, could you tell the Court where you were on the night of July 21st of this year?"

"I was doing some night fishin' down on Wildcat Creek."

"Could you tell us what you saw?"

"Well, I saw right away the fish weren't biting."

"And this upset you, I suppose?"

"You darned right, Counselor, I jest wasted my money buying that stupid fishing license. I think I should ask for a refund.

"Okay, could you tell the Court what else you happened to see that night?"

"Well, around midnight just as I was getting ready to leave, I saw this fancy SUV pull into the woods near Wildcat creek and park."