Chapter 19

Michael was pleased with the way his first two classes had gone as he walked from campus towards his flat.

The afternoon was clear, the sun hung just beyond its zenith, the light haze of the morning having given way to a crystal afternoon with a light breeze. Fall was in the air and Michael was happy to be walking through it he was also happy that he would have some time alone with his women.

Valerie and Tera's actions over the past few days had struck Michael as odd.

He had been with both of them off and on through out the last few days, either together or individually. Their conversations always flowed easily and there was never a sense of anything negative. However, there had been no mention of his stated desire that the three of them live together or his pronouncement of loving them both.

As the days crept by he was becoming more and more unsure about what the eventual outcome would be.

Turning the corner onto Nelson St. Michael was once again struck by this place that was quickly becoming a home.

He moved through the streets of Oxford like a local, being greeted every so often by a student or shopkeeper that he had met.

Michael had fallen in love with the tight streets, unique architectural styles and the ancient feel of the place.

Being so close to the water reminded him of home, crossing back and forth over the intracoastal, feeling the shift in the breeze and the scent of water that came with it.

Oxford felt comfortable, almost as if he belonged here or had been here before.

Having Tera and Valerie in his life only solidified that feeling of home.

Opening the door and walking inside he was excited about the weekend. The festival and exploring Nogardshire were interesting things that he looked forward to, but Michael was more interested in having some uninterrupted time with Valerie and Tera.

Walking up to the loft Michael looked around for anything he may have missed.

The bed was unmade; it was one of his quirks, seeing no need to make a bed he was simply going to mess up again in a few hours.

Not finding anything else he needed, Michael grabbed his overnight bag and made for the garage, eager to pick up the women, eager for the drive to Nogardshire.

Michael had not had the opportunity, aside from the trip back from London, to have much time behind the wheel of the Aston and his heartbeat increased a bit as the garage door opened revealing his new beauty.

Dropping the top and stowing his bag in the boot he turned the key, savoring the throaty growl that issued forth as she awakened before settling down to a soft resonate burble, awaiting his pleasure.

Michael smiled as he pulled out of the garage. Heading to Valerie's his last few nights alone played through his head.

During those evenings sitting in the quiet loft, looking out over the canal, Michael had tried to contact Aoife with no success. He was still shaken by his last visit to the cavern, still questioned why the mention of a name would have such a startling impact on her.

His perception of Aoife had always been one of imminent control.

She did not seem to be a changeable creature; the overwhelming sense from her was that of affection and strength. She seemed immutable; to have that vision shaken in such an energetic fashion left Michael in a place of turmoil.

Through the days and nights since, his emotions had ranged from feelings of sorrow and emptiness to concern and wonder. There was such power in the visions, and such comfort in having her come unbidden into his mind.

The lack of her being there was noticed, as was the lack of Valerie and Tera.

Michael shook off his ruminations as he pulled up to Valerie's flat, laughing at the scene before him.

Tera was sitting on the steps that lead up to the flat, one small bag in front of her, she was looking over her shoulder, rolling her eyes at Valerie as the third piece of her luggage slipped from her grip and bounced down the stairs beside her.

It was an interesting snapshot of the difference between the two women.

"How long are we going for," Michael asked Tera as he got out of the car.

Laughing, Tera responded, "I suppose three bags worth of time."

Valerie scowled at both of them.

"I don't think everything will fit in that," Valerie said pointing towards Michael's car.

"We will manage," he answered popping the boot, placing Tera's bag next to his.

It was a tight fit but with two of Valerie's smaller bags in the boot, and the larger one on the seat next to Valerie in the back, the fifth army was ready to move out for Nogardshire.

Both women loved the convertible and the three of them were quickly lost to the simple joy of the wind in their hair and the sun on their faces as they drove out of Oxford. Each was enfolded and comforted by the beautiful day and being in the company of those that they loved.

Michael felt the proximity of Valerie's hand just before it slid lightly to rest upon his shoulder. The sparks flew, as they always did whenever either of the women touched him.

The energetic feel of them was one of the things that so surprised Michael.

Alone he felt as if he was operating at a normal level, about 50% of capacity. Having Valerie or Tera around him, that notched the energy up, each of them providing another 25% to the energy of his life.

When either of them touched him ... well, there is no good way to explain the vast amounts of energy, emotion, passion and love that were tapped when this occurred.

Michael thought of it in terms of the water.

Alone he was paddling down a serene creek.

Having them close, the creek became a deep fast moving river.

With a touch the river became swollen, and he rode the crest of a flood so powerful that it sometimes took everything in him not to be simply overcome by it.

It always left him wondering what would happen when he gave up trying and let the flood simply ... take him.

Valerie's fingertips played over his shoulder, it was a light, familiar touch, the type that so often go un-noticed, that get lost to whatever we are actually focused on.

This touch was not missed; Michael and Valerie both felt every nuance, luxuriating in the simple and complex emotions it elicited within each of them.

Tera sliding her hand on top of Michaels, as it rested on the gearshift, pushed the energy to a whole new level.

Michael and Valerie both felt the change, the volume increase as Tera's energy was added to their own.

Anyone who would have looked into the car in that instant would have seen three people sitting silently, huge grins on their faces.

The back roads that Valerie guided Michael to were just as one would expect. Rolling hills, green countryside, the quintessential drive in the country.

Michael enjoyed getting to know the car, feeling how she reacted in the tighter turns, pushing her a bit harder on the straight bits, feeling that subtle but oh so exhilarating feeling in the pit of your stomach as you add a G or two.

Tera watched Michael out of the corner of her eye. His expression shifting from concentrated, as he threw the car into a very tight turn, the hedgerow seemingly far to close to her as it flashed by, to giddy as he would jump on the accelerator and the car would surge ahead, the engine howling with seeming glee at the chance to stretch its legs.

Tera herself was content. In this moment, with the wind swirling around her under a cool fall sun, the two people in the world she felt the safest with, the alien feeling of contentment almost overwhelmed her.

Michael moved his hand, surprising Tera out of her moment of reverie. She felt the absence of him, and then felt the connection resume as his hand came to rest on her thigh. The heat and warmth of it surprising her, sending a delightful spark between her legs.

Michael's thumb commenced rubbing small circles on her thigh; it was distracting to a fault. She found her eyes closing, reveling in the conscious act of him caressing her, amazed at the passion such a simple touch could bring forth.

Michael was pleased when he glanced over and saw the easy look of happiness on Tera's face. He loved the firm feel of her under his hand. She had chosen a pair of khaki pants; the thin material did little to hide the heat and sensuous strength beneath it.

Valerie's lips close to his ear shifted Michael's focus from Tera's supple thigh to the warmth of her breath as she whispered, "I love you."

His heart raced a bit as both women smiled at him.

Valerie sat back, her hand slipping from Michael's shoulder, she watched as his hand continued to play over Tera's leg. She was glad the weekend was finally here, it was doubtful that either herself or Tera could hold out much longer, being at a distance from this amazing man had worn on both of them.

Valerie closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of the sun on her face as the last two evenings with Tera drifted over the black screen of her closed eyes.

...

Following Tera up the stairs that night, Valerie was full of conflicting emotions.

The one emotion that was not conflicted at all was her love of Michael and her ever-growing love of the strong seemingly sad woman who had become almost as necessary as Michael had, to her vision of the way her life should be.

"I'm getting in the shower," Tera yelled as Valerie closed and locked the front door.

Hearing the water start she moved into the living room, set down her purse on the small coffee table as she fell to the couch, enjoying its well-worn embrace.

'He loves us, ' Valerie thought as she slipped off her shoes and sat back closing her eyes.

Michael's pronouncement had not been surprising, Valerie had seen the way he looked at Tera, the way they gravitated towards each other. It was different than what she and Michael shared.

To Valerie, Michael was a warm comforting blanket, once cocooned within it anything was possible. She felt such love, such want, such a deep-seated need to be with him that it often times threatened to overwhelm her.

Much to Valerie's surprise and growing joy, Tera elicited much the same reaction within her.

She knew that she was in love with the woman but had no frame of reference for that.

Oh, she had the same normal fantasies as everyone else. But this was different, she felt for Tera, wanted Tera in a way that was totally alien and absolutely familiar all at the same time.

Valerie stood up from the couch, a small happy smile on her face as she walked down the hall towards the bathroom. 'In for a pence in for a pound, ' she thought as she quietly opened the door.

...

"I can't do this," Tera said staring at her own reflection in the mirror. Swiveling her hips she reached into the shower, fumbling for a moment before finding the handle and turning the water on.

Michael's declaration of love had not come as a surprise. Tera knew the moment she saw Valerie and Michael together that there was something powerful between them.

Michael had said over the past few days that he loved her as well, hell; he had said he loved each of them in each other's presence often over the last few days.

But both, how does that work, how could it, how could anyone love two people differently but equally, there had to be a short end of the stick and Tera was resigned to getting that end.

"Valerie," Tera said into the growing steam that enveloped the small room.

It was a sigh more than a word. Said with the tone and inflection those of a religious ilk say amen.

There was a finality in this simple act of say Valerie's name, a wracking understanding that while strong, the feelings she shared with Michael were so very different than those between Valerie and he, and in this case, by Tera's estimation, different translated into less.

Stepping into the shower, the hot water just tolerable enough to stop her from turning it down, tears came to her unbidden. It was not a strong wracking thing; they were the tears of someone who feels unworthy of being loved, of being included.

Wrapped up in this place of quiet despair she didn't hear the bathroom door open.

...

The soft sobs of the woman behind the opaque shower curtain were barely audible over the sound of the water.

Valerie's heart contracted at the sound, knowing all too well the feelings that brought them forth. Valerie was amazed again at how two women, so different in age and history, could feel such dazzlingly mirrored emotions.

She looked at herself in the hazed mirror, regarding that foggy version of herself.

It was true of most people that such a version was all anyone ever saw of themselves, or others.

So often we walk through the world unknowingly blindfolded by the persona we exhibit, never seeing, or allowing others to see, the true us.

Valerie's hand reached out, her palm crossing the wet surface of the mirror.

Her reflection changed, came into clearer focused. The tiny water drops, left by the passing of her hand, followed gravity's pull, streaking her countenance, once again blurring the details, the hidden depths of her true self.

Valerie pulled the sweater she was wearing over her head; the heat in the small space wrapped her now exposed skin in pleasant warmth. Unhooking her bra it joined the sweater on the floor. Tera's hands moved to her breasts, running beneath them, tracing the reddened outline left by a bra worn too long.

The skirt slid to the floor followed closely by her sensible "work" panties.

With a last lingering stare in the refogged mirror she pulled the shower curtain slowly aside.

Stepping into the shower, seeing the wet hunched back of the woman she had come to love, Valerie squared her shoulders. She would share her soul openly with those that she loved; there would be no pretense, no personas, only her, laid bare. She trusted that those who professed their love for her actually did, that she would be as safe as she felt she would be in her heart.

Valerie's hand moved out slowly to Tera's shoulder, the slight touch electric and comforting at the same time.

Valerie drew in a quick breath with the contact, her soul in that moment leaping into the abyss unarmed.

...

Tera started at Valerie's touch.

Turning quickly she saw the young woman standing there, her features clouded a bit by the steam.

She seemed ethereal in that moment and Tera blinked her eyes several times to be sure that it was not just a figment of her overactive and overheated imagination.

Valerie's hand reached back out, landing on Tera's shoulder. The touch resonated through both them.

Valerie felt Tera's strength in that touch.

Tera felt Valerie's depth of feeling and capacity to love.

They stood there for a while, neither speaking. In this moment there was no real need for words, they were attuning to each other, turning a corner in their relationship but doing so side by side.

Each was simply reveling in this new dimension, each feeling the others simple proximity.

"Thank you," Valerie said softly, stepping closer to Tera. Their bodies still not touching but for Valerie's hand on Tera's shoulder.

"For what," Tera asked, feeling the energy between the two quicken as Valerie moved closer to her.

"For being honest with me, for telling me that you were attracted to women as well as men, that you found me attractive. It took a lot of courage to do that and I am very appreciative that you did," Valerie finished as she turned away from Tera, sliding by her to get under the water.

Tera backed off a bit, trying to become part of the wall in the small shower but was not able to avoid contact as Valerie slid by her.

Valerie's hip felt cool as it briefly touched hers.

Tera's nipples hardened at the contact with Valerie's back.

Some of Valerie's soft hair brushed her shoulder, leaving a tingling sensation as she passed by her and under the showers spray.

Tera watched the younger woman as her body began to glisten, coated with a warm sheen of water. She enjoyed the way the water played over her back, sliding down quickly only to slow at the rise of her ass before continuing its journey.

Turning around Valerie was pleased to see Tera watching her; she enjoyed the look of wonder and hunger that showed in the woman's eyes.

"You and I have a lot to talk about," Valerie began as she grabbed the soap and a washcloth, slowly rubbing them between her palms as she continued.

"We find ourselves in a strange situation, with Michael I mean, not the shower," she smiled.

"I love Michael, you love Michael and Michael loves us both. I know that the feelings he has for you are very different than those he has for me. The question is how do we deal with this given the fact that he doesn't want to choose."

Valerie started to wash her body, the soapy towel lost in a sweet cinnamon foam of lather slipped over her arms and shoulders as she continued.

"Michael said we could just be companions, that idea does not appeal to me, I don't want him in my life as a companion, well just as a companion. I have never felt anything close to what I feel for Michael with one exception," Valerie paused after saying this, lifting her foot to the edge of the tub the washcloth flowing over the curve of her thigh and knee. She smiled as she saw Tera following the washcloth, her gaze then moving up to her eyes.

Turning her back she raised the other leg and continued.

"I want Michael as lover, mate, friend, confidant and husband. It is my intention to give myself over totally to the love I feel," Valerie stopped and looked over her shoulder, Tera was looking in her eyes this time.

Valerie handed the soapy towel towards Tera, "wash my back?" she questioned.

Tera took the towel, her fingers slipping over Valerie's, lingering there, lost in the foam for a moment before the contact was broken.

Valerie turned towards the wall, her hands splayed on the wall.

Tera looked at the cloth in her hand and then knelt behind Valerie. Her fingers gently played over her ankle as she lifted Valerie's foot and began to slowly wash the back of her calf.

After letting out a breath held a bit too long Tera continued.

"So, I don't want a platonic relationship with Michael. I would suspect that you desire something close, if not exactly, what I want with Michael for yourself. That kind of leaves you and I in a unique position. We could be girls about it and force him choose, neither one of us wants him to do that, as I believe he wouldn't be able to stay away from whoever he didn't choose. I would hope that you and I can be women, that we can talk through this and come up with a solution that works for all of us," she stammered this last as Tera had chosen that moment to move very close to her, the feeling of her powerful hands behind the soft silky warmth of the soap as she massaged it into Valerie's shoulders made a pause mandatory.

Tera was listening closely to Valerie, as closely as she could while her hands moved over her supple skin.

Valerie's feel was very different than that of the other women she had been with.

All of them had been military women, either in the teams or officer level, all of them had been in top physical form, their strength easily seen and felt.

Valerie was different. She was the first civilian woman that she had shared this proximity with and the differences were not lost on Tera's detail oriented mind.

Valerie was soft, lush; her skin was smooth and flawless but did not have the hardness Tera was use too.

Discovering Valerie in this very tactile way only heightened Tera's desire for her, but more than that, it presented a physical manifestation of the difference between them.

And it was those differences that she, and she suspected Valerie, both knew would present the solution to their current perceived predicament.

"That feels wonderful," Valerie said in a soft voice.

"Yes, it does," Tera, whispered in her ear, never taking her hands off her now well cleaned shoulders.

"You were saying," Tera said as she stepped back, her hands slipping lower on Valerie's back.

"I want 100% of the love Michael has to give me. I know that you want and deserve the same. I think the real question is can we both be okay loving and being loved by Michael."

"Not just understanding with our heads that he loves, wants and needs us both, but knowing it in our hearts and souls, acknowledging it as a fundamental truth. Are we capable of allowing ourselves to be loved by him, to watch him show that love to both of us, knowing that his expressions of love for both of us takes nothing away from either of us?" Valerie finished and turned, the water quickly washing away the soap that clung to every spot that Tera had touched, and those spots were numerous.

The women stared at each other; their heartbeats marked the time as it crept slowly forward in the warm cocoon that they shared.

With a smile, Valerie reached behind her and turned off the water as Tera pulled back the shower curtain.

Valerie stepped out, grabbing a towel off the rack and handed it to Tera as she took another for herself. Valerie opened the door to let some of the steam out of the room, both women were feeling overheated, the steam the least of the reasons.

"What about us," Tera asked as she efficiently dried herself off, years in the military showing through in this simple task which she completed expediently, a contrast to Valerie.

The rough but soft texture of the towel felt good on Valerie's skin as she slowly dried her arms and shoulders, watching Tera's economical motions from under her wet auburn bangs.

"Us, hmmm ... there is a lot of room in that question, care to clarify a bit," Valerie said, her light teasing tone was not lost on Tera.

Wrapping the towel around her, Tera stood there in the tub for a minute, Valerie had moved on to drying her breasts and Tera was mesmerized by her movements for a moment. She recovered and moved passed Valerie out into the hallway, she was feeling a bit light headed; she only marginally blamed the steam.

Tera leaned against the wall in the dark hallway, watching as Valerie, who was turned away from her, bent over to dry her legs. Her eyes were drawn to Valerie's center, water still clinging to this most intimate spot. Blushing, Tera shook her head before giving voice to her own emotions.

"I have feelings for you, they are tied with Michael and what I feel for him, but there is also a large part of what I feel that is just about you, how I am when I'm around you. You are right of course, I want Michael in the worst way, the emotions that swirl around in my head and heart when he is close to me are like nothing I could have dreamed. My desire is for him, but I have an almost equal desire for you. If we are to be sisters I can live with that, but I want you to know that my feelings for you run much deeper than mere friendship," Tera finished, feeling more light headed than before she slipped to the floor, looking up, seeing apprehension pass across Valerie's eyes.

'I've gone to far, ' Tera thought closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"Are you alright," Valerie said, from close by.

Tera opened her eyes and Valerie was there, crouched down in front of her, a look of concern playing over her features.

"I'm fine, and I'm sorry, I don't want to pressure you into anything Valerie, it's just... ," Tera trailed off, closing her eyes, taking deep breaths trying to get her emotions under control.

Valerie was concerned but pressed on. "I don't feel pressured in the least," she said, sliding down the wall to sit next to Valerie before continuing.

"I've never been with a woman Tera. Oh sure I've had the normal fantasies everyone has. But I've never been in love with another woman, I have always been attracted to men, assumed they held sway over my hearts needs and my bodies desires. I can't say that is true anymore."

"For awhile I thought it was the fact that you saved my life that day on the road, you were so strong, so capable. Then later at the hospital you were there for me as well but with a different kind of strength, you supported me when I thought Michael was lost to us. I couldn't have made it through that day without you."

"Afterwards, as I got to know you, as I saw that you were important, hell, more than important, that you were loved by Michael, I thought the feelings I had for you came from that, wanting him to have whatever would make him happy."

"I wrestled with that, trying to find my own feelings, untangling them from what I felt for Michael, trying to see what my feelings about and for you were." Valerie's emotions came through in these statements.

Tera slipped her hand to her sides fingertips slowly passing over Valerie's palm, Tera intertwined her fingers with the other woman's.

The warmth and presence of Tera's hand in hers buoyed Valerie and she continued.

"Just as Michael loves and wants me differently, but just as passionately, than he wants you, my own feelings have mirrored that. I am in love with you Tera. I don't know what it means, I don't know how it happened, but it is there and I am very happy it is. I want us to be everything to each other, not just you or Michael, but everything for each of us, the three of us seem to complete a circuit, we are more together than the sum of our parts. If you will have me, I want to be everything I can be to Michael and to you. I hope that... ," Valerie's sentence was cut short as Tera's lips gently landed on her own.

The kiss was soft, not long, not short. It held the promise of passion but so much more. It held the gentle caress of friendship, the easy laughter of sisterhood, the warm embrace ... of home.

Standing, Valerie reached out with her hand, Tera's rose to meet it. Helping her wife off the floor Valerie slid an easy arm around Tera's waist as they walked slowly towards the bedroom.

Both women were drained from the simple and complex act of being open, of being available, of being themselves.

Valerie and Tera spent that night in each other's arms.

Both slipped into pajamas, there was no desire for physical intimacy beyond wrapping themselves in each others arms and drifting into a contented sleep that would find them refreshed, with a very different perspective than they had when the sun had set the previous night.

"Tera, time to wake up," Valerie said. The room was gray, the dawn just breaking, shrouding the space in a soft opaque glow.

Tera stirred, her eyes opening slowly, taking a moment to focus as she clawed her way up from the warm depths of a contented sleep.

"Good morning," Tera sighed, her arms stretching up over her head, legs uncurling and flexing. She felt rested. She lay in the warmth created by the proximity of their bodies looking into Valerie's eyes, both women sharing a knowing moment.

"Thank you for last night," Tera said as she rolled over propping her head on her hand as her other reached out, gently moving some of Valerie's stray auburn tresses from in front of her eyes.

"No thanks are required, I haven't slept that well in years, you make me feel so very safe," Valerie said as she moved closer to Tera, her lips brushing lightly against the other womans, both of their eyes half closing at the gentle contact.

"We need to get moving, I have early meetings and you have someone's body to guard," Valerie said playfully as she slid out of bed and walked from the room.

"Michael," Tera said with a whisper and a smile as she too rose from the bed, ready for the day to begin.

Wednesday passed quickly for Valerie. She had rescheduled several meetings, trying to free up Friday. It seemed important that they get to Nogardshire a bit early, the incoming call on her cell phone would only solidify that feeling.

"Good morning Val," Ian said, his voice full of energy.

"Ah, good morning uncle, I was just thinking about you," Valerie replied.

"Do you think you could make it up here on Thursday," Ian asked, the animation with which the request was made was not lost on Valerie.

"I was actually already working on that, I have pushed a few things back and forward, I was going to call you this afternoon and see if it would be alright if we came a day early. Michael is very eager to take a look around, I figured the extra day would provide some time and not cut into attending the festival," Valerie answered.

"Excellent, Millie and I are looking forward to seeing you and meeting Michael..." Ian paused, as if thinking if he wanted to say this next before continuing, " ... and Tera, Nigel and Millie both say she is a very unique young woman, I am looking forward to meeting her as well." Ian finished.

"I think you will like her Uncle, I know that she means the world to Michael ... and to me as well," Valerie said. The strength of her statement was not lost on Ian.

"How are you Val, I know the last two weeks have been hard with the accident and all, are you doing alright, is there anything I can do," Ian said.