Chapter 1

I knew from the moment I landed that the huge city in front of me was Alihian. It was where I'd expected to appear in this world, and the location looked right to me as best I could translate the tiles in the game into the reality around me.

Birds chirped as they sailed on the warm breeze. The grass rustled under the touch of the wind as well, bringing with it the fresh scent of a world untainted by gasoline engines and coal-fired power plants. I couldn't help but marvel at the untouched beauty of this game turned reality.

Well, you crazy old man, you got your wish. I'm here at Alihian. First things first, time to check my equipment.

Running through D.Q. Three's equipment list in my head, I immediately seized on the thought of the Swordedge Armor. Monsters won't like that much, I thought, and chuckled.

Rummaging through my magical bag, I managed to locate a suit. Grabbing it carefully to avoid cutting my hand off on its spikes, I tried to pull it out of the bag.

"Ah, fuck," I cursed when the armor wouldn't come out of the bag. One of a kind item, and obviously somebody in the group with the Hero is wearing it. Oh well, Dragon Armor will work, I guess.

The Dragon Armor emerged from my enchanted sack without a hitch. The Shield of Strength would work just as well here as it had in the D.Q. Two world. The only thing stronger was the Shield of Heroes, anyhow, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to get that out of the bag. I decided to forego a helm for now, but made a mental note to keep an Iron Mask near the top of the sack so I could grab it in a hurry if necessary.

Changing out of my Magic Armor, I strapped on the scaled Dragon Armor, liking the way it felt. I didn't feel quite as stiff in the torso because the scales moved, where the solid plates of my Magic Armor hadn't. Either of the armors would provide strong protection against Blaze spells, which is always good.

Leaning my Shield of Strength up against a nearby tree, I contemplated my choice of weapons. The Dragon Killer was a powerful weapon in this game, just as it had been in D.Q. Two. There were a few stronger ones, but most of those were one of a kind.

There was one that wasn't, however.

Digging through the bag, I let out a "Cha-Ching," when I recognized the Thor's Sword. While rare, it could be obtained from monsters in the game. Considering how often I wandered in circles building up to insane demigod-like levels, I often picked up plenty of those rare items. I pulled it toward me and exclaimed, "Ha!" The odd magic of my bag didn't stop me from retrieving the weapon.

A cawing erupted behind me and I spun to see three Black Ravens streaking toward me. I started to reach for my Shield, but I could almost hear the Thor's Sword singing an alternative to me.

"Oh, this is going to be too sweet," I chuckled. Aiming the weapon at the approaching birds, I willed the sword to discharge its magic.

A roaring tongue of flame erupted from my sword, engulfing the three ravens. They went up like dry paper, with nothing more than a few odd bones and a couple of drifting feathers left to mark their existence.

"Eat Firevolt, Tweetie," I laughed as the flames died down. Then, I remembered that the Hero had magic in the D.Q. Three world.

Concentrating, I found the words of spells burning in my mind. While many of the spells the Hero had access to in this game were a bit weak and lame, there were a few gems. Boom could certainly be useful, as could Vivify, and the other healing spells. Zap, of course, was one I wanted to try out. I knew I'd have to find some companions if I wanted to use Thordain. It relied upon drawing magical power from more than just the caster to work.

So, I've got some good armor, a shield that heals me, a sword that shoots tongues of fiery death, and some handy magic. Not bad. Not bad at all.

I sheathed my sword and strapped on my shield. Another thought flitted through my mind and my brow furrowed. Unfortunately, I still don't know how in the hell I got into this situation, or how to get out of it. I have some weird old knobby-kneed man manipulating me and I've been on the receiving end of pissed off women twice now.

Shrugging my shoulders, I thought, Not a damn thing I can do about it, though. I'm just going to have to go with the flow and try to have some fun. This beats watching re-runs or infomercials.

Glancing at the city, I realized it was going to be a far longer walk than in the game. Appearing right next to the city was actually a couple of miles in this real version of the game world, if I was judging my distance right.

"Oh well. Alihian, here I come." I set off whistling Adventure, the overworld theme of the game. That rousing tune set a quick pace and I made good time across the grassy field.

I'd run across a slime or three, and a few more ravens, but none of them had been suicidal enough to venture too close to me. I lamented not having an opportunity to test out the Zap spell, but I had a whole huge city in front of me to explore.

Alihian was easily the size of Endor, and the streets were crowded. I could smell wood smoke, food cooking, and the underlying scent of sweat from the crowds in the city. The guards at the gate let me walk in without a second glance — although they were stopping many others who were armed. Must be my pseudo-connection to the Hero. Characters in games can get away with murder unless it's part of the plot of the game that they get in trouble.

I passed by a house and drew up short, seeing something through the window. A very attractive young brunette was bending over, reaching into a cabinet, and I have a nice view of her firm bottom from my vantage point.

Well, I'm close enough to the gates of town. I could make a run for it if I have to. I've got plenty of wings too — if I need to beat a magical retreat. Let's see how far my connection to the hero extends.

I walked around the house and put my hand on the doorknob. Common sense screamed at me that I was about to get myself in a boatload of trouble, but curiosity was having its say as well. RPG characters walk into people's houses all the time, rifle through drawers, and get nothing more than polite conversation in return. I silently debated for a second or two, but then muttered, "Ah, screw it," and opened the door.

The brunette turned around and said, "Oh, hello. My name is Amy. What's yours?"

Hoping I wouldn't encounter the Hero in this game I replied, "Thakkor. I was just going to have a quick look around."

"Please, be my guest," she said pleasantly. "I was just going to have a bath. You will call out if you need anything?"

"Of course," I replied aloud, while in my head I could hear Eddie Murphy imitating his father in the Barbeque bit, Do you believe this mother-fuckin' shit?

"I'm off to my bath then," Amy announced cheerfully and turned to walk down the hall, deeper into her home.

My stomach rumbled, which was confusing, as I'd had breakfast not too long before. Granted, it was in a different world, but it wasn't all that long ago all the same. Chuckling, I walked into a door that looked like it might lead to a kitchen. Sure enough, the room beyond was a kitchen with a small dining area. Seeing a wheel of cheese and a loaf of bread on the table, I headed toward it.

Sitting down, I tore off a generous helping of cheese and a nice chunk of bread. The bread was fresh and the cheese delicious. I popped the final bite into my mouth and then looked around for something to wash it down. Unfortunately, the only thing I could find was water. It did the trick, but I decided the next thing I was going to look for was someplace selling booze.

Walking back out into the hall, I could hear the sound of feminine humming. The tune was the town song from the game and it drifted toward me from the hallway where the brunette had gone earlier.

Freeze, Jaywalker, my brain screamed at me in Beavis' voice. Nara, Mara, Gwen... Do you see a pattern developing here? Danger — Danger Will Robinson! You've gotten into enough trouble with women, numbskull!

Then the other half of my brain piped up, the one that distinctly resembled a devil on my shoulder. But, I just walked into her house unannounced and struck up a conversation with her. She's got a nice body and she's in the bath. What's to hurt, just taking a peek?

Naturally, I started down the hall, but only after opening the front door first.

I'll give this a go. If she screams, I'm out of here like a rat out of an aqueduct. If not, it proves I have a distinct amount of immunity with the citizenry, if not the characters in the game. Just a little experiment with potential naked lady thrown into the mix.

I reached a doorway where the sound of water lapping and the volume of the woman humming told me I was in the right place. I peeked in to see the brunette rinsing lather off her ample breasts.

"Oh, hello again. Did you find what you were looking for?"

"I had a little bread and cheese, if that's okay?"

"Oh, that's perfectly fine. The bread would just go stale before I could eat it all, and I have enough cheese to feed every mouse in the city." She stood up as she spoke, water running in rivulets down her nude body. The rest of her was just as splendid as her breasts, although she had a thick bush of hair between her legs, thoroughly hiding the treasure beneath.

Seemingly unmindful that I was a strange man and I was standing only a couple of feet away from her when she was completely naked, Amy picked up a towel and began blotting her body dry. "I've never seen you before. Do you live here?"

"No, just visiting. It's my first time, actually."

"Oh, you'll love Alihian. It's a wonderful place," Amy beamed as she rubbed the towel over her breasts, causing them to jiggle in a very distracting way.

The devil on my shoulder was screaming and beating drums, trying to get my attention, but discretion won the fight this time. "Well, I should really get going." The devil did sneak up on me then as I added. "You're a beautiful woman, Amy and you have a great body."

She giggled and blushed, putting her hand over her left breast and casting her eyes downward for a moment. "Thank you, Thakkor. You're a handsome man as well, although I can't see much of your body through that armor."

There was a great deal of suggestion in her voice, but I wasn't even remotely ready to risk that right now, no matter how hard I was. "Maybe I'll see you again some time."

"I hope so. Enjoy your stay," she responded and waved to me.

I waved back and walked out of the house, chuckling.

I popped into a few more houses, supplementing my bread and cheese with a little bacon in one. In each place, the people responded to me in much the same way as the first woman. I even offered a rather lusty compliment to a blonde woman with very large breasts while she sat next to her husband. He smiled proudly, completely ignoring me staring down his wife's top and remarking about her nipples pressing against her blouse.

He either ignored — or didn't notice — the lusty glance she gave me as well. As I walked out of the house, I thought, Whatever I've got going here must make me more appealing, too. The women back home sure don't eye me like that. I damn sure would have never hooked up with any woman like Nara, Mara, or Gwen.

I caught sight of something familiar and fairly universal to any fantasy world. A signboard with a cluster of grapes on it always meant booze. It was something easy for the illiterate to recognize.

Whistling the town theme and smiling as I thought about the first brunette soaping down her body, I made my way through the crowd and into the tavern.

I walked out of the tavern feeling good, both from the beer giving me a light head and all the attention from the barmaids. The place employed some beautiful women and lavish tips ensured I got excellent service, with lots of jiggling.

I let out a belch that would have done a Tyrannosaur proud and chuckled when absolutely nobody around me reacted, save a man who gave me a thumbs up signal.

I'd barely moved two streets into the city and the place was huge. I knew, more or less, where Louisa's place was and decided to head that way. I had little doubt that I'd be steered that way anyhow if my suspicions that someone was manipulating me were correct.

It must have taken me close to two hours to reach the quarter of town where I expected to find the adventurer's meeting place. The press of the crowd — and the distance alone — conspired to make the journey anything but quick. By the time I got there, the noise of people talking and my own boots clattering on the cobblestones was getting on my nerves. I've never been fond of big cities, or rather all the people in them.

I knew that the building I saw dominating this quarter could only be the adventurer's hall. Looking like a huge combination of a tavern, barracks, and inn, the place just screamed its purpose.

Of course, the huge sign on the second story did a fair job of identifying Louisa's Place, too.

I perked up the moment I walked in the place. The atmosphere was far friendlier than I'd expected. Laughter, singing, and conversation echoed off the polished wood walls. Directly in front of the door, behind a huge desk that doubled as a bar, stood a woman who could only be Louisa.

She had the look of a retired adventurer about her. I guessed she was probably in her forties, but she was still a striking woman with a wealth of dark, curly hair. We locked eyes for a moment as I checked her out, and she offered me a bright smile, along with a beckoning nod of her head.

Giving a little shrug, I walked toward the bar. As soon as I was within hearing range, Louisa called out, "You're new here aren't you, Sweetheart?"

"Just got into town," I answered, coming to sit down on a stool in front of her.

"Well, head on upstairs and get registered then. I'm assuming you're looking for work with that sword, aren't you?"

I chuckled. "Well, I honestly don't know what I'm up to. Until I figure it out, selling my sword will do."

"Good enough for me, Sweetheart. If you need a place to stay, come see me once you've signed up. I have plenty of rooms and they're free to registered members. You get a discount on drinks and other entertainment too, if you stay here in my place," Louisa explained.

Smiling knowingly, I asked, "What's the catch?"

"Can't fool you," Louisa declared, tapping her nose twice, and then pointing at me. "There's a small monthly fee, but I make most of my money by taking a percentage of fees you're paid by people who hire you through here."

"Sounds fair enough."

"Go get signed in then, Sweetheart," Louisa declared, slapping the bar. "The first drink is on me."

I nodded and headed upstairs. I paid the monthly fee, which was indeed small, and didn't even amount to as much as I'd been tipping waitresses on any given day. I got my complimentary beer when I went back downstairs and decided just to relax for the evening.

Somehow, I ended up sitting at a table with two attractive women and an adventuring merchant, who put me in mind of Taloon. I don't really remember what brought the four of us together, as I was stumbling drunk, but I do remember having a good time.

When I turned to see who was entering upon hearing the door open, I noticed it was dark outside. "Damn, where's the time go," I muttered, slurring a little.

A loud snore erupted from the sleeping merchant, slumped over in his chair next to me, prompting me to laugh. The two women joined in as well. The muscular blonde seated on the other side of him patted him on the head, saying, "He just didn't know what he was getting into."

"I don't think I did, either," I chuckled because the room appeared to be moving in my drunken eyes.

Louisa walked up to our table and held out a key attached to a wooden tag, which noted my room number. "You look like you're about done in for the night, Sweetheart. Here's your room key."

"If I can manage to drag my carcass up there," I slurred.

"You're right next to us," the blonde woman said. "We're off to bed too, so we'll walk you upstairs and make sure you get to your door. After that, you're on your own."

"I'm glad I wasn't foolish enough to bet I could keep up with you. At least I can still walk," I said, while standing up. When the room went spinning, I grabbed the table to steady myself. "Well, sort of."

The two women stood up as well, "Come on, Thakkor, let's get you to your bed."

"Don't worry about Gregory here. We're used to this and we'll get him bedded down," Louisa offered, patting the snoring merchant on the head.

I didn't really need any support, but having the two women walking beside me did at least provide bumpers to keep me from lurching too far to one side or the other.

We made it up the stairs without incident, and the two women stopped in front of their door. "Yours is the next one down," the brunette explained. "Do you think you can make it?"

Making a gesture as if I was tipping my hat, I said, "Yep, thanks. Fun night. Remind me to buy you a beer to thank you."

"You bought all the drinks tonight," the blonde reminded me, raising her eyebrows and laughing.

"So I did," I chuckled, realizing she was right. "Doesn't mean I can't buy you another does it?"

"Not at all," the blonde laughed. "Go on. We'll keep an eye on you and make sure you manage to get the door open."

Nodding, the action extremely exaggerated and nearly throwing me off balance, I turned toward my door. I made it through the few steps to the door of my room and managed to get the key in the lock. Leaning my head against the door, I twisted the key and unlocked the door. I turned back to the ladies and offered a thumbs up signal, prompting them both to laugh. They walked into their room at the same time I lurched into mine.

Getting out of armor when you can barely walk and the room is spinning like a carousel isn't the easiest process in the world. It's a good thing that I'd switched to the Dragon Armor, because it only made a moderate rattling sound as the pieces fell to the floor. If I'd still been wearing the shaped metal pieces of the Magic Armor, it would have sounded like the Tin Man falling down a flight of stairs.

I managed to get it all off, eventually. I misjudged the distance when I tried to get into bed, however. The smart rap on my shins made me wish I'd left that part of my armor on.

I fell across the bed with my eyes and teeth both tightly clenched against the pain. After a while, I managed to get up on the pillow, though getting under the coverings proved to be too complicated in my intoxicated state.

When I drink, it's nearly impossible for me to go to sleep, and when I do, I usually wake up not long afterward. This time was no different, and I noticed some faint, fascinating sounds as I was trying to relax. After a few minutes, the sounds got louder and I realized what they were. One of the two women in the next room was having a very good time. Even though I was drifting off, I still heard the quavering scream of release signaling that the woman was coming.

I fell asleep after that, but awoke not long after. I don't know how long it was, but what awakened me were more cries of ecstasy from next door. Dimly, I thought that the sounds were different, and that the difference indicated that both women were enjoying their night. Couple lucky bastards, I thought. Even my mental voice was slurred.

I fell back to sleep and tossed and turned for the rest of the night, dozing for short periods of time.

Once again, I praised the ability of healing herbs to cure a hangover. After the magical remedy and a quick wash, I actually felt human again. I strapped on my armor and I was pleased to notice that it didn't seem to smell half as bad as metal armor did. The absence of the rusting metal stink was the likely reason.

I opened the door to my room and the door next to mine opened at the same time. The brunette, whom I vaguely recalled was a healer, smiled and said, "Morning, Thakkor. Feeling delicate this morning?"

"Just tired. Healing herbs took care of the hangover," I chuckled.

The blonde soldier turned to her roommate, a quick flash of a half-smile on her lips. She then looked back at me and asked, "We didn't keep you up, did we?"

My still fogged brain finally came up with the two women's names — Cheryl and Annette. As I replied, I even managed to remember that Cheryl was the blonde. "Nah, I just don't sleep worth spit when I drink, Cheryl."

Cheryl was a soldier, through and through. She was well-muscled, without looking masculine — at all. Her wealth of long, sandy-blonde hair, ample breasts, and taut ass dismissed any illusions of her being manly. Annette was even more feminine. She had dark hair, bright green eyes, and sexy curves similar to Cheryl's — just a little softer looking.

Cheryl smiled and inclined her head, in a gesture of understanding. "Good. The last person to take your room complained all the time. I still think he was just jealous."

When I noticed Annette blushing, everything snapped into focus. My first instinct was to assume that the women had invited men back to their room. Now I realized that they were the only ones in the room letting out those sounds of pleasure. That thought sent blood rushing down below. "You won't hear me complaining about the noise," I chuckled.

"Oh?" Cheryl asked, raising her eyebrows. "It doesn't bother you?"

"Why should it?" I responded, with a shrug.

"Most men seem to feel threatened. At least, that's the impression I get from them once they find out," Cheryl explained.

I finally remembered to close the door to my room. "Not me. I was going to go grab some breakfast and then see about getting in a bath. How about you?"

"The breakfast or the bath?" Cheryl asked, offering a mock look of rebuke.

"The breakfast," I laughed.

"That's where we were headed. You okay with some company, Annette?"

"That sounds fine," Annette replied.

"Let's go see what Louisa has cooking, then," Cheryl declared and nodded toward the stairway that led down into the common areas.

We chatted as we ate, mostly refreshing our drink-fogged memories about what we had discussed the night before. I sat back and let out a sigh, realizing I'd ate too much. "Shouldn't have had that last stack of hotcakes."

Annette laughed. "True — especially if someone wants to hire you today. You'll have to march on an overfull stomach." She paused for a moment, and then added, "I think I ate too much, too."

Stretching a little, I said, "At least we'll be in the same boat if someone needs reckless sellswords."

Cheryl shook her head. "We're not looking for work right now. We never accept a job unless Rebecca is here. She's off visiting her family. She's our wizard. I don't know enough spells to get us through if we run into something hairy."

"We can start looking for work then," a voice called from across the room.