It was the council’s party bash at the Ireland Conservative Club. I liked it here; the view was good too in more ways than one. The plump old turkey behind the bar, Cynthia, had a huge pair of knockers which she always showed off to stunning effect with tight tops that just seemed to cling to an incredible huge double package that hung down real low. Her tops were stretched so tight over her incredible cantilevered torso that her big nipples jutted out making it hard to concentrate on my pint whenever I visited. I may only be a young man in comparison with the big sturdily built old bird but the way they just thrust a good distance from the rest of her body and so wide too drove me to distraction. It was getting so bad that I found that I just had to visit more and more just to stare at them.

Sometimes, like today, she would wear a low cut blouse instead of a low cut clingy top. Not that it was any less breathtaking. She would wear the blouse unbuttoned really low and open so wide that confronted by an enormous expanse of swelling female bosom and incredibly long dark cleavage made between two large rounded fleshy orbs meant that I could barely concentrate on the menu to place my order. If only she were thirty years younger, slimmer and prettier, I’d do her all night long. If only I had the courage to speak confidently to the top heavy old woman.

Not that she was good looking; she was very craggy and stern looking with an almost mannish face plastered with heavy makeup, able to chill an unruly man with just a glance or the whip of her tongue. Her eyes were a chilling grey above which heavy eyebrows sat and around which she wore thick blue eye-shadow and mascara. A thick nose sat above a small full lipped mouth covered with thick red lipstick. Her broad flat cheeks were also rouged. The super-buxom barmaid was definitely mutton dressed as lamb. She was also old, probably in her fifties. Short white curly hair sat in a puffed up fashion from the 50’s with a double curl at the front and swept curling back over her ears in which she wore large pearl stud earrings. Her severe face with a double chin was a constant reminder of her age. I wouldn’t normally dream of going out with an older woman, certainly not one so plain and old enough to be my grandmother. But that huge wide thrusting stack constantly invaded my thoughts. For she had the biggest pair of breasts that I’d even seen in real life and a visit to the Conservative club always ended in a wet dream for several nights afterwards.

It was ridiculous that a young upwardly mobile man like me should have the hots for an old turkey like her. There were plenty of nubile young women around in the council offices, many of whom caught my eye. Yet every time I went to the club with to ‘network’ with the senior officers, the sight of Cynthia’s huge chest and deep cleavage would strike me dumb and my dick rigid. The old dragon was around 5’8” tall, an inch shorter than me with a squat plump build that seemed somewhat sturdy. Her neck was thick and tapered out to a very broad set of shoulders. The upper torso tapered dramatically from wide shoulders to a medium sized waist and out again in a wide hourglass figure. Viewed from the side, the way her bust sloped dramatically out into a very large overhang was truly breathtaking and totally cock hardening.

There was one other thing that I noticed about the white haired sturdy barmaid. Whenever she had her back turned to me at the bar I saw the largest most powerful looking calves that I have ever seen on a woman. From slim ankles poised above her high heeled shoes, flared out these wide thick packed solid slabs of muscle, usually clad in sheer black nylon or as today in a fine sheer fishnet worn beneath a grey knee length skirt, I had to admit that I found them strangely sexy. How such a stern old turkey could develop such muscular calves I didn’t know? Maybe it was from carrying all that bodyweight around on high heels, for she was certainly no lightweight. It was hardly that she was a bodybuilder or something athletic or she wouldn’t be so plump?

“Hallo Jimmy, the usual?” Cynthia asked in a deep husky voice that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I just nodded dumbly. The craggy faced barmaid wore a very tight purple blouse open very wide and unbuttoned incredibly low. As she pulled my pint unsmiling I couldn’t stop staring dumbly at the vast expanse of bust flesh on show with a steady tightening in my groin. Those enormous mounds bounced and wobbled as they turned towards me as she put down my pint. I tried to look up at her face but it was difficult, her bust was like a black hole for my eyesight. “Are you ready to order your food, dear?” She asked. “Anything you fancy?” she added. Oh God yes I thought unable to stop my eyes flickering back to the gravity well down the front of her blouse. I began sweating as I forced my eyes on the menu and selected something under the withering stare of the big busted white haired barmaid. “I’ll bring it over when it’s ready, dear” she told me writing down my order. With one last quick glimpse at her incredibly wide low hanging rack that tightened my nuts, I went over to the table to join the others hoping I wasn’t showing too much of a hard on.

I sat down with the others and joined in the conversation while supping my beer. A considerable time later, I saw the mega-buxom old bird weaving her way towards us with trays of food for our table while her bust wobbled and moved with a sensual motion all of its own. She stopped directly opposite me and leant over to place the plates on the table. I just couldn’t stop gawping at the enormous amount of bust dangling right before my eyes, barely two feet away. Oh my God, she’s huge! If only I could get me a girlfriend with a pair like those. A veritable wide wall of bosom dangled and wobbled alarmingly before my face as she dealt out the plates. A deep inviting cleavage moving before my nose that took all of my self control not to stick my face into. “Is that everything? Shall I get you more drink?” I looked up at the enormous shelf of a bust that blocked out the light and made me feel claustrophobic as they put me into the shade. They were so wide that she could probably bring back pints for everyone at the table balanced on those. Somebody must have said yes, I don’t remember I was too busy gawping at that huge rack with a very stiff sensation in my pants and knew that I wouldn’t be able to get up from the table for at least the next half an hour.

The evening went on and I downed several pints and ate the foot. The old dragon returned several times with more drink and her front wobbling and bouncing around like she had a couple of footballs down there. “Phroar, I would if I were blind drunk and wore a blindfold” someone next to me remarked as Cynthia returned to the bar. Her tight blouse struggled to constrain its contents as she moved but was beaten by the laws of momentum and mass. And she had an awful lot of mass up there. The food and drink continued to go down and the huge thrusting breasts returned several times, wobbling and heaving as she refilled our supplies. “Careful lad, She’d suffocate you under those if she fell on you and snap you up for breakfast” one old wag said jokingly noticing my appreciative gaze.

The merriment finally came to an end and I decided to make a move towards the bar door. Oops! I felt a bit woozy although I hadn’t drank that much. Barely had I got to the door when a huge bust that appeared to be trying to escape from a tight purple blouse was blocking my way. “Night Cynthia” I told them trying to take in their sheer size. I want to take you upstairs and bonk your tits all night long was what I thought. “Are you driving, dear?” the enormous wide deep rack busting out of the blouse asked. “Yep love” I replied unable to raise my eyes. “Do you have a designated driver?” they were huge and soft looking. “Don’t need a dezi-thingy” the way they hung so wide and so low. “God it’s so deep and dark in there” I thought or I thought I did.

“I’m sorry Jimmy but I can’t let you drive home in that state” the white haired plump old woman said but I wasn’t looking at her face. “You can stay in one of the guest rooms. I insist” the huge full rounded bust wobbled in front of my face. “Oh yes please” I moaned, with my dick humping those tits I thought. “Ouch!” I yelped as the old turkey suddenly gripped my thumb in a vice of steel and placing her other hand on my elbow, bent my arm under hers. “Argh argh” before I could comprehend what was happening she had forced me through the side door that led to the guest rooms. I was completely shell shocked. I had no choice but to go with her because it felt as though she would break my thumb if I didn’t go with her.

We came to a flight of stairs. The blocky white haired woman stopped and turned to face me twisting my hand back with my thumb. “Argh” I cried as the painful hold forced me to lean back in pain while she wagged a finger at me. “I’ve had plenty of experience handling drunks much bigger than you” she scolded. “Now are you going to go up those stairs on your own or do I have to get rough?” she scolded, her fierce eyes made me wither. “Argh!” a sudden twist of my thumb had me crouching down before her, hopping in pain while the fierce craggy faced old woman glared down at me. Those luscious full breasts and inviting cleavage were just above the level of my face. Corrr I didn’t want to be a wimp in front of those. “Argh alright, alright” I whimpered.

Releasing my hand she began to climb the stairs then stopped and turned to look back at me that big bust over-spilling the banister. “Well are you coming?” she asked. Phroar with a pair like that she could get me cumming anytime. I began to follow, imagining what I could do with her boobs when something else caught my attention; the huge pair of calves flexing and waning level with my eyes. As the stocky old barmaid climbed, her big wide calves went from large rounded flesh to rock hard slabs of feminine muscle. The way the muscle moved under her skin was mesmerising. They were so shiny and well defined when they flexed and sheathed in sheer black nylon fine gauge fishnets made them all the more sensual. The staircases in these old buildings seemed to go on forever or that what it seemed like as I followed those big calves up the stairs. Wow what calves! They were so wide and large when they flexed with a deep cleft between the muscle heads with such a deep cliff-like edge.

Let me tell you straight, some of you might not like me saying this but I don’t hold with that PC bullshit. I’m not gay and if that offends you, tough, that’s just the way it is. I’ve seen pictures on the web of women bodybuilders and find it a real turn off. They just look like men in bikinis. I don’t understand how some of you get turned on by it, it’s just gross, all those bulging muscles writhing in veins and stuff, yuk!. However as I gazed as the old woman’s large powerful calves with the big thick plates of clefted muscle, I was getting a hard-on. They were big and muscular like a bodybuilder maybe more so but somehow the rocky smoothness without all those horrible veins and cuts was undoubtedly feminine.

As we reached the top of the stairs I numbly followed those stunning calves down the corridor. I couldn’t take my eyes off those big blocky calves as they led me down the corridor towards a door at the end. How did the old turkey get such awesomely huge calves? I just wanted to get down on my knees and have a feel. Their hardness seemed such a contrast with her awesome soft chest.

The amazing calves stopped and I looked up to find myself in a room no different than a small room in an old fashioned hotel. I the fearsome looking woman in side profile and my gaze fixed upon that huge bust thrusting out like zeppelins so far out in front of the rest of her body stretching her blouse tight over her exaggerated figure. My cock was absolutely rigid with the sight. As that huge wide rack turned to face me, I lost all self-control. Maybe it was the excess of alcohol but I heard myself say “Oh Cynthia, those boobs. I want you so bad”. I had never felt such overwhealming lust before; I just wanted her no matter what. Those huge forward thrusters drove me over the edge. “Oh God, I want you so bad” I moaned as I ran into her and in my lust filled craze pushed over backwards onto the bed.

I grabbed her blouse, fumbling with the buttons in my desperation to get at those huge mammories. The old woman’s hands tried to stop me and then I found leg brought up onto the bed between us with the knee pointing upwards and her shin wedged against me as if to prise me off. Suddenly the foot snapped upwards as the leg straightened. CRACK! The heel of her shoe caught me right under the chin. My head snapped back in a blaze of painful jagged lights and I staggered off the bed. I saw the bob of short curly white hair in an old fashioned hairstyle as the old dragon came up with a look like thunder. There was a dreadful blur as her fist swung towards my jaw. BAM! “Yaa-gh” I cried it felt like I’d been hit with a battering ram.

BAM! BLAM! BLAM! Her fists were large and blazed furiously battering my face into bruised and bleeding pulp. There was nothing I could do, her punches were dreadfully strong beating me into a stupor as she beat my face. I could only remember her huge breasts wobbling and whipping around from one side to the other in her tight blouse as she swung her fists like mallets against my poor face.

Finally the dreadful barrage of punches stopped and I looked up to see her face looking furious. She was pissed and with good reason, but before I could apologise she drove her big fist deep into my gut like an express train. WHUMP “Orrwoorgh!” I groaned as the air was forced painfully from my body. “Next time you think about forcing yourself upon a lady” The stocky old barmaid with the short old fashioned hairstyle snarled then sent her fist hammering so hard against my mouth that left my teeth aching and the taste blood in my mouth. “Think again” I caught an appreciative glimpse of the side profile of her heaving chest before her fist reconnected with my cheek so hard that I thought it would break. BLAM! My head was in a whirl and my eyes lost all focus. I staggered back and my legs almost gave way. “Sleep it off pal!” she snarled then her fist struck like the hammer of the Gods. BLAM! And everything went dark.

Ouch! I came around to find myself with a sore jaw and bruised face. Dear God, it felt like a truck had run over my face. Ouch! As I felt my aching face to check nothing had been broken I had flashing memories of an angry mature barmaid with her huge breasts bouncing around as she swung her fists. Oh no, it all began to come back to me. I’d tried to force myself upon Cynthia in my drunken stupor. Ouch! My face ached bad in places. Somehow the buxom old barmaid had punched my lights out. She was certainly not daintily built that was for sure. Oh Crap! She’s probably called the Police. Oh the shame, it will be all over the local papers that I tried to force myself on the old big breasted turkey. I certainly had some serious grovelling to do. Putting on an electric kettle which was in the room and emptying the sachets of instant coffee, I downed several cups but felt little better.