I open my eyes, as if waking from a dark dream. Light is bright, and I am unaccustomed to it.

Where am I? It doesn't look like my mansion! I am standing on a pedestal in some sort of a workshop, with tools and computers... And that one guy. Bearded, with long hair, wearing glasses, looks at me like I was Goddess herself. Sheesh. Pathetic nerd-boy.

"Who are you? Why the fuck I am here?", I ask, in my bitch-voice.

The short guy smiles widely.

"You can talk!"

Idiot. I am going to get medieval on his ass. Or maybe Star Trek, with so many computers and tools laying round. Oh, I love that...

"Of course I can talk, moron! Now, who the hell are you!", I am calm. Well, calmer than I should be. Yes, I know I am nude now, but I sooo... rarely mind that. Oh well. I seldom remember my former partners, maybe he is one of them... He seems blocked, though. Pensive. He still stares at mine taco shell, but thinks of something else.

"Well?", I jump from the pedestal. I need to get out, get some clothes, go back home. Even if I will need to sleep with professor Hippie... or kick his butt.

When he saw me moving, he probably made his decision.

"I am... you may call me Rick.".

Ho-kaaaay.

"Fine. Fine, Rick. Where the fuck are we?". He's a scientist? How he ever managed to graduate?

"In my lab, Ms Gina...", he answers. That's enough. He knows me, so, even if I do not remember him, he should bloody know who is Gina Septia Forbes.

I close my eyes... Where the hell is a mirror in this freakshow cabinet? I also need some clothes if i need to go home. I sit on a computer desk, pushing those keyboards and mouses away. I might not remember the previous night, but the hell with it.

"That is 'like an answer', Rick. How do I look?"

He looks at me, puzzled, and says something to himself. Something about programming and priorities, whatever.

"I need a mirror, is my makeup, my hair, okay?"

He sighs, and looks for one. "While you're at it, get me my clothes, wherever they are, okay?"

"I'm afraid I don't have your clothes, Gina... I'll get you a shirt and a pair of pants."

Whatever, Rick. I only need to get to a telephone, and I am a phone away from Hollywood!

Damn, I do not normally do poor guys. Who is this Rick, anyway. I am all for kinky sex with mad scientist, but this is too much! I look around the lab, looking for some signs of life, while doctor Rick is on his quest. Not much, some CDs, a lot of computers... Some blueprints. Booring.

"Okay, here you go." He took a mirror from the wall. Cute, if he wasn't such a moron.

I still look pretty, even without makeup. Tall and ravenhaired, without an excess pound of fat. Now, that is a miracle, still young and fresh after... wait, how old am...

INCOMPLETE DATA. DEBUG REQUIRED.

Huh?

Anyway, so I dress up. Male T-shirt and jeans, too short, but will be enough. Great, no shoes.

"Okay, Rick, may I use the phone?"

He looks totally stumped.

"Why?"

Okay Gina, what was yesterday? What you two were doing?

So here I am, bored and waiting for a hopeless moron with glasses. I try to make myself comfortable on this small guest bed, but I am not! Darn, I miss my home, my maids and all sorts of things.

Rick returns, with a glass of water, and I look at him, trying to remember what happened before.

What is the last event I can remember?

FILE NOT FOUND

What the fuck is that? What is that? I feel... strange.

The bearded freak smiles at me.

"So, Gina..." uhhh, how? Just how a gal like me could find herself in the middle of a Star Trek convention?

"What would you like to do?", he asks in a strange, nasal voice, and - we are getting weirder and weirder - he pulls out one of the... Palmtops? An electronic notebook, and looks at me.

"I am not playing your games", I look at him angrily. Dork. "Just tell me how did I get here, and how do I get home."